Welcome to the Life's A Pitch Podcast, the show where we pitch the best movies that will never get made. I'm Tom McGrath. And I'm Matt Sermon. This is the podcast where we ask you to listen to give us a title of a movie that doesn't exist.
Yet, we then collaborate to create a pitch for that movie, complete with casting, story beats, and sometimes even marketing. Without further ado, this week's main feature is... Urban Fantasy! Urban!
Urban! Urban Fantasy! Urban Fantasy! Yes, so think of your blades.
Your death becomes her. Death becomes her. That's a niche one already. I mean, you've got to get in there, diversify the portfolio of imagination, Tom.
Yeah? Yeah, no. Diversify your portfolio of imagination. Diversify it!
I say diversify! Um, Jimangie. Jimangie, you're his art material. Oh, you're cosmic horrors.
Oh, you're cosmic horrors. Yeah, just those ones. It's a toy in Magic Portal fantasy. Yeah, all manner of werewolf, nonsense, ghosts and ghouls, witchers, covens.
Anything that could be existing in your town right now. Right under your nose. Yeah. And there's a slayer out there.
Do you know any new killer in all? Oh, yeah. I don't know if that's got any magic in it, but... Maybe who knows what you say, fine.
Yeah. The only magic is how all that cheese stays on the pizza. So, yes, we're doing urban fantasy this week, because genre which we are familiar with. We can't for a minute thought we weren't.
And then, um, we discussed it and then we're like, yeah, no, no, there's loads of them. There's loads of them. They're all hidden beneath the surface. Yeah.
You just have to look around. Just got a look. Yeah. All those movies that you thought were quite unique and interesting and formative turns out they're all urban fantasy movies.
Yeah. Yeah. To some degree, E. Big trouble in a little China.
Yeah. Yeah. Those are the kind of movies we're pitching this week. And I just want to thank everyone who gave us urban fantasy film titles.
Yeah. I just want to thank them now. I just want to thank them. And also, tell everyone who's listening who's not got involved already to go over to our social media sites.
Yeah. So, if you want to go to Facebook, we are Facebook.com forward slash, which we've gotten quite self-formal conspiratorial to. Yeah, no, yeah. We're in a library.
We're in a haunted library. I see this. That's the kind of vibe I'm going for. We've got books left behind.
We also want to thank people on Blue Sky. We are Blue Sky, Life's a Bitch Podcast. Keep on turning my volume. And making it so you're like that.
Not leaning in enough. I'm not leaning in enough. I want to thank people on Blue Sky as well. Yeah.
If you want to go to Blue Sky, Blue Sky.com forward slash, Life's a Bitch Podcast. I think we'll just look as a Pumbly Sky. Yeah. Life's a Bitch Podcast.
Bitch. Gotta be skinny. Bitch. And Patreon.com.
If you want to go there, we are Patreon.com forward slash for Life's Bitch Podcast as well. So thank you to everyone. Again, as I've said, who gave us titles because without you, there wouldn't be a show. Wouldn't be no show.
Alright, so from Reese Hall, we've got Gnomes in Homes. Gnomes in Homes. Gnomes under the Hammer. This is the Alan Partridge method of picking up.
I'm going to go around chasing Gnomes with Hammer. I think, okay, this would be quite cool. I think this is kind of a reality TV show. We don't focus on the show at all.
This is someone who does these reality TV shows where they, you know, take houses, like, kind of. They go with someone's house. They're like, oh, my interior design is bad and all that sort of thing. And they get a close up, right?
Is it like the Gnomes that come and fix your socks? Oh, it could be. I was thinking that they kind of come across this trail of like, oh, every house we've come to, there have been these weird Gnomes that we cleared out. And we've like, you know, put them to one side and they keep coming back.
Yeah. Right? Like, they do this interior design thing. Yeah.
They're like, oh, look at this, like, Laura's the way I'm going where there. And look at this beautiful fur curtains. Oh, and look at this beautiful fur curtains. That's my, Laura's the one I know.
Look at these beautiful fur curtains. I heard much room. They got a lot of London. I heard that because I think the last thing he did was like a winter wonderland, which is basically like a Christmas market type thing where he got like, and it was apparently fucking awful.
Like sort of Charlie in the chocolate factory experience. That sort of thing. Yeah. Wow.
Got a couple of two reindeer in a muddy field. Oh, I remember this. Yeah. And I'm not 100% certain we didn't pitch that.
That might have been where we're in this room. Anyway, so this is a poor road. And he's like, look at these beautiful fur curtains that I've got. Tobi does on them.
Yeah. Look at them. I'm poor. I'm poor.
The interior designer. He's got a cape on. And his personal assistant played by Natalie Portman. Yeah.
And she's, she's, this is her like, I know she's a veteran. Yeah. She's a veteran who's PA or she a newbie. Both.
Both. She's getting back in the game after many years off. Many years off. Yeah.
An injury to her hamstring. And that'll stop you being a PA. Yeah. Yeah.
A minor injury. A football injury. But he did a running around quite a lot. Anyway, anyway, they go to a house that's full of horrible, disgusting gnomes.
Like, garden gnomes. His collection's awful. And he's like, when they come back, they're going to love my new design, right? And then they come back and like, oh, right.
Yeah, it's really, really nice. But it's different to what he left here. Yeah. Yeah.
But like, well, the people come back in. They finish the show up. But then they do the thing where they come back in, you know, five weeks later to see how they're, they've been getting on a house. Oh, yes.
All the gnomes are back. The gnomes are back. The house is basically as it was left. It's like Ramsay's kitchen nightmares where he comes back like a few years later, a few weeks later.
And like the places come to shit. He's like, oh, well, you know, he just didn't listen to me. And it's, who is the, who is the person who's on the table of the show? It's Mark Addy.
Okay. Okay. Mark Addy's head. Yeah.
And he's like, and he goes, I can't help noticing the gnomes are back. And he's like, the what? Before this, Mark Addy's home was it was like a hoarder nightmare. Yes.
And it'd been transformed, cleaned, all that sort of thing. Right. And the clutter has started coming back. Yeah.
You know, they've done the whole thing with a decluthier house. Yeah. You've got rid of all the gnomes. Yeah.
The first thing to come back with the gnomes. And it's like, I can't help realizing that you know, I mean, you habits have obviously carried on, you're still holding, but why the gnomes? And he's like, what gnomes? What gnomes?
What gnomes? What do you mean? What do you talk about? No gnomes.
And it turns out that like he, he's cursed with these gnomes. He cannot. Mark Addy. Yeah.
Yeah. And, and like they're the ones who are like, they're casting a spell on him to make him horde. Cause they are. It's like evil wombles Tom.
Right. And I know, I know what exactly this film is now. Yeah. It is the film, Mouse Hunt.
Okay. Or, or home alone. Yeah. And I think, yeah.
From the perspective of the Burgers. Yeah. But the gnomes keep on like, wrecking up the place and they've got to redecorate the house. And I think like, we see maybe a few sort of snippets of episodes before and where they've come in and read on the house.
It's wonderful. It's wonderful. It's wonderful. And, but, but like, sort of like Ikea, everything just looks exactly the same.
They've taken all the character away from these people's homes. And like, it's like the live lattle of sign on the wall and stuff. So Paul Rudd needs to get, Paul Rudd, our main characters. Yeah.
Oh, um, Mark Addy and Natalie Corbyn. Yeah. Right. Paul Rudd needs to get this footage and he will not take any, like Natalie Corbyn is fired if they can't get footage of this place spick and span and clean.
Right. And he will not understand. Oh, there's a gnome curse. Well, I think it's the only way around.
I think Paul Rudd. Yeah. Because he's got like, he thinks he's making these people's lives better by taking every bit of character out of their home. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Like a very bland, just sort of like a cutting paste house. Yeah.
Essentially. Yeah. Yeah. He's a landlord style property developer like, he's a little more at the moment.
He's a TV personality. He comes in and thinks he's doing them a favor. Yeah. He's painting a lot of waltz cream.
Yeah, basically. He makes them be Asian and offensive. Yeah. And just like, very minimalist.
And he gets to this one house where there's a gnome curse that he, only he can see. Yeah. Natalie Portman can see. Natalie Portman is very much sucking up to Paul Rudd.
Yeah. And they're a duo who, when they come back to record the sort of few weeks later, this is the first house where something has gone wrong. Yeah. And they're like, and they're like, shit, we've got to make sure this is, this, we can't do this.
We can't leave this as like, as this is, it's like obsession. Yes. We can't get any more shots for this section if we can't, if we can't, we've got to do something about it again. Like Mouse Hunt, like Home Alone, the two, the double act of Natalie Portman, Paul Rudd, have to get these, to basically catch these gnomes and they are bundling around the house, destroying the house, trying to get these gnomes.
