The Happier Approach: Quieting your High Functioning Anxiety
by Nancy Jane Smith
A podcast about living with High Functioning Anxiety and building self-loyalty. Join me, Nancy Jane Smith, as I talk about my journey with High Functioning Anxiety. Through my own experience and 20+ years of training as a licensed professional counselor and coach, I have discovered the #1 way to quiet anxiety is self-loyalty. We are so loyal to other people. It is time to learn how to be as loyal to yourself as you are to others. Listen to learn more about quieting your High Functioning Anxiety with self-loyalty.
Episodes
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Wintering: Extended Conversation with Katherine May
We hope you enjoy this super special bonus episode, here to tide you over until our next season begins in a few months. This is my extended conversation with Katherine May, author of the book Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times. We talk about how to get through our…
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Rest For All Seasons
Here it is, our final episode in our season all about rest! Remember in the first episode when Nancy talked to her friend Stephanie Pollock about the seven different types of rest? Well, for our last episode, we're coming full circle and talking to Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith-- the physician…
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High Functioning Anxiety and our Rules for Rest
One thing you should know about people with High Functioning Anxiety-- we love our rules! Even when they don't help us live happy and healthy lives. In particular, I have A LOT of rules around rest. When I can rest, how I can rest, if I've earned the rest I'm taking. You get the idea. In this...
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Rest In Practice
Hey guys! So we're supposed to have a new episode for you today, but as it often does, life happens. And my producer Nicki, well, she's quite sick. So in the spirit of this season on rest, we are practicing what we preach and waiting until the new year to publish our last two episodes of the...
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Rest: Wintering
Have you ever been through a period of your life where you felt like nothing was going right? And during that period, did you think: "Oh my god, what is WRONG with me?? I have to get out of this as fast as I can!!" Well, Nancy's been there. But after talking with Katherine May, author of the book...
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Rest: The Dreaded Napping Experiment
Most people think that napping is great! A little break during the middle of the day. But Nancy HATES naps, with a fiery passion. They don't help her feel refreshed, and she just wakes up feeling yucky. But! She has a sinking suspicion that if she gave the whole napping thing a try her way, then...
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Rest: Vacationing with High Functioning Anxiety
When most people think of vacation, their thoughts are simple: awesome, great, I love to go on vacation, and this will be THE BEST. For people with High-Functioning Anxiety, vacation can be a lot more complicated than that. Resting sounds delightful, but it can cause anxiety to go even higher!...
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Rest: Imagination, Mindfulness, and Rest
Nancy has tried and tried again to be a consistent meditator. Everyone says it's the key to getting rid of anxiety! But the "traditional" ways of meditating that she's tried-- sitting on a pillow for 5 minutes a day thinking about *nothing*-- have NOT worked for her. That's why she got in touch...
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Rest: Sleep
Nothing hits harder over the age of 30 than a bad night of sleep. When Nancy thinks about rest, she automatically thinks about sleep, and how hard it can be to give ourselves the space to actually allow ourselves to get the full amount of sleep we need. Nancy talks about her personal "sleep…
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Intro to Rest
In the first episode of our new season (!) Nancy wades into a topic that's both frustrated and fascinated her over the years-- rest. She grapples with why it's so hard for people like her with HFA to truly rest, and talks with her friend, Stephanie Pollock, about why rest is such a hot topic…
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Change: Dear Nancy
In our final episode of Season 3, Nancy reflects on all the thinking and learning she's done around change this season. She writes a letter to her younger self, looking back on how the big changes in her life have often come at her fast and furious, but always for the better. Then Nancy checks in...
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Change and Comparison
In this episode Nancy reveals that she's *always* had a business nemesis. A person that she compares herself to when she feels like things aren't going great. And that really gets her Monger AND her BFF going at it! Nancy tells the story of how she confronted this comparison behavior head-on and...
