EP 68: Deb Katz on The Art of Coaching

For episode 68 on The School of Unlearning, I sit down with Conscious Leadership & Executive Coach, Deb Katz. Deb brings a wealth of experience, fire and devotion to this series on The Art of Coaching.  Deb Katz shared her journey from political activism and anger-driven leadership to presence-based coaching, emphasizing the importance of challenging clients to see beyond their armor and strategies while staying with discomfort. The conversation explored how coaches can develop their "loving challenger" capacity by tracking their own signals and being willing to get it wrong in service of client breakthrough. This episode is for seekers, for coaches, therapists and humans devoted to waking up to their relational "racket".  We explore:  Deb's early shaping story, including the loss of her mother at age 6.  How deb channeled her passion, fire and heartbreak through political activism for much of her early life.  Deb shares having the "good fortune" of experiencing heartbreak, periods of unknown and even loss.  Deb shares some of her key influential mentors, including Rainbow Hawk and Wind eagle in the late 90's and learned more about the wisdom of nature, consciousness and the intersection of spirit and form.  Deb and Elisa explore the journey of individuation in consciousness and within relationships.  "It is a revolutionary act to let that which one is be enough"—trusting one's natural design like a tree trusts being a tree. Deb encourages leaders to "eat their shadows" owning how their fear and projections will impact their presence in a room. Deb explores The Upper Limit to resistance and pleasure, how it's biological, and that we create a "cocktail" or stress and love hormones when happy hormones increase.  How we use shame and sadness to block access to pleasure and maintain familiar patterns.  Signals: Deb urges us to tune into our own signals within the body, and how to use the signal as a way to move with the moment both in coaching and in life.  Coaching: Coaches often enter the field wanting to help from the "hero" position on the drama triangle. And, there is a widespread avoidance of discomfort in coaching culture and society at large.  Deb shares her love for helping coaches hone their "signal" to detect the client's acrobatics to avoid vulnerability and transformation  Loving challenger is explored, more a way to be in communication with the coach's own tracking system, honoring where attention is going and not being committed to being right about the challenge. Deb reminds us all about the mess of being human, the mess of growth, of birth and death and to wade in these waters. Deb and Elisa explore how we use relationships to fortify rackets: people train others how to relate to them in ways that keep their structure intact. (staying connected, staying apart, staying safe etc).  "I can't live another day doing this relationship the way I've been doing it"—examining how you've shown up, not using the relationship as scapegoat Deb shares why "widening the aperture" as we explore our aversions/projections is essential to conscious change and conscious leadership in the world.  Quotes: "The mind is not the source of suffering, but the uninquired mind"  "My job isn't to get it right. My job is just to reflect what I see.” "Shame might be what comes in as your upper limit to pleasure and desire." "I might have to feel some things that make me uncomfortable. But being in devotion to that more than anything else, that's a life of integrity." "Staying with the thread where the activation is, because where the activation is is the way through." To learn more about Deb Katz and her coaching, visit https://debkatz.com.  If you are a leader, business owner, entrepreneur looking to deepen your leadership capacity, step into embodied leadership for the sake of what is most important to you - schedule time with me at www.elisamaryhaggarty.com