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My name's Renee, and I am bad at movies, and that's why I ask my friends to make me watch their favorite movie that I've never seen before. So today, I have my friend Stephanie Marano on the show, and she and I are going to talk about the 80s hit Real Genius, starring Val Kilmer. What a babe. I actually really don't know anything about this movie, so... If I'm going to go ahead and do a blind judgment of the movie just based on the title alone, I'm going to guess that this movie, Real Genius, is about a fisherman who actually comes up with this invention that changes the whole way that people fish. And it's really successful. He ends up being able to fish three times the amount of fish that he normally can, and it kind of backfires on him. That's the plot of Real Genius, I think. But I don't know. We'll see. Let's go ahead and watch the movie.
And now, the plot of Real Genius in under a minute. Oh, hey, I'm Mitch. I'm this young guy, and here's my science experiment. Look at it. It's super cool. Oh, you're 15. Come be at genius school with me. I'm a TV star, too. Okay. Hey, my name's Mitch. You're my new roommate? Hey, I put all your clothes away for you. I'm cool. Cool. I'm Chris Knight. I'm super smart. Nice. Hey, who's that guy who keeps walking into the closet? Oh, you've seen him, too? Oh. Party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party. Hey, you kids.
You're in trouble now. I should have never brought a 15-year-old here to build a laser that's secretly a weapon to kill people from space. Oh, no. Mommy, I want to go home. Nerd. Wait. None of us are actually kicked out of school. I'm not sure why these empty threats aren't successful. Let's fill the guy's house with popcorn. Why? Because we found out that the laser is actually a weapon? Yeah, and he hates popcorn. Oh, tell us we're filled with popcorn. We saved the planet. Everybody wants to rule the world.
So, hey, Stephanie, how's it going? It's going great, Renee. Thank you so much for coming in. I also have Pete here, Pete Byrne. Hi. He's going to talk about the movie, too, because he saw it. I watched it, too. He's got a lot of opinions about it. So I would love to hear why you wanted to watch Real Genius, Stephanie. This is my absolute favorite movie of all time. I don't know why. The first time I ever watched it, I probably didn't get half of the jokes. But I knew that Val Kilmer was a babe. Yeah, that's okay. That was my prediction. I thought that...
Stephanie had to have had a crush on Val Kilmer when this came out, because how could you not? He's adorable in the movie. His hair is perfect. Everything about his hair. And then re-watching it years later, I was like, oh, this is actually a really good movie. This is hilarious. It's so funny. It's so witty. Like, the dialogue is perfect. Yeah. I'm surprised it just flew under my radar, because I love, like, 80s college party movies. And, you know, it's, like, about them being intelligent, too. But, like, Animal House, I love that movie. You know, just any movie where it's the college experience, because when you're, you know, younger, you think, oh, I can't wait for that.
I think that was part of it, too. I was like, this is college. This is what college is like. And then I watched it years later in high school and was like, that's not what college is going to be like. And then watched it while I was in college. I was like, that's kind of what college is like. I went to art school and I feel like, you know, specialized schools like that sometimes get a little wacky. So I was like, yeah, no, that's accurate. Yeah. And I just liked how offbeat some of the comedy in it is. It's just like a split second joke that means nothing to the plot. And it's just kind of like, OK, that was weird. But it's just so funny. It's out of the ordinary, just offbeat.
I don't know, I like that. Some of the lines are so quotable. One of my favorites is Chris Knight saying, in the immortal words of Socrates, I drank what? It's kind of a throwaway line in a way, but it's like... That's hilarious. That's so smart. I think that's another reason I really love it. It's very smart. Like, it doesn't dumb itself down, really. Yeah. Besides the laser science, it's a little long. It's like, is that how lasers work? One of our favorite lines that Val Kilmer had is when they're having, like, the indoor pool party. And Val Kilmer goes up to that girl and goes, she was about to eat a cheeseburger. And he's like, and knocks it out of her hand. Don't eat that. Don't you know it could make your breasts very large? Oh, no, I'm too late. It's like the smartiest, douchiest line I've ever heard. And she just eats that up. Yeah. She's like, OK, carry me away. Yeah.
