Episode 55 - Third Spaces

In Episode 55, the duo braves a winter storm (well, Jackie does) to discuss Step 10: "We maintain a daily practice of reflection, amends, and forgiveness." This prompt leads Denise to share a powerful and gritty story from nearly 40 years ago—her "last run" involving an ex-boyfriend's stash, a van behind a market on Lincoln Boulevard, and the paranoia that eventually led to her surrender. She contrasts that "pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization" with the full, hopeful life she leads today, highlighting the rigorous discipline required in her early days of recovery.Jackie flips the script to discuss why she, someone without a substance addiction, engages with this work. She describes the 12 Steps as necessary "scaffolding" for her mental health, replacing lost structures like religion or pre-pandemic friend groups. They dive deep into attachment theory, the concept of "Third Spaces" (and how to create them, like Jackie's "Home Cafe" or "Crafternoons"), and how consistency builds safety in the nervous system.The episode rounds out with some highly practical "adulting" hacks: Jackie breaks down her visual fridge organization system (produce on the top shelf, condiments in the drawers!) to reduce waste, while Denise reveals her non-negotiable morning routine involving a made bed and her beloved "Lola" blanket.Key Times:00:00:50 Snowy St. Louis survival guide: The vegan section is always stocked 00:03:04 Step 10: Maintaining a daily practice of reflection 00:04:40 Denise shares her "last run" story (Cocaine, stolen keys, and a van on Lincoln Blvd) 00:08:44 The discipline of early recovery: Commitments, schedules, and faking it 00:11:04 "Pitiful and Incomprehensible Demoralization" vs. The Ick 00:18:28 Jackie on why she does the steps without addiction: "Scaffolding" for mental health 00:23:37 Relearning safety in the body and the book Safe 00:27:52 The magic of "Third Spaces": Meetings, Home Cafes, and Bakery Walks 00:33:58 Jackie’s neurodivergent-friendly fridge organization hacks 00:37:51 Denise's strict morning routine: Make the bed before coffeeTopics Covered:Step 10 of the "12 Steps for Everyone"Denise’s personal rock bottom story (The "Last Run")The discipline and structure of early sobriety (Commitments, 90 in 90)Mental health "scaffolding" and replacing lost societal structuresAttachment theory and relearning safety (Book mention: Safe)The importance of "Third Spaces" for community connectionNeurodivergent-friendly organization: Fridge hacks and washing produce immediatelyMorning routines and the psychological benefit of a made bedJoin our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Saturday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone