Episode #3: Stop Guessing What to Say in DMs (Ask These 3 Questions Instead)

Host: Lisbeth GrahamIf you’ve ever stared at your inbox and thought, “I don’t know who to talk to,” this episode is for you. Your DMs don’t feel awkward because you need a better script—they feel awkward because you don’t have enough context.In this episode, I’m breaking down my FIRE Method for DM market research so you can start conversations with confidence, collect real audience language, and build content + messaging that actually lands—without sounding salesy.I’m Lisbeth Graham, a business alignment coach for service-based pros. Since 2023, I’ve helped over a dozen women get clear on their audience, align their offer, and confidently sell in the DMs without scripts. Burn the script.What you’ll learnWhy DMs feel “salesy” even when you’re not pitchingThe difference between cold outreach and warm context (and why it matters)The FIRE Method:Ignite: who to DM (warm people only)Spark: what to ask (3 question types)Flame: how to use their words for hooks, content, and offer messagingThe exact DM openers to start research convos without being weirdYour simple homework: 3 warm contacts, max 3 questionsThe FIRE Method (quick breakdown)IGNITE (who to DM):Start with warm people:engaged with your postsreplied to your storiespast conversationspeople in your communitySPARK (what to ask):Ask questions in 3 categories:Pain: “What’s the hardest part of ___ right now?”Attempts: “What have you tried so far?”Outcome: “If this was solved, what would change for you?”FLAME (how to use it):Save their exact words and use them for:hookscontent topicsmessagingoffer refinementsales page languageTry this DM opener (copy the structure, not my exact words)“Hey ___, quick question—can I ask you something?”“Hey ___, I’m doing a little research. What’s the hardest part about ___ right now?”“You mentioned ___ before—what’s feeling most frustrating about it lately?”Your homework (keep it simple)Pick 3 warm contactsAsk no more than 3 questions totalSave their exact words in a doc (your “copy bank”)Use one sentence as a hook in your next post🔥 Free 5-Day Spark the Conversation Challenge:Join here → Challenge✨ New membership coming soon: The Phoenix ExperienceIf you want weekly support with audience clarity, offer alignment, messaging, and simple DM sales—this is for you.Reply “PHOENIX” to my email list or DM me on IG and I’ll send details when it opens.📲 Follow me on Instagram: instagram.com/coachlisbethgrahamMentioned in this episodeDM Market ResearchAudience clarity + offer alignment“Burn the script” approach to salesKeywords / tags (optional)DM sales, Instagram DMs, market research, target audience, ideal client, offer alignment, messaging, content hooks, story selling, sales without scripts, service-based business, women in business