Welcome to the Life's A Pitch Podcast, the show where we pitch the best movies that will never get made. I'm Tom McGrath. And I'm Matt Turner. This is the podcast where we ask you to listen to give us a title of a movie that doesn't exist.
Yet, we then collaborate to create a pitch for that movie, complete with casting, story beats, and sometimes even marketing. Without further ado, this week's main feature is... Book Adaptation! So, but Bill!
Head to Head Pitching! As a follow-up from the previous episode, due to slightly compressed recording opportunities... Yes. ...rolling on from the last episode into a head-to-head pitch where we each are going to give each other a book title.
Yeah. And the other one's going to try and pitch... ...just move the movie adaptation of that book. Yes, so can you come from Tom?
Well, we've had to head pitch as always. No, I'm not feeling confident at all. It's quite scary for us, but it's quite a scary prospect. Especially, yeah, I keep saying this every time we do this, but it's...
Yeah, so one of us is going to pitch a movie by themselves based off of the title the other one gives us and vice versa. So, yeah, we're going to swap around halfway through the episodes. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm not...
No, no, no are too keen on these, but as needs must, because I'm going on a holiday next week. You don't get any better if you don't do it? No, no, fair enough. Practice, practice, practice.
Practice for what? Nothing. Nothing. No good reason.
No good reason. Maybe a producer's meeting later on in life, in which I... Or a dream I have, in which I'm studying for a bunch of Hollywood producers having to make up a film on the spot. But that's what we're doing this week.
So, obviously, we've not got titles from people. No. I'm going to give us a follow. Like you always do on the Facebook, Blue Sky, Patreon.
Yeah. Last pitch podcast.biscu.social. Yes. Those are the places you can go to find us and supporters and give us titles for future episodes.
Yes, indeed. So, if you go over there, you can do. So, should we flip a coin? Sure, you have a coin?
No. Got a pronoun badge. It's quite one sided. Yeah, I guess.
I've got a dice here. Name three numbers between one and six. How about I go one, two and three and you do four, five and six? That's much better.
Just like, quite like the randomness of like six, two and one. You take our dice again. Cool. All right.
You're all done. Odds, it is. You first. All right, so me first.
So, what title have you got for me this week, man? Well, as I said, Tom, I've never read a book, but I do have one in my bag that I do pretend to read. Okay. And that is Entangled Life by Merlin Sheldrake.
Oh, okay. Entangled Life. Entangled Life by the sweet life of Zach and Cody or like, you know, the entangled life of Michael and Peter? The life of Chuck or something?
What's that film? That's the other Stephen King movie this year. What? With Mark Hamill.
No, Chad play. The life of Chuck or something like that? There's two Stephen, four Stephen King adaptations, two of which have Mark Hamill in. It's a big span.
It's fucking weird. So, yes. So, Entangled Life. This feels very much like one of those movies that we get just loads of different stories.
Yeah. Oh, like Crash. Yeah. Yeah, the Brendan Fraser.
Yeah. One of my way, I'm like, oh, well, you've just got to understand things from the perspective of the racist. Yeah. And that's very much what I'm doing with this movie.
One time. One time a guy was mean to a racist. Oh, no. And now you have to be on their side.
Oh, that poor guy. So, yeah, Entangled Life, this is going to be one hell of a pitch to do by myself. You said the bones. I know I made my bed.
Now I'm going to have to sleep in it as well. So, we're at a park. Yeah. Establishing shot.
And there's an old establishing shot. You see loads of people just wandering around. Yeah. Damon Albarn's there jogging, going round and round and round.
Yeah. And there's an old man. Yeah. Sat on a bench feeding the ducks.
As you'd expect. And he is watching this little kid with his parents just feeding the ducks. Splash, splash, splash. Give me some more bread, mummy.
I'm going to throw them at the ducks. And the one's like, you don't throw them at the ducks. You throw them for the ducks. And his kids are just like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like throwing them, launching them at the other ducks, said, this old man who is played by Timothy Chalamet. Ooh. Now. Old man Timothy Chalamet.
So, you may be thinking, that's not an old man. He's not an old man. But I'll get to this. Okay.
