Real Positive Change: Creative Renewal for Women

You want to be creative, but you are tired of looking for ideas of what to create.  Maybe you time is limited and you would love having a place that you could choose classes from painting to journal making.  Take a moment and click on over to https://cathyfreemanart.com.  Coming up with ideas of what to create will never be a problem again.  In My Art Sisters, I provide new online classes every month.  Classes are easy to access and always available for our art members.   Take a moment and visit our site.   One of the greatest emotional struggles many people quietly carry is the fear of disappointing others. We do not always call it people-pleasing. Sometimes we call it: being nice , being helpful being easygoing being loving being selfless But underneath it can often be something much deeper: a fear of rejection a fear of conflict a fear of being misunderstood a fear of losing connection a fear of not being loved And what makes this difficult is that many people who struggle with people-pleasing are genuinely kind-hearted people. They care deeply. They are compassionate. Empathetic. Sensitive. Helpful. But somewhere along the way, the nervous system began associating approval with safety. “If everyone is happy with me… then I’m okay.” “If no one is upset with me… then I’m safe.” “If I keep the peace… then I will feel secure.” And because of that, boundaries can feel terrifying. Honesty can feel dangerous. Even simple words like: “No.” “I can’t.” “That doesn’t work for me.” “I need rest.” can create anxiety inside the body. Tightness in the chest. Guilt. Panic. Overexplaining. Fear. Second-guessing. Why? Because the nervous system interprets disapproval as emotional danger. And this is important to understand: People-pleasing is often not simply a personality trait. It is a learned survival strategy. Many people learned early in life to stay emotionally useful. And what I mean by emotionally useful is this: You became highly aware of other people’s emotions. You learned how to: keep the peace avoid conflict comfort others manage tension make life easier for everyone else Maybe being helpful earned approval. Maybe staying quiet avoided criticism. Maybe caretaking created connection. Maybe keeping everyone emotionally comfortable helped you feel secure. So your nervous system slowly built an internal equation: “If people are pleased with me, then I am safe.” But eventually this creates exhaustion. Because you begin carrying everyone else emotionally while quietly abandoning yourself. And this is where resentment often appears. Not because you are selfish. But because the soul can only override its own truth for so long before it becomes emotionally exhausted. And this is where Christ-centered living changes everything. Because healing people-pleasing is not about becoming harsh, selfish, or uncaring. It is about shifting whose approval defines you. When our identity becomes rooted primarily in other people’s reactions, emotions, or opinions, we become emotionally unstable because human approval constantly changes. People are inconsistent. Emotional. Imperfect. Distracted. Sometimes wounded themselves. One day they approve of you. The next day they may misunderstand you. If your peace depends on constant approval, your nervous system will remain trapped in emotional hypervigilance. Always scanning: “Are they upset?” “Did I disappoint them?” “Do they still love me?” “Should I fix this?” “What do they think about me?” That is exhausting. But Christ-centered living slowly teaches the nervous system a different truth: My worth is not determined by human approval. When your heart becomes anchored in Christ instead of approval, something powerful begins happening internally. You stop needing every person to validate you in order to feel okay. Not because you stop caring about people. But because your identity becomes steadier. You begin realizing: I can disappoint someone and still be loved by God. I can set boundaries and still be kind. I can say no without becoming selfish. I can be honest without being cruel. I do not have to abandon myself to maintain temporary peace. That is emotional freedom. And honestly, this work is deeply spiritual because so much of people-pleasing is rooted in fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of conflict. Fear of abandonment. Fear of losing connection. Fear of being “bad.” But scripture repeatedly reminds us: God did not create us to live enslaved to fear. Christ-centered living helps calm the nervous system because it moves us from: “What will everyone think of me?” to: “Am I walking in truth, wisdom, honesty, and love?” That shift changes everything. Now this does not mean boundaries suddenly feel easy. Your nervous system may still react. You may still feel guilt when saying no. You may still feel anxiety when disappointing someone. You may still feel uncomfortable when someone misunderstands you. But now you begin learning how to sit with that discomfort instead of immediately abandoning yourself to remove it. That is growth. Because emotionally mature boundaries often feel uncomfortable before they feel peaceful. Especially for those who spent years overfunctioning emotionally. And this is where we must learn to calm the nervous system spiritually and physically. When you feel the urge to people-please: pause. Breathe slowly. Pray before reacting. Sit quietly with God before immediately fixing everything. Allow the nervous system to settle before responding emotionally. Ask yourself: “Am I acting from love… or from fear?” “Am I helping because I genuinely want to… or because I’m afraid of disappointing someone?” “Am I seeking peace… or am I avoiding discomfort?” Those questions create awareness. And awareness interrupts automatic patterns. This is also where creativity can become deeply healing. Instead of spiraling mentally: paint journal collage stitch write prayers sit with color and quietness Creativity helps regulate the nervous system because it slows the mind and reconnects the body to the present moment. And often when the nervous system calms, clarity returns. One of the healthiest truths a recovering people-pleaser can learn is this: Someone else’s disappointment is not always an emergency. That sentence can feel shocking at first. Especially if your nervous system has spent years trying to keep everyone emotionally comfortable. But Christ never called us to live controlled by fear of human reaction. He called us to live rooted in truth, wisdom, love, peace, and obedience to God. And sometimes obedience requires honesty. Sometimes it requires boundaries. Sometimes it requires disappointing people. Even Jesus disappointed people. Not because He lacked love… but because truth and love are not the same thing as constant approval. That realization is incredibly freeing. Because Christ-centered living is not about becoming emotionally hard. It is about becoming emotionally steady. Gentle without collapsing. Kind without self-erasure. Loving without losing yourself. Honest without guilt controlling you. And perhaps one of the most healing things your nervous system can slowly learn is this: I do not need everyone’s approval to be secure. I am already loved by God. And when that truth becomes deeply rooted inside the heart, people-pleasing slowly begins losing its power. Not overnight. But one honest boundary… one truthful conversation… one peaceful no… one surrendered fear at a time. And maybe that is what true freedom really looks like. Not becoming less loving. But finally becoming free enough to love others without abandoning yourself in the process.

Ready for some creative guidance?   Visit my website:  https://realpositivechange.com One of the hardest emotional experiences we face is disappointment in relationships. Especially when we have been the giver. The encourager. The helper. The listener. The dependable one. The one who shows up. And then one day…we find ourselves needing support too. We need someone to check on us. To comfort us. To notice us. To emotionally show up for us. But instead, we feel alone. And that disappointment can feel incredibly painful because it touches something much deeper than the moment itself. It can awaken feelings of rejection, abandonment, invisibility, or being emotionally unimportant. What is fascinating is that often the greatest suffering does not come only from what happened… It comes from what our mind begins to make the situation mean. Our thoughts are powerful. Because thoughts create emotions. Emotions drive reactions. And reactions create results. So when someone disappoints us, the first thing we often do is create a story. Maybe the story sounds like this: “They don’t care about me.” “I always give more than I receive.” “No one is ever there for me.” “I must not matter.” “If I mattered more, they would show up differently.” Now notice what those thoughts create emotionally. Hurt. Resentment. Loneliness. Anger. Bitterness. Sadness. And once those emotions build, they begin driving our reactions. Maybe we withdraw emotionally. Maybe we become cold. Maybe we overexplain ourselves. Maybe we people please even harder hoping to finally receive love back. Maybe we shut down. Maybe we spiral into overthinking. Maybe we emotionally eat. Maybe we replay conversations in our head all night long. And eventually those reactions create results. Distance. Miscommunication. Exhaustion. Emotional instability. More hurt. More disappointment. Which leads us to an important question: Is the reaction creating the result we actually wanted? Because most of us do not truly want disconnection. We want comfort. We want understanding. We want closeness. We want peace. But when our thoughts become painful, our reactions often move us farther away from the very thing we hoped for. This is why learning to manage our mind matters so much. Now this does not mean we pretend we are not hurt. It does not mean our needs are wrong. It does not mean we should tolerate unhealthy behavior. And it certainly does not mean we should never communicate our needs. But it does mean this: Our emotional peace cannot fully depend on another person behaving exactly the way we hoped they would. That realization can feel uncomfortable at first because many of us unconsciously believe: “If they would just change, then I could finally feel okay.” But emotional maturity begins when we realize that our inner stability cannot be handed over to someone else’s behavior. There is a space between what someone does and what we decide it means. And that space is where emotional freedom begins. For example: Someone forgets to call. One interpretation might be: “They do not care about me.” Another interpretation might be: “They may be overwhelmed, distracted, emotionally unaware, or simply different from me emotionally.” Now neither interpretation changes the actual event. But the meaning we assign to the event changes our emotional experience entirely. That is why two people can experience the exact same disappointment and respond completely differently. One spirals into pain and rejection. The other feels disappointed but remains emotionally steady. Why? Because thoughts shape emotional outcomes. Sometimes we unknowingly expect other people to love exactly the way we love. But not everyone has the same emotional capacity, awareness, communication style, or emotional maturity. Some people were never taught how to emotionally support others. Some people avoid emotions altogether because they never learned how to sit with discomfort. Some people are emotionally exhausted themselves. Some people genuinely care but express love differently. And yes…some people simply do not have the depth we hoped for. Understanding this does not erase disappointment. But it helps us stop personalizing every painful experience. Because when we personalize everything, we begin tying our worth to another person’s response. And that becomes emotionally dangerous. One of the healthiest things we can learn is this: Someone else’s inability to fully support me does not define my value. That is such an important truth. Because when disappointment hits, our brain often moves quickly toward self-protection. We either: attack ourselves attack the other person or try harder to earn love But peace is found in slowing down before reacting. This is where creativity becomes such a beautiful tool for emotional regulation. Instead of immediately reacting from hurt… pause. Paint the emotion. Journal the thought. Create a collage around the feeling. Tear paper instead of tearing yourself apart mentally. Sit quietly with color and movement. Allow your nervous system to settle before deciding what the situation means. Because when emotions are high, clarity becomes low. Our brain moves into protection mode. And protection mode often exaggerates fear, rejection, and abandonment. But creativity helps bring us back into the present moment. It gives the mind space to breathe. And once the nervous system calms, we can ask ourselves better questions. “What am I making this mean?” “Is this thought helping me?” “What result will this reaction create?” “Is this response moving me toward peace or farther from it?” “What would emotional steadiness look like right now?” That does not mean we never have hard conversations. Sometimes boundaries are necessary. Sometimes communication is needed. Sometimes relationships truly are unhealthy. But emotionally healthy responses come from clarity…not emotional chaos. One of the most powerful things we can say to ourselves is: “I am disappointed, but I do not want my thoughts to create more suffering than the situation already has.” That sentence alone can change so much. Because often the original disappointment hurts… but then our mind adds layer after layer after layer. Future fears. Old memories. Worst-case scenarios. Rejection stories. Self-worth questions. And suddenly the pain becomes much bigger than the original moment. This is why learning to observe our thoughts is life changing. Not every thought deserves agreement. Some thoughts are simply fear talking. Some are old wounds talking. Some are exhaustion talking. Some are unmet childhood needs resurfacing. And when we learn to slow down and question those thoughts, we create space for emotional stability. The goal is not becoming emotionless. The goal is becoming emotionally aware. It is learning how to feel disappointment without becoming consumed by it. It is learning how to say: “That hurt me…” without turning it into: “I am unlovable.” It is learning how to acknowledge: “I wish they had shown up differently…” without concluding: “I have no worth.” That is emotional growth. And honestly, this work takes practice. Especially for those of us who are naturally nurturing, giving, sensitive, and emotionally invested in relationships. Because caring deeply is not weakness. But when our emotional wellbeing becomes fully dependent on how others respond to us, we begin losing our stability. True peace begins when we realize: I cannot control another person’s actions. But I can learn to guide my thoughts, calm my nervous system, and choose my response. That is where our power truly is. And perhaps one of the most freeing realizations of all is this: Not everyone will love us the way we hoped. Not everyone will show up the way we would show up. Not everyone has the capacity we wish they had. But we can still choose emotional steadiness. We can still choose wisdom over reaction. And maybe that is what emotional maturity really is. Not becoming hard. Not shutting down. Not pretending we do not hurt. But learning how to remain grounded without losing our softness, even when disappointment comes. And this is where creativity can become powerful too. Instead of immediately reacting,  consider these options: paint the emotion journal the thought collage the disappointment sit quietly with the feeling let the nervous system settle before deciding what the situation means Because when the mind calms, clarity often follows. And sometimes the greatest freedom is realizing: Not everyone can love us the way we hoped. The goal is not to stop feeling disappointment. The goal is learning how to feel disappointment without letting it control your identity, your peace, or your reactions.   A healthier response may sound like: “I wish they had shown up differently. I feel hurt. But I do not want my thoughts to create more suffering than the situation already has.” That is emotional maturity. We can still choose how we think, respond, heal, and move forward in every situation..  