Once they found it's the gnomes that are doing it. And Mark, the swinging like ladders around and stuff like that, Mark Addie is just like babies dying outing the whole thing by like sort of missing the ladders and walking around, just to go about his day while Natalie Portman and Paul Rudd are fucking up the place, trying to get these gnomes. Yes. And it's just the slapstick humor.
And it turns out that they were wrong all along. The, you want to work with the gnomes. Yes. You've got to work with the gnomes.
It's kind of like gremlins as in the gnomes are just a force of nature that you need to appease to, I guess that's how gremlins ends. Yeah. You've got to work with what you've got. You've got to work with the taste you have.
I think, yeah, he learns that sort of not all, not everyone wants to have the same house. The same house. Yeah. From an Ikea catalogue.
Effectively. I think that's how this film goes. Yeah. Gnomes in homes.
Gnomes in homes. That's good. Yeah. All right.
So from the deluxe blue flame we've got, so you think you can curse someone. So you think you can curse someone? This is a game show for witches hosted by Noel Edmonds. So this is one of those.
Yeah, definitely hosted by Noel Edmonds. This is definitely one of those where like Noel Edmonds is setting out to prove that magic doesn't exist. You know, like one of these, well, they were blind tests sort of thing. You've never seen these ones where like sort of these shows where someone brings in a dowsing rod person or a person who speaks to spirits and whatever and asks them, gets them to ask what, what cloche a thing is and.
Like the opposite of most haunted. Yeah. Double blind tests that show have disproved charlatans or whatever. Gotcha.
It is just one of. Now, I know, I know that Noel Edmonds has a thing where he like asks the universe for things. He believes that that works when you ask the universe for something then. you channel the right energy and that sort of thing then the universe will provide for you.
It's worked out for him quite well. He's famous and presumably he has a fair bit of money. He did make a bit of a monkey paw thing because now he's followed by the shadow that is Mr Blobby. Exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah definitely like the world's the world's the he asked whatever he asked for fame from.
Lumped him with the genicurse right. Yeah it is very weird how that is actually a thing that happened. So he's doing a thing which sets out he's got a show which sets out to prove that Maddie doesn't exist right but he's got a secret he's got a secret other objective and that is that there is he didn't just ask the universe or something he has the specific street witch for something and she cursed it with Mr Blobby and so they're getting loads of these that you can win prizes if it's cursed someone. Sorry is that true about not what he asked the universe for.
Yeah because that that just clicked everything into my place in my brain for why deal or no deal is how it is. I mean that's that's a copy of a US show isn't it? But the fact that he presents it and like I'm pretty sure deal and I deal around longer in the UK than it did in the year. I think I'm sure it's still going.
Is it? Maybe. Who knows? Who knows if it's still going?
But yeah that's because like his presenting style yeah he is totally on board with like oh this is fate it's not just random like guesswork. He can't just like go in and you're like oh I've got a strong feeling about box 21 or so he'll be like it's just a fucking box. Sorry. But his secret objective is to Leure the specific person who cursed him with Mr Blobby who gave him that cursed wish into the studio so he can have the moment where he goes so you think you can curse someone and get away with it and the lights come up and she's trapped in like a pentagram exactly and the cloth falls away the sign usually says so you think you can curse someone and then underneath the true name of this show is and get away with it.
We think for the first half of this movie that Noel Edmonds is the main character. He's in fact the villain. He's the villain of this. Yeah he starts out he looks like he's trying to disprove a little charlatans but actually his goal all along was to get to this one witch who he knows has magic.
Yeah I think we see like quite a few different people on this game show it's all very much like oh yeah if you can curse this guy you'll get 10 million pounds better look next time or something like that or like yeah he gets a few people on that are just just a bit weird you know people like yeah like spiritual guidance councilors and stuff it's all and he's very much doing the role of a charlatan. How you go? Like and then Mr. Bobby comes out.
No 10 million boots on the backside. No 10 million pounds for you. It's a million pounds. Wow he's putting a lot more in this because I was watching a game show the other day where the I'm pretty certain the high score was a thousand pounds.