That's part of the entanglement. That's part of the entanglement. He's bunting the time. So, we've got Timothy Chalamet, an old man make up.
Yeah. Just chucked into himself just like. I like it when ducks are throwing things through. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, he just remembers when he was very youthful. Yeah. And then suddenly, bam. Heart attack.
Oh. He falls off the bench. Oh, he stands up. Oh, oh.
Fools into the water. Has a heart attack. Drowns in the water. Yeah.
Surrounded by ducks. And then. This is like a, as an opening scene. Yeah.
And then high stakes, high stress. Yeah. We're all in now. Yeah, we're all in.
And then one of the ducks flies away. Okay. And we follow the duck. I'm shocked.
Yeah. And we follow the duck as it goes across the park to the man running the ice cream store. Who's like, ah, have your 99s, have your flakes and stuff like that. Play by Lin-Manuel Miranda.
Yes. Have your ice cream. Here, get your ice cream. Babity boopie.
That's his catch raised. Babity boopie. Babity boopie. Babity boopie.
Babity boopie. If you really listen to Hamilton, that's all he's singing. That's all anyone's singing. And also in Mary Poppins.
Yeah, yeah. In the Heights. Yeah. And what's your name, man?
Babity boopie. Babity boopie. Everyone else is singing proper words. Just comes to him.
And yeah, I think he is sold his last ice cream for the day. Sort of sunset. Yeah. He drives home.
He's got a lonely, quite a lonely life. Yeah. And yeah, he goes to sit down, watch his TV. And we watch him watch TV for an incredible amount.
We watch him watch TV. Are we watching what's on TV? Or we just got the over the TV shot of him on the sofa. So we don't know what he's watching on TV.
No, he's watching something live on TV. He's watching the National Lottery Live. With Mystic Meg. With Mystic Meg from the 90s.
Yeah. So, yeah, his life very boring. Yeah. But then we cooked two, the National Lottery Live.
Yeah. And the balls get announced. And then someone in the live studio audience has all the balls for the lottery. Right.
What? Yeah. They stole them more. No, no, no.
They just grab them off. Yeah. Nice. Making mistakes of like, they thought they were stealing the prize, but they stole the balls instead and it's like a confusion.
No, yeah. So, you know, they've won the lottery. Yeah. And they're like, I've won.
Okay. And then, so this is George Clooney. Right. He's like, I've won.
I've won. I've won. I've won. He gets one of those massive novelty checks.
We see him going by a house. And then, dies. Just dies. Just die.
Well, he gets, as his house has been built, a brick falls on him. Oh, man. As this massive McMansion is being built, a brick falls on him. From seeing anything from the sky.
From nowhere. Yeah, yeah. And a little duck is there flying over the place. Yeah, yeah.
I love how we've cast Limma Momoranda in a very, very sort of like not so thrilling. Yeah. As ice cream man. Ice cream man with the most boring life.
Yeah. And yeah, he gets rich with hospital. Yeah. Which is a quieter version of the hospital.
Yeah. He gets rich with hospital. And the ambulance driver drops him off. We don't see George Clooney again.
He's dead early in life. We don't know. We don't know. We're hitting that with a brick.
It's just the ambulance driver. Okay. Who played by Margarabe. Margarabe.
Yeah. She is, she's then pushed on a call to a, uh, uh, pregnancy. Oh, someone's, someone's giving birth. Okay.
I've got to rush off. This is my, this is my thing. I'm going to, this is my thing. This is my thing.
This is my thing. That's what she says. This is my special day. Just take a picture of the pregnant woman.
And, and then we cut to the woman. Yeah. Who's giving birth in the back of the ambulance. Yeah.
And it's ambulance. Right. Looking quite old. It's ambulance.
It's an old style ambulance. Um, as we, as we cut to the outside. And, uh, someone's giving birth. They rush her into the, uh, into the ward.
And she gives birth. And this baby is the sharpest looking baby you've ever seen. The sharpest looking baby. Yeah.
Yeah. It cut his way out of the womb. Kind of. Does it, does it's own cesarean?
Yeah. Does it's cesarean with its chin? Yeah. Black hair.