When Your Brain Reacts Before You Think   The Moment Between the Two Brains (And Why We Lose Ourselves) When Your Brain Goes Downstairs: People Pleasing, Overeating, and Survival Today I want to go a little deeper into something we’ve been talking about… the upstairs brain and the downstairs brain. And I want to make this really practical today. Because once you start seeing this pattern, you start noticing it everywhere. Not just in big emotional moments… but in small everyday reactions too. Like: over-explaining in conversations people pleasing snapping and then regretting it shutting down emotionally overeating without even feeling hungry scrolling for longer than you meant to or feeling overwhelmed and just needing to escape And what I find so fascinating is this… All of those behaviors are actually connected to the same nervous system response.   The Two Brain Systems (Simple Explanation) So when we talk about the upstairs and downstairs brain, we’re really talking about two systems in the brain working at different speeds.   Downstairs Brain (Survival System) This includes things like the amygdala, the brainstem, and other fast-acting survival structures. And this part of the brain is quick. Very quick. It scans for anything that feels like danger—not just physical danger, but emotional or social danger too. So things like: conflict tone of voice disappointment pressure emotional tension can all register as threat. And the downstairs brain reacts instantly: “Fix it.” “Get out of this.” “Make it better quickly.” “Do something now.” It’s not thinking. It’s protecting.   Upstairs Brain (Thinking + Regulation System) The upstairs brain is mainly the prefrontal cortex. This is the part that helps you: think clearly pause before reacting regulate emotions consider perspective make intentional choices This is your grounded, wise self. The part of you that can say: “Let me slow down here.” “I don’t need to react immediately.” “I can choose how I want to respond.”   The Important Truth: They Work at Different Speeds And this is key… The downstairs brain is fast. The upstairs brain is slower. So in moments of stress, the emotional system often activates first. Before we even think about it. And sometimes it temporarily reduces access to clear thinking. This is often called an amygdala hijack—when the survival system takes over before the thinking system can fully engage. And that’s why it can feel like: “I know better… but I still reacted that way.” That’s not failure. That’s biology.   The Moment Between the Two Brains And here’s what I find really fascinating… There is a moment between the two brains. A small pause. A space. And that space is where everything changes. Because in that moment, you can either: go downstairs into reaction… or stay upstairs long enough to choose your response. But most of us were never taught how to stay in that pause. We were taught to: be polite avoid conflict fix things quickly smooth everything over keep everyone happy not make things uncomfortable So we learned speed over awareness. Reaction over reflection.   What Going “Downstairs” Actually Looks Like And this is where it gets really interesting… Because going downstairs doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like: people pleasing over-explaining apologizing too quickly freezing and going quiet emotional shutdown or needing to fix the relationship immediately And sometimes it doesn’t even show up in relationships. Sometimes it shows up in how we try to regulate ourselves.   The Nervous System’s Search for Relief Because here’s something really important… When the downstairs brain is activated, it is not just trying to think. It is trying to feel better quickly. So it will reach for anything that creates immediate relief. And that’s where we see patterns like: overeating emotional eating scrolling on our phone numbing out with distractions people pleasing over-functioning or staying constantly busy And what’s so important to understand is this: These are not random habits. They are nervous system regulation strategies.   Overeating and the Downstairs Brain Let’s talk about overeating for a moment. Because this is something so many people experience quietly. When the nervous system feels overwhelmed, stressed, lonely, or emotionally full… the downstairs brain starts looking for fast comfort. And food is one of the quickest ways the brain knows how to change how we feel. Because food can: increase dopamine (pleasure chemicals) create soothing sensations temporarily reduce stress and bring a sense of comfort or grounding So the brain learns: “This helps me feel better quickly.” Not because something is wrong with you… but because your nervous system is trying to regulate itself.   And in that moment, the upstairs brain—the reflective part of you—has less access. So instead of asking: “Am I hungry?” “What do I actually need?” “Am I tired or overwhelmed?” the system is just asking: “How do I feel better right now?” That’s downstairs brain thinking. Fast relief.   Why This Is Not About Willpower And I really want to be gentle here… Because this is not a willpower issue. This is not about discipline. This is about a nervous system trying to find relief from internal discomfort. And when we understand that, everything shifts. Because now we’re not asking: “What’s wrong with me?” We start asking: “What am I feeling that I don’t know how to hold right now?”   Why Women Especially Experience This And I think this is especially true for women. Because many women are constantly managing: emotions in relationships family needs expectations emotional environments and internal pressure to keep everything okay So the nervous system becomes highly sensitive to: tension disappointment conflict emotional shifts in others And that can create a brain that goes “downstairs” very quickly. And then tries to restore safety quickly. Through people pleasing… or overeating… or over-functioning… or emotional shutdown. Different behaviors. Same system.   The Real Healing Point: Awareness of the Pause So what actually helps? It’s not eliminating emotion. It’s not never going downstairs. That’s not realistic. The healing point is awareness. Because once you can notice: “Oh… I’m downstairs right now.” You create the possibility of coming back. And that moment—that awareness—is everything.   The Pause Is a Biological Skill That pause between reaction and response is not just emotional maturity. It is your nervous system learning regulation. Because in that pause: your breathing slows your body begins to settle the thinking brain can come back online and you regain access to choice And that’s the goal. Not perfection. Awareness.   Creativity as a Way Back Upstairs And this is where I always come back to creativity. Because creativity naturally slows the nervous system. When you’re: painting collaging journaling working with color and texture your system begins to regulate. And something shifts. You move from reaction… into presence. And in that presence, you start hearing yourself again. Not fear. Not urgency. Not pressure. You. And sometimes in that space, you realize: “I’m more overwhelmed than I thought.” “I’ve been carrying too much.” “I’ve been reacting all day without noticing.” “I actually need something different.” Creativity gives you access to awareness before reaction.   Closing So maybe the question isn’t: “How do I stop reacting?” Maybe it’s: “Can I notice when I’m reacting… just a little sooner?” Because the upstairs brain is not far away. It doesn’t disappear. It just gets harder to access when the downstairs brain is loud. But it always returns through: awareness breath pause presence and sometimes… creativity And from that place… you don’t just react to life. You begin to respond to it.

https://realpositivechange.com   Podcast Title: When Your Mind Won’t Stop: Overthinking DIY Peace in the Present   Intro: Have you ever noticed how your mind can just… keep going? You replay conversations. You think ahead to what might happen. You try to figure things out before they even happen. And before you know it… you’re not in today anymore. You’re somewhere in the future—trying to control something that hasn’t even happened yet. And it’s exhausting. Today, I want to talk about overthinking… why your brain does it… and how to gently bring yourself back to the present—without fighting your thoughts.   Segment 1: What overthinking really is Overthinking often feels like problem-solving. But most of the time… it’s not solving anything. It’s your mind trying to: predict prepare and protect you from discomfort Your brain is asking: “What if this goes wrong?” “What if they respond this way?” “What should I do so this turns out okay?” And it keeps going… because it’s trying to create certainty. But here’s the truth: The future is uncertain. And your brain doesn’t like that. So it keeps talking… hoping if it thinks long enough, it will finally feel settled. But it rarely does.   Segment 2: A real-life example Let me give you a simple example. You send a text… and they don’t respond right away. Your mind starts: “Did I say something wrong?” “Are they upset?” “Should I send another message?” “What if this changes things?” And now you’re no longer just waiting for a response… You’re in a full story your brain created. But what is actually true in that moment? You sent a message. They haven’t responded yet. That’s it. Everything else… is the mind trying to fill in the unknown.   Segment 3: When we create expectations for others Overthinking shows up strongly in relationships. We start to imagine: “They should respond this way…” “They’ll probably say this…” “This is how it needs to go…” And without realizing it, we’ve created a whole expectation. But anytime we set ourselves up for another person to act a certain way… we set ourselves up for disappointment. Because we don’t control their response. And our peace becomes tied to something outside of us.   Segment 4: Using “Story” to calm the mind So how do we quiet that mental chatter? We come back to the present… through story. Not the imagined story of the future… but the true story of right now. Ask yourself: “What is actually happening in this moment?” Right now: I’m sitting here I’m breathing I don’t have all the answers yet and that’s okay This grounds your mind. Because overthinking pulls you into imagined stories… but peace lives in the present one.   Segment 5: Why we keep overthinking Here’s the deeper reason we do this… We’re trying to avoid a feeling. We don’t want to feel: rejected uncertain disappointed out of control So we try to think our way around the feeling. But thoughts can’t remove emotional discomfort. They usually just delay it… or amplify it.   Segment 6: Thought work—choosing your path So what do we do instead? We shift into what I call thought work. You gently tell yourself: “I’m willing to feel whatever comes… even if I don’t like it.” And then: “I have two options here.” And this is important… Neither option is perfect. Both options may come with discomfort. And that’s where most people get stuck— they’re trying to find the option that feels good. But often… 👉 There isn’t one. So instead, you ask: “Which option do I want to choose… knowing I can handle the feelings that come with it?” That’s where your power is.   Segment 7: Making peace with not feeling peaceful Sometimes we’re not trying to solve the situation… We’re trying to feel better right now. We want relief. We want the feeling to go away. But what if the goal isn’t to feel better immediately? What if the goal is to become okay… even when you don’t feel okay? There’s a quiet strength in saying: “I don’t feel peaceful right now… and I’m still okay.” And when you stop fighting the feeling… it often softens on its own.   Segment 8: Another example Let’s say you’re waiting on a decision… Your mind starts racing ahead: “What if it doesn’t work out?” “What will I do next?” “How will this affect everything?” And suddenly you’re living in a future that hasn’t happened. Instead, you come back: “Right now… I’m waiting.” “Right now… I don’t know yet.” “Right now… I am okay.” That’s how you interrupt overthinking.   Segment 9: A guided moment Let’s take a short moment together. Pause. Take a slow breath in… and let it out. Now gently ask yourself: “What is true right now?” Not tomorrow. Not later. Just right now. Let your shoulders soften. You don’t have to solve anything in this moment. You just have to be here.   Segment 10: When we try to change the situation We often think: “If I can just fix this situation… then I’ll feel better.” So we try to control it. But many times… the situation isn’t the real issue. It’s how we feel about it. And when we try to change the situation just to avoid discomfort… we stay stuck in the cycle.   Segment 11: A simple way forward The next time your mind starts racing… Pause. Breathe. And ask: “What is true right now?” Then remind yourself: “I can handle what comes… even if it’s uncomfortable.”   Closing: Your mind isn’t broken. It’s trying to protect you. But it doesn’t need to run ahead to do that. You can bring it back… gently… again and again.   Outro: So today, when your thoughts start to spiral… come back to your story. Not the imagined one… but the one you’re actually living in this moment. Because that’s where your peace begins. And from that place… you can always take your next step.

https://realpositivechange.com When You Lose Yourself Trying to Be Liked Intro: Have you ever walked away from a conversation and thought… “Why did I say that?” “Why didn’t I just say what I really felt?” “Why do I always do that?” Or maybe you find yourself saying yes… when you really mean no. Agreeing… when you actually feel something different. Not because you don’t have thoughts or opinions— but because you don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable… or unhappy with you. It’s exhausting to be the person that everyone wants you to be… trying not to offend anyone… adjusting yourself so everyone else feels comfortable… being what you think will make them happy. Today, I want to talk about something many women experience over time… How trying to be liked… can slowly lead to losing touch with who you really are. And how to gently find your way back.   Segment 1: Is this actually true? Is it true that trying to keep everyone happy can cause you to lose yourself? Yes—but not all at once. It happens quietly. Little by little. You adjust your words. You soften your opinions. You avoid tension. You prioritize everyone else’s comfort. And over time, you stop asking yourself: “What do I actually think?” “What do I actually feel?” “What do I actually want?”   Segment 2: Why do we do this? Most of the time, this comes from a good place. You care about people. You value connection. You want peace in your relationships. But underneath that… there can be a deeper belief: “If everyone is happy with me… then I’m okay.” So your mind begins to link: approval = safety disapproval = discomfort And without even realizing it, you begin shaping yourself around that.   Segment 3: What does losing yourself look like? It doesn’t mean you disappear. It looks more like: second-guessing yourself feeling unsure of your opinions going along with things that don’t feel quite right feeling a quiet frustration you can’t fully explain Because part of you knows: “This isn’t completely me.”   Segment 4: The shift back to yourself Finding your way back doesn’t mean becoming harsh or uncaring. It means becoming honest… in a gentle way. It starts with awareness: “What do I actually feel right now?” “What would I say if I wasn’t worried about how this would be received?” Not that you always say it out loud… But you begin by telling the truth to yourself.   Segment 5: Art can help bring you out of this cycle And this is where art becomes so powerful. Because when you sit down to create… you start to see the pattern show up right there on the page. You gather your materials… you’re ready to begin… and then a thought slips in: “I wonder what I should make that others will like…” And I want you to notice that. That right there… is the same pattern. You’re still in performance mode. You’re still thinking about someone else’s reaction. You’re still adjusting yourself—even in a space that was meant just for you. So let me ask you something gently… What if, just for a moment… you didn’t have to be liked here? What if no one was going to see this? What if there was nothing to get right? Because when you create from the place of “Will this be good enough?” or “Will someone like this?” You’re not actually expressing yourself… You’re managing perception. And that is exhausting.   But something shifts when you begin to step out of that. Not perfectly… just a small step. You pause… you notice the thought… “I’m trying to make something someone would approve of.” And instead of following it… you gently set it down. And you ask yourself: “What do I feel like choosing right now?” Not what looks best. Not what makes sense. Not what someone else would like. Just… what are you drawn to?   Maybe you reach for a color you didn’t plan on. Maybe you tear paper instead of placing it perfectly. Maybe you write a word that feels honest—even if it’s messy. And in that moment, something important is happening. You’re not trying to be liked. You’re not adjusting. You’re not performing. You’re simply responding to what’s inside of you.   And I want you to hear this clearly… That might feel uncomfortable at first. Because if you’re used to being aware of everyone else… turning inward can feel unfamiliar. You might even feel a little exposed… even though no one is watching. That’s how deep this pattern can run.   But if you stay with it… just for a few minutes… you may start to feel a shift. A quiet one. Where your shoulders soften. Your thoughts slow down. And your choices begin to feel more like… you. Not the version of you shaped for everyone else. But the real you.   And this is why art matters. Because it gives you a place to practice being yourself again. Without pressure. Without expectation. Without needing a reaction. Just you… creating something that reflects what’s true for you.   Segment 6: You’re Not for Everyone (and that’s okay) I want to share something that might feel a little uncomfortable… but also really freeing. You’re not for everyone. And I’ll be honest… even saying that out loud has been a journey for me, because I’m a reformed people pleaser. For a long time, I thought: “If I can just say things the right way… if I can just be careful enough… if I can just not offend anyone…” Then everything would feel peaceful. But what I started to realize was this… When I stayed small… when I watered myself down… when I held back parts of who I was in the name of keeping everyone comfortable… I wasn’t just avoiding disconnection. I was also missing real connection. Because yes… maybe you won’t offend anyone… But you also won’t truly connect with anyone either.   Connection doesn’t come from being perfectly agreeable. It comes from being real. From letting people actually see you. And that means not everyone is going to resonate with you. Not everyone is going to understand you. And sometimes… someone might even feel hurt.   Now I want to be clear… I’m not saying it’s okay to be careless or intentionally hurtful. But there is a difference between: being hurtful… and someone feeling hurt. If your intention is honest… if your heart is not to harm… and someone still feels hurt… it may be because something inside of them was already tender. Something your words touched. And that’s not something you can always control.   And this connects right back to your art. Because when you create… you practice showing up without adjusting. Without filtering. Without asking: “Will everyone like this?” You simply ask: “Is this true for me?”   And the more you practice that in your art… the more it carries into your life. You begin to speak a little more honestly. Show up a little more fully. Connect a little more deeply. Not with everyone… But with the right people.   Segment 7: A simple practice Here’s something simple you can try: Sit down with a few materials. Before you begin, ask yourself: “What have I been holding in?” or “What feels true for me right now?” Then create something that reflects that. No fixing. No explaining. No making it pretty. Just let it be yours.   Closing: You don’t lose yourself overnight. And you don’t find yourself overnight either. But every time you choose to turn inward… every time you allow yourself to express something honestly… you come back to yourself, little by little.   Outro: So today, give yourself permission to create something that reflects you. Not what anyone else would expect. Not what anyone else would like. Just you. Because the more you create from that place… the more you begin to remember who you are.

