Episode 133: The Value of Self-Loyalty

Devoted, constant, and committed – all my clients would list loyalty as one of their highest values. Loyalty to their mothers, fathers, spouses, kids, friends, work, and the world in general. They are the listeners, supporters, lovers, givers, cheerleaders, and fans. They are the caregivers for their aging parents. They are the backbone of their families, relationships, and workplaces. The dark side of this loyalty to others is the exhaustion, the never-ending to-do list, the never feeling good enough, whole enough, satisfied enough.  The anxiety. All this month we are exploring the unique values of someone with High Functioning Anxiety and how they silently struggle with these values.  Last week we talked with Brittany Berger about anxiety and productivity. This week I am talking about how those of us with HFA value loyalty.   Here is the irony: some of the kindest, gentlest, giving people in the world never quite feel kind, gentle, or giving enough. Want to know why? They are so busy devoting themselves to make sure their family and friends are heard, supported, and cared for they bypass themselves. They have been trained to care for everyone else but themselves.  This is something I have struggled with personally. I love caring for people. I pride myself on my loyalty, I love being there for those closest to me, and I know it has come at a price. A price of exhaustion and stress.  Today I want to talk about how to get off that hamster wheel of stress. Listen to the full episode to hear: When we don't have loyalty to ourselves we are constantly looking outside of ourselves for direction. How the Monger lies to us by saying “take care of everyone else and then you will have peace.” How we can stretch our loyalty to include ourselves and not just others.  Links: Coach in Your Pocket Live Happier Website Instagram: @nancyjane_livehappier --- During the pandemic, I'll be offering a mini version of my Voxer work. Nothing too intense. Nothing too coachy. Just a chance for you to vent, talk about what's most pressing, and have a neutral third party on the phone for right now.  I'm calling it Coach In Your Pocket: Just Checking In Version. Rather than a 3-month commitment to you completeVisit: https://NancyJaneSmith.comLearn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com