Oh, it's Timothy Chalamet. Oh, yeah. He's winkle picked his way out of that wound. And then we see this boy, this baby.
Yeah. Bouncing baby boy. Sticking baby boy. Quanking baby boy.
He, he grows up to become baby, it's a baby with a face of two of his chalamet. Yeah. For one. This baby grows up and becomes two of his chalamet.
And then, uh, he gets a really high power business job. Um, and, uh, yeah, he, he then loses it all in the stock market. Yeah. And he's like, I can't come back from this.
But I'm just going to find what, what I really like doing in life. And that is serving ice cream. And by this point, by this point, he looks like Lin-Manuel Miranda. Of course.
So he then selling ice cream and he watches someone wearing the lottery. This is, this is the high point of his life at this point. He's watched someone else win the lottery. He's like, I hope one day that'll be me.
Next week I'm getting a ticket to go and watch the lottery. Yes. Exactly. That is it.
Wow. You, you read my mind. You read my mind. Next.
I really want to go see someone with the lottery and be at the lottery. The, the national lottery is something I fucking love doing. I love Mystic Meg. I love Mystic Meg.
I love the balls. I love the, how all the machines are named after King Arthur. Yep. Thanks.
Yeah. I cannot. So he goes and by the time he gets there he'll take George Clooney. He wins the lottery when he's there.
Himself is watching himself win. Yeah. Bill's his house. It's a big drop top.
It's a big drop top on him. Which if this starts his face. He's like, earlier on in the film. Yeah.
We see him come out of the ambulance but his face is bandaged up like a mummy. Yeah. He goes, Margarabi picks him up. Margarabi the only other person.
No, no, no, no. At some point he becomes Margarabi as well. And so it's my special day. No, I got it right.
Yes. Brilliant. So, I'm not going to say it at this point. I've got it.
I've finally got what happens to you. It's been a while since I've felt like I've had so little control over a bit. Um. Yeah.
Flying by a seat, you've had. Yeah, definitely. Um, there are many timelines in which this film could have been different. Uh, it's one branching off a whole new, in reality.
Every choice I'm making. Um, so yeah. Uh, obviously this point the audience are like, I think I know what's going on. Yeah.
Yeah. Um, bandage taken off. Yeah. Margarabi.
Yeah. So how thankful for how she was treated in the NHS. Yeah. It's all British people.
Trans-a-gender. Yep. And, uh, become a, and wants to become an ambulance driver. Yeah.
Yeah. Then she goes to pick herself up. Yep. Oh, pick on mum up as, uh, this is what she's saying.
This is my time. Yeah. It makes sense now. This is my special day.
She goes back in time to pick up mum up. Does she go back in time? Yeah. Who knows?
Um, and then, uh, trans is her gender again to be an old man in a, in a park looking at ducks. Looking at ducks. There's a hot, there's a big gap. Yeah.
Well, she goes home. Yeah. Watches the lottery. Again.
She's not being important to her. No, no, yeah. Never stop being important to her. She goes home, watches the lottery.
Yeah. Goes, ah, I've got a ticket to watch it next week. Yep. She sees George Clooney win the lottery.
Yeah. George Clooney wins the lottery. Which is a joke. She becomes George Clooney.
Hasn't she already, it didn't loo mum mum around. That's it, turning to George Clooney? You could say. It's entangled.
Oh, it keeps happening. Mm. You'll never know where. Will they ever turn into the old man?
This is the question on the filmmaker's mind. Alright. Yeah. I mean, like, I tell you what, it's better than fucking, uh, a lot of, um, Charlie Kaufman's movies.
So, uh, well, this is the thing. I think it is directed by Charlie Kaufman, isn't it? Um, yes, or Christopher Nolan. Sure.
It's, it's, it's, oh God. Yeah. They could go either way. They could go either way.
I hate this movie just as much as you can. No, no, I think I would probably find a way to enjoy it if it was Charlie Kaufman. So, so if it was Chris Nolan, it would be annoying. If it was Charlie Kaufman, it would be deep.
Yeah. Yeah. That'd be, that'd be, yeah. Um, so.