Podcast 30 - The Art of Feeling Better: How Creativity Helps You Feel Happy, Calm, and Clear https://cathyfreemanart.com -  https://realpositivechange.com Take a moment and think back on a time when you had so much going on in your mind that you actually felt scattered. It was hard to keep things straight… you were forgetting things you needed to get done… There was just too much on your mind, and you couldn’t keep it all together. Your emotions were on alert, and you felt a whole lot more impatient. Today, I want to talk about something simple—but powerful. How creating art can actually help you feel happier, calmer, and more like yourself again. Not because you’re making something perfect… but because of what’s happening inside your brain while you create.   The first key point is this: Art Gives Your Mind Space So much of our day is spent thinking. Processing. Reacting. Managing emotions. And when our thoughts stay stuck in our head, they can start to feel overwhelming. But when you begin to create—whether it’s: collage painting journaling It’s like giving your mind a coffee break… you know, that 15-minute step-away moment before you go back and hit it again. Creating gives your mind: a place to slow down… a place to breathe.   Last episode, I talked about our upper brain and our lower brain—or as I like to call it, our upstairs brain and our downstairs brain. Well… Art engages the upstairs brain. When you’re creating, something important happens. Your thinking brain—the part that reflects, makes meaning, and helps you feel steady—begins to engage. How? Instead of reacting, you start observing. For example: Instead of “I’m so overwhelmed, I can’t handle this,” you notice, “I have a lot on my mind right now.” Instead of “Nothing is going right,” you begin to see, “There are a few things that feel heavy today.” Instead of snapping or shutting down, you might find yourself quietly choosing colors, layering paper, or writing a few words—and your mind begins to sort things out without you forcing it. You’re no longer caught in the feeling… you’re gently looking at it. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, you start organizing your thoughts in a visual way. Art helps you move from: reaction → to response.   It’s Not About Talent—It’s About Expression A lot of women believe: “I’m not creative” “I’m not good at art” But this kind of art isn’t about skill. It’s about: expression exploration and giving your emotions somewhere to land You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re simply creating space for what’s inside of you.   Did you know this? Art helps you “make meaning.” Remember earlier when we talked about how your brain assigns meaning to situations? Art gives you a way to see that meaning—almost like looking out a window and watching what’s happening instead of being stuck inside it. When you choose: colors images textures words You’re actually shaping the story you’re telling yourself. Instead of staying stuck in: “This feels overwhelming” You begin to ask: “What does this mean?” “What do I want to hold onto… what is actually beneficial here?” “And what do I want to release?”   Would you like to know what kind of art helps most? The most helpful kind of art is simple and open. Things like: tearing and layering paper in a collage painting without a plan writing a few honest words on the page using color to reflect how you feel It doesn’t need structure. It needs freedom. Freedom to unload what you’ve been carrying.   And while you’re having fun playing with color and paper… art is doing something powerful for your emotions. When you create in this simple way, you may notice: your body starts to relax your thoughts slow down your emotions feel less intense you gain a little more clarity You’re not forcing yourself to “feel better.” You’re allowing your brain to process what’s already there.   I’m going to give you a simple way to start. If you’re not sure where to begin, try this: Sit down with a few materials—paper, glue, markers, or paint. Ask yourself one question: “What am I feeling right now?” Then create something that reflects that feeling. No pressure. No rules. Just let it come out. I love to use collage for this because I’m not worried about drawing anything perfectly… I can just choose images, tear paper, move things around, and let it come together naturally.   Closing: Creating art isn’t just about making something beautiful. It’s about creating space within yourself. Space to think. Space to feel. Space to gently shift from reaction… into response. And in that space, you often find something we’re all looking for: A sense of calm. Clarity. And a quiet kind of joy.   Outro: So today, give yourself permission to create something simple. Not for anyone else. Just for you. Because sometimes, the most meaningful thing you can create… is a little bit of peace within your own mind.

https://www.realpositivechange.com The brain is often described in two parts: The downstairs brain—which is fast, reactive, and emotional.
And the upstairs brain—which is thoughtful, reflective, and steady. Now here’s the key: This isn’t about emotion versus no emotion. It’s about reaction versus response. Your downstairs brain reacts.
Your upstairs brain responds.  What Each Part Does Let’s take a moment and understand what each part does. Your downstairs brain is always asking one question: “Am I safe?” It scans for: rejection disconnection being overlooked anything that feels like a threat to belonging And when it senses something—even something small—it reacts quickly. This is where thoughts can sound like: “I’m alone” “I don’t matter” “I’m not being seen” These thoughts feel true in the moment because they come with emotion. Your upstairs brain, on the other hand, is where you: make meaning reflect choose your words regulate your emotions It’s slower, but it’s wiser. ****** When I say your upstairs brain helps you make meaning, here’s what that really means. Every situation you experience—your brain immediately asks:
“What does this mean about me?” But here’s the important part…
The situation itself doesn’t carry meaning.
You assign the meaning. For example, if someone is distant or unavailable, your first thought might be:
“I’m not important.” That feels true—but it’s actually just one interpretation. Your upstairs brain gives you the ability to pause and ask:
“What else could this mean?” Maybe it means:
“They’re overwhelmed.”
“This is about timing, not my value.”
“I’m feeling disconnected—but that’s not the same as being unimportant.” That’s what it means to make meaning. And from there, you can: reflect on what you’re feeling choose your words more carefully and stay steady instead of reacting.   It’s slower—but it’s wiser. It can say: “Wait… what’s actually happening here?” “Is there another way to see this?” “What do I want my response to be?”   Fear-Based Thinking vs. Faith-Filled Thinking Now let’s talk about something deeper. When your thoughts are fearful, you are often operating from your downstairs brain. Fear-based thoughts are: urgent absolute emotionally charged They say things like: “This always happens” “They don’t care” “I’m not enough” These thoughts are trying to protect you—but they don’t always tell the full truth. So here’s the question: Does faith-filled thinking mean you’re using your upstairs brain? Yes… but not in a simplistic way. Faith-filled thinking isn’t about ignoring emotion. It’s about allowing your upstairs brain to: stay engaged bring perspective anchor you in truth instead of fear Faith sounds like: “This feels hard, but I’m not alone” “There may be more going on than I can see” “I can choose how I respond here” Faith doesn’t shut down the downstairs brain. It calms it.   Why This Matters in Everyday Life Let’s make this practical. Imagine this: Your husband is busy working long hours. Your downstairs brain might say:
“I’m last on the list. I don’t matter.” That feels real. But your upstairs brain can gently step in and say:
“This feels like disconnection… but that doesn’t mean I’m unvalued.” Do you see the difference? One is a reaction.
The other is a response. Or in your business: You’re around people, and you feel exposed speaking about what you do. Your downstairs brain says:
“This is risky. Don’t speak. Stay small.” Your upstairs brain says:
“This feels vulnerable… but sharing something meaningful isn’t dangerous.” Example 1: Friend Doesn’t Reach Out “Have you ever noticed a friend hasn’t texted or called in a while?” Your downstairs brain might say:
“She doesn’t care about me anymore.”
“I must have done something wrong.” That feeling can hit fast—and it feels personal. But your upstairs brain can step in and say:
“Maybe she’s busy.”
“Maybe she’s going through something.”
“This might not be about me at all.” Same situation… different meaning. Example 2: Adult Children Pulling Away “As our kids get older, they naturally become more independent.” But your downstairs brain might say:
“I’m not needed anymore.”
“I’ve lost my place.” That can feel like rejection. Your upstairs brain can gently reframe:
“This means I raised them to stand on their own.”
“My role is changing—not disappearing.” Example 3: Walking Into a Room of People “You walk into a gathering, and no one immediately acknowledges you.” Downstairs brain:
“I don’t belong here.”
“They’re not interested in me.” Upper brain:
“They may not have noticed me yet.”
“I can take a step and engage.”
“I’m allowed to be here.” Example 4: Body Changes / Aging “You look in the mirror and notice changes.” Downstairs brain:
“I’ve lost my beauty.”
“I’m not as valuable as I used to be.” Upper brain:
“My body is changing—and it’s carried me through a lot.”
“My value was never only physical.”
“There’s a different kind of beauty growing here.” Example 5: Husband Distracted or Quiet “He comes home tired, not very talkative.” Downstairs brain:
“He’s distant.”
“He doesn’t want to connect with me.” Upper brain:
“He may be mentally exhausted.”
“This is about his capacity right now—not my worth.”
“I can invite connection instead of assuming disconnection.” Example 6: Being Left Out “You see photos of something you weren’t invited to.” Downstairs brain:
“I was excluded.”
“They didn’t want me there.” Upper brain:
“I don’t know the full story.”
“This may not have been intentional.”
“One moment doesn’t define my relationships.”    How to Apply This Daily.   Here are a few simple ways to practice this in real life: 1. Name where you are
Ask yourself:
“Is this a reaction… or a response?” That alone creates awareness. 2. Don’t fight the feeling—translate it
Instead of saying:
“This is wrong” Try:
“This feels like fear… not necessarily truth” 3. Invite your upstairs brain back in
Ask:
“What else could be true right now?” 4. Pair faith with honesty
Not:
“I shouldn’t feel this way” But:
“This feels hard… and I can still choose how I respond” 5. Take small visible steps
Confidence grows after you act, not before.   “In so many areas of our lives, our downstairs brain is quick to make things personal. But our upstairs brain gives us the ability to pause and choose a meaning that is more grounded, more truthful, and often more compassionate.” Your brain is not working against you—it’s trying to protect you. But it doesn’t always interpret things accurately. So the goal isn’t to eliminate emotional reactions. It’s to notice them… understand them… and gently move toward a thoughtful response. Because when you do that, you’re no longer led by fear. You’re led by intention, truth, and faith.   Next time you feel overwhelmed, pause and ask: “Is this my downstairs brain reacting… or my upstairs brain responding?” That simple question can change everything.

  I’ve realized something really important ....You can either be controlled by your thoughts, or you can create a space so they don’t control you. That one shift changes everything.   I use a very simple framework called STORY.It’s not complicated—it’s just a way of noticing. What’s actually happening What I’m telling myself about it How that makes me feel How I respond And what that creates It’s just helping you see the pattern. Because most of the time… we’re reacting to the story in our mind, not just the situation itself.   I had a moment today that reminded me why this matters so much. I was told about a situation… and almost immediately, I could feel it start. My thoughts shifted.They started going in a negative direction. I could feel the anxiety rise…frustration building…and even a little bit of anger. And right along with that came the urge…to react. To call.To fix it.To clear it up right away. That’s been my pattern for a long time. 🌿 THE SHIFT But today, something was different. I paused. I didn’t immediately react.I didn’t try to fix the situation right away. And I also didn’t try to force myself to think something different. Instead… I just gave my mind a moment to breathe. Instead of trying to force a new thought,I gave my mind something steady to focus on and align with. Visit:  https://realpostivechange.com

https://realpositivechange.com   I was listening to a woman complain about her mother-in-law and how she was not being a good grandmother.    Instinctively the other woman who was also listening,  said something that really caught my attention. She said, “You must have quite the manual on how to be a good grandmother.” She then continued to listen a bit longer,  in which she gently added, “It sounds to me like you both don’t have the same grandmother manual.” I thought that was such a brilliant statement. And that’s what we’re going to talk about today.   When I say the word manual, what comes to your mind? A manual is a guide… a set of instructions… something that tells you how something should be done. And whether we realize it or not— we all carry these kinds of manuals in our minds. Unwritten expectations for how people should show up. How a friend should act. How a husband should respond. How a daughter, a mother, a grandparent should behave. These manuals aren’t written down… but they are very real. Now, you might think having these manuals is a bad thing. But that’s not necessarily true. They’ve been shaped by our past experiences… and often come from a place of love. They help guide how we show up. They help us be thoughtful, caring, and responsible. Our manuals are not the problem. The problem begins when we expect others to follow our manual… Without ever telling them. Without ever asking what their manual says. We start grading people on rules they never agreed to. And in doing that… we take away their agency— their ability to choose how they want to show up in that role. And here’s something important to notice: The emotional impact of this doesn’t really affect them… it affects us. We become frustrated. Disappointment begins to grow. Just like that mother who felt let down by her mother-in-law. And none of us like to sit in those feelings for very long. So what do we do? We begin to withdraw. Quietly… silently… we start putting up walls. We tell ourselves we don’t want to feel this way anymore… and we don’t want to deal with it. And over time, we don’t just feel hurt… we start creating distance.   But here’s the deeper truth, my friend: They aren’t doing it wrong… they’re just doing it differently. Because every person has their own manual— shaped by their story, their capacity, and what that role means to them. Their manual is as unique as their hairstyle… or the way they choose to dress. And I’ll be honest with you— I had my own manual for my husband for the first fifteen years of our marriage. And on the days he didn’t follow it… all heck would break loose. It wasn’t that I wanted everything my way… I just didn’t understand that I had a manual— and that his manual was different than mine. At times, it felt like we were in two different boats… maybe going in the same direction down the river… but completely disconnected. And I remember him saying once, “You’re never happy unless I’m doing things exactly the way you like. I can never seem to please you.” That moment stayed with me. Because something in me knew— something needed to change. And that’s really where my journey began. I started learning more about the mind… how thoughts are formed… how our perceptions shape our emotions and actions. I worked with many individuals over time… but truly, my greatest success story was myself. I began to let go of my manual of the “perfect husband.” I allowed him the space… the grace… to grow and expand in his own way. And when there were things I didn’t like— and talking wasn’t getting us anywhere— I would take it to God in prayer. And I can honestly tell you… either he changed… or I did. But it didn’t matter which one. What mattered was that we found ourselves in the same boat again… heading in the same direction.   So today, I want to invite you into something gentle. Notice your manual. Get curious… instead of critical. Allow space for difference. What if instead of asking, “Why aren’t they doing this right?”— and comparing it to how you would do it— you asked, “What does this role mean to them?” And then gave them the freedom… the agency… to live that out. Because when we release others from our manual… something softens in us too. There’s more room to breathe. More space for peace. And even creativity begins to return. I’ve found that when I step away—just for a few moments— and immerse myself in something simple and creative… everything begins to shift. Because creating with your hands gives your mind a moment to rest. It pauses the judgment. And it opens the door to new thoughts. You begin to ask different questions— “What might their perspective be?” “How do they see this?” And in that space… it becomes so much easier to hear God’s voice.   So I’ll leave you with this: Where in your life might you be holding a manual a little too tightly? Until next time… When you create art, you create calm.

Visit my website:  https://realpositivechange.com Today, I want to talk about something tender, something many of us experience—but don’t always have words for. It’s the feeling that shows up when your child is about to start kindergarten… When you’re sitting at their last high school event… When you’re packing up your home, getting ready to step into something new. But it’s not just tied to big milestones like those. It also shows up in quieter, more personal ways… As we begin to notice we’re getting older. As our roles shift. As our children need us differently. As our energy, our routines, or even our identity begins to change. There’s excitement. There’s pride. There’s even hope. But underneath it all… there’s an ache. A quiet grief. And what you’re feeling has a name. It’s called anticipatory grief.   Anticipatory grief is the kind of grief that comes before a change fully happens. It’s the heart recognizing—sometimes before our mind catches up—that something meaningful is coming to an end. And here’s what’s important to understand: This grief doesn’t mean something is wrong. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It doesn’t mean you’re not excited. It simply means… this mattered to you. Because even the most beautiful changes in life ask something of us. They ask us to let go. Let go of routines. Let go of roles. Let go of moments that once felt ordinary—but now feel incredibly sacred. And as we age, this becomes even more tender… We begin to feel the passing of time a little more clearly. We notice seasons closing that we can’t go back to. We recognize that life is moving forward—whether we’re ready or not. And with that awareness can come a quiet grief… Not because life is losing meaning, but because we’re becoming more aware of just how meaningful it all is.   What’s Happening Emotionally: In these moments, your heart is holding two things at once: Joy for what’s ahead… And sorrow for what’s ending. You might feel: A little more emotional than usual A quiet heaviness you can’t quite explain Moments where you just want time to slow down Or even a deeper awareness of time passing… wanting to hold onto moments just a little longer. And often, we push these feelings away. We tell ourselves, “I should just be happy.” “This is a good thing.” “Why am I feeling sad?” But what if instead of pushing it away… you simply acknowledged it?   Gentle Shift: What if you allowed yourself to say: “This is beautiful… and it’s also hard.” “I’m grateful… and I’m going to miss this.” Because both can exist at the same time. And when you give yourself permission to feel both, something begins to soften inside of you.   Your Creative Practice (Journaling + Collage): This is where I want to invite you into something gentle… something creative… something that helps you process what your heart is holding. Because when we don’t give our emotions a place to go, they tend to stay stuck inside us. So instead, we give them a place to land. Step 1: Journaling – Naming What You’re Carrying Take a few quiet moments and write. You might ask yourself: What am I going to miss about this season? What did this time in my life give me? What feels hard to let go of? You might even gently explore: What feels like it’s changing in me right now? What part of my life or identity is shifting? Let your words be honest. Not polished. Not perfect. Just real. Step 2: Collage – Holding the Season Visually Then, begin to create. Gather images, colors, textures, or words that represent this season of your life. Maybe it’s soft colors that remind you of home. Maybe it’s images that reflect growth, change, or memories. Maybe it’s symbols of who you’ve been… and who you’re becoming. Let your collage hold both: What has been… And what is coming. Because sometimes, your hands can express what words cannot. Collage becomes a way of saying: “This mattered.” “This was real.” “And I honor it.”     Here’s something I want to leave you with: Grief in these moments is not something to fear. It’s actually evidence of a life that has been deeply lived. You don’t grieve what didn’t matter. You grieve what you loved. What shaped you. What became part of your story. And as we grow older, this awareness doesn’t have to make us feel afraid… it can actually deepen our gratitude, our presence, and our connection to what matters most. And when you take the time to honor that… you don’t carry the weight of change in the same way. You carry it with peace.     So if you find yourself in a season of change right now… feeling both joy and a quiet ache… Whether it’s a life transition, or simply the awareness that time is moving forward… Know this: You’re not alone. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re simply standing in a meaningful moment— right between what was… and what’s becoming. And that space deserves to be honored.

