EP13: How Much Should Parents Help With College Applications?

In Episode 13 of Drop In, Lisa and Josh welcome their very first guest, Mary O’Malley, Co-Head of Admissions Advising at Union Hall Advising and author of the Admitted-ish Substack, to tackle one of the hardest questions parents face during application season:How much should I actually be helping my kiddo with their college applications?Should parents edit the college essay? Can they fill out the Common App? When does helpful feedback become rewriting? And how do you support a stressed-out teenager without accidentally taking over the entire process?Mary brings experience from college admissions, independent school admissions, college counseling, enrollment management, financial aid, and reading applications for highly selective universities. Together, Lisa, Josh, and Mary break down what authentic student voice actually looks like, why ordinary essay topics can be incredibly effective, and why a teenager’s application should still sound like a teenager wrote it.They also talk about how parental involvement should look different from student to student, why families may want to schedule dedicated “college check-ins” instead of talking about applications constantly, and why one of the best things a parent can do is give their student room to have an opinion before offering their own.Because helping does not always mean fixing.Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let your kiddo do part of this imperfectly.And as Mary reminds families, a college acceptance letter is not a parenting report card.In this episode:• How much parents should help with college applications• Why a college application needs to sound like the student• What admissions officers actually mean by “student voice”• Why an essay does not need a dramatic or extraordinary topic• Helpful parent feedback vs. rewriting a student’s essay• Why parents should ask permission before reading an essay• Whether parents should fill out the Common App• How students can own their application while still receiving support• Why different kiddos need different levels of help• How to keep college admissions from taking over every family conversation• Why parents should let students react to college visits and decisions first• How comparison can steal the joy from senior year• Why an admissions decision is not a verdict on a student’s worth• Why a college acceptance is not a parenting report card• How the college application process can build independence before collegeParents, you absolutely have a role in this process. It is a big one.But your job is not to create the perfect application.Your job is to help your kiddo build the confidence to own theirs.Love your kiddo more than you love the outcome.Need help guiding your student through essays, applications, college lists, deadlines, and strategy without taking over the process? Visit decisiondrop.com/contact to learn more about working with Lisa and Josh at Decision Drop.And be sure to check out Mary O’Malley’s Admitted-ish Substack for more smart, practical, hysteria-free college admissions advice.