Episode 50 -What's Really Going On When Your Teen Pushes You Away?

When your affectionate child suddenly transforms into a teenager who rolls their eyes, snaps back, or avoids you completely, it can feel painful and personal. In this episode of Just One Thing for Parents, Bettina Hohnen speaks with journalist, mother of four, and bestselling author Lorraine Candy about why teenagers often act like they "hate" their parents — and how understanding what's happening in their developing brains can make all the difference. Lorraine reflects on her own experience of raising four children through adolescence, and how learning about the neuroscience of the teenage years helped her stop taking their behaviour so personally. Together, she and Bettina explore the physiological and emotional shifts that happen between 12 and 25, when the teenage brain is being taken apart and rebuilt, and why this process can leave young people overwhelmed, irritable, or quick to anger. They also discuss the power of recognising what Lorraine calls the "rupture and repair" cycle – the inevitable conflicts that arise in family life, and the vital opportunity to reconnect and rebuild afterwards. Lorraine offers reassurance that this stage, though challenging, is both normal and necessary for teenagers to become independent, emotionally intelligent adults.  This episode is a reminder to parents that the teenage years are not about losing connection, but reshaping it.