Ep. 55: Is there a thing as excessive empathy?

Finding balance between caring for others and safeguarding our own well-being is not just a seasonal challenge—it's a lifelong dance. But can empathy ever go too far? In this thoughtful Rosh Hashanah episode, Rabbi Jonathan Jaffe and Rabbi Leora Londy examine the power and perils of empathy—personally, communally, and even politically. From dissecting “The Giving Tree” to exploring boundaries in relationships, atonement, and social justice movements, the rabbis explore whether “radical empathy” can turn self-erasure into a vice. Hear powerful insights on Jewish text, real-life dilemmas, and why sometimes caring deeply means caring for ourselves, too.Timestamped Overview00:00 The role of empathy during the High Holidays00:20 Rosh Hashanah and questions on the limits of empathy01:10 The Giving Tree as a cautionary tale02:08 Radical giving versus the necessity of boundaries03:43 Jewish historical perspective on giving and abuse04:46 Boundaries, self-preservation, and critique of radical empathy07:18 Is radical empathy a superpower or Achilles’ heel?08:00 Maimonides on forgiveness and setting limits11:00 Biblical examples: Jacob, Joseph, and trust12:53 On showing up for others without losing oneself15:23 Radical empathy as a modern social phenomenon17:25 When empathy becomes narcissism19:56 Empathy in everyday dilemmas: giving vs boundaries23:32 Directing empathy toward causes vs people close to us24:29 Empathy for others vs self; balancing acts25:10 Family boundaries and ethical permission26:15 The challenge—and necessity—of forgiveness28:15 Ritual, release, and catharsis during the High Holidays29:12 Empathy, forgiveness, and self-care for the new year29:46 Closing and next steps for the community