Yeah no he's got 10 million pounds. Yeah because he knows that he knows that they're not going to do it. Yeah because he knows that it's fake except for this one person who he never intends to pay because he wants to find the witch you can actually curse someone the witch you curse him. No he's got her trapped and he doesn't need to pay her.
Yeah you know it's like the start of um Sandman. I've never seen it. Okay. Is there a person trapped in a bubble surrounded by concentric pentagram rings?
Yeah and that's when he binds her back with Mr. Bobby the devil. Yes a lot of tries to. He's the villain so we've got to get this witch out of trouble right?
A lot of um jenny koma the witch that he traps and I think it'll do a lot of game show based on all of them. Let's be with you. So from hey Tom remember ski Sunday on patreon we've got quest minster abbey. Quest minster abbey.
So this is proper urban fantasy stuff right? Yeah this is like heart of London. Yep. Um I think it's proper proper proper like fantasy like almost high fantasy quest as a quest.
Arthurian perhaps maybe I think we kind of run the line of you know I was about to say jack but it's not it's hook. Right yes the Robin Williams film hook where you know at the beginning of the movie he's like obsessed with business yes and stuff well this is a partition. He's obsessed with politics yes and just like got no time for his family no time for his friends. No time for the frivolities of ceremony or any of the sort of um any any like anything frivolous anything that like has meaning like he watched it's a wonderful life and didn't get it.
He everyone else was crying yeah his eyes were just dry as a desert yeah at the end of it's a wonderful life. Just like why why did that man not simply sue the angel for holding him against his will yeah he was playing this first. Those angels don't pay taxes uh who's playing this guy. I was thinking um there's a guy in the in the show ghosts sure he's like sort of mighty boosh adjacent I can't remember his name he plays he plays the partition he's died in ghosts oh I know he's got his pants down yeah yeah his name is his name is Simon Simon.
Simon. Yeah. Simon. Yeah yeah he's he's very much like I'm a I'm a to do man yes you know I mean yeah like he's he's rushing around his player right partition like I don't know I think right I think with British politics now a days we could probably get away with we don't know if he's left or right doesn't yeah doesn't fucking matter they'll all they'll all try and cut the NHS and decide that trans people need to be blasted to the moon or something yeah it doesn't fucking matter anymore it's like what we don't have two different parties yeah or indeed any other um so he has to attend a ceremony for the new um the crowning of the the new monarch yeah yeah because he's a politician hmm has to attend this thing and he's like oh he's so ridiculous I want to get on with my business he wanders off to try and find like a Wi-Fi hub or somewhere quiet to do his work and ends up in a in the crypt or something I think he sees like an old man in a robe yeah like just scuttling off in the corner is like hey someone calls security there's got a and and yeah he's got a robe vagrant in the in the abbey he the on the trail of this leads to somewhere where like you know there's something on a something a door that's been sealed or something and he's like he almost come through here and he presses it and he cracks the seal on it oh no oh gosh oh gosh and like the security behind him he's like holding it behind him holding it's like holding this like ancient wax seal behind him like no I mean he must have gone a different way to point itself in a different direction yeah the door behind him like this like this box opens um like anyways it's a door that's like a hatch of some kind it opens and basically what he's done Tom yeah he's let magic back out into the world well this is what I'm thinking yeah so I think um like a dragon comes out out of the box out of the box oh my god a dragon comes out ruins the the um coronation but it's all but all it does is it opens its mouth and it breaks fire yeah right everyone thinks it's a terrorist attack yeah right the dragon flies off and like it's it's now nesting somewhere in big bang on the benefits right like I was gonna say we did have one one title that was dragon on the Millennium Eye okay so we can double this up we could double this up with that look boldly through the Millennium Eye yeah silver bullet gave us a dragon upon the Millennium Eye a dragon upon the Millennium Eye oh the London Eye sorry yeah sure that's something um so I think I think we have this big boom in Westminster Abbey yes and then one dragon appears I think so hear hear me out I think this dragon though I think this magic it's not like this whole world is suddenly transformed into magic world it's the they think of the terrorist attack yeah dragon gets away some people have seen something but maybe the the climax on the movie is uh dragon on the line it gets it gets it gets it slowly gets worse and worse and worse more chaotic as what I don't want is the start of this to be now there's a dragon yeah what I want is there to be like everyone thinks there's been a terrorist attack trying to assassinate all the politicians yeah yeah but um actually it was a dragon nobody would believe anyone who said there was a dragon flying out of Westminster Abbey apart from this guy saw a dragon yes he actually saw a