🎙️ PODCAST SCRIPT Creative Wellness & Emotional Resilience Have you ever felt stretched so thin emotionally… that you weren’t sure you could bounce back? And have you ever wondered why sometimes you recover quickly… and other times, you don’t?   When I think about emotional resilience, I picture something very simple… A rubber band. You can stretch it… pull it tight… put it under pressure… And when you let go— it returns back to its original shape. That’s what resilience feels like. The ability to come back. To return to a place of peace.   But have you ever stopped and wondered why a rubber band can do that? It works because the material inside— those tiny molecules— act like little springs. They stretch… and then they return.   But over time… those “springs” begin to change. They can: weaken get tangled or even break And when that happens… The rubber band doesn’t snap back the same way. Not all at once. Slowly. It loses its ability to return.   And people can feel that way too. Not broken… just stretched too often, without enough rest.   Now let’s talk about emotions. Emotions are not random. They’re actually made up of three parts: what you feel what happens in your body and how you respond And we could go deep into that… But what I really want to say today is this: 👉 We all have emotions. And they are not something to fear.   Sometimes we’ve been taught that certain emotions are wrong. But in this conversation— we’re not going there. Because emotions are actually very helpful. They are like gauges on a car. They tell you: when something is off when something needs attention when something is overheating And you want those gauges to move. Because they help you take care of what’s going on.   Your emotions work the same way. So don’t ignore them. Don’t stuff them down. Pay attention. They are giving you information about what’s happening inside of you.   Now let’s go back to the rubber band. What causes it to lose its elasticity? There are a few things— but two really stand out: 👉 heat 👉 and repeated stretching   Let’s talk about heat first. Think about emotions like: anger sadness fear shame hopelessness These emotions can build… and build… and build… And if they sit there too long without being processed, they begin to wear you down.   Have you had an elasitic that has sit out in the heat far too long.  And when you go to pull on it to stretch, it snaps?  The heat killed the elasticity.   Then there’s repeated stretching. Life keeps asking things from you. You give. You show up. You carry. And sometimes… you don’t get a chance to reset.   Over time, holding all of that inside has an effect on your emotional well-being.   So how do we monitor these “gauges”? It starts with awareness. Just becoming more observant… more curious about how we are responding to situations. Instead of reacting immediately, you pause and ask: 👉 “What am I feeling right now?” 👉 “Why might I be feeling this?”   Let me give you an example. Have you ever found yourself in what I call the shame/blame trap? A situation happens… and suddenly you feel hurt… or upset. And your thoughts start sounding like: “I can’t believe they did that…” “I didn’t do anything wrong…” That’s the blame side.   But then another voice comes in: “Am I a bad friend?” “Did I mess this up?” That’s the shame side.   And your mind starts trying to solve it. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Whose fault is this? Because your brain doesn’t like how this feels.   So it starts collecting evidence. Building a story. And often… that story leads to anger. Because anger feels stronger than shame. It feels more in control.   But here’s the problem: It keeps you stuck. Nothing moves forward.   So what can you do? First—give yourself a moment. When something is fresh, it’s okay to feel it. We all need space to process.   But then… there’s something really helpful to understand. There are two kinds of pain: 👉 clean pain 👉 and dirty pain   Clean pain is the natural feeling. “I’m sad.” “I’m hurt.” “This matters to me.” It’s honest. It’s real. And it passes.   Dirty pain is everything we add on top. The story. The blame. The judgment. The “this shouldn’t be happening.” It’s the part that keeps us stuck.   So when you’re ready… you can gently ask: 👉 “What is the clean pain here?” Maybe it sounds like: “I’m sad because I care about this relationship.” “I’m hurt because this matters to me.” “I wish this felt different.”   And then… just take one small step toward understanding. Not fixing everything. Just softening.   There’s a powerful idea that says: “The first act of war is defense.” When we defend… we create more conflict. Inside… and outside.   But when we soften—even just a little— something changes. The “heat” starts to come down.   And this works internally too. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is: “Maybe there’s a small piece of truth here.” Not to shame yourself. But to release the tension.   And then… this is where your Creative Reminders come in.   You begin to fill that space with something steady. A truth. A grounding thought. Something like: “I am still learning.” “I can handle this with care.” “I choose peace over proving my point.”   You acknowledge the emotion. You release the heat. And then you gently guide yourself forward.   This is how resilience is built. Not by avoiding emotions… But by: noticing them allowing them and choosing what you return to   Because over time… you strengthen your ability to come back. To reset. To return to peace.   And you don’t have to do this alone. Inside My Art Sisters, this is exactly what we practice together. A simple, creative rhythm that helps you process your emotions, return to steady thoughts, and build real emotional resilience in your everyday life.   ✨ If this spoke to you, I would love for you to join us.

Visit:  https://realpositivechange.com We often believe… “If I could just think better, I would feel better.” But your thoughts are not just passing through your mind. They are shaping how you feel… how your body responds… and even how your brain works. Research shows that when you take time to put your thoughts into words, something begins to shift. Even writing for just 15–20 minutes can: reduce stress help you process emotions and bring more clarity to what you’re feeling But here’s something important— Writing is not the only way this works.   What About Art? Creating art—drawing, painting, even simple marks on a page— can also calm your mind and body. Studies show that creative activities: reduce stress help process emotions and support your overall sense of well-being And sometimes… art works in a way that words cannot. Because: Writing helps you understand what you’re thinking. Art helps you express what you’re feeling. So if you don’t have the words— you are not stuck. You can still begin.   Why This Is So Powerful Your brain naturally looks for what’s wrong. It’s how you’re wired. So when your thoughts start to spiral, it’s very easy to feel overwhelmed. But when you choose a steady thought— and return to it— you begin to gently guide your mind in a new direction. Not by forcing it. But by giving it something better to hold onto. That’s what a Creative Reminder does.   A Simple Way to Practice This You don’t need a lot of time. Just start with this: Choose one simple thought. Write it down. Sit with it for a moment. Then, if you want to— create something around it. It doesn’t have to be good. It doesn’t have to be shared. Just let your hand move. Let color or shape hold the feeling. You can do this in 5 minutes… or 15 minutes… And it can begin to shift your entire day.

Take a hop over to my Website and let me tell you about My Art Sisters:  https://realpositivechange.com Welcome to the Real Positive Change Podcast. I’m your host, Cathy Freeman, and this is a quiet space where art and wellness gently come together… A place where you can take a few minutes to breathe, reflect, and reconnect with your heart. Today, I want to talk about something that so many women experience… but don’t always have words for. Loneliness. Not just being alone… but that deeper feeling that can show up even when life looks full. And I want to begin with this thought: Loneliness is less about physical presence and more about emotional resonance—feeling that someone truly gets you.  That’s what I want to talk about t Because you can sit in a room full of people… family, friends, even those you love… …and still feel lonely if no one is connecting with your heart.     When we hear the word loneliness, we often picture someone physically alone. But that’s not always the reality. Loneliness is not the absence of people. It is the absence of feeling understood. It’s that quiet space inside where you might be: carrying thoughts you haven’t shared holding emotions you don’t know how to express or feeling like if you did share… it wouldn’t quite be received And so you stay quiet. Not because you want to… but because it feels easier than trying to explain something no one else seems to fully feel. That’s what makes loneliness so tender. It’s not loud. It’s not always obvious. It’s often a quiet ache that says: “I wish someone really understood me.”     This is something many women experience, especially caregivers, mothers, and those who are constantly giving to others. You can be: taking care of people showing up for everyone listening, helping, encouraging …and still feel like no one is really seeing you. Because being needed is not the same as being known. Let me say that again: Being needed is not the same as being known. You can be deeply loved… and still feel emotionally unseen. You can be surrounded… and still feel disconnected. Because what the heart longs for is not just interaction… It longs for resonance. That feeling when: you don’t have to explain everything someone understands the emotion behind your words you feel safe enough to just be yourself That is what we are really missing when we feel lonely.     There’s also something important happening beneath the surface. Loneliness isn’t just emotional—it’s physical. When we feel disconnected, the body can move into a subtle stress response. You might notice: feeling more tired than usual a sense of irritability emotional heaviness or even just feeling “off” without knowing why Sometimes the exhaustion we feel isn’t just from what we’re doing… …it’s from what we’re holding inside. Unspoken thoughts. Unexpressed feelings. Moments where we needed to be heard… but weren’t. And over time, that builds up. Not in a dramatic way… but in a quiet, steady way.     There’s another layer to this that many women carry. You are often the one who: notices what others need senses the emotions in the room helps keep things steady and peaceful You are the one who connects others. But who is connecting with you? This is where loneliness can quietly grow. Because when you are always the one giving emotional support… you may not always receive it in return. And not because others don’t care… …but because they may not realize what you’re carrying.     There’s another piece of loneliness that I think many of us don’t always recognize. Sometimes… we’re not just disconnected from people… we’re disconnected from the present moment. Because part of us is still living in the past. Looking back. Replaying. Remembering. And the “rearview mirror” of our life often holds: grief regret loss things we wish had been different moments we didn’t get closure from And when our thoughts stay there for too long… they begin to shape how we feel right now. Grief has a way of quietly whispering: “Something is missing.” And that feeling… can feel a lot like loneliness. Sometimes loneliness isn’t just about who is missing in our life… it’s about what we are still holding onto from our past.    CREATIVE REMINDERS This is one of the reasons I love the practice of Creative Reminders so much. It gently brings you back: back to this moment back to this breath back to this day When you sit down to create—even something small— you are no longer living in the past for those few minutes. You are here. And when you pair that with a simple, life-giving statement, something begins to shift. Examples might be: This is a new day. I am allowed to move forward. There is still good ahead of me. As you create around these words, your thoughts slowly move: from what was… to what is… to what can still be. “We don’t create our future by living in the rearview mirror… we create it by gently returning to the present.”     Sometimes the first step out of loneliness is not immediately finding someone else who understands… …but creating a space where you can hear your own heart again. When you: draw a simple line write a few honest words layer a piece of paper sit quietly and create You are doing something powerful. You are giving your feelings a place to go. And something begins to shift. The loneliness softens… not because everything is fixed… …but because you are no longer holding it all inside alone.   This is why I created My Art Sisters. It’s a space where women come together—not just to make art— but to experience emotional renewal through simple creative practice. Inside, I guide you step-by-step with: guided art projects journaling prompts Creative Reminders You’ll begin to: quiet your mind reconnect with yourself and create a gentle daily rhythm All in just 10–20 minutes a day. It’s not about adding more to your life… It’s about creating a small space within your life that gives back to you.   Now, I know some of you might be thinking… “That sounds nice… but I don’t have time.” “I’m not creative.” “I wouldn’t even know where to start.” Let me gently meet you there. You don’t need an hour. You don’t need special talent. You don’t need to “be artistic.” This is not about creating something perfect. It’s about creating something honest. Even 10–20 minutes… A few lines on a page… A simple piece of paper layered together… That is enough to begin. And sometimes we resist these small things… not because they don’t matter… but because we don’t yet realize how much we need them.   So if you’ve been feeling lonely… even in the middle of a full life… I want you to hear this: There is nothing wrong with you. Your heart is simply longing for resonance. For connection that feels real. For someone to truly understand. And sometimes… that begins with you. With a quiet moment. A simple page. A small act of creating. Because when your hands begin to move… your heart begins to feel less alone.  

