12S4E: The 12 Steps for Everyone

Jackie and Denise are back after a brief hiatus with a fresh perspective and a new name for the podcast: 12 Steps for Everyone. In this episode, they catch up on their recent travels and personal growth journeys. Jackie discusses the "humble pie" of navigating her first year of grad school, adjusting to new medication, and the beauty of a wedding in Mexico City. Denise shares her restorative solo weekend in Santa Barbara, featuring an inspiring talk by Esther Perel, a playful encounter with an octopus, and the transformative power of "savoring the moment". They also explore the principles of Step 6, vulnerability in recovery, and Denise’s new commitment to financial clarity.Topics CoveredThe Rebrand: Transitioning from Emergency Protocol to 12 Steps for Everyone to better reflect their mission.Step 6: Recognizing thoughts and behaviors that no longer serve the greater good.Academic Pressure: Jackie’s experience with grad school finals and managing productivity.Mental Health & Medication: Navigating the side effects of Lexapro and finding a functional routine.Solo Exploration: Denise’s Santa Barbara itinerary, including a stay in a Montecito casita.Connection & AI: Insights from Esther Perel’s talk at Godmother's bookstore regarding relationships in the digital age.Vulnerability in Community: The emotional safety of 12-step meetings and seeing men express emotion.The Science of Happiness: Savoring moments of joy as a tool for rewiring the brain, inspired by Laurie Santos.Financial Frontier: Denise’s new 12-week course to bring "grown-up" clarity to her unexamined finances.Women's Sports: The excitement of supporting Angel City FC and the rise of women’s athletics.Key Timestamps00:00:03: Welcome to the newly renamed podcast, 12 Steps for Everyone.00:02:12: Introduction to Step 6 and behaviors that no longer serve us.00:03:45: Jackie on finals, brain fog, and the "urgency" of productivity.00:08:42: Reflecting on the first year of grad school in the Midwest.00:10:04: Denise’s trip to Santa Barbara and Esther Perel at Godmother's bookstore.00:16:30: A fascinating look at intimacy and the beginnings of AI relationships.00:19:30: Shared vulnerability at a Saturday morning meeting in Montecito.00:20:50: Visiting the Santa Barbara Botanical Garden and playing with an octopus.00:24:21: Thrifting a jacket at a resale store on State Street.00:25:25: Restoring the spirit in a Himalayan salt cave and sound bath.00:26:36: Lunch at La Super-Rica and a sweet encounter with the owner.00:29:20: The importance of "savoring the moment" for nervous system health.00:36:40: Denise’s new financial coach and the resistance to doing inventory.00:43:00: Celebrating the joy of Angel City FC and women’s sports.Join our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Saturday at 10am PST; please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on Tik Tok: @12stepsforeveryone

In Episode 59, Denise and Jackie celebrate a massive milestone: Denise’s 40th anniversary of sobriety. From office surprises with Martinelli’s to heartfelt messages from her community, Denise reflects on the vast difference between her life today and the "bedraggled" 19-year-old she was during the 1984 LA Olympics. As the city prepares for the 2028 games, she shares the joy of being a functioning, "eagle-eyed" professional who can finally enjoy the world with clarity and presence.The duo also dives into the nuances of success and education. With both of Denise’s daughters now in grad school, they discuss the "full circle" beauty of academic achievement in a family where earlier generations didn't have the same access. Denise opens up about her past shame regarding her own unconventional education and how she has come to embrace her unique way of learning and leading. Plus, they touch on the intersection of Passover and Easter, the importance of being a "vault" for others, and why mental health remains a vital practice.Key Times:00:01:33 Denise’s 40-year sobriety milestone and office celebrations00:06:50 The Full Circle Olympics: Comparing 1984 vs. 202800:10:40 Navigating sugar cravings and coping mechanisms in recovery00:20:16 Grad school, breaking generational cycles, and Ocean Vuong00:23:56 Earned success: Being "Eagle Eyes Freed" in the workplace00:32:30 Embracing different learning styles and letting go of academic shame00:36:30 Being "The Vault": Trustworthiness and listening to Fifth Steps00:45:37 Family, holidays, and the joy of gluten-free masa00:51:53 The closing gratitude practice and deep breathingTopics Covered:Celebrating 40 years of sobriety and reflections on long-term recoveryThe excitement of the 2028 LA Olympics pre-saleSubstitutions in recovery: Managing sugar, coffee, and nicotineThe generational impact of education and academic achievementProfessional growth and pattern recognition ("Eagle Eyes")Overcoming shame related to traditional education pathsThe responsibility and honor of being a "safe person" for others' secretsMerging family traditions: Passover, Easter, and cultural heritageSelf-care as a form of gratitude and the importance of hydrationJoin our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Saturday at 10am PST; please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on Tik Tok: @12stepsforeveryone

