Episode 10: Conversation with Ms. Bukola Olode on Domestic Violence within African Immigrant Community:

When I was in graduate school pursuing my degree in public health and in one of my studies at the time, we look at the diversity of public health issues. I never considered domestic violence a public health issue until we discussed it thoroughly in one of my classes. The teaching exposed us to how domestic violence affects the lives of individuals who experience the violence. During my studies, I learned that exposure to domestic violence could have a traumatic experience, physical impairment, and mental health problems.  Since launching this podcast, I have always wanted to address domestic violence within the African immigrant community. When Ms. Bukola Olode agreed to come on the podcast to educate our community on domestic violence, I was delighted knowing that she is a professional in the field. Bukola Olode LMSW has worked in the field of domestic violence and received several awards for her work as a domestic violence advocate. She obtained her graduate degree in social work from Fordham University in 2004 and has worked with individuals and families as a therapist. Ms. Olode is also a thriving sought-after life coach, motivational speaker, and divorce mediator. She has given several presentations on the issue of domestic violence to various audiences. She resides in New York and New Jersey with her husband and three children.  In this episode, Olode gave a clear definition of domestic violence, and she further explained different types of domestic violence. We talked about the functions of the NYC Department of Domestic Violence and the services they provide to the victim, such as shelter, order of protection, immigration support, welfare benefits, etc. We talked about the primary and secondary victims of domestic violence. We then divert to the African immigrant community and our understanding of domestic violence. As immigrants, we may have a different definition of domestic violence according to our diverse cultural background and religious beliefs or our interpretation of spiritual value. We looked into the African Immigrant communities initial approach in addressing domestic violence, e.g., Approaching religious clergy, elders of the community, or family or relatives. Why is such system may not work, and what can we do to educate our community leaders to reach out to the domestic violence department for help. We talked about the pressure society place on women in carrying the burden of the need to marry and stay married. We clarified on quality vs. quantity of marriage life, and should we stay married for quality or quantity? As I said in my conclusion to this topic, in many cultures globally, a successful marriage is based on longevity and not on quality and growth. The longer you are married, the more honored you are, and marriage is not about inner self-transformation, how evolved and transformed the partner are to each other. The culture guides us, women, into a suffering mindset that says that a successful marriage is built upon sacrifice and compromise, and a woman must conform to that cultural norm. Women are also made to believe it is okay to stay in an unhealthy relationship for the children's sake.  Pánsá Pánsá is normalizing a conversation about domestic violence in our community. As we publicly discuss complex issues within our community, we shred away the stigma associated with these uncomfortable dialogues. Ms. Bukola Olode provides a wealth of knowledge to the audience and members of our community regarding this vital subject on recognizing domestic violence and the services available. She provided quality and extensive advice to Africans in the diaspora dealing with domestic violence or a family member who may be going through such an ordeal. If you or someone you know is experiencing violence, there is a domestic violence 24 hours hotline @ 1-800-942-6906 and there is further information on the website https://www.nyscadv.org/find-help/program-director