EPISODE · Jun 10, 2026 · 14 MIN
Episode 123 - How to stop being the person everyone vents to
from Career Espresso
How to stop being the person everyone vents toThere's a queue that forms at your desk that you never advertised for. People bring you the impossible manager, the credit someone took, the meeting that went sideways, and you take it all in because you're the one who listens without making anyone feel small. The trouble is what it costs you. You leave most days wrung out, carrying conversations that were never yours to begin with, while your own work and your own worries sit waiting.This episode of Career Espresso is about how you became the office's unofficial support service, why it falls to women so reliably, and how to stay the warm, trusted one without taking everybody's bad day home with you.What you'll discoverWhy being brilliant to talk to quietly turns into unpaid work, and why being good at it tends to make things worse rather than betterThe reason "just set boundaries" is hollow advice for genuinely kind people, and what to reach for insteadThe one question that lets you be completely there for someone without picking up their problem and carrying itHow to handle the person who's turned you into a daily service, without a big awkward confrontationPerfect for women who are the ones everyone leans on at work, who leave most days carrying other people's weather, and who'd like to stay kind without running on empty.Want more support with real-world leadership challenges? Head to How to Build a Leader on Substack for in-depth guides and scripts.Never miss an episode. Sign up for the weekly Espresso Brief email and get each episode with quick takeaways in your inbox.Get the full episode transcript Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What this episode covers
How to stop being the person everyone vents toThere's a queue that forms at your desk that you never advertised for. People bring you the impossible manager, the credit someone took, the meeting that went sideways, and you take it all in because you're the one who listens without making anyone feel small. The trouble is what it costs you. You leave most days wrung out, carrying conversations that were never yours to begin with, while your own work and your own worries sit waiting.This episode of Career Espresso is about how you became the office's unofficial support service, why it falls to women so reliably, and how to stay the warm, trusted one without taking everybody's bad day home with you.What you'll discoverWhy being brilliant to talk to quietly turns into unpaid work, and why being good at it tends to make things worse rather than betterThe reason "just set boundaries" is hollow advice for genuinely kind people, and what to reach for insteadThe one question that lets you be completely there for someone without picking up their problem and carrying itHow to handle the person who's turned you into a daily service, without a big awkward confrontationPerfect for women who are the ones everyone leans on at work, who leave most days carrying other people's weather, and who'd like to stay kind without running on empty.Want more support with real-world leadership challenges? Head to How to Build a Leader on Substack for in-depth guides and scripts.Never miss an episode. Sign up for the weekly Espresso Brief email and get each episode with quick takeaways in your inbox.Get the full episode transcript Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Episode 123 - How to stop being the person everyone vents to
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