I told Pina, I was like, if you use that line on me, I probably would at least laugh. I don't know if I'd be like carrying me away, but oh my God, come on. I mean, when you're a beautician and somebody compliments your breasts, maybe that's the key to your heart. Yeah, that's true. I forgot they were all beauticians. Almost. Student beauticians. Yes, almost beauticians. Let's not give them more credit. Oh God. Yeah, that was my, that was the only thing in the movie that I was like, oh. But it's a sign of the times was like every female character in that movie, like except for Jordan, even she was just kind of like wacky, but all the women in the movie were like.
sexualized like they were either just like horny for Val Kilmer or they were like really stupid I was just like what is happening at the same time there are some points well Jordan's a great character in general because she's a woman in this like clearly male dominated college yeah but she's still intelligent and interesting and important to the plot but there's also that character who totally disses Val Kilmer when he tries to hit on her where she says can you nail or can you pound a six inch spike through a board with your penis and he's like not right now girls gotta have standards what does that even mean I don't know what it means But it's wonderful. Was that an insult? Or I didn't understand what that meant. Was she just asking if he had an erection? It's possible. I think she was making a point, like, you're not good enough for me. Oh, my God. I want a real man like Jerry. I wouldn't have even understood that. If somebody was saying that to me, it's like, no, thank you. I don't like you. For three days, I've just been like, what?
What did that mean? It's a head-scratcher. I'm not smart enough for this school. The other interesting thing is that this movie is directed by a woman. Yeah. Martha Coolidge, who is actually a descendant of—I did some research, guys—a descendant of President Coolidge. What? That's awesome. Fun fact. I love it. Oh, another fun fact. I'm sure you know this, too. But during the movie, whenever we were watching it, Laszlo, the guy who plays Laszlo—
He was just so funny. Like, Pete and I just kept saying he's, like, the funniest part of this movie. And then I looked on IMDb later and saw that he's Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite. Yes. I was just so – because he doesn't look the same at all. Like, he looks like he's got – well, of course, he cut his hair. But then it looks like he got, like, his teeth fixed. He had, like, a gap in his teeth. And, you know, now it's not there for Napoleon Dynamite. But he was so funny in the movie. He has some good lines. Like, yeah, he's going to grow five inches in the next year. Yeah. Why do you know that? Okay, creepy closet guy. Just the whole subplot of him, like –
having like signed up for all these sweepstakes prizes. And that actually happened at Caltech. Really? Pacific Tech, the school is based on Caltech. Yeah. And they, it's free to lay as well. And they figured out the, as many times as you want entry rule. Oh my God. And something like in one year, $10,000 worth of prizes went to Caltech students because they were jerks. Oh my God. Like totally got in on that. Yeah. So now the rules have been changed for a lot of those sweepstakes. Yeah. I mean, I would guess so. Once you just kind of like.
game the system, then you're going to have to. Yeah. I love that, though. I didn't know that was a real thing that happened. That's amazing. Yeah, they did a lot of research and talked to Caltech students specifically. And a lot of the extras in the movie are Caltech students as well. But that's kind of what they based it off of. That's awesome. These guys.
I just like that they can, like, throw a boss-ass party using all their science knowledge, like, using the lasers to, like, point to where the party is and then above the, like, wherever they're hosting it, like, in that weird auditorium and it's, like, tanning competition or whatever it was, like, all written in lasers. It was so cool. It's like, I wish my school was that smart. It's very practical. Like, they're putting it to real-world use. Yeah, instead of assassinating people. Right, which is the, I guess, main plot point. Yeah, that's the underlying thing. That's, like, the MacGuffin in this movie. Yeah. Like, we need energy for a laser to kill people. That's, like, the craziest thing, though, is that that...