In Episode 58, Denise and Jackie welcome listeners to the podcast’s new era as 12 Steps for Everyone. Moving away from the name "Emergency Protocol," the mother-daughter duo explains how these steps serve as guardrails for both recovery and mental health, whether you're taking it one day at a time or just trying to conquer "Laundry Mountain".Recorded on the first day of spring, the conversation focuses on Step 5: sharing our inventory with vulnerability, integrity, and a safe, trustworthy person. They explore how an outside perspective helps us identify our own part in a "mess", where we might be overstepping or where we are shirking responsibility. Jackie shares a timely experience of facing uncomfortable accountability in therapy, while Denise reflects on her upcoming milestone of 40 years of sobriety.The episode also highlights the importance of being a "vault" for others and the power of emptying the "shame box" to realize we are never truly alone in our experiences. From the spiritual concept of the "Universal Mother" to spreading whimsy with "silly critters," they remind us that maintaining mental health is a powerful form of resistance. They close with their signature gratitude practice and a reminder to drink some water.Key Times:00:00:03 Welcome to "12 Steps for Everyone": The podcast rebrand00:01:43 Step 5: Vulnerability, integrity, and finding a safe person00:03:11 Identifying "our part": Finding clarity through external perspectives00:05:17 Jackie’s therapy update: The discomfort of accountability with Mina00:07:03 Learning to be "the vault": The responsibility of being a trustworthy listener00:08:22 Emptying the "shame box": Breaking isolation through shared secrets00:11:15 Denise’s milestone: 40 years of sobriety and evolving support networks00:12:15 Mutual sponsorship: Navigating long-term recovery connections00:23:09 The "Universal Mother": Trusting that things work out for you00:27:33 Spreading joy with "silly critters" and mini ducks00:31:00 Mental health as a form of resistance00:34:46 The closing gratitude practice and deep breathingTopics Covered:The rebrand from Emergency Protocol to 12 Steps for EveryoneStep 5: Sharing your inventory with vulnerability and integrityAccountability in therapy and sponsorshipThe importance of being a "vault" and a trustworthy confidantBreaking the isolation of shame by sharing the "darkness"Navigating long-term sobriety and "mutual sponsorship"The concept of the "Universal Mother" during travel shenanigansSpreading whimsy and joy through "silly critters"Mental health as resistance and the importance of practical self-careClosing gratitude and breathing practiceJoin our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Saturday at 10am PST; please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on Tik Tok: @12stepsforeveryone

In Episode 57, Denise and Jackie share the big news: Emergency Protocol is officially shifting to "12 Steps for Everyone" to better represent their cohesive mission and why they do what they do.The mother-daughter duo uses this transition as a jumping-off point to dive into Step One of their reimagined 12 steps: admitting that we are not okay, we have not been okay, and we aren't getting better on our own.The conversation explores the reality of navigating major life transitions, from family health scares and grief to "Mercury Gatorade" (retrograde) communication mishaps, and how identifying our personal "tells" can help us manage heavy seasons without completely unraveling.They also touch on the "rigamarole" of finding mental health providers and how staying connected to a higher power often starts with simple rituals and noticing "angel numbers" like 11:11 in our daily lives.Ultimately, they remind us to practice an "economy of effort" and recognize when the most spiritual thing we can do is simply rest or find quiet in a puzzle, closing with their signature gratitude practice and a simple but powerful message: You’re a miracle.Key Times:00:00:50 Shifting focus: From Emergency Protocol to 12 Steps for Everyone 00:01:16 Navigating "Mercury Gatorade" (Retrograde) and communication mishaps 00:03:49 Step One: Admitting "we're not okay" and we can't do it alone 00:05:32 Jackie's experience with grief, brain fog, and identifying a "tell" 00:07:02 Leaning into support: Therapy, insurance miracles, and university care 00:08:51 Connecting to a higher power through 11:11 and "angel numbers" 00:09:43 Denise's juggle: Family health, workaholism, and being present 00:14:21 The economy of effort and the power of focusing on the present 00:15:15 Looking back: Admitting powerlessness vs. the illusion of control 00:18:26 Regulating the nervous system through puzzles and the concept of rest 00:29:29 The closing gratitude practice and deep breathing 00:30:00 "You're a miracle. Drink some water."Topics Covered:- The official transition from Emergency Protocol to 12 Steps for Everyone- Surviving "Mercury Gatorade" and communication glitches- Step One: Acknowledging powerlessness and the need for support- Processing grief and family health crises in real-time- Navigating the "rigamarole" of finding mental health providers- Staying connected to a higher power through angel numbers and rituals- Balancing workaholism with the "economy of effort"- Using puzzles and the radical concept of rest to regulate the nervous systemJoin our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Saturday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

In Episode 56, Denise and Jackie bring the "vava voom" to celebrate love and Valentine’s Day (even if you're listening in March!). The mother-daughter duo uses the holiday as a jumping-off point to dive into the complex topics of love, romantic relationships, and most importantly, self-love.The conversation explores the difference between performative self-care and genuine self-love, and how setting boundaries is a crucial part of recovery and mental health. They also touch on Step 11, discussing how different forms of meditation—from silent walks to guided apps—can help regulate the nervous system and help us notice "glimmers" (the opposite of triggers) in our daily lives.Ultimately, they remind us to release the pressure of arbitrary timelines and societal expectations, closing with their signature gratitude practice and a simple but powerful message: Love is everything.Key Times:00:00:42 "Vava voom" and Valentine's Day accessories 00:05:15 Exploring the concepts of self-love vs. self-care 00:11:30 Step 11: Finding your own version of meditation 00:18:20 Glimmers: Training your nervous system to notice the good 00:26:45 Navigating relationship expectations and boundaries00:32:10 Releasing arbitrary timelines and societal pressures 00:38:24 "Love is everything" - A belated Valentine's Day message 00:38:37 The closing gratitude practice and deep breathing 00:39:11 "You're a miracle. Drink some water."Topics Covered:Valentine's Day, accessories, and the "vava voom" energySelf-love vs. performative self-careStep 11: Finding accessible ways to practice meditationRegulating the nervous system by looking for "glimmers"Setting healthy boundaries in romantic and platonic relationshipsLetting go of timelines and societal pressuresClosing gratitude and breathing practiceJoin our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Saturday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