dragon he doesn't want to tell anyone right he just wants like he's basically like he's got a sling on his arm he's got like the the whole um sort of foil blanket round him yes yeah like an ambulance outside restaurant all the emergency services yeah and he goes home that night yeah and he's a little girl well yeah he's got family and stuff and stuff like that and I think she wants to she wants him to read her a bedtime story but he's like he like he starts reading the princess bride but he like gets to the bit where I know that there's like um he starts to read the hobbit yeah and he picks stuff at the kitchen he picks up the cover and he's like no throws out the window well that night I think visited by Merlin yes like but this is like ragamuffin yoda and Empire Strikes Back Merlin like he just going through his fridge and shit just like have you got any food yes yeah yeah who's who is Merlin in this well here's who was my thought is yeah I mean is it like yeah it's like a homeless guy you want to be an old man or should it be like you know a street dog kid in a hoodie I think I think I think it's a homeless man that he's avoided you know she's stationed earlier on a movie sure awesome about that um so like you know like Morgan Freeman and the guy who like he thought he saw going into this room yeah chased after him yeah like I think moved I think had importantly didn't avoid had an awkward interaction with yes right yeah because he's been on TV talking about reducing homelessness yeah but also cutting benefits yes and we've got to cut benefits and build more houses so that we can uh so that we could go to give go to make sure that we can cut taxes for construction companies and they can build more houses to reduce homelessness yeah very much like a massive loot pot if you think about anything he said on any shows like it's like what are you talking about none of this makes sense but because he's like saying he wants to reduce homelessness and then he's talking to this man and this guy's like oh I might even reduce my own this is like he's like avoiding him and like um who is this guy who is it who oh who could play like um who could play sort of mysterious so bummer like let's winch on their eye oh that would be a fun mysterious hobo man oh because it would be Alec Guinness back in there no it wouldn't I guess his way to regal to that jim braw bent it is jim braw bent right jim braw bent because also like we can have a bit later on where um jim braw bent gets completely overcome by like magical like the chaos of magical um the magical power passing through him and it's all eat all the good and all the evil and he sort of like gets a bit like scary crazy yeah you know because jim braw bent is so good at doing like sparkly little happy little man and then suddenly being like i'm purifying switching on the threat yeah yeah he does that a lot in uh only falls and horses does he plays the copper in it just the snitch from school who turned out to be the copper in it because it's very good at that um so i i think it's not like he's on for the ride with julium thaland day yeah um i think he's there to set him on his quest yeah pretty much he's like well you released the dragon yep you've got to put it back in his box yeah you're the one with the seal and he looks at his hand and his kid he had some burn marks and stuff yeah um he takes the bandage off his hand and he's burned into his hand the seal of the the seal of like magic yeah and i think um it's a like it's a case of like oh it's it's so happens it should come to you because your um because the sword is buried the sword that can slay the dragon and put it back in its box is buried at and it's his constituents it's like it's like it's like it's a constituency that he's just ignored because he's like a career politician he basically just doesn't he's been putting a safe seat yes yeah yeah no it wouldn't matter whether it's a safe purple seat yeah because we don't we can't commit to left or right yeah but i guess purple is something else yeah yeah purple is something else uh maroon and i safe burgundy seats yeah yeah a color that doesn't exist in the political spectrum at the moment it's like it's a safe seat um and i think i i think this needs a bit more emotional heart so my go-to is usually that there's a child who's helping who knows all along that it's i think it's his daughter yeah and his daughter is or is very rekeen on um uh like fantasy stories yeah so she knows all the all the law yeah she knows how a dragon works that it's gonna want to hoard stuff that it's gonna want more that it wants tribute and stuff and stuff and he's like what am i supposed to do to the uh to the uh national history museum and get a suit of armor she's like no it'll cook you what your need is uh and then she should even say that she just goes come on and then drags into like the hinder takeaway down town in london yes like and like there's a man who like um who sort of makes like a jeweler's down in london who makes jewelry but also like can make dragon proof armor like he's also like um a sort of merlin figure like a like a old blacksmith type you know blacksmith in um i thought there's always yeah like that i'm just i'm thinking of someone of her um going like we need we also need a wizard and then she takes him to someone who like she's just seen out on the street he's one of those Turkish ice cream guys you know they're like put the ball of ice cream in the thing and then flip it and then