Like, yeah, in the first five minutes, they're showing the crossbow is what it's called. I was like, that's just straight up a drone. Like, 20 years later, 30 years later, right? This movie came out in 1985. Yeah, it just had its 30 years. Yeah, yeah. So, like, 30 years later, we actually have that. That's real. Yeah, that's like a real thing. Just with missiles and bullets instead of lasers. Yeah, yeah. I think we could do it with lasers if we wanted. It'd probably be better. Since it just vaporizes one person instead of blowing up a building. Right. It just leaves, like, minimal, just like a burn mark in the chair that they were sitting in. Yeah, the video that they, sort of that first scene, I feel like, especially since you haven't seen this movie, you're probably like, what am I watching? It's science fiction.
film is this yeah um but like the production value of their little like military video is also pretty great yeah yeah where'd the military get those special effects to vaporize a guy or did they really do it yeah it's funny the room they're sitting in all those generals at the beginning when it turns out they're just watching the demonstration video i feel like they use that setup in a bunch of 80s and 90s movies of just like the dark room where all you can see is the table and the screen it's the same kind of room they're in in jurassic park when they're looking at like charts and eating ice cream they're just sitting at a long round table in a room where a projector is somewhere that you can't see It just seems like a funny, common setup from older movies. Yeah, like a weird cliche. It's very Dr. Strangelove. Yeah, I was going to say that. But on a smaller scale. We like that, but our budget's low. Yeah, let's put it in a smaller room. Oh, man. When we started watching the movie, the kid that played Mitch, I said to Renee, we were watching, I was like, I've definitely seen that guy in other movies before. His face looks so familiar. And then 15 minutes later, I was like, oh.
I've seen him in this movie. I've seen this before. I just hadn't seen it since I was like seven. I saw it on TV. Yeah, I feel like he hasn't done much. He was in Apollo 13. Yeah. Other than that, I don't know. Yeah, that was the thing I did after we watched the movie was I looked on IMDb to see if any of those characters had come up in anything else. But, I mean.
I think Val Kilmer was really one of the only recognizable names in that movie. I mean, he was Batman, so he's a big deal. That hair, though. What a babe. The only thing I was like, he just completely shaved off his sideburn. So I rewatched this last night. And I had never noticed that before. And I was like, is the side of his head shaved to achieve this perfect coif? And it is. He definitely did that. That's so weird. But it was one of those student beauticians. Yeah, I'm sure. This will work.
Yeah, this is probably one of the first movies that I've watched for this podcast that I had no idea going into the movie what it was. And I wanted to keep it that way because usually I'll look at the plot summary or whatever, just like a synopsis. But my thought when I first started watching the movie was that Val Kilmer was going to be this really dumb surfer dude who just gets smart. I thought it was going to be like he just got electrocuted or something and just all of a sudden became a real genius and it was just about him being a genius. No, he's actually real smart. Yeah, he's real smart and eccentric. I thought that was an interesting character, just like a really eccentric fun.
genius level guy who, you know, just decides like, oh, yeah, Mitch, I was like you whenever I came into the school, but I just decided to not care anymore and just to have fun. And it's like, oh, cool. He, like, discovered work-life balance. Yeah, right? I could use some of that. He's like, I can't do this. It's too hard. I need to party. Yeah. No, I love that. That was really fun. Just any of the fun, like, antics during the movie. Yeah, that was a good underlying sort of point is, you know, just relax, have fun. That and always pay your interns because they might actually sabotage your laser that you've been building. Yes. I think it's so funny for, like, the end of the movie.
this big conflict that they're trying to resolve. They're not trying to stop anyone from killing anyone. They're just trying to stop them from testing the laser. What's happening is there's three crash test dummies in a Jeep somewhere randomly that they're going to try out the laser and they have to stop that from happening, which I guess to stop it from becoming a weapon or stop the funding, but it just seems like there were no stakes at all because they're not really attacking anyone. They're just kind of like, oh, you finished your laser? Let's see if it works. That's all that's happening. They have the research. In the beginning of the movie, they talk about making...
copies of their research. We know there's copies of them. I just feel like they didn't really stop anything from happening by making the laser misfire once. They'll probably be like, oh, fix it. Yeah, it would have been different if they had derailed the plot to assassinate the prime minister of Malaysia. But yeah, it's like they didn't have anyone specific in mind. It was just this thing that could happen. But you know.
Who cares? They were more happy that they ruined his house with popcorn than stopping the weapon from being made. It's already made. That's the other thing. That guy's skimming off the top for this research. He's committing fraud to build his dream house, which is in the middle of the desert and is the only house with a lawn. It doesn't make any sense. It looks like Edward Scissorhand neighborhood where his house was. It was so bizarre compared to the campus. It's like this perfect pristine house with a weird color. It was odd. Yeah. Oh, I felt bad for that dog.
