Episode 12: Dating Icks, Red Flags, and Free Food: The Single Life Survival Guide w/ Kayla Becker and Vanessa Curry

Send us Fan MailRelationships end for countless reasons, but what happens when the person isn't "bad" – you're just fundamentally different? In this deeply personal episode, Kayla opens up about her recent breakup from a year-and-a-half relationship that ended just a week before recording."I'm a professional self-sabotager," Kayla admits while exploring her fearful-avoidant attachment style. Her candid reflection on how childhood trauma – being uprooted frequently, experiencing foster care, and separation from her mother – impacts her adult relationships resonates powerfully. She shares the particular challenge of grieving someone who's still alive but no longer in your life, a unique pain many listeners will recognize.The conversation evolves naturally into dating horror stories (including an awkward Soho House encounter with a date who claimed to be "sick"), green flags to look for, and those little "icks" that can doom a relationship before it starts. Kayla and Vanessa share personal lessons they've learned the hard way, like Kayla realizing she shouldn't date men whose primary goal is becoming a husband and father when she doesn't share those aspirations.Between vulnerable moments come bursts of laughter and wisdom about finding balance between career ambition and personal contentment. "We have big thoughts, big vision, big energy," Vanessa notes, "but those little pieces of gratitude are going to help reform and reshape that mold for you."Whether you're processing your own breakup, navigating the dating world, or simply trying to understand your attachment style better, this episode offers both comfort and clarity. Listen in, take a few cleansing breaths with us, and remember: healing isn't linear, but it is possible.