it's just like there's a whole thing of like you've got to you've got to get the ice cream cream from him and he learns slight of hand in that sort of like oh now you see it now you don't and later on that i'll come in when he's dealing with the dragon yeah i well he's got a few of the call first i guess he doesn't and then like more things have to like the dragon it gets worse there are like goblin starting to stream out of the bottom of big ben and i think the police are on to him as well like you were seen at the place where the bomb went off yeah like what like what's what's happening it is like it was a dragon honestly like oh he just like i'm gonna be like this will this will look ridiculous the press will go all over me if this comes out that i've said i've seen a dragon yeah um and then like yeah i think as the um maybe it's that the dragon can't be seen until it's revealed right maybe then the reason they need a wizard is to reveal the dragon because it's invisible oh that's cool and then so they have to use the millennium i in order to they have to use a ritual so they put little um something uh what what's a very kind of London ritual object um jelly deals um electric jelly deals yeah and they put them in every single compartment yeah you know just before the door closes everyone who goes into the millennium i he just passes them and then you've got a dial a number in a in a red foam booth and the ritual begins they're like we need somebody to do a ritual circle but there's nowhere in London that's this wide enough circle that could do this ritual and he's like and then they look up and then you're like when he's saying this his head is like framed like a halo behind him yeah and he's got he's got all the people he's met from left and right like an authoritarian painting yeah and he's like got a spade with where his scallopo would be and stuff yeah because he likes his allotment that's the other thing yeah like and he took up his allotment because he thought it would make him look more like Jeremy Corbyn like yeah more approachable but um then he kind of started getting into it yeah you know i just he just wants to be sort of like a career politician and do his dig up garden yeah that's his whole thing yeah oh yeah and yeah i think like as the ritual begins it is the thing the the london i is the thing that reveals the dragon and then of course the dragon comes to try and stop it so that's how we end up with dragon and london i and then he has to try he's like has to try and fight the dragon going back to like the dragons invisible yeah like does he tell the press or someone that he saw a dragon yeah that's how like he's everyone's saying like yeah like he's in a secure seat but now everyone's like oh shit like what he's talking about invisible dragon he's yeah like i don't think i don't think he's trying to win back the hearts and minds of people he's like all right i need to i need to do i guess he doesn't i guess he doesn't learn anything he has to learn is to stop giving a shit what people think about him and do this thing this right right yeah there we go there we go that's the crux there we have it is to put aside what what it looks like and also reconnecting your daughter and and your wife and stuff because because of the kids angle is um she loves you know the stories of heroes you know the stories of people who do things that are right no matter what yeah and um you know she wants to see her dad as a hero but she can't because everywhere she looks he's this controversial politician yeah you know like you know he's supposed to be a leader but he isn't but everyone hates him yeah yeah he's one of those politicians that he just universally hated by everyone but still inexplicably gets voted for yeah it's uh yeah that's a really fun idea yeah me too i'm just one of those ones where it's like i don't know how he fights the dragon i think we just figure that out yeah he gets superpowers who knows who knows who knows he uh he taxes the dragon taxes the dragon to death he laces to not the dragons on he does it like threatens the dragon that he does it doesn't he'll tax all the income yeah he baffles but baffles and marbles the dragon and then and then and then basically does he helps he has the sleight of hand thing where he's sort of like oh you know um and this is where we've put all of your horde and he's like showing showing the dragon like an empty big bend where it's been so you know and uh and he's showing him all these community projects yeah he's put the horde towards and the dragon's like all right well i guess i'll get back in the box um i think no he's like oh yeah and i've magically put all your horde into this saving the count he's like he's got you know he's tablet which is showing the screen shots of you know and then and he's like and i'm putting that in this box right and then he's got another box is the box that the dragon came out of yeah and he's in he's right right so he's like he does like kind of find the lady sort of mix and match we can we can rework it if we ever come back to it yeah who knows who knows he defeats the dragon he's the dragon yeah in uh on live tv that was a good one and the dragon goes back in the box and everyone sort of forgets that magic ever existed yeah but they've got a slightly better opinion of of him son finally yeah that's it there we are thank you for that one hate time remember ski sunday west minster abbey gres minster abbey great good love so those were all