The poor Great Dane that kept coming up and being like, hey, what's up, man? He's like, get out of here. Where did that dog come from? Whose dog is it? No, it's never explained. It does not have a collar because I was looking. Maybe you should take it to a pound or something. What if it's just his dog and he treats it like shit? He's just always telling it to get away. That's one of the biggest plot holes in the whole movie. This dog is coming from far away because there's nothing around this house. Is it his dog? Yeah, we don't know. He seems to know the dog. Yeah.
He knows it enough to hate it, which is pretty intimate. So what was one of your favorite parts of the movie, Stephanie? What's something when you first watched it, you were like, oh man, this is great. Probably that first scene when they get to the college and they're like skating around on that ice. And they're talking about the science of like, this ice is going to evaporate. It's not going to turn to water. I was like, what? That's science. I'm in. It's funny. And Val Kilmer has that line. Sort of the other bad guy, the blonde dude, what's his name? Kent. Yeah. Kent walks in and he's like, what is this? And Val Kilmer's like, this, this is ice. This is what happens when water gets too cold. This, this is Kent. This is what happens when somebody's too sexually frustrated. I was like.
That's amazing. What a great line. Yeah. Oh, I just love, I can't even remember the technology they used, but to make Kent believe that he was schizophrenic. They put a receiver in his braces. That's what it was. Yeah, Kent. Stop touching yourself. Stop touching yourself, Kent. He's God. That and there's the line where he's like talking about the time they catch Kent naked with a bowl of jello. He's like, it was hot and I was hungry.
Fair enough, Kent. So weird. Oh, I just loved – that was the one that I was most curious about looking up after because, like, just looks-wise, Kent did not look like a nerd. He's, like, a tall, like, you know, well-built, like, blonde guy, and they just basically, like, slapped glasses and braces on him. We were like, you're a nerd. You're a nerd guy. And when we looked him up, like, he hasn't really done much either, but he's always – in the movies he's done, he's played, like, what? Like, lieutenants and stuff? Well, he's been in, like, Michael Clayton, the newest Bourne movie with Jeremy Renner. He kind of just plays, like, these –
informant characters. Just like a guy that shows up in a suit with a confidential file and then leaves pretty much. Here's the stuff you ask for. That's his thing. That's what he's been typecast for. Yeah, right? He doesn't do a whole lot. It still says he's most famous for this role, though. Well, I mean, clearly. It's such a good role for him. He's such a jerk, too. He's just terrible and whiny. Oh, God, Kent. Just get over it. He's worse than Jerry. At least Jerry as a bad guy has a purpose. He's like...
I want money, I want this house to be perfect, and I want to show the CIA I can make a laser. But, like, Ken, what's your deal? He's just a wiener for being a wiener's sake. Yeah, you're just a suck-up who takes this guy's, like, laundry out. Like, what do you know? I love the super nerdy insults and stuff, like, the fights they have when he smudges the lens to, like, ruin the laser. He's like, didn't anyone ever tell you to keep your optics clean? Like, it's a big threat. Total nerd bash. It's your fault. It's so funny. So, wait, I don't know if you know this. Was this movie, like...
After or before Top Gun? Like around Val Kilmer's? Ooh, that's a good question. I want to say before, but I could be wrong. It was 85, so fact check Top Gun. Yeah, right. I figured it out. Pete's looking up. I got my computer.
But I mean, I feel like it launched his career for sure. That's what I was thinking. I was like, it'd be an interesting move for him to go from Top Gun to this movie. But I felt like this movie would have put him on the map for being like, oh, look how funny and cute he can be and so charming. And then they put him in other movies after that. Top Gun is 1986. Uh-huh. Right after. Yes. That would make sense. That makes sense. So he was working a lot in the 80s, basically.
Man, he's such a babe. I can't get over it. I thought he was really cute in that movie because all I really know is, I mean, I've seen parts of Top Gun, I haven't seen the whole movie, and I haven't seen his Batman. So that was one of the first movies I've seen Val Kilmer in his youthful state, being really cute and silly and charming and smart. I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I totally get this. I see the appeal about him. Yeah, because now he's a very different being. I just looked at a picture of him. He's just a big, giant meathead. Yeah, he looks really bloated. He still looks cute in that, though. He looks like he's got that character's face on a big ham body. Ham body.
