Episode 17 - Okay on the Outside, Anxious on the Inside

Even when life looks “fine” on the outside, the body may still be carrying years of unresolved stress. If we don’t pay attention to the body’s signals, we may: Keep trying to think our way into peace Judge ourselves for feeling tired or overwhelmed Miss early signs of burnout or anxiety But when we learn to notice and respond to the nervous system with kindness, something powerful happens: The body relearns safety.  It learns what it means to be safe And the mind follows.     The turth is…The body is not stubborn. It’s responsive. It has been protecting you the best way it knows how. And when you give it gentle, consistent signals of safety, it remembers how to rest.     Many women try to calm anxiety by correcting thoughts—and while that matters, it’s often not the first step. If the body still feels unsafe, the mind will keep scanning for danger. This is why you can know everything is okay… but still feel anxious. The order matters: Body first Then the mind follows This isn’t a lack of faith. It’s how we were designed.   So how do we help the body:??   Let’s talk amoment about The Power of Breath One of the most effective ways to calm the body is through slow, gentle breathing. Research has shown that extending the exhale—even slightly—activates the parasympathetic nervous system. This tells the body: “You’re safe now.” You don’t need to breathe deeply or perfectly. Just try this: Inhale gently through your nose Exhale slowly through your mouth Let the exhale be a little longer than the inhale Even two to three minutes of this kind of breathing has been shown in studies to reduce heart rate, muscle tension, and feelings of panic. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing…Breath is always available. It’s one of the body’s most faithful anchors.   Grounding Through Touch and Sensation Another powerful way to calm the nervous system is grounding through the senses. This might look like: Placing a hand over your heart Resting a hand on your stomach Light tapping on the arms or legs Feeling your feet on the floor Studies in somatic psychology show that intentional touch helps the brain register safety and presence. You might quietly say a word like: “Here.” “Safe.” “Release.” These aren’t magic words. They’re signals telling it to relax because all is well.   For a Nervous System Reset Creativity is one of the most effective—it’s a fun and gentle—way to calm the body. Research published in journals such as Art Therapy and Psychology of Aesthetics consistently shows that engaging in creative activities can lower stress hormones and increase feelings of calm and focus. And here’s the beautiful part: 👉 Skill does not matter. Coloring. Painting. Collage. Simple mark-making. The nervous system responds to rhythm, repetition, and presence—not perfection. Even five minutes of creative engagement can begin to shift the body out of stress mode. This is why creativity feels soothing Story I was told of a woman who had a very stressful job…which caused her anxiety to spike every afternoon. Nothing specific triggered it. It was simply the weight of the day catching up with her body. Instead of pushing through or analyzing the feeling, she began keeping art supplies nearby. When the anxiety rose, she paused, grabbed a marker or crayon and colored simple shapes.  The goal was not to create a piece of art….it was an exercise to disengage her sympathetic (stress) system.  To give her body a moment to calm and feel safe and her mind to process all the emotions built up throughout the day.   Over time, the anxious episodes didn’t disappear—but they became shorter, and less overwhelming. Her body learned something new: “I can come back to calm.”  Her job was very stressful…but she learned how to navigate the stress by taking a few minutes to reset and calm rather than letting the stress build up and begin to control her.   One thing research consistently shows is that avoidance strengthens fear. When we avoid sensations of anxiety, the nervous system learns that those sensations are dangerous. But when we gently stay present—without fighting, judging, or rushing—the body learns resilience. You’re not trying to like the feeling. You’re teaching your body that it can move through it. This is how confidence grows—not through control, but through trust.   A Gentle Practice Invitation Right now, if you’re able, pause. Place one hand somewhere that feels comforting. Take a slow breath in… and a longer breath out. Notice your body. You don’t need to fix anything. Just let your body know: That you are safe and “You’re allowed to rest.”  I always taught my clients that when their body understands that it is safe to let down the guard and let an emotion go…they might start to yawn for no reason.  This yawn was their body releasing the buildup of stress.   So in Closing Peace doesn’t begin in the mind alone. It begins when the body feels safe enough to let down its guard. As you practice calming the body, you may notice that clarity returns… thoughts slow… and anxiety loosens its grip. Your body is not your enemy. The body is your companion. It gently communicates what’s happening beneath the surface—often revealing mental and emotional strain through physical symptoms. And with a little attention and gentle care, it will remember peace. 🌿