our film titles this week thank you to everyone who found us on our social media sites and gave us uh film titles for us a pitch movies for uh so if you want to go to those sites again you can find us on facebook.com forward slash live switch podcast we are live switch podcast on blue sky and on patreon.com forward slash live switch podcast as well you can find us there find us there and give us money that's all i've got to say about that on patreon patreon you can try and give us money on bisky.social but uh you know the best place to do that is on uh on the patreon patreon yes um bear in mind if you're trying to message us on on live switch podcast dot bisky dot social we can't currently because the uk's weird porn laws have mean mean that literally we are unable to um receive messages on social media platform until we prove that we're over 18 that's a that's a fun just a fun little bit of English culture there i guess i i can see why that's a thing yeah but yeah it's uh yeah bizarre puritanical nonsense um so yeah go to patreon.com forward slash live switch podcast it's a place that you can keep the podcast going by joining us in in the ranks of our uh we didn't we ever name the pitch fans pictures pictures no the picture picture plants um uh no we didn't name our followers no no uh yeah they name themselves uh because those of you who uh are executives yeah those of you who give us a little bit of money each month um get to vote on the genre but you also get to uh get your name right on so um here are those names thank you to spanky thanks to Ross originals let's ditch the Gregorian character calendar and do a new one then we can make a new new year any ideas for month names steven d Thomas turns out pug bean gives you a month's grace when you stop paying so orcs our dogs is still up for now fingers the hand oh wow the semaphore monster says down left up down left up left down left upright down left upright with its fleshy flags orcs our dogs have lost the war and will be crushed into oblivion in august or maybe slaty later james delaney chomonsy this is activation phrase gamma of three if you've not been recruited you will hear a ringing noise in your ear for the rest of your life this name intentionally left blank daily benson feelitzers condition is not being described by dr oatker as serious but stable why are there little guys in my phone how do i remove them without tooth pasting them do i need to push food food into my phone bakers grunion i think that's one of the new months bakers grunion um brent black teaching the twelfthteenth of bakers grunion you know brent black teaching toms that about you go hey tom remember ski sundae buffa buffa clown baby half Anna Deexperts to hyper asbestos joseph Henchapon Your Activation phrases worm buckets you will now believe that you love dune i do love dune so you think name removed from being Gears of Fact like they didn't even try to make it believable user arrested for their arrested for their crimes, the serial dragon and family.
Do you remember how John Cakesh's four minutes 33 goes? Allow me to demonstrate. I'm not going to do the whole thing, it's quite a lot like that. I do my daily prayers to the BBC, coming soon, meet big husks.
Please honk for a praise if you wish to appear on the 24-hour numbers broadcast to raise money for Tom's thing. I need to flag the fact that that name particularly, they appear to have put in spaces and extra letters completely randomly. Alright. Hark the herald angels sing of the second Patreon account to get created to join this stupid ARG.
Don't maybe do this 24-hour thing with no guests to them, Tom's parents, also on a big tower near the station, who volunteered immediately. Zoey! Breaking into lines of pitch towers while the gang are busy reading the Patreon names, god damn it, I've not been chewing brioche for ages, get your app together, time to rotate those hubcaps and get this party started. And finally, this is the news.
Pylon removal once and a generation opportunity. I guess that's like one of those news ads. Yeah, I guess. I saw one of those AI-generated sponsored ads the other day, saying, scientists are saying this about solar panels, and there was just an AI-generated image of this old man stood on a road with like a bonfire made of solar panels.
Jesus! And I was like, I have no idea what this is. You can burn them for once. Yeah.
I had no fucking clue what was going on there. I said to my mate, I was like, what is this? Because also the ones going around about whiskey investments as well. Just an AI person standing in front of a load of whiskey barrels.
He's going, invest in whiskey now. One, that's a whiskey investment, actually. Yeah, I guess. If you're a whiskey rabbit, that is.
So we end the show as we always do with the S for E clever award, which is the award we give as a title based around the existing title and just had a bit of fun with it. So this week he goes to Stuart Dallop, who's given us Ghost in the Shell petrol station. Because of the lot. Yeah, yeah.
But the fact that it's the ghost of a seagull covered in foil. Just haunting the workers at a local petrol station. Not like the people in the show. Not just seagull, even though.
Yeah. Can't imagine being haunted by a ghost seagull. Just because you work at a petrol station. Yeah, that'd be the worst kind of ghost though.
Take all your chips from it. Oh, God. A poltergull. So until next week I've been Tom and Grah.
I've been Matt and remember who pinched it.