Do you like Pete Holmes or you know who that is? Oh, yes. I'm a big fan. He has a joke about looking like lesbian Val Kilmer. He does. Yeah, that's true. He has the coloring and everything. He has the blonde hair. Oh, man. I'm not going to unsee that. It's so true. He should have Val Kilmer on his podcast. I think he would try to do that. If he's not trying it already, he should definitely have him. That should be priority number one for Pete Holmes. Yeah. Yeah. Poor Val.
I want them to keep working. There's actually a rumor that this movie is going to be turned into a television show, and I'm like, man, I hope that's about it. Yeah, that would be really cool. I'd love that. Very much in the vein, probably, of weird science. They did a weird science TV show, which I loved. I loved that show. It was so good. There were maybe two seasons, but... Yeah. This movie is such a better version of something like Big Bang Theory. Yeah. Big Bang Theory is just like, oh, charming, cool-ish, smart people, but it sucks. It's just them in their apartment, though. I would love to watch that show if it showed them actually in school, trying to do cool stuff, and also playing smart pranks. I would watch that all day if they just...
played smart pranks. Smart pranks are great. Like the car. Yeah. When they reassemble his car and it's snoring in his bed. It's like, what? That was awesome. I didn't realize it was snoring. It does make sense. It's like on hydraulics and it's like snoring on his bed and like rocking back and forth. It's like, that's great. That is so funny. Oh, even like, oh, what keeps sticking in my brain is whenever Val Kilmer pulls out, like, I guess it's just like a little cylinder of ice and then nitrogen.
Nitrogen. Okay. And then he like shaves off like just a little sliver of it and puts it in like the coin slot of a vending machine to not have to pay for a snack. I was like, oh man, it's using science for probably it costs more to get the nitrogen. Right. That's always been my issue with that. I was like, okay, well how much did that nitrogen cost? Like couldn't you have just gotten a quarter to it? Yeah. Aren't you really, shouldn't you be saving money? He's got to use his quarters for laundry. I guess he could use the ice for the laundry. He could. You know what's funny is like.
A lot of movies are really ham-fisted in the way that they show you something and you know that it's going to come into play later. That's one of the few times where I was like, oh, that's pretty funny, and I didn't even think that he was going to use that again later when he looked at it and was like, oh, I can freeze the laser. Who was going to predict that freezing the laser was going to be the solution? I mean, I know a lot about lasers, but I didn't see that coming. I didn't know that. They also do that in the beginning when he's like, don't bring popcorn in my house. I hate popcorn. Yeah, right? Yeah, and then it came back in the end. Who hates popcorn?
He just drops it, though. He doesn't knock it out of his hand. He just eats one more piece and then throws it on the porch. Yeah, that's right. There's a lot of physical comedy in this, too. There's stuff like that. There's another scene where Val Kilmer is in the house and he's like, take a seat. And just the way he sits down, he's very stiff and waves his body into the chair. It's such a non-moment, but it makes me laugh so hard. It's at the same time when he goes to Jerry's house and he tells him to take a seat. He just walks very quickly right behind Jerry and then sidesteps to sit down as close as he can. I wonder how much of that was just Val Kilmer being like, watch this. This is going to be funny. The director's like, just be goofy, be goofy, be goofy.
movie yeah that's probably a big part of it like a lot of it feels improvised almost but it's definitely very solidly written yeah oh i would love to be on that movie set and just have somebody be like just be silly just be silly or to be the wardrobe person yeah i'm just gonna put you in a towel and sunglasses on the back of your t-shirt that's kooky let's do it that was so fun yeah any like outfit he was wearing the way he acted he just i would want to go to school with a guy like that and be his friend i went to a school went to school with a guy like that who um i remember His name is Ray Ray. Of course. I don't know if you're out there, Ray Ray. What are you up to? But he was one of those kind of kooky dudes that would just sing to people and would run up to you and tell you the history of chivalry. And he'd be like, okay, thanks, Ray Ray. People like that exist. And so it's not that far-fetched. And I think that's another part that I like about it. This could be real school. I mean, my school was not like that at all, though. But I didn't get the real college experience. I feel like I was mostly a shut-in whenever I went to college. And this made me be like, oh, I wish school was like me. Let's go back.