So, so, yeah. I think that's probably because I would have heard some of the, some of the dialogue if it was, if it was Charlie Kaufman. Yeah. Yeah.
So, I think that's, um, is, is the lottery. She then goes, Oh, I've got tickets to the lottery next week. She turns into George Clooney. George Clooney wins the lottery.
Gets the mansion. Yeah. Head. Yeah.
Head. Yeah. Well, no, George Clooney wins the lottery. Goes, you know what?
I'm not gonna spend it. I'm gonna invest in an ice cream truck. Yeah. Becomes Lind.
Momma. And, and, and supposed to the rest on the stock market. It's the rest on the stock market. Tanking another, tanking that, yeah.
Yeah. And then, it was like, you know what? Money isn't everything. I'm going to become an ambulance driver.
And also. And then Margarobby gives birth, it's Timfichelleame. She then, while getting birth is watching the lottery. I think, I think.
I'm trying to get out of this now, how does this all unravel? It all unravels. It's the dangles. So, oh yeah, and then Timfichelleame, baby.
Yeah. So Timfichelleame, son of Timfichelleame Margarobby now, goes on to become the old man. It wasn't the original old man, like it wasn't the original person. Weirdly repeating series of events.
There we go, I'm out of breath now. That was, that was, that was a tiring to listen to. Yes, it's even more tiring to think up. Yeah, okay, well, how you seen that one?
Could have been better. Yeah, well, do you want to know what entangled life is about? In the book? Please tell me, it's about just a bunch of people all being the same person.
It's a non-fiction book about mushrooms. I was so close. I was so close. Oh, about fungi, I guess.
Well, it was about fungi. Yeah, it was about fungi, that's true. One fungi, his timeline is fun. I think about saying his timeline is fucked.
He's also that. Alright, I hope you all enjoyed that list, that foray into madness. Weirdly, not that hard to keep up with, because you knew what happened in every scene. Yeah, yeah, it was like, it was one of those movies where you sort of play out a scene in full, and then sort of like over time, you sort of know the scenes.
Very much like a time travel, maybe, about any time travel. You have to watch them all in full. Even though you've already seen the scene in full, you have to watch them all in full. Teetious Empire magazine.
However, we did only spend 30 quid on it because we had to set a shoot five scenes and they just played them in different orders. Yeah, yeah. We spent a lot of special effects budget on just more things in different actors. I'm a little round there into different people.
Yeah. It's my turn, isn't it? It's your turn. So, your book title.
It's a book that's already been made into films a few times. Okay, already been done, interesting, interesting. So I think it's a book I know you've not read. The Great Gatsby.
The Great Gatsby. Yeah, okay, cool. I have Scott Fitzgerald. F, Scott Fitzgerald.
You're right, I haven't read this book, I haven't seen the movie. It's one of my favourite books. In fact, I know that because your dad did a reading from it at your wedding. So that's the most of the Great Gatsby I've ever read.
And it wasn't even you read it. No. It was a short audiobook segment from my dad's. Where they were a couple of tears.
Yeah, couple of tears from my dad's. Well, I've had tears. So, the Great Gatsby. Okay, I think Gatsby is such a, like, it's such a very sort of like, it reminds me of like, it might be the friend of Biggles.
You know, Gatsby? You know? The Biggles? Hello, Gatsby.
How are you doing, you know? Like, men down the club. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And men down the, working at the Gentleman's Club.
Feels like a World War II pilot. Oh, yes. Gatsby coming in. Yeah, Gatsby.
And so I think that the Great Gatsby is someone who like... I've killed 60 Hans today. Exactly. I think World War I pilot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's about, this is about a man who loses his way when the first World War ends. Okay.
And because he was an ace pilot back in World War I. He was like Britain's Red Baron. Yes, yeah, exactly. He shot down the Red Baron.
And, but he got used to the, you know, to life on the edge. Yeah. And he can't put it down. And so he turns to doing tricks stunts.
Okay. During the like, during the like, roaring twenties. Yeah, yeah, there's a sort of peacetime between World War. Yeah.
He turns to being basically like, what do they call him? The guy who does big jumps on him. Evil, can evil, sort of stuff. This is so surprising.