Visit my website:  https://realpositivechange.com   Today I want to talk about something I began noticing in my own life… Have you ever noticed that when you describe your day to someone, you often end up emphasizing the hard parts?  The Challenges you experienced/ You mention the problems that came up. The frustrations. The things that took extra effort. And afterward you might even wonder: Why did I feel the need to explain all of that to this person? You weren’t trying to complain.  You simply felt the need to share.  I began noticing this in myself.  It felt as if I thought that if I shared my challenges and struggles a better connection would be established with this individual and myself.   I found that thought interesting and wanted to explore where this might be coming from. What I found is that…. a person is actually doing something their brain needed in order to feel settled. Today we’re going to talk about why that happens — and how understanding this can bring tremendous relief to your mind and body.   Welcome back, my friends,   Today I am talking about how Many women live in roles where their most important work is invisible. We are stabilizers. We are the ones who: Notice tension in the room. Who Calm emotions before they escalate. Who Anticipate needs before anyone even asks. We are the ones who Encourage someone who is discouraged. And we Keep peace when others are frustrated. Many times it is the woman who manages the emotions of children. And Sometimes the emotions of spouses. And more often than not, the emotional climate of an entire home. But here is the interesting thing. When someone stabilizes the emotional environment well… situations that would tend to be dramatic lesson or are resolved quickly… The arguments. The meltdowns. The momentary crisis. And because these situations are minimized or actually never happen, no one realizes that something important took place to create such an atmosphere. No one says, “Thank you for stabilizing the emotional climate of our home today.” Yet neurologically… that may have been the most important work done all day.   I’ve talked before about how our BRAIN NEEDS CLOSURE Your brain carries a quiet question every day. Not consciously. But biologically. The question is this: “What I Did today, did it actually matter?”  For most of human history, the answer to that question came naturally. People lived and worked together in small groups. If you contributed something — someone noticed. Someone said thank you. Someone saw the effort. Those signals told the nervous system something very important: You contributed. You belong here. You can relax now. When the brain receives that signal, it shifts into what we call the parasympathetic state — the state where the body repairs, restores, and rests. But when that signal does not occur… the brain keeps searching for it.   WHY WE EMPHASIZE THE HARD PARTS This is where something very interesting happens. When effort is invisible, the brain begins to use difficulty as proof. If the day was exhausting… then it must have counted. So we begin explaining the hard parts of the day. Not for sympathy. But for evidence. We are trying to establish reality. “My day was not empty. I carried something.” In other words, we are trying to close a psychological loop. This loop being that the day happened… But because the efforts were invisible…those efforts went unnoticed and were never officially registered in the mind.   HOW THE NERVOUS SYSTEM RESPONDS When the brain cannot close that loop, it keeps the experience active. It replays the day. It reviews conversations. It searches for resolution. That process is what we call rumination. And rumination keeps the nervous system slightly activated. And The body remains in a mild “alert mode.” This system releases stress chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol. Those chemicals are created to help us solve problems in the moment… but when they stay active too long, they affect the body. They keep the heart rate higher. They tighten blood vessels. And over time, chronic stress activation can even contribute to higher blood pressure. So when you find yourself replaying the day in your mind… your brain is not being dramatic. It is simply trying to finish something that never received recognition, thus, never received closure.   WHY SHARING THE HARD FEELS RELIEVING Have you ever noticed that when someone listens and responds with understanding… something inside you relaxes? Maybe they say, “Wow… that sounds like a lot.” Or, “You handled a lot today.” And suddenly your body softens, it relaxes… That happens because your brain just received something it had been searching for all along: Acknowledgement. Acknowledgement tells the nervous system: “The effort was real. The work is complete.” And the body finally begins to calm down.   WHEN LIFE PROVIDES NO WITNESS But many women do enormous amounts of emotional and relational work that simply goes unseen. Your Preventing problems. Your Encouraging others. Your Holding things together. It’s all very meaningful work. But it erases its own evidence. And this creates a problem. If no one sees the work… how does the brain know the day counted? This is where reflective practices become incredibly powerful.   WHY CREATIVE EXPRESSION HELPS Your brain does not actually need a long explanation. What it really needs is a marker. Something that says: “This day happened. It has been recorded.” This is why creative practices like journaling, art, and Creative Reminders can be so calming to the nervous system. These creative acts can become ways of acknowledgment and give your brain something it can see. Something tangible. Something real. The art itself is not the goal. The art is the witness.   WHY SMALL ACTIONS WORK Sometimes people feel that a small action — like a single brush stroke — is too little to matter. But the brain does not measure meaning the way the mind does. Your mind measures meaning by effort. But your nervous system measures meaning by completion. Humans have always used small rituals to mark completion. The Lighting a candle. Saying a prayer. Signing a document. Closing a journal. These are not large actions. They are recognition moments. They tell the brain: The experience has been acknowledged. You can now rest.   A SIMPLE PRACTICE YOU CAN TRY I’d like to share a very simple 5-minute practice you can do at the end of your day. Think of it as a way of gently closing the loop. Step one: Name three contributions. Not accomplishments. But the contributions you made that day. Maybe you listened patiently on a phone call. Maybe you encouraged someone. Maybe you stayed calm when someone else was not. Every Small action, every small effort counts. Every moment of prevention counts. Step two: Make one visible mark. A brush stroke. A colored square. A small piece of collage. It is ok that it is abstract or feels incomplete, because You are recording the day in a symbolic way. Step three: Say this Creative Reminder out loud: “What I gave today was real, even if no one saw it.” And finally, step four: Close the day. Simply say: “Today counted. I can rest.” This small practice gives your brain the acknowledgement it has been searching for.   So WHY does THIS MATTER? Your value does not have to be proven through exhaustion. Your life does not only count on the hard days. Sometimes the most important work we do is quiet and unnoticed.  For example: Stabilizing emotions. Offering kindness. Preventing conflict. Showing up faithfully. Those things matter deeply. Even when they leave no visible trace.   CLOSING If you’ve ever felt the need to emphasize the hard parts of your day… now you understand why. Your brain was simply trying to find a witness. But the beautiful thing is this: You can learn to witness your own life. Through reflection. Through prayer. Through creative expression. Through a simple mark on a page that says, “I was here today. My life mattered.” You taking the time to listen to this episode mattered and Thank you for spending these moments with me today. If this episode encouraged you, please share it with someone who might need this reminder too. And if you would like to explore the Creative Reminders practice and gentle art journaling with me, you can visit my website where I share classes and resources designed to help women restore calm, clarity, and joy.  At Real Positive Change.com Until next time… Remember: Art doesn’t ask for perfection. It simply witnesses that your efforts matter and that you were here.

  Have you ever noticed how certain situations stay in your mind long after they happen? You may try to reason with yourself, reminding yourself that you cannot control the situation. Yet every time the thought returns, your body reacts with frustration, tension, or anxiety. This reaction is often a form of emotional resistance. In this episode of the Real Positive Change Podcast, we explore how resistance is not always about the situation itself, but about the emotional charge that the situation created inside of us. When a thought repeatedly triggers stress in the body, it can feel as if your mind is touching a “hot wire” each time it returns. You will learn: Why some situations create ongoing emotional resistance How resistance can affect the nervous system and emotional well-being Why trying to “think your way out” of the feeling often doesn’t work How creative expression can help release emotional tension and restore calm Sometimes the mind needs more than logic to find peace. Through gentle reflection and creative practice, it is possible to move from resistance toward clarity and emotional balance. If you have ever felt stuck replaying a difficult situation, this conversation will offer insight, understanding, and a calming perspective. Listen as I discuss more in this new podcast. For creative classes, visit my website:  https://realpositivechange.com

For creative classes, visit my website:  https://realpositivechange.com Most of us think thoughts are just… ideas. Something invisible. Something abstract. But your brain is not actually operating in silence. Your brain is electrical. Every thought you have is created by neurons — tiny cells — sending electrical signals to each other. And when millions of those cells fire together, they produce measurable rhythms. Scientists can literally place small sensors on the scalp and watch your thoughts move. They are called brain waves......   Your mind is not only thinking… Your mind is vibrating. You don’t feel anxious just because of what you are thinking. You feel anxious because your brain is operating at a faster electrical rhythm.   RHYTHM, SOUND, AND WHY REPETITION HEALS The brain has another remarkable property. It synchronizes to rhythm. Scientists call this neural entrainment. Your brain matches steady patterns: breathing… rocking… music… repetition… even repeated words in prayer. This is why mothers instinctively rock babies. Why a hymn calms your heart. Why writing the same reassuring sentence in a journal settles your mind. Why I call the process Creative Reminders. Repetition is not childish. Repetition is biological reassurance. Your nervous system recognizes rhythm as safety.   WHY WOMEN ESPECIALLY NEED THIS Many women live in continuous responsibility. Your brain is always scanning: Who needs me? What did I forget? What might go wrong? Your nervous system rarely gets a moment of completion. Creative expression gives the brain a closed loop — a beginning, middle, and end. You finish a page. You finish a collage. You finish a small act of beauty. And your brain experiences resolution. And resolution produces relief.

A Daily Rhythm to Reshape Your Day. https://realpositivechange.com When Your To-Do List Steals Your Peace Welcome back to the Real Positive Change Podcast. Today feels like real life. It has been one of those weeks — the kind where you are keeping up with responsibilities, handling small disappointments, and carrying more in your mind than you even realized you were holding. And honestly… I would much rather be on a vacation right now. But we all know that isn’t realistic. This is the rhythm of daily living.
There are days filled with joy and contentment… and then there are days that feel heavy before they even begin. The problem is not that challenges come.
The problem is that if we don’t manage what is happening inside us, the weight of life begins to manage us. Thank heavens for exercise and for quiet moments of creative journaling. Yet even those life-giving things are often the first to disappear.
We get caught in “putting out fires,” taking care of responsibilities, and helping other people… and we stop giving ourselves the very medicine that would help us carry it all. Many mornings we wake up and jump immediately into the tasks waiting for us.
No pause.
No awareness.
Just movement. But I’ve learned something gentle and important: We don’t need a long retreat to reset our heart.
We need a small daily rhythm. Just a few quiet minutes to take our emotional temperature. What am I worried about today?
What concerns are sitting quietly in the background of my mind? Then I take those thoughts to God — speaking honestly in prayer and listening through Scripture. It only takes a few minutes. After I have finished that, I look up a Creative Reminder — a short statement of truth that directs my mind and interrupts the mental list before it fogs the window of how I greet the day. I’m sure you have experienced this and can relate to how this happens. You wake up with thoughts of your to-do list knocking on the door of your mind.
 That is what happened to me this morning. I have things that must be done before I leave town, and just thinking about them drained my energy before I even started. I think it is important to acknowledge what we are feeling rather than skipping over those feelings…Now I am not saying to sit down and have a pitty party…. A simple recognizing how we feel will do. So instead of trying to push the feeling away, I took the overwhelm with me to my Creative Reminder library. I ask, which words can encourage and raise my level of energy? Then I look up what first comes to my mind.   Today, I thoushgt of two reminders — number 965 and 968. The first reads: “I am mature and wise, walking in honor and integrity. I trust God’s guidance in every decision and embrace the lessons that have shaped my character and strengthened my spirit.” The second says: “I embrace every learning opportunity as a gift, gaining the strength and wisdom to rise above the challenges of the world. With God’s guidance, I overcome obstacles and walk in faith, courage, and divine purpose.” These words became like a compass for my mind.
They gave direction to my thoughts and intention to my day. Then I wrote them in my journal.
I added a little color… a small collage image… nothing complicated. But in doing that, I slowed down. I breathed. I let the words settle. Creative Reminders are a little like an old friend listening patiently to your worries and gently saying, “Have you thought about looking at it this way instead?” Because here is a powerful truth: Only I can direct my mind. Circumstances will present themselves.
Responsibilities will come.
Disappointments will happen. But perspective is still a choice. When I pause, pray, and reflect, I am choosing the lens I will look through for the day. After that — a short walk, some movement, healthy choices — and I begin to feel encouraged instead of defeated as I chip away at what life places in front of me. The goal is not to eliminate busy seasons. The goal is to begin the day anchored before the day begins directing you. Sometimes peace doesn’t come from removing the list.
It comes from steadying the heart that carries the list. So if you wake tomorrow already tired…
try three quiet minutes. Pause.
Notice what you are carrying.
Take it to God.
Choose a truth to guide your thinking.   You may discover you don’t need a vacation as much as you need a starting place for your mind. And that small beginning can gently change the entire day. Now, Before we finish today, I want to leave you with a simple invitation. If this resonated with you, don’t just nod and move on with your day.
Give yourself a small moment to practice it. Choose one encouraging truth.
Write it down.
Sit quietly with it for a minute or two and let your mind settle instead of rushing ahead. I’ve created a library of Creative Reminders for mornings exactly like this — mornings when your thoughts feel crowded and your energy feels low. You can gently choose one and begin your day with intention instead of pressure. You’ll find the link in the show notes. Thank you for spending this time with me.
Until next time, take a quiet breath, notice what is good, and remember… small shifts inside the heart often change much more than we expect.

Today I want to talk about something that sounds simple…
but is actually very tender and very human. Agency. We hear that word and often think it means control.
Having answers.
Having certainty.
Having things work out. But the older I get, and the more I sit with women who are tired, faithful, creative, and trying their best…
the more I realize that agency isn’t about controlling your life at all. It’s about trusting yourself inside it. And that distinction matters—especially when life feels unpredictable, overwhelming, or unfair. So if you’re listening today and things feel uncertain…
If you’re doing “all the right things” but still feel anxious or unsettled…
If you’ve ever wondered, Why does letting go feels so scary?
This conversation is for you.  Visit me at https://realpositivechange.com

Even when life looks “fine” on the outside, the body may still be carrying years of unresolved stress. If we don’t pay attention to the body’s signals, we may: Keep trying to think our way into peace Judge ourselves for feeling tired or overwhelmed Miss early signs of burnout or anxiety But when we learn to notice and respond to the nervous system with kindness, something powerful happens: The body relearns safety.  It learns what it means to be safe And the mind follows.     The turth is…The body is not stubborn. It’s responsive. It has been protecting you the best way it knows how. And when you give it gentle, consistent signals of safety, it remembers how to rest.     Many women try to calm anxiety by correcting thoughts—and while that matters, it’s often not the first step. If the body still feels unsafe, the mind will keep scanning for danger. This is why you can know everything is okay… but still feel anxious. The order matters: Body first Then the mind follows This isn’t a lack of faith. It’s how we were designed.   So how do we help the body:??   Let’s talk amoment about The Power of Breath One of the most effective ways to calm the body is through slow, gentle breathing. Research has shown that extending the exhale—even slightly—activates the parasympathetic nervous system. This tells the body: “You’re safe now.” You don’t need to breathe deeply or perfectly. Just try this: Inhale gently through your nose Exhale slowly through your mouth Let the exhale be a little longer than the inhale Even two to three minutes of this kind of breathing has been shown in studies to reduce heart rate, muscle tension, and feelings of panic. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing…Breath is always available. It’s one of the body’s most faithful anchors.   Grounding Through Touch and Sensation Another powerful way to calm the nervous system is grounding through the senses. This might look like: Placing a hand over your heart Resting a hand on your stomach Light tapping on the arms or legs Feeling your feet on the floor Studies in somatic psychology show that intentional touch helps the brain register safety and presence. You might quietly say a word like: “Here.” “Safe.” “Release.” These aren’t magic words. They’re signals telling it to relax because all is well.   For a Nervous System Reset Creativity is one of the most effective—it’s a fun and gentle—way to calm the body. Research published in journals such as Art Therapy and Psychology of Aesthetics consistently shows that engaging in creative activities can lower stress hormones and increase feelings of calm and focus. And here’s the beautiful part: 👉 Skill does not matter. Coloring. Painting. Collage. Simple mark-making. The nervous system responds to rhythm, repetition, and presence—not perfection. Even five minutes of creative engagement can begin to shift the body out of stress mode. This is why creativity feels soothing Story I was told of a woman who had a very stressful job…which caused her anxiety to spike every afternoon. Nothing specific triggered it. It was simply the weight of the day catching up with her body. Instead of pushing through or analyzing the feeling, she began keeping art supplies nearby. When the anxiety rose, she paused, grabbed a marker or crayon and colored simple shapes.  The goal was not to create a piece of art….it was an exercise to disengage her sympathetic (stress) system.  To give her body a moment to calm and feel safe and her mind to process all the emotions built up throughout the day.   Over time, the anxious episodes didn’t disappear—but they became shorter, and less overwhelming. Her body learned something new: “I can come back to calm.”  Her job was very stressful…but she learned how to navigate the stress by taking a few minutes to reset and calm rather than letting the stress build up and begin to control her.   One thing research consistently shows is that avoidance strengthens fear. When we avoid sensations of anxiety, the nervous system learns that those sensations are dangerous. But when we gently stay present—without fighting, judging, or rushing—the body learns resilience. You’re not trying to like the feeling. You’re teaching your body that it can move through it. This is how confidence grows—not through control, but through trust.   A Gentle Practice Invitation Right now, if you’re able, pause. Place one hand somewhere that feels comforting. Take a slow breath in… and a longer breath out. Notice your body. You don’t need to fix anything. Just let your body know: That you are safe and “You’re allowed to rest.”  I always taught my clients that when their body understands that it is safe to let down the guard and let an emotion go…they might start to yawn for no reason.  This yawn was their body releasing the buildup of stress.   So in Closing Peace doesn’t begin in the mind alone. It begins when the body feels safe enough to let down its guard. As you practice calming the body, you may notice that clarity returns… thoughts slow… and anxiety loosens its grip. Your body is not your enemy. The body is your companion. It gently communicates what’s happening beneath the surface—often revealing mental and emotional strain through physical symptoms. And with a little attention and gentle care, it will remember peace. 🌿  