No, no, no, no. Get a laser degree. Oh, yeah, I could probably do that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think you're capable. I just want to go back to school and then be the eccentric. Just, like, walk around with a towel around my waist and sunglasses on the back of my head. You could not enroll somewhere and just kind of hang out. That's true. Okay, so that's what I'll do then. Yeah, just be like Laszlo and build a secret underground laboratory in somebody's dorm room. Why are they letting Laszlo still live there? Because the guy definitely graduated or dropped out or something. Yeah. But he's just living in this. Why is who letting him live there? Who knows that he's there except for those two? That's true. You've seen him too. I also love the scene where Mitch goes into the basement. It reminds him.
me of have you seen Casper yes okay that's what I said oh yeah and they make a Casper reference at some point too yeah and this movie is way before that 90s Casper with Bill Pullman because Renee said exactly that when that was happening she's like this reminds me of Casper and then they said something about Casper like right after I don't remember what it was do you think do you think the writers of Casper were just like I love real genius let's make Casper I hope so I hope so, too. I hope that that's what happened at the writer's table. That was so great. Yeah, I loved that scene in Casper where she, like, comes down. I mean, you know, they did the same thing in Real Genius. He, like, lands in a chair, and then the chair kind of takes him on, like, a roller coaster, and he ends up down in the basement. But the Casper one was, like, she got a suit put on her and, like, powder put on her face and stuff. Right. This is awesome. Like, a lesser version of that. Yeah. To get to the point to see this guy working on a computer that only has a screensaver. Right? Yeah, we did. He's just staring at a computer with a screensaver on what? He's not doing anything. No, he's not. He's just tapping away, and then a robot is, like, packaging mail for him to the Frito-Lay. The Frito-Lay show. Yeah, that
Yeah, because in there you can see there's a box of Dunkin' Donuts in the background. His computer just has a screensaver up and he's lightly tapping on the keyboard. And it's like, is this just what he does all day? He just sits down there? Is he doing research or what? Well, he ended up, I mean, they wouldn't have been able to accomplish anything if it wasn't for Laszlo coming in and fixing it. What did he do? He gave them all the notes to the test. Yeah, to the test. I pulled up every single question that this teacher's ever asked. Like, here you go. He didn't give them to them. He said he just memorized it. He was just holding his entries for the competition. And he's like, oh, is that the test answers? Oh, no, I memorized them. So he didn't help them at all. He didn't, yeah. There's no scene where he's like, okay.
Question one is A. Question two, C. That never happens. Yeah. I'm guessing there's a lot of scenes that were deleted in that movie that would explain some of this stuff. Like, we were talking earlier about there's a whole scene where Chris is running around yelling, like, Mitch, Mitch. Like, he's looking for Mitch. And then, like, a couple scenes later, Mitch is just there. And they never explain where the guy found Mitch, like, where he's been. And it's just, like, there's probably a scene where he found him in there. Probably having sex with the older woman. That scene is so disturbing. Yeah.
That doesn't need to be in the movie. Like, that could have been cut and something else could have been added. Like, Laszlo explaining a test. I would have preferred it to a creepy old woman hitting on a 15-year-old boy. So weird. And that's how he, like, what's her name? Shelly? Oh, Jordan. That's how he gets Jordan to, like, kiss him. He's like, hey, this old lady was in my room and wanted to have sex with me, but I was like...
Not interested. Oh, so sweet. Kiss me. You chose me. That creepy woman, that cougar. But when he comes in, she's like, you're so sweaty. Like, did he almost do it? Did he get halfway? He's like, no, I can't. I have to go tell somebody else. He got nervous. Before I lose my boner. And I mean, maybe he ran to her, but they're in the dorm. I feel like he was down the way. Just a couple of rooms down. Yeah, that was the one part I couldn't get behind was the fact that there's like, even though he's in college, you could say, oh, yeah, this 15-year-old guy is like a little bit more mature. He's handling more adult situations. Certainly. But I mean, to be even, I mean, Jordan's 19 and he's, they have.
