Episode 242 -- Aylissa St John -- What If Strength Is Just Choosing Yourself, Again

Ready to rewire how you think about competition, confidence, and community? We sit down with jiu-jitsu competitor and water plant operator Aylissa St. John for a candid, energizing conversation about going first—on the mat and in life—and why you should never leave your story to a referee’s perception. From teen wrestling to modern tournaments, Aylissa breaks down how shifting from reactive to proactive changed her results and her mindset. She details a favorite sweep that needs refining, the sting of stalling calls, and the simple rule that keeps her grounded: set the pace, don’t surrender it.The conversation widens beyond sport into identity, resilience, and belonging. As a Black woman in a male-dominated space, Aylissa names bias without letting it define her ceiling. Cross-training in women-led rooms revived her skill and joy, proving that the right environment can be a growth accelerator. She shares practical ways to build trust in new gyms, manage emotions to avoid injury, and read a room—habits shaped by a disciplined military upbringing and sharpened through real competition.Aylissa also opens up about choosing divorce in her twenties, the shower epiphany that nudged her toward self-preservation, and the power of boundaries, accountability, and forgiveness without apologies. Then she flips the script on rest and creativity by revealing how crochet—yes, crochet—became a flow-state counterpart to grappling. Her brand, Naughtylicious, turns hats and custom sets into wearable wins, and her approach to customer feedback mirrors her approach to matches: take action, learn fast, keep building.If you’re chasing better—on the mats, at work, or in your own head—you’ll find tactical insights and real warmth here: lead the exchange, pick your rooms, and choose yourself with intention. Follow Aylissa on Instagram at Aylissa for training and life, and at naughtylicious for custom crochet. If this resonated, tap follow, share it with a friend who needs a push to go first, and leave a quick review so more curious listeners can find us.Music "STOMP" used by permission of artist Donica Knight Holdman and Jim Huff