Episode 32 - If I can just fix this situation… then I’ll feel better.

https://realpositivechange.com   Podcast Title: When Your Mind Won’t Stop: Overthinking DIY Peace in the Present   Intro: Have you ever noticed how your mind can just… keep going? You replay conversations. You think ahead to what might happen. You try to figure things out before they even happen. And before you know it… you’re not in today anymore. You’re somewhere in the future—trying to control something that hasn’t even happened yet. And it’s exhausting. Today, I want to talk about overthinking… why your brain does it… and how to gently bring yourself back to the present—without fighting your thoughts.   Segment 1: What overthinking really is Overthinking often feels like problem-solving. But most of the time… it’s not solving anything. It’s your mind trying to: predict prepare and protect you from discomfort Your brain is asking: “What if this goes wrong?” “What if they respond this way?” “What should I do so this turns out okay?” And it keeps going… because it’s trying to create certainty. But here’s the truth: The future is uncertain. And your brain doesn’t like that. So it keeps talking… hoping if it thinks long enough, it will finally feel settled. But it rarely does.   Segment 2: A real-life example Let me give you a simple example. You send a text… and they don’t respond right away. Your mind starts: “Did I say something wrong?” “Are they upset?” “Should I send another message?” “What if this changes things?” And now you’re no longer just waiting for a response… You’re in a full story your brain created. But what is actually true in that moment? You sent a message. They haven’t responded yet. That’s it. Everything else… is the mind trying to fill in the unknown.   Segment 3: When we create expectations for others Overthinking shows up strongly in relationships. We start to imagine: “They should respond this way…” “They’ll probably say this…” “This is how it needs to go…” And without realizing it, we’ve created a whole expectation. But anytime we set ourselves up for another person to act a certain way… we set ourselves up for disappointment. Because we don’t control their response. And our peace becomes tied to something outside of us.   Segment 4: Using “Story” to calm the mind So how do we quiet that mental chatter? We come back to the present… through story. Not the imagined story of the future… but the true story of right now. Ask yourself: “What is actually happening in this moment?” Right now: I’m sitting here I’m breathing I don’t have all the answers yet and that’s okay This grounds your mind. Because overthinking pulls you into imagined stories… but peace lives in the present one.   Segment 5: Why we keep overthinking Here’s the deeper reason we do this… We’re trying to avoid a feeling. We don’t want to feel: rejected uncertain disappointed out of control So we try to think our way around the feeling. But thoughts can’t remove emotional discomfort. They usually just delay it… or amplify it.   Segment 6: Thought work—choosing your path So what do we do instead? We shift into what I call thought work. You gently tell yourself: “I’m willing to feel whatever comes… even if I don’t like it.” And then: “I have two options here.” And this is important… Neither option is perfect. Both options may come with discomfort. And that’s where most people get stuck— they’re trying to find the option that feels good. But often… 👉 There isn’t one. So instead, you ask: “Which option do I want to choose… knowing I can handle the feelings that come with it?” That’s where your power is.   Segment 7: Making peace with not feeling peaceful Sometimes we’re not trying to solve the situation… We’re trying to feel better right now. We want relief. We want the feeling to go away. But what if the goal isn’t to feel better immediately? What if the goal is to become okay… even when you don’t feel okay? There’s a quiet strength in saying: “I don’t feel peaceful right now… and I’m still okay.” And when you stop fighting the feeling… it often softens on its own.   Segment 8: Another example Let’s say you’re waiting on a decision… Your mind starts racing ahead: “What if it doesn’t work out?” “What will I do next?” “How will this affect everything?” And suddenly you’re living in a future that hasn’t happened. Instead, you come back: “Right now… I’m waiting.” “Right now… I don’t know yet.” “Right now… I am okay.” That’s how you interrupt overthinking.   Segment 9: A guided moment Let’s take a short moment together. Pause. Take a slow breath in… and let it out. Now gently ask yourself: “What is true right now?” Not tomorrow. Not later. Just right now. Let your shoulders soften. You don’t have to solve anything in this moment. You just have to be here.   Segment 10: When we try to change the situation We often think: “If I can just fix this situation… then I’ll feel better.” So we try to control it. But many times… the situation isn’t the real issue. It’s how we feel about it. And when we try to change the situation just to avoid discomfort… we stay stuck in the cycle.   Segment 11: A simple way forward The next time your mind starts racing… Pause. Breathe. And ask: “What is true right now?” Then remind yourself: “I can handle what comes… even if it’s uncomfortable.”   Closing: Your mind isn’t broken. It’s trying to protect you. But it doesn’t need to run ahead to do that. You can bring it back… gently… again and again.   Outro: So today, when your thoughts start to spiral… come back to your story. Not the imagined one… but the one you’re actually living in this moment. Because that’s where your peace begins. And from that place… you can always take your next step.