They like each other. Can you imagine being a 19-year-old girl having a crush on a 15-year-old guy? No. No, that's really creepy. Maybe she just loves his brain. She's so attractive to his brain. Pete's like two years younger than me and it still creeps me out sometimes. I got Renee to date me because a 68-year-old woman was trying to hit on me. I told her no because I want to kiss you. Got me hook, line, and sinker, I tell you. That was it.
The rest is history. I gave her the hamburger line, too. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That got me. There are some good pickup lines. I feel like there's a bunch more, too. Yeah. I just love every single woman that encounters Val Kilmer, except for Shelly, was just like, what's up, dude? Everyone was like, want to fuck? And he's like, yeah. Well, her MO is just screwing guys who are super intelligent. She's like, I want to sleep with the top ten minds of the world. All right, girl, you got goals. Did it. All right. Proud of you. That's your standards. It's just sleeping with smart guys.
Thanks, Pete. I tried to be subtle with showing you how long we've been going. Thank you. There's just so much to unpackage here. Oh, is that a clock? All right. You know I get distracted easily. I know. I'm sorry. Okay. That's fine. We'll cut all of this conversation.
So is there anything I haven't covered? What do you guys think? All I was going to say is, did you have any kind of relationship with a professor like they did with Jerry? It seemed like such a bizarre, casual thing. The only thing I can think of in my college is we had an advisor for our TV studio. So he would be in the TV studio all the time. We would kind of hang out with him. But other than that, I wasn't on a first-name basis with any of my professors. I definitely was. And that's why I feel like I had a connection to this movie as an older person, like in college.
So I went to school for photography. And just, like, everybody's just chilling and, like, making art, man. And, like, my thesis professor, I'll never forget, once told me, like, hey, just, like, relax. Like, the project will come to you. Maybe just, like, run through the woods naked, drink a bottle of tequila, and you'll find it. And that's the best advice anybody's ever given me. And she was so right because it did help. So I definitely have had those professors that I was just, like, high-fiving the whole thing. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. I didn't have that for sure because I went to LSU. It's a huge school. Every class I was in had, like, 50-plus people. We were all in, like, this huge auditorium. So you just didn't have that sort of a...
relationship with your teachers and getting to know your classmates too that was a big thing for me was just like the class was so big it's overwhelming and you don't really have anybody to talk to because they're just overwhelmed honestly it's a good point because i was in communication so i didn't there was maybe like one professor that we used first name basis on but she was so bizarre that nobody wanted to be friendly with her but it was different in the theater department like all my friends were in the theater department and i would help film stuff for like their combat classes and stuff and it was so much different they all just called their professors by their first name like tom and he would invite them to their home for like get together parties because it was like a super small town that we were in like that's It's awesome. He's like, hey, come on, you guys can come over. Me and my wife will make dinner. I was like, what? God damn it. That would have been nice. Well, there was that running thing where Kent always called Jerry Jerry. He's like, don't call me my first name, Kent. Cut that off immediately. Fucking Kent. God, it's the worst. Brace face. Brace face. Yeah, more Jell-O. Get out of here. Go get naked with your Jell-O, asshole. Damn. We got through the whole show without swearing. Oh, man. Shit. Fuck Jell-O fucker. Seriously. My bad. Sorry, children. There's no kids that listen. All the kids are watching Real Genius. Yeah.
That is the funniest thing, though, like you were saying earlier, is watching a movie when you're really young and not getting the jokes and then watching it when you're older and being like, oh, yeah, okay, that one slipped by me. Right. That's fun. I mean, the first invention he shows Mitch is a penis stretcher. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I forgot. That's so funny. And Mitch is like, nah, I'm good. Who are you? Wait, you're my hero and you're crazy? Damn it. Put all your clothes away for you. Such a weird relationship. But yeah, I really did like this movie and I love movies like that. I can't believe I'd never heard of it before you mentioned the name. I was so excited that you hadn't seen it because you got to watch it for the first time. Like, what an experience. Yeah. What a joyful thing. I would love to watch it again and see if I can. It was just so much happening that I think if I watched it again, I could like actually like.
let more things process it was just like joke joke joke this thing this thing this thing and it all kind of like some of it went over my head so yeah I'll definitely watch it again in the near future it definitely gets better the more times you watch it Good to know. Good to know. Well, yeah, thank you so much for coming in. Anytime. I know usually whenever I have on improvisers, we talk about a show that's coming up, but is there anything that you have that you want to promote about what's going on with you? Sure, yeah. My plugs? Yeah. Well, you can check me out at Murano Stephanie on Twitter. I'm a photographer, so if anybody needs headshots or baby pictures. Hell yeah. Wedding pictures, call me up. StephanieAMurano.com. There you go. Put that in the description for the... Well, we can share it on Facebook. Just include her website, too. Yeah, I can definitely do that. Not a problem at all. Cool.
