Episode 164 – Ego and Persuasion

Kurt and Steve start this episode by discussing how we can achieve effective presence as a persuader.  Kurt also laments the end of boating season.  They then continue their discussion about dealing with difficult people...specifically delving into low self esteem. One easy way to boost someone's esteem is to offer sincere, genuine thanks.  Show a little gratitude for what they have done or even will do.  Never assume that they know how much you care or appreciate them.  Many leaders feel that the paycheck is enough to show thanks.  Sure most people like the money, but if you look at the complaints of people in the workplace, the top 5 are all esteem and ego related, not money related.  These people will either leave the company or do just the minimum at their job.  One of the main reasons you see dissatisfaction in the workplace is because they were never thanked or given any recognition for their efforts.  At first it might seem a bit unnatural to use thanks and gratitude, since of most of us have not experienced an environment where doing so was common, but it's worth the energy and effort.  Praise not only is the right thing to do, but gives them sense of job security. It is important to be able to read people and understand the signals of low self esteem.  It might be the opposite of what you think.  It could be bullying, always having to be right, gossiping, quick to take offense, or resentment of others.   Charismatic people have the ability to read these signs and enhance their self esteem.  There has always been a link between esteem and performance.  Boosting their esteem increases their confidence, they have better attitudes and they perform better.  I am not saying you can never say anything negative or critical.  I just want you to be aware that one negative comment has more emotional impact than ten positive comments.  Just keep in mind that the use of praise affects us to the very core, so use it properly.