One of the hardest things for sensitive, faith-filled women is discerning this question:
“Is this the Holy Spirit prompting me… or is this just worry?” Anxiety-driven thoughts tend to be loud, urgent, repetitive, and intrusive. They pull our attention forward into imagined threats and worst-case scenarios. Over time, that mental noise can make it harder to feel spiritually grounded—not because faith is weak, but because the nervous system is overwhelmed.   Faith, at its core, is trust in God. Anxiety, when it becomes excessive, often feels like the opposite—living in uncertainty, self-doubt, and a constant sense that something is about to go wrong. Anxiety Isn’t the Enemy Anxiety itself is not bad. It’s part of the way God designed our bodies to protect us. Healthy anxiety: Alerts us to danger Motivates preparation Helps us make thoughtful decisions Reveals what matters deeply to us But when anxiety becomes persistent, uncontrollable, and exhausting, it stops serving us. Instead of protecting us, it begins to interfere with daily life, relationships, rest, and even spiritual connection. This is where excessive worry can begin to masquerade as spiritual concern—especially for women who care deeply, take responsibility seriously, and want peace for everyone around them.   Why Anxiety Can Become Overwhelming?   Many people who struggle with anxiety share a few common patterns: A natural sensitivity or emotional vulnerability Long-term stress that never fully resolves Perfectionism or the pressure to “get it right” Feeling responsible for others’ emotions Holding onto guilt or regret long after mistakes are made None of these means something is “wrong” with you. Just as some families are more prone to physical conditions, some are more vulnerable to emotional ones. Vulnerability alone doesn’t cause anxiety disorders—but when stress and worry pile up without release, the system can overload. Spirit vs. Worry: How They Feel Different Here’s a gentle distinction many women find helpful: The Spirit is calm, clear, and invitational. Even when it warns, it brings peace alongside direction. Excessive worry is urgent, harsh, and repetitive, leaving you feeling powerless or trapped. The Spirit guides. Anxiety pressures.   Gentle Practices for Calming Anxiety (and Making Space for the Spirit) Instead of trying to eliminate anxiety—which often makes it louder—we can learn how to respond differently when it shows up. 1. Calm the Mind Practice compassionate, truthful self-talk.
Write or speak calming truths—scripture, affirmations, or visual reminders—that help your thoughts settle. Journaling can anchor these truths so they’re felt, not just thought. When I feel that looming feeling that something is not right….Or I am uneasy for no apparent reason, I turn to a section in our membership My Art Sisters called the Creative Reminders library and I take a minute and ask myself what statement in this library would help redirect my thinking? I have almost 1,000 statements, yet my mind will direct me to one for consideration. For example 861. Let’s take a moment and look that one up. 861 I choose to be an Ultimate Organizer who skillfully wears all the hats necessary to manage the responsibilities placed before me.   I ask God to renew my mind and give me the ability to flow from one task to another with ease. I will be a creative thinker open to receiving a new perspective to help me see clearly and think with clarity.  I am grateful for the gift of insight and the ability to see past the immediate task, to know what else needs to be done. I am grateful for heavenly inspiration, as I explore ideas that are creative and unusual...ideas that are not limited, or controlled by society's rules or tradition. Or. 455 I am grounded in peace. I trust God’s presence to bring calm to my heart and clarity to my mind. I am at peace with where I am and where I am going. You have the power to choose the words that feed your mind and create your emotions. 2. Calm the Body and Emotions When anxiety begins to rise, pause and slow everything down. Take a gentle breath in, then let the exhale linger a little longer. Simple grounding practices—like placing a hand on your chest or lightly tapping while whispering “release”—can help your body feel safe again. Creativity plays a powerful role here. Even a few minutes of coloring, painting, or simple art-making can calm the nervous system and gently bring you back into the present moment. Once your body has settled, you can revisit the situation with clarity. Use a reflective process like S.T.O.R.Y. after the intensity has passed, rather than trying to reason through it while emotions are heightened. Avoidance often gives anxiety more power. When you gently stay present and engage—without trying to fight or control the feeling—anxiety often loosens its grip over time. 3. Calm Your Sense of Identity and Worth Anxiety often attacks identity. Faith restores it. Your worth does not rise and fall with performance, approval, or productivity. It is constant. Rooted. Given by God. Create a personal “truth script” using scripture, hymns, or affirmations—words you can return to when worry tries to define you. And remember: mistakes are not failures. They are teachers. A peaceful life isn’t built on perfection, but on learning with grace. Closing Thought for the Podcast Understanding anxiety strengthens compassion, wisdom, and discernment. By calming the body and mind, we open ourselves to the Spirit’s guidance—spoken not in urgency or fear, but in peace, clarity, and trust.

When one tuning fork is struck, another tuning fork tuned to the same frequency will start to vibrate on its own. This happens because energy is transmitted from one to the other. You don’t touch the second fork; it simply responds to the energy of the first. This is exactly how co-regulation works.   When you stay calm, steady, and grounded, the nervous system of the person around you—child, spouse, friend—can begin to resonate with that same calm. Your presence acts like the first tuning fork. Their nervous system picks up the “frequency” and starts to settle, even without words or effort on their part. Calm is literally contagious in a measurable, physiological way.   When we understand all of this, something begins to shift. We realize that being a balancing factor isn’t about fixing emotions or making them disappear; it’s about offering steady presence. It’s about slowing the moment, softening the story the mind is telling, and creating enough space for the nervous system to reset.   When you remain calm and grounded in someone else’s emotional moment, you lend them your calm, your rhythm, and your regulation. Your steadiness becomes an anchor. And over time, through repeated experiences of safety and connection, they begin to find that steadiness within themselves. This applies to children, to spouses, to friends, and even to entire communities. Balance is contagious—and so is calm.

We’re coming off a full month of gathering, celebrating, giving, making things, hosting things, being things for other people. And even when those moments were joyful, they were still demanding. So today, I want to offer something different.   Not a push. Not a plan. But permission. Permission to renew.   Recently, my friend Jeri shared something that stopped me in my tracks. She said that after a big event, she intentionally allows herself time to re-enter life. I loved that phrase. Because so often we expect ourselves to move from full speed straight into full productivity—with no transition at all. But renewal happens in the re-entry.   One of the most important things I’ve learned—both personally and through research—is this: Much of our anxiety doesn’t come from the situation itself, but from how our mind translates the situation. Our nervous system doesn’t just react to events. It reacts to meaning. Dr. Caroline Leaf, a neuroscientist who studies the mind-brain connection, explains that our thoughts create physical responses in the body. The brain is constantly asking: Is this safe? Is this overwhelming? Is this too much? When we move too quickly, when we don’t give ourselves time to process, the nervous system stays in a state of alert.   So when January shows up and life “marches on,” we may feel: behind pressured scattered anxious for no clear reason Not because we’re failing— but because we haven’t allowed ourselves to renew the mind between seasons. So the question becomes: How do we give ourselves permission to re-enter gently?

Is there greater motivation of sticking with a goal when it is fed by the energy of a feeling, rather than by checking it off a to-do list? Many of the changes we long for most—peace, steadiness, creativity, emotional clarity—don’t respond well to pressure. They respond to our inner environment.   So today, I want to shift the question just slightly.
Not: What should I do this year?
But: What kind of environment do I want to create inside of me?   Website: https://realpositivechange.com

 This Year instead of asking, "What do I want to change?"   Ask, "What do I want to nurture?"   There’s usually a surge of energy around New Year’s resolutions—hope, excitement, determination.
“This is the year,” we tell ourselves.
“This time it will stick.” However, for many women, resolutions quietly fade—not because they failed or lacked discipline —but because resolutions are often built on emotion alone.   So today, I want to invite a gentle shift.
What if, instead of New Year’s resolutions, we focused on New Year motivations?   I talk about how emotions are like waves.
They rise.
They peak.
They pass. When we fight them, they feel bigger.
When we acknowledge them, they often soften. This is where changing the translation of a situation matters. Instead of saying:
“This feels hard, so I must be failing.” We begin to say:
“This feels hard because growth is happening.”   I show you how to change your reactions as I take you through the STORY model.  You learn how to stop fighting, or burying these emotions and make what you can do to achieve your change.   Visit my website:  https://realpositivechange.com  

I am focusing today on how to walk alongside adult children in a season where your role is changing. I had this question come to my mind, "How do we discern when we are being God’s hands—helping, supporting, and standing beside our children—and when we are unknowingly getting in the way of His greater work by trying to rescue them from suffering?"   I thought of Mary. She carried Jesus, nurtured Him, loved Him with a mother’s heart—and then she watched Him suffer for the sake of all mankind. Surely, if it were possible, every maternal instinct within her would have wanted to stop it. To intervene. To protect Him from pain. Yet Mary did not cling to her own will. She surrendered to God’s. She trusted that God’s purpose, though unimaginably painful, was greater than her instinct to rescue. Her obedience did not mean she loved her Son any less—it meant she trusted God more.   In this episode, I visit the situation that happens when adult children expect us to step in—because we always have—and how restraint can feel like rejection. Taking on these new perceptions: 
I can love without fixing.
I can support without removing consequences.
I can stay connected without taking over. A question to ask ourselves when the urge to rescue rises, pause and ask:
“Am I being invited to act… or to trust?” And then:
“Will stepping in here strengthen my child’s dependence on God—or on me?”   We cover this and more as we learn to take on a new role of motherhood. website: https://realpositivechange.com instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cathyfreemanart/  

How are you feeling?  I hope you have a happy, wiggle in your step....if not, I have an idea that may add a little spark.... it ranks right up there with chocolate!  I am talking about how to get our brain to release those feel-good chemicals  without the added calories that sweets will give us.    I’m talking dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin — the same kind of “ahhh” response we associate with chocolate 🍫 (but without the sugar crash).   It's short and easy to listen to on your phone....click here.   Besides that it won't cost you a thing, so forward it to a girlfriend, or two.   After conducting a deep dive into the study of kindness, I now consider it our Superpower. Research shows that acts of kindness trigger the release of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin—chemicals in the brain that promote calm, connection, and well-being. At the same time, kindness helps lower cortisol—the stress hormone that keeps us tense, reactive, and emotionally exhausted. In other words, kindness doesn’t just help others…
it physically calms your own body. That’s why offering kindness often leaves you feeling lighter, steadier, and more at peace.     Kindness Creates Connection—and Connection Is Protective Studies consistently show that kindness strengthens social bonds and a sense of belonging. And here’s why that matters:
Human connection is one of the strongest buffers against stress, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm. When you practice kindness—whether it’s listening, encouraging, or helping—you’re reinforcing a message to your nervous system:
“I’m not alone. We’re connected.” That sense of connection is deeply stabilizing. Kindness Supports Physical Health.     Research also links consistent acts of kindness and volunteering to: Lower blood pressure Improved heart health Stronger immune response Greater longevity So kindness is not just emotional or spiritual—it’s physical. Your body was designed to thrive in generosity, not isolation.   Want more? Visit my website: https://realpositivechange.com Follow me on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/cathyfreemanart/    

Perfectionism is often driven by the fear of disappointing others more than the desire to do something well.    Let's talk today on....What perfectionism is, how it connects to not wanting to let people down or feeling judged, AND when striving for excellence turns into unhealthy perfectionism.   Is There Anything Wrong With Wanting to Do Things Perfectly? No — wanting to do things well is a beautiful desire.
It reflects integrity, care, excellence, and often a deep desire to honor God with your best. But here’s the truth: most women aren’t taught. There’s a big difference between striving for excellence and striving for perfection. Excellence is healthy.
Perfection becomes harmful. Many of us grew up hearing: “Do your best.” “Don’t make mistakes.” “Make it perfect.” “If you’re going to do something, do it right.” Culturally and spiritually, perfection often gets confused with righteousness.
So we assume that doing things perfectly makes us “good,” “worthy,” or “responsible.” Perfection becomes harmful the moment it shifts from motivation to pressure. So today, we’re going to walk through: What perfectionism really is How the nervous system uses it to protect you When excellence turns into something unhealthy And how intention — not pressure — becomes the path back to freedom And of course, I’ll share two powerful Creative Reminders to help you reset your inner story.

Have you ever started your day with a great plan, only to have one curveball send you spiraling emotionally? Welcome back to the Real Positive Change podcast.
I’m Cathy, and I am so grateful you’re here. Today’s episode is a personal one — because I’ve been walking through a season of emotional transformation, and it has changed the way I move through my day… the way I show up for my family… and honestly, the way I feel about my life. My husband said to me three separate times this week: “I love this change you’ve made. I don’t know what you’re doing, but keep doing it.” And that was confirmation that the emotional and spiritual work I’ve been doing with God is creating real, visible, and peaceful change. Today we’re talking about the STORY Model —
a simple but powerful way to understand what’s happening inside you emotionally…
and how to stay grounded, centered, and connected to God even when your day takes an unexpected turn. If you're someone who likes life to flow smoothly — no glitches, no last-minute changes — then today’s episode is especially for you. Let’s dive in. ⭐ THE STORY MODEL — Understanding Your Emotional Experience S — Stimulus or Situation This is what happens externally.
An unexpected schedule change.
A frustrating moment.
A conversation that catches you off guard.
A tone of voice.
A decision.
Even silence. Your day begins to shift before you even know it. T — Thought (The First Meaning) Your mind instantly assigns meaning.
This meaning is quick, automatic, and usually shaped by the world around you. It’s the first interpretation before you take a breath. Something like:
“This is frustrating.”
“I didn’t expect that.”
“I don’t like this.”
“I wasn’t ready for this.” Not wrong — just fast. O — Original Emotion This is the natural emotional response. Irritation.
Disappointment.
Sadness.
Surprise.
Concern. It is honest, human, and absolutely valid. But then… R — Reflection (The Second Meaning) This is the deeper emotional layer —
the one that turns the moment into a mirror. Reflection is the meaning you attach to the situation about yourself. It sounds like: “Maybe I’m not important.”
“Maybe I did something wrong.”
“I should’ve been better.”
“I’m being replaced.”
“I’m not valued.”
“This always happens to me.” This is where the second emotion forms —
the heavier one. Reflection is where insecurity, fear, shame, or old wounds quietly slip in. And THIS is what actually intensifies our emotions —
not the situation…
but the meaning we attach to ourselves. 🕊️ A SHORT, GENTLE WORD ABOUT GRIEF (one small section, just supportive — not the whole episode) Something God has been showing me is that many of our emotional reactions are actually connected to grief. Not only the grief of loss,
but the grief of: – Changed plans
– Disrupted routines
– Lost expectations
– A vision for your life not unfolding the way you imagined
– Something familiar ending
– Life moving differently than you hoped These moments carry small but real grief. And when that grief isn’t comforted, it can lead to: Emotional heaviness.
Irritability.
Discouragement.
Hopelessness.
Feeling unseen or unsupported. Recognizing this is not weakness.
It’s wisdom. Because naming the grief keeps it from becoming your whole identity. And that brings us to the part of the model where your power returns… ⭐ Y — YOUR CHOICE This is the split in the road — the moment where you decide the direction your story goes. You have two paths: Path 1 — The Automatic Direction You follow the painful reflection.
You gather evidence to prove the insecurity is true.
Your reactions start confirming the story your emotions wrote. Or… Path 2 — The Intentional Direction You pause.
You breathe.
You invite God into the moment.
And you choose a different meaning… a different direction… a different ending. This is where spiritual growth happens.
This is where emotional freedom grows.
This is where peace gets built — choice by choice. And this is where I want to give you the two creative practices that helped ME shift from emotional spiraling into emotional strength. 🎨 CREATIVE REMINDERS (for the Y moment) Your journal is not just a notebook —
it’s a tool to retrain your nervous system
and anchor your spirit in God’s truth. When you write an affirmation…
and you add color or paint behind the words…
your nervous system receives it as truth —
not just intellectually, but physically. Here are the two I want you to write: Creative Reminder #1 — Identity & Purpose Write this in your journal: “I choose to follow the example of God and be a light to others.
What I do matters.
I MATTER!” Add bold color behind the words —
yellow, gold, or whatever feels like light. Let your mind absorb the truth:
You matter.
Your presence matters.
Your peace matters. Creative Reminder #2 — Comfort for Grief For moments when sadness, loss, or disappointment rise up: “In my sorrow, I choose to lean on God’s everlasting love.
He sees my pain, and I trust that He will heal my heart over time.
I will rest in His promises, knowing He is with me in every moment of grief.” Then add soft, gentle color.
Blues, purples, or whatever feels calming. And speak this scripture over yourself: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3 Let the act of writing…
and the act of adding color…
be your way of choosing the intentional path —
the path toward peace. Friend, your emotions are not the problem.
Your story is simply asking to be understood. And as you begin to see your emotional process through the STORY Model,
you will start navigating your day with more grace,
more resilience,
and so much more peace. You are learning deeper trust.
You are learning to follow God’s will instead of forcing your own.
You are learning to see your story through His eyes. Thank you for spending this time with me today.
You are seen.
You are significant.
And God is walking with you every step of the way. Until next time,
this is Cathy —
reminding you that your story is still unfolding,
and God is not finished writing beauty into it.