In Episode 55, the duo braves a winter storm (well, Jackie does) to discuss Step 10: "We maintain a daily practice of reflection, amends, and forgiveness." This prompt leads Denise to share a powerful and gritty story from nearly 40 years ago—her "last run" involving an ex-boyfriend's stash, a van behind a market on Lincoln Boulevard, and the paranoia that eventually led to her surrender. She contrasts that "pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization" with the full, hopeful life she leads today, highlighting the rigorous discipline required in her early days of recovery.Jackie flips the script to discuss why she, someone without a substance addiction, engages with this work. She describes the 12 Steps as necessary "scaffolding" for her mental health, replacing lost structures like religion or pre-pandemic friend groups. They dive deep into attachment theory, the concept of "Third Spaces" (and how to create them, like Jackie's "Home Cafe" or "Crafternoons"), and how consistency builds safety in the nervous system.The episode rounds out with some highly practical "adulting" hacks: Jackie breaks down her visual fridge organization system (produce on the top shelf, condiments in the drawers!) to reduce waste, while Denise reveals her non-negotiable morning routine involving a made bed and her beloved "Lola" blanket.Key Times:00:00:50 Snowy St. Louis survival guide: The vegan section is always stocked 00:03:04 Step 10: Maintaining a daily practice of reflection 00:04:40 Denise shares her "last run" story (Cocaine, stolen keys, and a van on Lincoln Blvd) 00:08:44 The discipline of early recovery: Commitments, schedules, and faking it 00:11:04 "Pitiful and Incomprehensible Demoralization" vs. The Ick 00:18:28 Jackie on why she does the steps without addiction: "Scaffolding" for mental health 00:23:37 Relearning safety in the body and the book Safe 00:27:52 The magic of "Third Spaces": Meetings, Home Cafes, and Bakery Walks 00:33:58 Jackie’s neurodivergent-friendly fridge organization hacks 00:37:51 Denise's strict morning routine: Make the bed before coffeeTopics Covered:Step 10 of the "12 Steps for Everyone"Denise’s personal rock bottom story (The "Last Run")The discipline and structure of early sobriety (Commitments, 90 in 90)Mental health "scaffolding" and replacing lost societal structuresAttachment theory and relearning safety (Book mention: Safe)The importance of "Third Spaces" for community connectionNeurodivergent-friendly organization: Fridge hacks and washing produce immediatelyMorning routines and the psychological benefit of a made bedJoin our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Saturday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

In Episode 54, Denise and Jackie open with a nod to the state of the world -"The horrors persist, and so do we" - before pivoting to the core of their podcast: The 12 Steps for Everyone. They take a moment to read through their reimagined steps, discussing how they stripped away the patriarchal and religious language of the original program to create something accessible for anxiety, depression, and the general human condition.The conversation flows into a nuanced debate about "California Sober," with Denise sharing why it’s a slippery slope for her personally, while acknowledging it works for others. They explore the concept of "Something Bigger" (which can be as simple as the ocean) and the importance of finding the right "vibe" in recovery meetings.Looking ahead to the rest of the year, they double down on intentionality. Denise explains the "Big Rocks" theory of time management - scheduling the most important things (vacations, rest, passions) first, so the "sand and water" of daily life don't crowd them out. Meanwhile, Jackie brings a tech-savvy approach to self-care, sharing how she uses iPhone NFC tags to automate her skincare routine and reduce mental load.Key Times:00:00:50 "The horrors persist, and so do we" – Checking in on the weather 00:01:25 Appreciating the sunset at Palisades Park 00:05:38 Reading the "12 Steps for Everyone" (The full list) 00:08:28 A candid discussion on "California Sober" 00:11:28 Defining "Something Bigger" vs. "Higher Power" (The Pacific Ocean) 00:14:03 Jackie on making amends to herself (Living Amends) 00:16:03 Denise leads a meeting one year after the fires 00:18:28 The energy of in-person meetings: Oldest Cake vs. Youngest Cake 00:30:52 The "Big Rocks" theory of prioritization and calendaring 00:36:52 Jackie’s tech hack: Using NFC tags to automate skincare tracking 00:39:29 Book mentions: Culpability and Careless PeopleTopics Covered:The "12 Steps for Everyone" (Full reading and review)"California Sober": Personal definitions and boundariesDefining a Higher Power as "Something Bigger" (Nature/Ocean)Living Amends: Forgiving yourself and treating yourself betterThe "Big Rocks" theory: Prioritizing joy and rest in your calendarThe difference between "resolutions" and "decisions"In-person meetings vs. Zoom (Connection and Energy)Automating habits: NFC tags, shortcuts, and reducing decision fatigueBook recommendations: Culpability and Careless PeopleJoin our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Saturday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