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Change and the BFF
In this episode, Nancy shares a relatable tale: her struggle to stay off social media. She made that change a while ago, but her BFF is always gunning for her to get back on. Especially when a really special opportunity presents itself... In this episode, we hear an exclusive interview between...
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Change in the Body
In this episode Nancy shares the story we've all been waiting for... a little tale about a rogue Segway. But it's actually about a lot more than that. The Segway story brings Nancy to think about how she's viewed her body over the years, and the way that changes around our physical self can be...
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Change in the Emotion Ocean
Nancy talks to a leading psychologist and expert in emotions, who tells her all about how our emotions can help us create change in our lives. She learns about the kind of self-reflective emotions-- like pride, jealousy, and embarrassment-- that can be a real challenge to untangle. Then she…
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Believe in Change
In this episode, Nancy talks to an expert in creativity, who had to reevaluate her whole life and career when everything fell apart, then re-learn what she valued as she rebuilt her life from the ashes. But first, she tells us a story that illustrates some entrenched beliefs she had about herself...
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Change in the Brain
In honor of my new course Self Loyalty School, this season we are looking at how to make change. In this episode, Nancy learns how hard it is to form habits and goals all from a psychologist and neuroscience expert! She tells us about her journey to accept her new physical limitations in her...
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But Can I Change?
In the first episode of our new season, Nancy brings us on a personal journey of change through self-loyalty. She describes how she embarked on the most self-loyal year she's ever had, both in her business and her personal life, which culminated in the creation of Self Loyalty School. Nancy…
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Bonus Episode: The Time I Hired a Matchmaker
In this extra-special bonus episode, Nancy tells a super personal story of self-loyalty with appearances from the Monger, the BFF, and finally, the Biggest Fan. She describes how she created her new course: Self Loyalty School. She tells us how you can start looking to the inside rather than to...
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Square Peg
In this episode, Nancy recounts a story of a moment where she didn't feel like she fit in her surroundings at all, but was able to find a very solid moment of connection with her inner voice of self-loyalty. Nancy shares a conversation with her childhood pastor, and friend, Gary Ritts. Gary tells...
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Spiraling Up
This episode traces a familiar circle, pun intended! Nancy explores the idea of "spiraling" through a personal story about living the same lessons about high functioning anxiety over and over again. Then, she talks to movement educator and expert on the mind body connection, Jenn Pilotti, about...
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Anti-Gratitude
In this episode, we tackle a subject that Nancy has VERY strong opinions about. Gratitude. People with High Functioning Anxiety tend to use the idea of gratitude as a way to wipe away the pains and sorrows of life. But that isn't very effective and can end up making us feel worse. Nancy talks to...
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All the Feels
In this episode, we learn all about feelings. How they show up in our brains and in our bodies, and how they can affect the way we interact with the world around us. With High Functioning Anxiety the LAST thing we want to do is acknowledge what we are feeling. Nancy tells us about trying to…
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The Biggest Fan
In this episode, we'll learn about the final character in the Happier Approach cast-- the wise, self-loyal, and sometimes elusive, Biggest Fan. The Biggest Fan always is the key to quieting High Functioning Anxiety. She has your back, but that doesn't mean that listening to her is easy. Nancy...
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The BFF
In this episode, we get close and personal with another central character in the Happier Approach: the overindulgent BFF. The BFF has good intentions-- she's often jumping in to argue with the Monger when that mean voice of self-criticism gets too loud. But the BFF can push us over the line from...
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The Monger
In this episode, we take a trip into Nancy's brain and learn all about her inner self-critique. The voice that tells her every day that all the things she's doing just aren't good enough. Nancy calls that voice The Monger. The Monger is at the root of why Nancy started on her quest to quiet her...
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Hi I'm Nancy
In this episode, the first of our new season, we go back to the beginning to learn how The Happier Approach all started. This is a great episode to listen to if you're just learning about the podcast. If you're a longtime listener, you'll get the in-depth story of how Nancy started her journey...