Welcome back to the Real Positive Change Podcast. I’m Cathy Freeman, and today we’re stepping into a conversation every woman needs—but rarely gets. Have you ever had a moment where a small disappointment hits you way harder than it should? Or a simple request from someone suddenly feels overwhelming… and you don’t know why? You’re not alone. Today we’re talking about The Emotional Echo—why certain moments feel bigger, heavier, or more tender than the situation deserves. And more importantly, how old interpretations from your past may still be shaping how you feel today. We’re going to look at: the two layers of every emotion, Why does your body react first, how your mind often piles on meaning, and how simple creative reminders can help rewrite emotional pain and bring peace to your nervous system. This episode is gentle, eye-opening, and deeply empowering.
Let’s begin. MUSIC Welcome back to the Real Positive Change Podcast.
I’m Cathy Freeman, and today we’re talking about something that has brought so many women—myself absolutely included—relief, clarity, and compassion: A better understanding of the two layers in every emotional experience. This simple framework has changed the way I experience overwhelm, disappointment, frustration, and even those moments where I whisper to God… “I can’t take one more thing.” Today, I’m going to walk you through: Why emotions feel so intense The surprising second layer that makes them heavier than they need to be How Creative Reminders + art can lift emotional overload out of your nervous system And by the end, you will have language, compassion, and a clear path forward. SECTION 1 — The First Layer: Emotion Let’s begin with something most women have never been taught: 👉 Emotions come in waves… and the physical wave only lasts about 90 seconds. That insight comes from Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a Harvard-trained neuroscientist.
She discovered that from the moment a feeling is triggered in the body, the chemical reaction runs its course in about a minute and a half. That’s it.
The first layer is simply: Tightness in the chest Tears rising Shoulders tensing Heat in the face That sinking feeling in your stomach All of that is the body's chemical response — not a character flaw, not a failure, not a weakness.
Just the human body doing what it was designed to do. SECTION 2 — Then comes The Second Layer: Your Interpretation Here is where everything gets heavier: 👉 Interpretation is the meaning your mind attaches to the emotion. This layer is optional — but it feels so real. And interpretation can sound like: “This is happening again. I can’t handle it.” “See… I’m not enough.” “Other women do this better. Why can’t I?” “This must mean something is wrong with me.” “If I were stronger, this wouldn’t bother me.” The emotion lasts 90 seconds.
The interpretation can last hours…days or even years. And when these old interpretations begin to repeat themselves, I call that: The Emotional Echo. It's when today’s feelings are amplified by yesterday’s meanings. SECTION 3 — Example 1: Disappointment Let’s say something small happens: You planned dinner.
You hoped everyone would appreciate the effort.
But instead… no one seems to notice. Emotion (first layer):
A little drop in the stomach.
A wave of discouragement.
Maybe sadness. Interpretation (second layer): “I’m invisible.” “Why do I even try?” “I’m not valued.” “No one appreciates me.” But here’s the truth:
The disappointment didn’t cause all that pain.
The interpretation did. This is where women get exhausted — carrying meanings that were never God’s truth. SECTION 4 — Example 2: Feeling Alone in Responsibility This one runs deep for so many women. Maybe it's caring for a child with special needs…
or managing a household…
or doing emotional labor for the whole family. Emotion (first layer):
Fatigue
Overwhelm
Tension
Tears behind the eyes Interpretation (second layer): “Why am I the only one carrying this?” “If I ask for help, I’m a burden.” “No one sees what I do.” “I should be stronger.” Again… the emotion was simply a wave. The interpretation is the heavy backpack we strap on afterward. SECTION 5 — Example 3: Grief or Loss This one is so important. Emotion (first layer):
A rush of sadness
Tight throat
Heavy chest
 The Interpretation (second layer): “This pain will never end.” “I’m falling apart.” “If I were trusting God more, I wouldn’t feel this deeply.” “Something is wrong with me for still hurting.” The emotion is human. The interpretation is the accusation. And God is nowhere in the accusation. SECTION 6 — The Emotional Echo: How the Brain Reinforces It So here’s what happens in the brain: Emotion → Interpretation → Reinforcement → New Emotion Reinforcement simply means:
Your brain looks around your life for evidence to prove the interpretation. If you think, “I’m invisible,”
your brain will notice every moment in your life that matches and supports that belief. If you think, “I’m failing,”
your brain will highlight every mistake. This is how the emotional echo grows louder — even when the original emotion has long passed. SECTION 7 — How Creative Reminders Rewrite the Emotional Echo This is the part I love, because it is powerful and accessible: 👉 Creative Reminders help replace old emotional meanings with truth. The more you focus on the creative reminder, you begin to build strong thought patterns that are looking for truth rather than old stories to stand as evidence And then, When you pair a Creative Reminder with art, something beautiful happens: The nervous system softens The emotional wave completes The interpretation shifts The “echo” loses its grip A new truth gets embedded through creativity Why art helps:
Art activates the right brain — the part responsible for calm, connection, imagination, and healing.
It opens the body so the new choice of thought can “stick.” Here are some Creative Reminders that rewrite emotional echoes: “The Savior goes before me and clears the way.” “I release what I can’t control and receive God’s peace.” “I am supported, guided, and strengthened today.” “I don’t carry this alone.” “God meets me in every emotion.” “I am allowed to pause, rest, and breathe.” And when you write one of these on a page,
add color,or paint behind it… Your nervous system receives it as truth. Not just intellectually — but physically WHY is that ? Because your brain does not interpret creativity as “just art.”
It interprets it as sensory experience — and sensory experience is what rewires emotional patterns. When you write a phrase, you activate: the language centers of your brain the prefrontal cortex (decision + meaning-making) your motor system (muscle movement signals safety) When you add color, or paint behind the phrase, you activate: the visual processing centers the emotional centers linked to color + memory the parasympathetic nervous system which slows stress responses Together, this becomes a multisensory message that your brain stores more deeply than spoken words alone. Your body says: “I’m seeing it, touching it, choosing it, and experiencing it —
so this must be safe… and this must be true.” That’s why women often feel calmer, clearer, or more grounded after creating something—even a simple color behind a statement.

Today I want to talk about something every woman I know has felt — but few of us fully understand: overwhelm. It’s more than being busy. It’s more than being tired.
Overwhelm happens when our heart, our mind, and our nervous system get pushed past the point of what we can hold. I want to be very honest because many of you already know part of our story.
My husband and I live with our adult son who has a severe mental illness. He has episodes — sudden, loud, sometimes destructive — and every one of them is unpredictable. There have been nights when I’ve prayed instantly, and God calms him.
And there have been nights when I thought, “Lord, I don’t even want to pray. I’m tired. I want out of this.” That moment taught me something powerful about overwhelm — and it’s a lesson that can help women with all kinds of intense emotions, whether grief, anxiety, frustration, or anger. SECTION 1 — Feeling Overwhelmed vs. Being Overwhelmed Let’s start with a key distinction: Feeling overwhelm is the body’s signal. It’s a natural response to pressure, intensity, or emotional load. Being overwhelmed is what happens when we identify with the feeling and believe a story about it. Think of it like a kitchen smoke alarm: The beeping = the feeling of overwhelm (signal). The thought, “I’m a terrible cook because the alarm went off” = being overwhelmed (sentence, judgment, story). When you’re feeling overwhelmed, your body is telling you: “Something needs adjustment. I need breath, space, or rest.” When you are being overwhelmed, your mind says: “I can’t handle this. Something is wrong with me. I’m failing.” Feeling overwhelmed is neutral, informative, and actionable.
Being overwhelmed is judgmental, identity-based, and disempowering.

“Let Go of Bitterness: Be the Hero of Your Own Story”
(How to Process, Release, and Rewrite What’s Been Holding You Back) 
Have you ever noticed that when we stay angry for too long... it starts to change shape?
At first, anger feels sharp — like fire.
But if we hold onto it, it cools and hardens into something heavier.
Something we might call... bitterness. And here’s the tricky thing — when we hold onto that bitterness,
we think we’re punishing the other person…
but really, we’re punishing ourselves. Our mind keeps replaying the story — trying to make sense of it —
but every replay keeps us stuck in the same pain. The healing begins when we let go.
Not to excuse what happened… but to free ourselves from carrying it. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending it was okay.
It means saying: “I will no longer give this story the power to control how I feel.” That’s when peace begins to return.
That’s when you become the hero of your story — instead of the victim replaying it. 
Let’s talk about that today. 🎶 [Insert your opening music here – 8–10 seconds] 
Welcome back, friends. Have you ever noticed how anger can linger — and then shift from heat to heaviness?
At first, it feels justified.
We’ve been hurt or betrayed, and it seems fair that the other person should feel our pain. But often… they’re not even thinking about it.
Meanwhile, we’re the ones replaying the moment — over and over again. Each time we revisit it, our brain and body respond as if it’s happening right now.
Our heart rate rises.
Our muscles tense.
Those painful feelings return. We stay locked in that moment emotionally, unable to move forward.
So while we may think holding onto bitterness “teaches them a lesson,”
it actually keeps us trapped in the pain. That’s what we mean when we say —
we end up punishing ourselves,
not because we deserve it,
but because our mind is still trying to resolve what happened. 
The healing begins when we let go.
When we stop giving the story power — and start reclaiming our peace. Today, we’ll explore how that happens —
how to release the emotion, reframe the story,
and step into your role as the hero of your own journey,
with the help of Christ and a few simple tools for peace. How Anger Turns into Bitterness 
Anger is a natural emotion.
It’s a signal that something feels unjust or painful. In its healthy form, anger moves us to act —
to speak up, set boundaries, or make a change. But when we don’t process it — maybe because we’re afraid of conflict, or we don’t feel heard —
it doesn’t just disappear.
It gets stored. Over time, the mind starts replaying the situation:
“They always do this.”
“It’s not fair.”
Those thoughts take root — and anger begins to harden into bitterness. (Pause)
Here’s what’s happening in the brain:
Every time we replay the story, we strengthen the same neural pathways —
the mental “roads” that carry those thoughts and emotions. It’s like walking the same trail over and over; it becomes well-worn and automatic.
So each time we revisit the hurt, the emotion floods back just as strongly as before. That’s why it can feel like we’re stuck.
Because in a way — neurologically — we are. But here’s the good news: our brains are changeable.
When we start practicing peace — choosing new thoughts, releasing emotions, and reframing the story — we literally create new pathways for calm, hope, and healing to flow. The Victim Loop and the Hero’s Journey When we’re hurt, our brain wants to make sense of it.
So it automatically builds a story — and usually, we cast ourselves as the victim,
and the other person as the villain. It’s our mind’s natural way of protecting us.
But when we stay in that victim role, we unknowingly give away our power. We wait for someone else to fix it, apologize, or make it right.
And while we’re waiting, we get stuck — in frustration, resentment, and blame. Every great story has a turning point —
the moment the victim decides to become the hero.
The same is true for us. We can’t always change what happened,
but we can change how we frame the story. That’s where the shift begins —
and that’s where the Savior steps in. When we choose to see ourselves as the hero — guided by Christ’s strength —
we invite His grace to help us rewrite the story with peace, purpose, and power. Emotional Stress Release Exercise Before we can rewrite our story, we have to let the emotion move through our body.
Because when we hold it in, it doesn’t vanish — it gets stored. That’s why, even years later, when we think back on a painful memory,
the emotion comes rushing back like it’s happening right now.
It’s not weakness — it’s simply your body reliving what it never released. Here’s a simple exercise to help release that stress safely: 🌬 Emotional Stress Release Practice: Move your eyes gently from side to side 3 to 5 times. Say to yourself, “Release ________” (name the emotion you’re feeling). Squeeze your eyes shut tightly 3 times. Take a deep breath — inhale slowly, exhale slowly. Repeat 3 times. Assess your emotion on a scale of 1–10. (1 = calm, 10 = intense.) Ask: “Does it feel as strong as when I started?” Continue until the emotion feels like a 1 or 2. This helps your body and brain let go of emotional tension — instead of recycling it.
Remember — we can’t think our way out of emotion; we have to let it move through the body. Using the STEAR Model to Reframe the Story Once the emotion has settled, that’s when we can think clearly.
The STEAR model is one of my favorite tools for seeing what’s really going on. S — Situation: The facts of what happened.
T — Thought: What I made it mean.
E — Emotion: What I felt because of that thought.
A — Action: What I did (or didn’t do) as a result.
R — Result: The outcome my thoughts and actions created. Here’s an example: Situation: A friend didn’t include me in an event. Thought: “She doesn’t value me.” Emotion: Hurt and anger. Action: I withdrew and replayed the story in my mind. Result: I felt more isolated — which confirmed my thought. Now, when I pause to release the emotion and shift my thought, I might say:
“Maybe it wasn’t about me. I can still choose to value our friendship.” That new thought creates peace instead of bitterness — and leads to a very different result. 
This is how we move from being stuck in the old story to writing a new one —
one led by faith, awareness, and grace. 
One last thought before we close. When we go back and relive past situations,
we invite those old emotions back in —
and our body reacts as though it’s happening right now. That’s why staying present is so powerful. Every time you notice your mind wandering back into an old story,
you can gently say: “That’s the old story — but I’m living a new one now.” You can feel peace in this moment.
You can choose freedom right here. You are not the victim of your story.
You are the hero — guided, strengthened, and supported by the One who redeems all things. When you release the emotion and reframe the story,
bitterness loses its power —
and peace begins to grow. Christ gives us the courage to face what hurt us,
and the grace to rewrite it. That’s how we move from anger to freedom…
from story to strength. Thanks for joining me today.
If this episode spoke to your heart, share it with someone who might need it too.
And don’t forget to visit My Art Sisters —
a creative space where peace and art meet faith and restoration. Until next time,
keep creating, keep growing, and keep becoming the hero of your own story.