Welcome back! In Episode 53, Denise and Jackie return after the holiday whirlwind (Christmas, New Year's, and Thanksgiving) to process the "lot" that was the previous year. They kick things off with a high-energy memory of a Florence and the Machine concert before diving into how they are navigating the current emotional landscape—finding hope in the message of "Wicked," using "Changed for Good" as a form of protest, and staying focused on truth amidst global distractions.The conversation centers on grounding practices for the new year. Denise shares how the Serenity Prayer helps her center herself between acceptance and courage, while also exploring new "woo-woo" territories like the I-Ching and mediumship. Jackie re-frames the concept of New Year's resolutions into "decisions" for how to live, emphasizing that there is no arbitrary timeline for personal growth.From "The Gem" and "The Queen" archetype card pulls to stories of ancestral bravery, the duo finds strength in looking backward to move forward. They discuss the palpable sense of hope many are feeling for 2026, the importance of "clean energy" when setting goals, and Jackie's personal commitment to adding more "whimsy" to her life (and not burning her tongue on hot food).Key Times:00:01:43 Remembering the Florence and the Machine concert (sprinting up the rows) 00:03:16 Post-holiday reflection: "This year was a lot" 00:04:41 "Wicked" and being "Changed for Good" as a form of protest 00:05:57 Staying focused on the real issues (Epstein) despite distractions 00:07:26 The Serenity Prayer and the importance of meetings 00:12:38 Planning tools: Wall calendars and Shinola notebooks 00:13:25 Re-framing resolutions as "Decisions to live my life by"00:15:30 Diving into the I-Ching and throwing coins 00:17:22 Annual Card Pulls: The Gem and The Queen 00:21:37 Ancestral bravery: Traveling alone with nothing but wits00:30:34 "There is no timeline": Bringing clean energy into your goals 00:32:41 Jackie's resolution: Adding "Whimsy" and not burning her tongue 00:33:30 The underlying current of hope for 2026 00:35:33 Reminder: Mercury "Gatorade" (Retrograde)Topics Covered:Post-holiday processing and the "Yin and Yang" of joy and grief"Wicked" as a source of hope and protestThe Serenity Prayer: Acceptance vs. CourageThe energy of in-person meetings vs. ZoomPlanning for the future: Wall calendars, notebooks, and "Decisions"Spiritual practices: I-Ching, Archetype Card pulls, and MediumsAncestral strength and gratitude for those who came beforeReleasing the pressure of January 1st timelinesThe "Mercury Gatorade" (Retrograde) warningJoin our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Sunday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

Episode Summary:In this episode, Denise and Jackie enter "Heavy Protocol" mode as they process a week filled with intense political news and emotional weight following the recent elections. Despite the heaviness, they lean into hope, connection, and the pursuit of joy.Denise shares insights from her recent event with Brené Brown, specifically the concept of "locking in", a metaphor drawn from the lock system on the River Thames. This sparks a revelation about the necessity of transition time between work and home, leading to a new understanding of boundaries and self-care. They also discuss Step Two of their 12-step journey: believing that we are worthy of getting better and that things will get better, even when the external world feels chaotic.The conversation touches on everything from the wisdom of a six-year-old cooking prodigy to the stark reality of current events, including the fears surrounding immigration and political instability. Yet, true to form, they find lightness in the dark: planning a sustainable Christmas (complete with an early tree setup), celebrating Friendsgiving with "Wonder Bread" traditions, and continuing their search for signs from the universe.Key Times:00:01:25 Checking in on the campus mood post-election 00:02:51 Denise's intimate event with Brené Brown 00:05:34 Seeking signs from the other side (The "Mongoose" update) 00:07:22 Reflecting on a heavy week of political news 00:19:04 Step Two: "We believe we are worthy of getting better" 00:24:43 Wisdom from a 6-year-old ("Chef Max Can Cook") 00:27:42 Brené Brown's "Locking In" metaphor: The River Thames 00:29:40 The importance of transition time when coming home 00:33:00 Denise's "Lifelong Learner" tour: Oprah, Snyder, Brown, and Mediums 00:36:25 "If we lose, I'm going to jail": Steve Bannon and the stakes 00:38:22 Making joy: Early Christmas decorating and sustainable holidays00:39:54 Friendsgiving and the "Friends & Family" restaurant night Topics Covered:Processing post-election emotions and campus atmosphereBrené Brown’s concept of "Locking In" and transition timesStep Two: Worthiness and the belief that things will get betterThe importance of transitions for mental health (military and daily life)Political anxiety and the importance of local action (transition funds, food banks)"Making Joy" as an active practice: Holiday prep and gathering friendsSustainable consumerism during the holidaysLifelong learning: From history (Timothy Snyder) to mediumshipThe "Mongoose" sign and communicating with the other sideJoin our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Sunday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)Follow Us:Follow Jackie: @jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