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New Season Trailer
Trailer for the new season of the Happier Approach. Starts May 7th! Visit: https://NancyJaneSmith.com Learn More About Self Loyalty School: https://selfloyaltyschool.com
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Practicing Self-Loyalty in the New Year - Part 2
The beginning of any new year often hyperactivates our “Shoulds.” I should lose weight. I should start meditating more. I should be kinder to myself. I should put myself out there more. I should, I should, I should. I am no stranger to the Shoulds that my Monger promotes every new year. Like...
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Episode 164: Practicing Self-Loyalty in the New Year - Part 1
For years, the month of December was my month of debauchery. My BFF (the voice of false self-compassion) ran the show. After months of being told what I “should” do by my Monger in December, I could throw all the rules out the window. December was the one month out of the year that I gave myself...
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Episode 163: Lou Blaser and the Performative Nature of High Functioning Anxiety - Part 2
Anyone with High Functioning Anxiety knows what I mean when I talk about the Swan Effect. It basically boils down to the feeling of being so on top of it and accomplishing everything we set our sights on… compared to the overwhelm and exhaustion that we feel under the surface that no one can see....
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Episode 162: Lou Blaser and the Performative Nature of High Functioning Anxiety - Part 1
Well, we made it to 2021! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season. I know I’m excited to be back at the podcast after a short break. One of the most challenging aspects of High Functioning Anxiety is the Catch-22 of the positive affirmations you receive for being so on-it and accomplishing so...
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Episode 161: Experimenting with Meditation and Mindfulness - Part 2
About a month ago, I challenged myself to a month of practicing meditation. As I shared in Part One of this series, I didn’t have a consistent meditation practice prior to this experiment. In fact, I was pretty resistant to it in the first place. (Be sure to go back and listen to this episode if...
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Episode 160: Successfully Navigating Decision Fatigue, COVID, and the Holidays with Michelle Florendo
As if navigating the holidays wasn’t already hard enough, 2020 has turned our holiday traditions on their head. In my family, we’re making some tough decisions about the holidays, and emotions are running high. We’ve already canceled our traditional Thanksgiving trip to Chicago to visit my aunt,...
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Episode 159: A Weekend in the Life of High Functioning Anxiety
For many of us with High Functioning Anxiety, we have a hard time noticing when we are anxious. Our anxiety is usually swimming around in our heads WELL before we consciously notice it. For me, I can say I’m fine, I’m not feeling anxious then poof—I explode at my husband for leaving something out...
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Episode 158: What is Self-Compassion with Gary Ritts
The self-help industry is FULL of concepts that are meant to inspire you into a better version of yourself—go big or go home, love yourself, rewrite your past—but what happens when they’re overused and lose all their meaning? How can they then motivate you to live happier and more fulfilled? And...
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Episode 157: Unhooking the Lie that You Need to be Mean to Yourself
For those of us with high functioning anxiety, the voice of our inner Monger is loud. It’s the voice that tells us we’ll never succeed. It’s the voice that tells us we’re an imposter and we’re mere moments away from being found out. It’s an internal voice of belittling and nastiness. It...
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Episode 156: What Is Happy?
What is happy? This is a loaded question—but it’s something I want to explore in this episode because happiness is the #1 thing my clients say they want. But how do we get to happiness? What is the path there? Lately, I’ve been on a quest to go deeper. To ask questions. To get clear. In episode...
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Episode 155: Experimenting with Meditation and Mindfulness - Part 1
I don’t have a meditation practice of my own. In fact, I’m pretty resistant to it. I have a lot of rules around meditation and I’m pretty rigid in how I think about it. But, with all the stress in the world recently and my own anxiety, I thought it might be helpful to revisit meditation....
