Episode 119 - Being Real with B

In the next segment of being real with, we talk to me (B) about my infertility journey, how that all went down, and how I’m feeling now about it.   I understand that not everyone is going to have the same experiences, so I speak strictly from my experience. If you are having a hard time with your fertility journey and you are unable to hear different perspectives, I’d understand if you skipped this one. However, if you are interested in seeing how I went from a 16 year old with the understanding that I may not ever conceive a baby to a 36 year old who has come to terms with the fact that I will never be a traditional mother.   Not only does this or did this bring on a sleuth of self hatred, confusion, anger, sadness but it also really changes how people treat you too. Most often then not, it isn’t on purpose but when you tell others (if you so choose) not everyone welcomes you with open arms.   Specially in this era of gender confusion, try being a women who can’t do what women are designed to do. It’s a mental mess and I’ve worked very hard the past few years to work around those self negative narratives telling me I’m an it. Heck, some in the trans community even use us as their relation to being just the same as real women who can’t conceive. I’m not necessarily offended by that, but please keep infertile women out of your political fight. We have had to go through enough thank you.   This episode is a completely different vibe then you would expect. Of course if you are healing it’s going to be triggering for you, but once and if you can get to space where I am, I hope you will find my stork beautiful and motivational.   That things don’t always work out how you always imagined them but that’s not a death sentence. It’s an obstacle. A journey. A work around. Just like every other experience, it’s an experience.   I choose to see it now as a beautiful messy thing. I’m so gifted that I had a few weeks a few times to be pregnant and that’s gonna be it for me.   Does that mean I can’t be a mom? Fuck no. It just means I’ll have to find another way.   Like all things, it’s figure-outable.   We just need to practice grace, humility, and redirection here. And that’s easy for me to say after 20 years knowing I may not be a traditional mom.   And that’s ok cuz if  I was, chances are, this show wouldn't be here and I wouldn’t have to mother all your asses 😜 KIDDING. Ish.   Any ways Babes, I left it all out there for you in this episode. I didn’t pre read the questions, I just shot from my messy heart.   Please always remember that you have no idea what someone is going thru ugh behind closed doors. Always practice kindness and grace if someone reacts a certain way about something. They could be really hurting.   Really loved being raw and open and positive about such a taboo and negative experience. It has helped me immensely. And I’m always here to talk if you need!!