In this episode, mother-daughter duo Denise and Jackie Freed embrace the changing seasons and the necessity of "making your own fun" amidst a heavy political and social climate. As the weather turns cold in both St. Louis and Los Angeles, the pair discusses how they are actively seeking joy, Jackie by driving eight hours round-trip to Chicago for the final Angel City FC game, and Denise by maneuvering her way onto a guest list to see Brené Brown.Jackie delivers three critical Public Service Announcements regarding the upcoming election, the end of Daylight Savings, and the impending Mercury Retrograde. The conversation then turns to the power of showing up, as they share stories of Halloween vulnerability, Denise facing "party anxiety" while hosting a "Wigging Out" office event, and Jackie leaning into the cringe of being the only student in costume at her department party.The episode tackles difficult topics with characteristic candor, including the conflict of supporting sports teams when ownership or players don't align with their values. Denise sounds off on the Dodgers owner's investment in private prisons, while Jackie navigates the pain of a transphobic op-ed written by an Angel City player. Ultimately, they circle back to the importance of community, fundraising for food banks, and celebrating diversity through Friendsgiving, before closing with their grounding 5-4-3-2-1 gratitude practice.Key Times:00:01:41 Jackie’s 8-hour drive for joy (The Angel City game) 00:04:45 Denise gets on the guest list for Brené Brown 00:08:00 Denise’s "Woo Woo" side: Mediums and signs 00:11:33 Jackie’s 3 PSAs: Election, Daylight Savings, Mercury Retrograde00:18:18 Homesickness, the World Series, and "Crazy, Stupid, Love" 00:21:12 Denise’s "Real Estate is Spooky" Halloween party 00:26:48 Jackie’s experience being the only one in costume at grad school 00:30:57 The importance of "Third Spaces" and staying at the retreat00:35:20 Denise on the Dodgers owner: "Why are you eating your own fanbase?" 00:39:54 Fundraising for the Westside Food Bank 00:43:14 Navigating the Angel City FC controversy and free speech 00:53:01 Friendsgiving and celebrating diversity Topics Covered:Active seeking of joy ("Making your own fun")Public Service Announcements: Voting, Daylight Savings, Mercury RetrogradeNavigating social anxiety and showing up for eventsThe value of "Third Spaces" for connectionSports ethics: The Dodgers ownership and Angel City FC controversiesThe intersection of politics, values, and fandomFundraising for the Westside Food BankCelebrating diversity in the workplace (Friendsgiving)Fall rituals: Sweater weather, cider, and "Happy Lamps"Closing 5-4-3-2-1 gratitude exerciseJoin our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Sunday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)Follow Us:Follow Jackie: @jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

In this milestone 50th episode, hosts Denise and Jackie Freed reflect on persistence, the seasonal "grind" of October, and the importance of showing up—both for yourself and for your community.Denise shares a busy week of travel and inspiration, recounting her trip to Hawaii to celebrate a work anniversary and a powerful evening hearing historian Timothy Snyder speak on "Freedom." She shares Snyder's hopeful yet pragmatic message: there is no single fix for the world's problems, but everyone can "do something," whether it's protesting, donating, or simply paying for credible journalism (like Heather Cox Richardson). She also touches on the "sports grief" of watching beloved Angel City FC players retire, noting how caring about a team is a lesson in loving without control.Jackie opens up about managing her "melancholy" fall mood with a "Happy Lamp" and a focus on self-care policies. She shares a profound experience volunteering at a food rescue market, where abstract concepts from her grad school classes—like cultural humility and checking internalized bias—became very real challenges in a grocery line.The mother-daughter duo discusses the vital need for connection to combat loneliness, the power of somatic therapy to release stored trauma, and the ultimate reminder that love is "what we're doing it all for." They conclude by encouraging listeners to revisit their core values and join their growing community.Key Times:00:00:49 Celebrating the Episode 50 milestone 00:02:12 The "stressed and depressed" reality of the October grind 00:03:24 Denise’s Hawaii trip: Tree tunnels and environmental observations 00:06:22 Inspiration from Anastasia Soare and Nadia Comaneci at the Oprah event00:07:41 Takeaways from Timothy Snyder’s talk on "Freedom" 00:11:52 Processing sports grief: Angel City FC retirements 00:17:03 Discussing indigenous rights and Kamehameha Schools 00:19:53 The importance of showing up for community (Sunday Meetings) 00:23:24 Jackie’s "Happy Lamp" and getting "ducks in a row" 00:27:57 Jackie’s volunteering experience: A lesson in cultural humility 00:35:38 Somatic therapy and releasing trauma from the body 00:36:57 "This is what we're doing it all for": It comes back to love 00:43:03 Living life to the best of your ability amidst chaos 00:46:08 Revisiting values: The "Value Sort" exercise 00:50:20 Closing 5-4-3-2-1 gratitude practiceTopics Covered:Celebrating the Episode 50 milestoneCombating seasonal depression with "Happy Lamps" and self-careTimothy Snyder’s advice: "Do something" and support real journalismThe ethics of sports fandom and processing team changesIndigenous rights and the Kamehameha Schools legal battleVolunteering as a practical application of social justice and cultural humilityThe importance of physical community vs. online isolationSomatic therapy (releasing trauma from the hips)Revisiting personal values (The Value Sort exercise)The "Universal Mother" taking care of usClosing 5-4-3-2-1 gratitude practiceJoin our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Sunday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)Follow Us:Follow Jackie: @jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

What if “just okay” was actually enough? In this episode, Denise and Jackie navigate emotional exhaustion, world heaviness, and the full spectrum of being human — from overbooked weekends to overdue rest.Key Times:00:01:30 – Denise on burnout and the joy of a full, vibrant life00:03:10 – Four events in one weekend: dinners, comedy shows, and the village00:05:20 – Reflecting on gratitude and the gifts of sobriety00:08:45 – Heading to Hawaii: celebrating five years since launching the company’s island region00:11:10 – Remembering pandemic Hawaii — the beauty and eerie calm00:14:20 – Jackie opens up about emotional weight, grief, and global heaviness00:16:50 – Powerlessness, empathy, and the practice of small activism00:19:15 – “Just love your neighbors”: finding humanity beyond media noise00:22:00 – Missing each other, changing rhythms, and long-distance mother–daughter life00:25:35 – Jackie’s travel stories: a friend’s wedding in Spain and Chicago adventures with Nala00:28:15 – Returning from vacation and facing grad school fatigue00:30:40 – Denise’s “HALT” wisdom: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired (and Horny)00:33:20 – Building new community: finding (or starting) meetings in a new city00:36:00 – Productivity, procrastination, and perfectionism in grad school00:39:00 – Rhubarb crisps, curtain rods, and the therapy of small wins00:40:40 – “Life be lifin’”: grief, loss, and showing up anyway00:41:35 – Closing meditation: breathe, drink your water, aim for “okay”Episode Summary:In this tender, funny, and real conversation, Denise and Jackie come back together to unpack what it means when life be lifin’. Denise reflects on the joy and overwhelm of a full life, dinners, community, comedy, and career milestones, while Jackie opens up about grad school burnout, post-travel blues, and the search for new community.As mother and daughter process collective grief, global uncertainty, and the loss of simple times, they remind listeners that even when the world feels heavy, gratitude and small routines - like cooking, laughing, or just breathing - are spiritual practices.Together, they find wisdom in imperfection: rest is recovery, connection is medicine, and sometimes “just okay” is everything.Topics Covered:Emotional fatigue and seasonal transitionsGratitude vs. burnoutSobriety and the gifts of spiritual structureThe grief of global events and media overloadDistance, connection, and changing family rhythmsGrad school stress, procrastination, and self-compassionRebuilding daily joy through small actions“Life be lifin’” — letting it be okay to not be okayJoin our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Sunday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)Follow Us:Follow Jackie: @jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