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Episode 154: How to Be the Caretaker of Your Own Radical Personal Empowerment and Self-Love with Amy E. Smith
How often are you apologizing, regardless if you hurt someone or if the situation truly necessitated an “I’m sorry”? People-pleasing includes a lot of apologizing, and it doesn’t always express what we really mean which, sometimes, isn’t so much I’m sorry as it is I’m so thankful. I used to say…
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Episode 153: How the Conventional Happiness Formula Is Keep Us Stuck with Kim Stobel
Frequently we will ask ourselves—why am I unhappy? But the key component is the question underneath the question. What is making you unhappy? Or better yet, what would you know if you were happy? A friend, former guest, and storytelling expert, Hillary Rea, shared that it might come down to…
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Episode 152: Therapy: Committing to Doing it Differently with Riva Stoudt
I didn’t always know I wanted to be a therapist. It took me a while to ADMIT it out loud that I wanted to be a therapist (I was 34 before I got my license). I honestly have a love-hate relationship with the world of therapy and psychology. It endlessly fascinates me—and yet the industry as a…
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Episode 151: How We Store Trauma In Our Bodies with Sarah Dionne
For those of us with anxiety, it’s pretty common to go into research mode and ask ourselves: why am I feeling this way? And if you already enjoy thinking, analyzing, and solving problems like me, well, then thinking and researching why you’re anxious is your go-to pattern. When I was writing my...
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Episode 150: How to Let Go of the Past
Your past matters—even though the personal growth industry is obsessed with the future you at the expense of the past you. In that world, the only real change and movement in your life come from looking forward, setting goals, and just doing it as I talked about in Episode 148. But I believe that...
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Episode 149: How To Recognize Trauma and Show Up for Our Inner Kiddo with Nicole Lewis-Keeber
Trauma. This word is loaded for so many of us. When we think of trauma, we think of what we call Big T Traumas: images of war, combat, natural disasters, physical or sexual abuse, terrorism, or catastrophic accidents usually come to mind. There are also Little T Traumas. These are often…
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Episode 148: The Adventure of Fully Showing Up As A Human Being
Go big or go home. Dream big! Do big things. That’s what all the self-help gurus and Pinterest tell us to do. But is it really the answer? We can all think of a time where we thought that going big—moving somewhere new, going after that new career, or buying the awesome house or car—would be the...
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Episode 147: How to Get Out of Your Own Way and Get What You Want with Sarah K. Peck
Have you been feeling a bit stuck lately, wondering what comes next? Saying to yourself that there has to be more? If so, you’re not alone. That’s because I’ve been asking myself these questions lately, too. I’ve noticed that whenever I’m in this place for too long, it usually means I’m looking…
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Episode 146: Embracing a Life of Imperfection and Acceptance
Does this sound like you? Your to-do list is a mile long—yet, logically, there’s no way you could complete it; you drive yourself so hard, pushing, hustling, head down working toward a goal—and beat yourself up when you don’t reach it. You might even sacrifice sleep and your own well-being in...
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Episode 145: How Embracing Your Humanness Can Lead to More Success with Tara McMullin
Being human is messy and imperfect—and, we’re bound to make mistakes. It’s part of the deal. We’re not going to get everything right, every time. But we learn as we go. That’s what being human is all about. For some, being human—the messiness of it—is totally anxiety-provoking. It makes things…
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Episode 144: How to Avoid Passing Your Anxiety on to Your Kids with Renee Mattson - Part 2
There is so much pressure to be the perfect parent. My clients tell me all the time that they consistently feel they have to be “perfect” and be all the things to their children. That anxiety infiltrates everything they do—and that anxiety can also impact their children. One thing we can do to...
About this show
A podcast about living with High Functioning Anxiety and building self-loyalty. Join me, Nancy Jane Smith, as I talk about my journey with High Functioning Anxiety. Through my own experience and 20+ years of training as a licensed professional counselor and coach, I have discovered the #1 way to quiet anxiety is self-loyalty. We are so loyal to other people. It is time to learn how to be as loyal to yourself as you are to others. Listen to learn more about quieting your High Functioning Anxiety with self-loyalty.
Hosted by
Nancy Jane Smith