Like, to say it's a British airman. This is surprisingly close to the actual story. So I think it's starring, who would make a good Charlie Day? Starring Charlie Day.
Charlie Day, British air pilot Charlie Day. Ah, yeah, good point. It has to be someone sketchy, but English, doesn't it? Yeah.
So. Ooh, who's sketchy, but English? Yeah. And I don't mean sketchy like, like a shady character.
I mean sketchy like, they're the sort of person who would buy into like, get obsessive. Okay. You know? Charlie Cox.
Charlie Cox? Z-devil. Oh, yeah. I can see that.
Yeah, okay. So he's, I think we start this movie with like, a action sequence, but it's all kind of first person. Like, from the cockpit of the biplane, as like, the red baron just like, feet away. Yeah, yeah.
Grinding, like metal grinding on metal as these two planes pass each other. And like grind over. And Charlie Cox was like, you know, barely lost his head. As these two things have a near-miss collision.
And there's sparks everywhere. Guns are rattling. And he's, all we get, the sound effects we most get are like, heightened breathing and heart beating stuff. Like, well, like, two thousand one of space obviously was falling out of the ship.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And like, you know, he like bails out of the cockpit, pulls the, the tumbles for like, like, faster, fast, fast, cause he's gonna, he's gonna nose die. Oh, yeah.
Like barrel roll. Yeah. And pulls his parachute, like looks back and he realises that the red baron's gone down. Oh, wow.
Like, I thought the red bar was still in the sky, but they've essentially jasstered. Yeah, basically, like chaos, right? There's guns going off. There's, there's all sorts of stuff happening.
And in that near-miss collision, he's just come out alive. And I guess the great Gatsby's, well Gatsby at this point will never reach that high again. Yes, exactly. Like the stakes, just the atmosphere, just he needs to reach that point again.
Exactly. I think, actually, do you know what? I don't think he gets up where he pulls a shoot. I think that in that spin, he wakes up in his bed and he's a dream.
Yeah, memory, right? Yeah, memory, but he's been, he dreams it every night. Yeah. And he can't leave that moment.
I think that we have the motif of flashing back to that moment. When, as his life spirals out of control, like we flash back to him spinning in the air, trying to reach for his parachute. So, cause this is like, it sounds like a biopic for most. Time, yeah.
And thinking of like the aviator, you know, someone who's just like, fully enough, I'm thinking of what the line. Okay. So that's a film that starts with Johnny Cash looking at this saw in Folsom Prison, while the prisoners are like, Johnny, Johnny, I don't know what to say. Sure.
I'm not seeing it for you. Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. I assume. And then he goes back to his memory and then the whole film plays out until that point.
And then it goes beyond that point. I guess it's like that, right? Where he's prepping for a stunt and he's thinking about that thing. Yeah, yeah.
He's just put his whole house and the house that his child lives in, he's put it on the line to essentially put together this stunt show. Yes. What's he doing at this stunt show? I think he's probably flying.
I think he's doing like, doing the kind of wing walking thing. He's flying the plane from above and he's sort of like, and he's gonna jump from a moving plane into his got co-pilot, the speed I'm playing, but he's gonna jump from a moving plane that he's flying into like a, off the plane into some pool of water or something. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to pull.
Yeah. He's done it before. It's like the biggest thrill ever. Yeah.
And so, you know, he, these stunts keep getting bigger and bigger. His wife is trying to, he's begging him to, you know, with like, it's fine. I can get my old job back. Yeah.
Like, we can find you a job as a commercial airline pilot. You know, you're gonna get a lot of, are they those then probably not yet? In the countries. What commercial?
Yeah. Hmm. Like I know late 30s, and I'm just going off of Indiana Jones. People still need pilots though.
They still need pilots. That was a job, pilot with a job in the 20s. I'm going off of mainly Indiana Jones, sort of in the mid 30s, because of the red line that goes across the map. It's like surely someone's fighting against me.
Yeah. So yeah, like, you know, he's like, you know, just as a pilot, but doing safe things. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Maybe, maybe after this one, maybe after this one. Yeah. I just, what's the reasoning he gives I wonder?