What if discomfort was the doorway to alignment? In this October check-in, Denise and Jackie explore what it means to find peace in the messy middle—when the excitement of new beginnings wears off, and the real work begins.Key Times:00:01:36 Processing political anxiety ("weird fascist takeover") 00:02:51 How to maintain agency and not live in fear00:08:07 Discussing recent alarming news and media propaganda00:09:21 Finding reliable news sources (Heather Cox Richardson) 00:11:05 A workshop on distinguishing "Facts vs. Story" 00:13:03 Jackie's perspective from her policy class 00:14:32 Discussing marginalization and political unrest 00:17:53 Jackie's "meltdown" and coping with grad school stress00:21:09 Denise on "Joy is also resistance" 00:22:35 Balancing heavy topics (Timothy Snyder) with light reading00:25:44 The importance of being present in the moment 00:31:47 The "unloaded the dishwasher" example of fact vs. story 00:40:34 Denise on Step 9 and helping others as a tool 00:45:23 Returning to the Serenity Prayer 00:46:37 Jackie's social work ethics: Dignity and Self-Determination 00:47:47 Announcement for Sunday Zoom meetings 00:49:57 Closing 5-4-3-2-1 gratitude practiceShow Notes/Episode Summary:In this timely episode, mother-daughter duo Denise and Jackie process their raw frustration and anxiety regarding the current political climate. The conversation kicks off by acknowledging the difficulty of maintaining a sense of personal agency and not being consumed by fear in the face of what Denise calls a "weird fascist takeover." They explore the unsettling normalization of crisis and the challenge of everyday life continuing amidst the chaos.The pair discusses their different coping mechanisms. Denise balances checking out with escapism (like seeing the Downton Abbey movie) with staying informed. This leads to a major theme: the difficulty of finding truth in a consolidated media landscape filled with propaganda. They praise the value of reliable, non-alarmist sources like historian Heather Cox Richardson.A workshop Denise attended on "Facts vs. Story" becomes a central anchor for the conversation. They explore how personal narratives (the "story") can spiral out of control from a single neutral event (the "fact"), using a powerful example of someone unloading a dishwasher. Jackie connects this concept to her grad school studies in policy and social work, noting that different political factions are "not using the same manual" and are actively trying to shift collective reality.Both mother and daughter explore actionable ways to cope. Jackie shares insights from her classes, her personal "meltdown" from the pressure of school, and her grounding mantra, "The universal mother is taking care of me." She plans to volunteer at a food rescue and as a poll worker to regain a sense of agency. Denise speaks about finding "joy as resistance," balancing heavy reading (Timothy Snyder) with light-hearted fun (Taylor Jenkins Reid), and using the Serenity Prayer to find acceptance.The episode concludes with an open invitation to their weekly Sunday Zoom meeting and their grounding 5-4-3-2-1 gratitude practice.Topics Covered:Coping with political anxiety and fearThe challenge of media consolidation and propagandaDistinguishing between "fact" and "story" in personal life and the newsFinding and trusting reliable information sources (Heather Cox Richardson)Joy as an act of resistanceBalancing political engagement with self-preservationJackie's experience in grad school (social work and policy)The "Universal Mother" as a grounding mantraUsing the Serenity Prayer as a tool for acceptanceVolunteering (food rescue, poll worker) as a way to regain agencySocial work ethics: self-determination and dignity of the personThe closing 5-4-3-2-1 gratitude exerciseJoin our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Sunday at 10am PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)Follow Us:Follow Jackie: @jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

