EPISODE · Jun 21, 2026 · 47 MIN
ep172: understanding self-harm, ft. clare assante
from waking up in real time · host Beka Elle
In this episode, I sat down with Clare Assante to talk about supporting teens through self-harm, anxiety, and the heavy pressures they face. We explore how parental fear can get in the way, and how understanding thought, feelings, and the body’s signals creates real space for healing.Clare shares practical insights from her work with teens and parents, while we dive into the “bullshit detector,” sitting with uncomfortable feelings, and why allowing emotions to flow (instead of rushing to fix them) is so powerful.Key Topics– Clare’s work with teens & parents– Understanding self-harm– Sitting with feelings & the "bullshit detector"– Roller-coaster analogy– Being grateful for triggers– Parenting: allowing kids to feel their feelings– Parental fears of judgmentWhat Resonated MostUncomfortable feelings are often just a signal we’re believing scary thoughts — not that something is wrong.The same sensation can feel like fear or excitement depending on the story we attach.Our urge to “fix” our kids’ discomfort is often more about our own anxiety than their needs.Triggers are gifts that show us where we’re not yet free.Guest BioClare Assante coaches teens and their parents through self-harm, anxiety, and life pressures. She helps parents move from fear to understanding.Find Clare: https://blindsidedbythought.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blindsidedby/#https://www.instagram.com/clare.assante/#Join Soul Huddles:www.bekaelle.com/coaching#soul-huddles
What this episode covers
In this episode, I sat down with Clare Assante to talk about supporting teens through self-harm, anxiety, and the heavy pressures they face. We explore how parental fear can get in the way, and how understanding thought, feelings, and the body’s signals creates real space for healing.Clare shares practical insights from her work with teens and parents, while we dive into the “bullshit detector,” sitting with uncomfortable feelings, and why allowing emotions to flow (instead of rushing to fix them) is so powerful.Key Topics– Clare’s work with teens & parents– Understanding self-harm– Sitting with feelings & the "bullshit detector"– Roller-coaster analogy– Being grateful for triggers– Parenting: allowing kids to feel their feelings– Parental fears of judgmentWhat Resonated MostUncomfortable feelings are often just a signal we’re believing scary thoughts — not that something is wrong.The same sensation can feel like fear or excitement depending on the story we attach.Our urge to “fix” our kids’ discomfort is often more about our own anxiety than their needs.Triggers are gifts that show us where we’re not yet free.Guest BioClare Assante coaches teens and their parents through self-harm, anxiety, and life pressures. She helps parents move from fear to understanding.Find Clare: https://blindsidedbythought.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blindsidedby/#https://www.instagram.com/clare.assante/#Join Soul Huddles:www.bekaelle.com/coaching#soul-huddles
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ep172: understanding self-harm, ft. clare assante
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