The Emotion of Worry — Learning to Release Control and Choose Trust 
Welcome to Real Positive Change. I’m Cathy, and today we’re talking about something most of us know far too well — worry. Maybe it’s worrying about your children, your health, your finances, or whether you’re doing enough as a mom, spouse, or friend. Worry feels like caring — and it is — but left unchecked, it quietly drains your energy, clouds your judgment, and prevents you from showing up fully. 
In this episode, we’ll explore:Why worry becomes such a natural default.What happens in the brain when we worry.How to coach ourselves and use journaling to redirect worry.The surprising connection between worry and energy — including the Power vs. Force map.How to release worry in conversation without being toxic.By the end, you’ll see worry in a new light and have practical ways to shift from fear-driven action to trust-driven action. 
“Hello, and welcome! Today, we’re diving into one of the most common human experiences: worry. Whether you’re thinking about your family, your work, or just life in general, worry can sneak in and drain your energy. For those of you who are mothers…From the moment you know you’re carrying a child, worry often comes with the package. It’s the unknown, the responsibility, the desire to keep someone safe and happy. It feels like love. But here’s the catch: worry isn’t actually productive. It’s a low-energy, murky state that slows thinking, drains creativity, and keeps us spinning in fear.Example: You watch your teenager leave for their first solo activity. You might catch yourself thinking,
“What if they make a mistake?”
That worry triggers tension, adrenaline, and mental loops — and yet, it doesn’t actually protect them.Worry is an attempt at control — a way the brain tries to create safety when it doesn’t have certainty.   Neuroscience shows that worry isn’t just emotional — it’s physical. It’s tied to the brain’s Default Mode Network, or DMN.[Pause]
The DMN is the system that runs when our brain is “resting,” yet thinking about ourselves or the future. Worry, rumination, and mental rehearsal live here.When the DMN stays active — which often happens because we’ve trained it to cycle through anxious thoughts all day — it interferes with sleep, slows emotional recovery, and keeps us stuck in fear.Research shows:Strong Default Mode Network connectivity before sleep predicts poorer sleep and lower rest efficiency (Li et al., 2023).Mindfulness, reflective journaling, and cognitive reappraisal reduce DMN activity and improve emotional regulation (Farb et al., 2007; Brewer et al., 2011).So worry isn’t “just overthinking.” It’s a state your brain has learned — and it can be retrained. 
This is where coaching and journaling come in.
Using the S.T.E.A.R. model — Situation, Thought, Emotion, Action, Result — we can pause worry and redirect our brains:Example:Situation: My son is at school.Thought: “I’m worried he’ll make a mistake.”Emotion: Anxiety.Action: I overthink or text him unnecessarily.Result: I feel drained.[Pause 1 sec]
Coaching step:
“It’s okay not to know. God is with him. I can replace worry with trust.”That moment of awareness trains your brain to regulate, redirect, and release — essentially rehearsing calm before sleep. 
Here’s something fascinating that ties both science and energy together.
Dr. David Hawkins, in his book Power vs. Force, mapped human emotions on a scale from zero to a thousand — showing how each feeling carries an energetic strength that influences our ability to think clearly and create solutions.On his scale, the energy of FEAR sits at 100. Years ago, A colleague and I took this scale and added the other emotions that we typically deal with. Worry sits around 85, which is in the range of Fear.
When we’re in fear or worry, our energy contracts. Our mind goes into protection mode, and that means we can’t access the higher, creative parts of our brain.
It’s like trying to solve a problem while your house alarm is blaring — you can’t think clearly until the alarm turns off.Hawkins discovered that at an energy level of 200 — the level of Courage — the entire system shifts.
Below 200, we’re reacting, resisting, or trying to control.
Above 200, we begin responding with curiosity, confidence, and faith. That’s exactly what happens when we coach ourselves. We raise the energy from fear to courage.
We stop forcing solutions and start accessing power — the kind that comes from trust, peace, and clarity.So if worry is your default, notice that it’s not just emotional — it’s energetic.
You’re operating from an energy that’s too low to see possibility.The goal isn’t to eliminate worry completely. It’s to raise your energy just enough — through journaling, coaching, or even repeating a Creative Reminder — so that your brain opens up to see new solutions.
Because only from that level — from Courage and above — can your mind start to think in possibilities instead of problems.   At night, your brain needs cues to rest. Even after coaching yourself, it benefits from gentle signals:Calm the Body:4-7-8 breathingWarm tea or magnesium drinkDim lights, no screensQuiet the Mind:Reflective journaling of accomplishments and gratitudeCreative Reminder reflection (“I rest knowing all is working for good.”)Prayer or meditationCoach Your Thoughts:Mini S.T.E.A.R. check to reframe lingering worry into trustRitual of Release:Place hand over heart: “I release the day.”Visualize handing worries to God.   Sometimes we need to “dump” mental clutter. But we can do it without making it heavy for someone else.Healthy Guidelines:Ask for permission: “Can I talk this out for a few minutes?”Set boundaries: 5–10 minutesName the emotion: “I feel uneasy because I can’t control the outcome.”End with grounding: “Thank you for listening — I’m releasing this now.”Use a Creative Reminder to finishFor the listener:Stay groundedListen without fixingReset with breath or prayer afterwardGood listening is a mirror, not a sponge.   Worry feels like action, but it’s really the mind trying to regain control.
Coaching yourself moves you from worry-driven action → wisdom-driven action.Let me leave you with one of my Creative Reminders, 561. Worry is not my partner. I am awakening to the understanding that all choices have consequences. The freedom to choose is both a privilege and a responsibility — one I accept with God as my guide.  (A shorter version:  I release worry and embrace the freedom to choose wisely, with God as my guide.). Use this Creative Reminder to Pause, reflect, and intentionally choose courage and trust.Tonight, notice one worried thought. Ask:
“How can I raise my energy? How can I see the possibilities?”A short Creative Reminder to think of right before bed:
“Peace is   Thank you for listening. Remember, your mind learns calm all day long — so give it the practice of peace, and your brain, body, and heart will follow.

Welcome back to Real Positive Change. Today we’re talking about something that often hides behind well-meaning smiles — toxic positivity. We’ve all heard phrases like: “Just stay positive.” “Good vibes only.” “Everything happens for a reason.” While those phrases might sound uplifting, sometimes they actually create more pressure, shame, and emotional disconnection than peace. So let’s unpack this together — what toxic positivity really is, why it’s harmful, and how we can cultivate something healthier — a hope that is honest and grounded in faith. DEFINING TOXIC POSITIVITY Toxic positivity is the belief that no matter how difficult things get, we should only have positive thoughts and emotions. It’s the idea that feeling sad, angry, or fearful means you’re doing something wrong — or that you’re lacking faith. But here’s the truth: emotions aren’t sinful — they’re signals. They tell us something about what we’re thinking, believing, and experiencing. When we shut them down or shame ourselves for feeling them, we disconnect from our own humanity and from the comfort that God wants to give us. WHY IT’S HARMFUL When we deny or minimize emotions, we actually create more suffering. We might say things like, “I shouldn’t feel this way.” “I have so much to be grateful for — I need to snap out of it.” But instead of lifting us up, those thoughts add layers of guilt and isolation. We stop being honest with ourselves, and that honesty is what allows healing. It’s not faith to pretend everything is fine — faith is bringing everything that’s not fine to God. HEALTHY HOPE VS. TOXIC POSITIVITY Healthy hope doesn’t deny pain — it makes room for it. It sounds more like: “This is really hard — and God is still here.” “I’m scared — and I’m also trusting.” That one small word, AND, changes everything. It bridges our humanity with God’s divinity. It allows us to hold truth and trust at the same time. That’s the kind of hope that renews our mind and strengthens our spirit. This is where the S.T.E.A.R. model comes in — a powerful tool to help us see what’s really creating our emotions. It stands for: Situation → Thought → Emotion → Action → Result The situation itself doesn’t cause how we feel — our thoughts about it do. When we change our thoughts, we shift the emotion that follows. And from that new emotion, we act differently and create new results in our lives. This isn’t about pretending everything’s okay. It’s about choosing thoughts that open our hearts to God’s power rather than closing it with fear or discouragement. A PERSONAL STORY There was a time in my life when this truth became very real for me. I was in a long, emotionally draining season — caring for someone who was deeply broken. Each morning, I woke up with the same thought: “I have to face this all over again today.” That single thought would drain me before the day even began. One morning, as I prayed for strength, I felt prompted to begin saying something different — before my old thoughts could even start. The phrase that came to me was simple: “This is going to be a great day.” So the next morning, the moment my eyes opened up, I began saying it over and over — almost like a cheer welcoming in the sunlight. Did my situation change? No. But I changed. That one phrase lifted my emotional energy. It helped me start the day with hope instead of dread. Through that choice, I was saying to God, “I am open for You to fill me.” It wasn’t denial — it was spiritual alignment. It was choosing to let my thoughts create an emotion of faith rather than fear. When I look back, I see that I had walked right through the S.T.E.A.R. model: Situation: I was overwhelmed and exhausted. Thought: “I can’t face this again today.” Emotion: Hopelessness and fatigue. Action: Wanting to avoid. Result: More exhaustion and disconnection. But when I changed the thought to, “This is going to be a great day,” my emotion became hope and courage. My action changed — I got up, I moved forward, and my result was renewed strength. That’s not toxic positivity — that’s faith in action. It’s the practice of choosing a thought that invites God’s power into the moment. THE TAKEAWAY — THE “AND PRACTICE” Here’s your takeaway for today — something simple you can put into use right away: When you find yourself overwhelmed or discouraged, practice the “AND” statement. Say to yourself: “This is hard… and I’m learning to trust.” “I feel sad… and I know God is near.” “I’m tired… and I can still choose a thought that renews my hope.” The AND Practice helps you stay emotionally honest while keeping your heart open to God’s renewing power. SOULFUL SEED If today’s conversation spoke to you — if you’re ready to practice this kind of honest hope and emotional renewal — I’ll be offering a free one-hour coaching class called “Unplug from Holiday Stress.” November 11. 2025. Go to https://realpositivechange.com/freecoaching It’s a gentle space to reset your emotional energy and learn how to move from stress to strength using creative journaling and faith-based tools. I’ll be sharing more details soon, but I wanted to plant that seed — because this kind of restoration is possible for you. Remember, emotional awareness is not weakness — it’s wisdom. And choosing a faithful thought is not denial — it’s strength. You can feel deeply and still rise with hope. You can grieve and still experience joy. You can face stress and still stay grounded in peace. That’s what it means to live Real. Positive. Change.

Welcome to Real Positive Change, where faith, creativity, and emotional renewal come together. I’m your host, Cathy Freeman — helping women move from stress to strength through art, mindset, and God-centered living. Today’s episode is called “When Words Become Energy: The Real Power of Affirmations.” Here’s what you’ll discover in this episode: Why words are not neutral — and how the language you use shapes your emotions and your energy.   The science behind affirmations — how your words literally rewire your brain. WORDS ARE NOT NEUTRAL Let's start by saying that words are not neutral. They’re not just sounds or letters — they’re energy. Think of them as seeds planted in the soil of your mind. Every word you speak, especially to yourself, becomes a signal your brain takes seriously. If the seeds are fear or self-doubt, you grow anxiety and burnout. If the seeds are peace and confidence, you grow stability and creativity. When someone says, “I believe in you,” your chest lifts, your breathing deepens. When someone says, “You always mess things up,” your energy drops. That’s not just emotion — that’s neurology. Your brain processes words as real experiences. Recently, I was helping a family member through something difficult. And even the word “heavy” — as I said it — tightened my shoulders and shortened my breath. But when I shifted to, “This is a meaningful responsibility. God is with me in this. I am guided and capable,” something changed. The situation didn’t — but I did. That’s the power of affirmations: they don’t deny reality — they redefine how we meet it. They transform heavy into holy. They turn fear into faith — one word at a time. There’s a growing field of research in neuroplasticity — the idea that your brain can change and grow new pathways throughout your life. Every thought is like an electrical spark. When you repeat a thought — “I can’t handle this” or “I’m learning to take one step at a time” — you strengthen that neural pathway.   Language literally shapes your brain. Studies in psycholinguistics show that what you say to yourself doesn’t just describe your world — it creates it. And science confirms this: Affirmations activate the brain’s reward and motivation centers. They calm the threat response, lowering cortisol — your stress hormone. And they make you more resilient to stress over time. So yes, affirmations are not just “positive talk.” They’re brain training. When you speak words of truth and love to yourself, your body relaxes and your focus strengthens. That’s the biology of faith in action.   Let’s do a short reflection together. Close your eyes if you can. Think of a situation that feels heavy right now. Notice the word that describes it — maybe overwhelming, lonely, or hopeless. Now take a slow, deep breath… And ask yourself: What’s a higher word I could use instead? Maybe overwhelming becomes stretching me. Lonely becomes a sacred pause. Hopeless becomes a work in progress. Heavy becomes holy. Feel the shift. That’s not imagination — that’s your nervous system responding to higher-frequency language.   Inside my Real Positive Change framework, I teach the S.T.E.A.R. Model — Situation, Thought, Emotion, Action, Result. Most people try to change their actions without ever changing the thoughts behind them. But your thoughts are the bridge between emotions and outcomes. That’s where affirmations become powerful. They help you re-pattern thoughts so you can shift emotions, actions, and results. This is also why I created the Creative Reminders Library — a collection of affirmations organized by emotion and energy. They’re words you can hold, display, and return to — daily invitations to peace, courage, and alignment.   Affirmations aren’t about pretending everything’s perfect. They’re about choosing which direction you want your thoughts to grow. They: Interrupt negative loops. Feed your subconscious healthy language. Raise your emotional frequency over time. When you say, “I’m not enough,” your body lives in that story. But when you say, “I’m learning and becoming stronger every day,” your brain literally rewires toward peace and resilience. Take a deep breath. Now say — out loud or silently — “I am safe. I am supported. I am becoming the woman I was created to be.” Pause. Feel that. Now say — “I don’t have to have it all figured out. I’m taking one peaceful step at a time.” That small ease you feel? That’s your nervous system relaxing into truth. Start with your current thought. Then flip it gently. Example: “I’m always behind” → “I’m learning to move at a pace that supports me.” “I’m not enough” → “I’m growing into more of who I am.” Keep it believable. Feel it emotionally. Repeat it often — write it, or create an art card reminder.   Small, consistent repetition creates new mental wiring. That’s how you make real positive change. So today, remember: Words are energy. What you say to yourself can either drain your peace or restore it. Affirmations are an act of faith — a way of creating from the inside out. Pair them with your S.T.E.A.R. journaling and Creative Reminder cards. And watch your emotional energy rise — one sentence, one brushstroke, one moment at a time.

Many women are running on fumes — stretched thin, burned out, and downplaying what they’ve experienced just to make it through the day. Over time, we’ve learned to adapt to stress, making it feel “normal” to live in survival mode. But what if there’s another way — a way to feel calm, creative, and fully alive again? In this episode of Real Positive Change, we explore how chronic stress affects not only your emotions but also your physical health and spiritual peace. You’ll discover: * Why do so many women in midlife feel constantly “on edge.” Learn how your body adapts to stress, fear, and anxiety — and why these patterns can make exhaustion feel “normal.” * How emotional adaptations become habits that hold us back. We’ll talk about the hidden ways we protect ourselves from discomfort — by overworking, staying busy, or avoiding connection — and how to gently release those patterns. * A new way to think about healing. Instead of trying to “fix what’s broken,” you’ll learn to ask, “How much more alive could I be?” — and open to possibility, curiosity, and growth. * The S.T.E.A.R. Model: a simple tool for emotional awareness. You’ll see how shifting your thoughts and emotions can change your results — helping you move from stress to strength, and from chaos to calm. * How creativity and faith work together to restore peace. Discover why art, journaling, and reflection aren’t just hobbies — they’re sacred tools that help you reconnect with God’s peace and your divine rhythm. https://realpositivechange.com/freecoaching