What if transition didn’t mean chaos, but recalibration? In this episode, Denise and Jackie reconnect after a whirlwind of technical hurdles, moving boxes, and lunar energy shifts. Jackie settles into life in St. Louis, while Denise reflects on joy as an act of resilience—especially in a world that feels heavy.Key Times:00:00:00 – Remote tech drama: the first long-distance recording setup 00:01:36 – Jackie’s grumpy week and reflections on old habits returning 00:03:01 – Denise on lunar eclipses, sleep struggles, and finding spiritual balance 00:04:45 – Joy as resistance: focusing on community, meetings, and connection 00:06:03 – Denise’s workshop with Elise Lunen: “On Our Best Behavior” and the price of being good 00:08:50 – Reflections from the PCH: fire scars, beauty, and grief side by side 00:09:51 – Adjusting to Jackie’s absence: filling the space with new community 00:10:58 – Jackie’s update: life in St. Louis, tornado recovery, and studying again 00:12:46 – A clean slate: decluttering, new habits, and learning time management 00:14:30 – Drinking water, daily meditation, and showing up for class 00:15:38 – Trusting institutions, ethical questions, and the challenge of reform 00:17:00 – Campus connection: dialogue across difference and nonviolent communication 00:19:00 – Denise’s pride: from “stressy and depressy” to doing the work 00:21:00 – Jackie’s move recap: three-day drive, dog adventures, and sunset magic 00:22:00 – Settling in: heartbreaks, unpacking, and the art of letting go 00:22:55 – Closing reflections: gratitude, water, and staying connectedShow Notes / Episode Summary:In this tender and grounding episode, Denise and Jackie record remotely for the first time since Jackie’s big move to St. Louis. Jackie shares her first month of transition—getting used to Midwest weather, managing grad school, learning new routines, and unpacking both literally and emotionally. She opens up about how it feels to rebuild her life in a new city while holding onto gratitude, joy, and the little victories.Denise brings her signature warmth and reflection, sharing stories from a recent workshop inspired by On Our Best Behavior and her spiritual practice of staying present through discomfort. She explores how joy, community, and self-awareness can coexist with grief, outrage, and uncertainty—especially after witnessing local fire devastation and political exhaustion.Together, mother and daughter explore the themes of growth, trust, and letting go. From crying over photos to laughing about dongles, they remind listeners that transformation is messy, human, and sometimes grumpy—but still beautiful.Topics Covered:Jackie’s move to St. Louis and first month in grad schoolLong-distance recording and learning new tech setupsDenise’s reflections on joy, grief, and spiritual groundingLunar energy, burnout, and emotional regulationFeminine conditioning and “The Price Women Pay to Be Good”Nonviolent communication and dialogue across differenceHealing through community meetings and connectionThe beauty and grief of fire-scarred California landscapesThe mother-daughter bond across distanceFollow Us:Follow Jackie: @jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

What if moving cities wasn’t just about logistics, but also about surrender? In this episode, Denise and Jackie talk through the whirlwind of Jackie’s big transition—packing up her life in Los Angeles to start grad school in the Midwest—while also reflecting on what it means to practice gratitude and enoughness in the middle of change.Key Times: 00:03:19 – Movers are coming! Jackie’s countdown to leaving LA 00:06:20 – Midwest weather shock: heat advisories, tornado season, and corn sweat 00:08:39 – Denise’s sober retreat: 42 people, games, puzzles, and community joy 00:10:21 – Walking a labyrinth: stillness, centering, and sacred design 00:11:56 – Planting seeds for future travel: a Sicily trip dream for 2026 00:13:51 – Shifting the grounding breath practice to the end of the episode 00:17:49 – Anger loops, cortisol, and surrendering what you can’t control 00:19:03 – Recording “emergency protocol” from two cities: the podcast evolves 00:21:12 – Community invite: their Sunday morning “12 Steps for Everyone” meetings 00:27:21 – Street safety and women navigating public spaces 00:29:41 – Letting go: activism, overwhelm, and doing what you can 00:33:02 – Closing ritual: gratitude and deep breathwork for the transitionShow Notes / Episode Summary:In this transitional and heartfelt episode, Jackie shares the emotional rollercoaster of leaving Los Angeles to start grad school in the Midwest. Between movers, storage units, and navigating summer storms, she opens up about the overwhelm of change and the gratitude she’s finding in the middle of it all.Denise reflects on her recent sober retreat, where a labyrinth walk and a thousand years of collective sobriety offered her new insights into stillness, play, and connection. Together, mother and daughter weave between the practical and the spiritual: how to handle the stress of moving, how to stay grounded during political and personal chaos, and how to trust that “enough” really is enough.They remind listeners that transitions don’t just require logistics—they require breath, surrender, and community.Topics Covered:Jackie’s move to the Midwest for grad schoolThe overwhelm of packing, movers, and storageWeather, safety, and culture shock in a new cityDenise’s reflections from a sober retreatLabyrinth walking and the spirituality of stillnessReleasing control when activism feels overwhelmingRe-centering with gratitude and breathworkContinuing the podcast from two different citiesInviting listeners into community and shared ritualsFollow Us:Follow Jackie: @jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