Is, the people asking for it. You know, they want, it's sort of, he never, there's this feeling, Tom, I don't know if you've ever, you will be familiar with it. After a show, you finish the show. I get it when I'm finished running a role playing game or doing something else.
He's also the case. Where you've got this need to keep talking about it. Like, to someone to say that was good, that bit. Yes.
Like, in a kind of, as the memories, Ebb from that excitement of the moment, you start to be like, was it as good as, I remember it being, was it as good as that? Yeah, yeah. It's like that. In that, like, him being given the medal, was the first bit of that like, slow fade, the moment, was the thing that he needs.
But like, him being given a medal for, you know, downing the red baron, all the, all the, it's after that. That was, that was the medal for downing the red baron. Yeah. Yeah.
Nowadays there's a bar, though they've got a big drink called the red baron. If you can get a replica, I guess if he does live to an old age, he'll see that and be like, oh, no, I did that. And now looking at it, it's all gone to the dogs. Yeah, that's in the 50s.
Yeah. He's alone. He's dying alone. Rock and roll music on the jukebox.
Yeah, I think the rest of this movie is kind of leads up to, like, he's, why is he gonna leave him? Yeah, yeah. You know. I wouldn't.
Yeah, I have a sense. Yeah. I wonder if he's going to try and do something, like a big show of like, romantic, you know, like the biggest thing he's ever done. He's the man who invents the sky writing.
Yes. That's the bit. Yeah. And he manages to win her back by writing, I love you, Emily Blunt in the sky.
That's it. Yeah. Yeah. I think, like, he writes, I love you, Emily Blunt.
I don't think it works. No. Because at that time, there are kids in hospitals and he was too busy playing and doing loop loops and he dies an old man alone. Yeah.
An old man alone. But he invented the sky writing. He invented sky writing, yeah. Yeah, is an art form that lives after him.
I think as a kid, I saw one. Yeah. I think I saw one sky right. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm not sure I've ever seen sky right. No. No.
But he, he, he lived, he invented it. The story we all wanted to see, the inventor of the sky writer, the sky writing. Yeah. Yeah.
The great Gatsby. The great Gatsby. That's his name. Yep.
Oh, I might write that short story, actually. And just his name's Gatsby. It's just the the sky writer. That's what the story is called.
I like that. That's good. Yeah. So yeah, thank you for that one.
I think I was a bit more coherent. And like I'm always amazed at how you can come up with like a genuinely good idea for a film. I don't think that was that good. I think it's pretty good.
It's kind of just like compared to Lin-Manuel Miranda and George Clooney and Margar Robbie Gunran circles. I'd say you're pretty. I just rewrote all the movies about sad men in the 20s though, right? Well, that's, that's, that's it.
That's what you need to do. That's what the great Gatsby is. It's about sad 20s men. Yeah.
It's, yeah. You've read it then. So thank you to everyone for listening. This is a change up in format due to scheduling and stuff like that.
Yeah. Hope you enjoyed both of these movies. Why are we different tone? I think if you blend those two movies, you basically get the tone of the life to pick a podcast.
Yes. Usually democratize it a bit more. Yeah. I hope you didn't turn off midway through mine and you've got a chance to listen to Matt's one because Matt's one is genuinely pretty good by comparison.
Sorry. It wasn't as funny though. I don't think mine was that funny. Mine was funny just out of like, how is this guy still talking about his dumb idea?
Oh, yeah. The reveal was quite, was quite funny. The reveal. The reveal.
Yeah. Anyway, thank you everyone for listening to this episode. If you'd like to keep that, let me say this is now a normal format, but if you'd like to get podcasts going, then give us titles over at our socials that I mentioned at the start. But you can also go to patreon.com forward slash blog to become a patron of the Lives Pitch Podcast.
That's where you can give us a little bit on money each month to get bonus stuff. You can get bonus pictures. You can get, which we've got just about one of every week, where you can get a vote on the genre each week. And of course, let's not forget having a name readout at the end of the show.
So I would like to thank Spanky. I'm still not reading that. Let's ditch the Gregorian calendar and do a new one. Then we can make a new new year.
Any ideas for month names? Steven D. Thomas. I spoke too soon.