And then, yeah, check out That at Movies on Facebook. If you want to, check out Moonroof, like us, and like Small Town Doctor. You don't have to plug me. I'm just looking at Pete like, you want to plug something? No. No. Okay, cool. Well, then on that note, we're going to go ahead and wrap up with our two favorite critics, Morty and Ava. They can't wait to talk about Real Genius and what they thought about it. So let's go ahead and have them on. Thank you very much.
Morty. What? Okay, so we're down here. Let's just get this over with. Let's talk about it. I know you didn't like this movie. We still have to talk about it. I have a bias. What? I used to work at the Frito-Lay company. Yes. And so taking advantage of our sweepstakes, it was a real thing that happened to us. So it wasn't a funny thing for me to see that. Here we go again. Listen, Morty, you know, I just think you should look at it as lesson learned, right? They make rules so that you can break them, correct? I would have to completely disagree with you. Working at Frito-Lay is how I put bread on the table and raised our son. So I don't think breaking the rules of...
That means stealing from us is a good lesson learned for me. Well, for the Frito-Lay company, for sure. That's right. You just have to think about things like whenever they put up a sign by the pool that says, do not get in the pool if you actively have diarrhea. Well, that means somebody at some point had to jump in the pool with active diarrhea and mess it up and get it all dirty. And so then they had to put that rule in place. So now Frito-Lay company has to say, oh, you cannot submit your contest application more than once. So suck it, Caltech. To me, the posting of rules just proves to me.
the ignorance and irresponsibility of man. We would not need to post rules if people had common sense. Having diarrhea means you should not go swimming. Having a fun competition, you should just know not to take advantage of it. Oh, Marty. I'm sorry. I just wanted to sell chips and make people happy. Hold my hand, Marty. Somebody cheated. A car could have gone to a family that needed it. They bought one bag of chips and they were rewarded with a car, but no, some smarty pants that specific tech won it all. It sickens me. Oh, Marty. I've never seen a movie make you so upset.
Well, it's the most realistic movie I've ever seen, and I hated it. I'm sorry. You didn't even like the part where that big breasted girl was jumping around? Well, of course, I loved watching that. Oh, yes. But that was irrelevant to the Frito-Lay travesty. True, this is true. Those were just supplementary breasts. What about, you know, the popcorn house? I liked the popcorn house. You giggled at that. You thought that was funny. I liked that scene until that bastard Lesler showed up at an RV with all the free things he won from the Frito-Lay corporation. Son of a bitch. Living in a closet, like a troll. I just feel like...
Maybe us collecting all of our Coca-Cola points is worthless. If you have such a bad taste in your mouth... I'm doing it honestly. But if you... You know that someone somewhere is going to mess with the system. They're going to rig it up in a way that they get to win everything. I can't live my life with the expectation that every competition is rigged. I can't live like that. I have to believe that it's not rigged. Rules are meant to be broken, Morty. See, listen. Don't touch my breast. Don't you dare. Do not do it. Post it. Don't do it. Post that rule on the wall and we'll see how well it works. Okay. Consider it done.
Consider me a criminal. I can't hear you. Under a breast. Get it? No, I missed the first part. Is it a pun? Yes, Morty. I can be funny. Oh, okay. He doesn't believe me. I couldn't hear the first. A joke's not funny when I hear the end of it. Forget it. Touch my boob. Sorry. Okay. I heard that loud and clear. Honk, honk. I can make jokes. Oh, the car's here. We better go.
It's Daniel. Oh, that must be Daniel. Oh, okay. He's outside. He can't hear you. Oh, here we go. Take off your microphone. Wow, he is here. Hi, Daniel. Rude Gus. Let's go. We were talking about your mother's breasts. We'll talk about it in the car.