What if bravery isn’t just about the big leaps, but also the small, daily choices? In this episode, Jackie and Denise reflect on the winding road that led Jackie from a dark season into preparing for grad school—and all the emotional, logistical, and spiritual layers in between.Key Times:00:00:00 – Tech victory + grounding breathwork 00:02:00 – Denise reflects on Jackie’s evolution: from survival mode to moving forward 00:04:42 – Jackie shares the reality of dark thoughts, resilience, and seeking help 00:07:53 – First-generation grad student challenges + moving logistics 00:09:28 – Prescriptions, health insurance, and the hidden weight of adulting 00:12:01 – Disneyland as escapism + knowing who the “right” helpers are 00:14:32 – Bravery and exposure therapy: applying to grad school despite fear 00:16:58 – Returning to student mode after nine years + curiosity over perfection 00:18:00 – Fourth of July at the Hollywood Bowl: patriotism, protest, and perspective 00:23:20 – Conspiracies, corruption, and parsing reality in anxious times 00:25:31 – Community care: money, bodies, and where we put our energy 00:27:10 – Denise’s hope for a Phoenix-like future, even amidst broken systems 00:28:02 – Closing thoughts: hope, gratitude, and Sunday meeting invitesShow Notes / Episode Summary:In this intimate episode, Denise and Jackie trace Jackie’s journey from a period of deep struggle to a season of packing boxes and preparing for grad school. Jackie opens up about the mental health challenges that shaped her path, the bravery it took to apply to programs despite fear of rejection, and the overwhelming logistics of moving to a new city with her dog, car, and adult responsibilities in tow.Denise reflects on what it means to witness her daughter’s growth, offering encouragement to focus on learning and curiosity over perfectionism as Jackie prepares to re-enter academia after nearly a decade away. Together, they hold a layered conversation that weaves in Fourth of July reflections on patriotism, the reality of conspiracy culture, and the ongoing tension between wanting to help the world and needing to put your own oxygen mask on first.They close with reminders about their Sunday “12 Steps for Everyone” community meetings, and the importance of hope—even when systems are broken.Topics Covered:Jackie’s mental health journey and resilienceThe challenges of moving for grad school as a first-generation studentMedical logistics, insurance, and adult responsibilitiesEscapism, boundaries, and knowing the “right” helpersBravery as both exposure therapy and everyday actionReturning to school after nine years + shifting mindset from grades to growthReflections on patriotism, protest, and broken systemsThe tension between conspiracy, anxiety, and grounded actionService, community, and the balance of self-care with giving backFollow Us:Follow Jackie: @jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

What if joy itself is a form of protest? In this episode, Denise and Jackie reflect on a powerful week marked by national unrest, a shared birthday, and what it means to find moments of joy and connection amidst political chaos.Key Times:00:00:00 – Welcome back + gratitude breathwork 00:01:36 – Celebrating their shared birthday and reflecting on protest energy 00:04:33 – Street vending, community care, and giving out goldfish 00:06:05 – Angel City FC: surprise seats, frosé, and emotional moments 00:08:27 – “Immigrant City FC” shirts and the bittersweet game 00:13:42 – Denise’s 60th birthday party: tarot, tacos, and radical joy 00:17:43 – Jackie’s Scholastic-style book fair and curated party favors 00:21:02 – Crack Krispies and charcuterie: making joy delicious 00:24:30 – Political tension, privilege, and community protection 00:30:26 – Announcing 12 Steps for Everyone virtual meetings 00:33:37 – Jackie is off to grad school! Overwhelm and transition talk 00:35:20 – Closing thoughts: showing up anyway, with fresh breathShow Notes / Episode Summary:In this richly layered episode, Denise and Jackie bring listeners into a week of deeply personal and collective reflection. From participating in a massive protest against state violence to throwing an intentionally joyful, women-centered birthday celebration, they unpack what it means to hold rage and gratitude in the same breath.Denise turns 60 and goes all out - hosting a dreamy day of tacos, tarot, books, and body positivity. Jackie surprises her with a meticulously curated “adult Scholastic book fair” filled with crystals, claw clips, finger massagers, and more. But even in the joy, they remain grounded in the reality that many people can’t access such safety and celebration, especially as immigrant communities across LA face escalated threats and disappearances.They reflect on the ethics of privilege, how to support others while staying spiritually regulated, and what it means to keep showing up for joy when the world is on fire. The episode ends with an invitation to join their virtual Sunday meetings and a reminder that showing up, fully and honestly, is revolutionary.Topics Covered:Finding joy during times of political and social unrestMutual aid and small acts of protest supportThe emotional complexity of celebrating in hard timesBuilding women-centered spaces of delight and healingImmigrant labor, fear, and solidarity in LAThe balance of grief, activism, and joyCreating a book fair, party favors, and rituals of careEmpathy collapse and why joy is not frivolousJackie’s upcoming move for grad school + Denise’s tech trainingFollow Us:Follow Jackie: @jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

What if deciding to trust was the most radical thing you could do? In this episode, Denise and Jackie reflect on stepping into big transitions, staying grounded in community, and why choosing gratitude can change everything—even in the middle of a literal tornado.Key Times:   00:00:00 – New grounding practice: reading the 12 Steps for Everyone 00:03:35 – Upcoming travel, big transitions, and “quality problems” 00:05:00 – Trusting Universal Mother and standing in your own knowing 00:09:10 – Gratitude as a decision, not just a feeling 00:13:20 – Sobriety, service, and showing up for people who want help 00:16:20 – Supply chains, small businesses, and political ripple effects 00:22:00 – Grad school tornado: Jackie’s literal and emotional test 00:26:30 – Sprinting through work stress and finding your rhythm 00:29:20 – Human design talk: manifestors, generators, and collaboration 00:33:00 – Cozy spirituality: building new language for inner work 00:38:30 – Launching the online 12-step-inspired meetings 00:43:10 – Looking ahead: retreats, questions, and community connections 00:49:00 – You’re a miracle, drink some waterShow Notes / Episode Summary:In this cozy and expansive episode, Jackie and Denise explore what it means to move forward with intention when life feels big and unpredictable. Jackie has officially chosen her grad school path, and  in true Emergency Protocol fashion, was immediately tested with a literal tornado. They unpack what it means to trust yourself (and the universe) when your plans feel messy, delayed, or questioned by others.Denise opens up about choosing gratitude on purpose and how that shift has grounded her even while work feels overwhelming. They both reflect on the pressure of perfectionism, the labor of logistical backends, and the freedom of finding what’s natural to you. From the emotional clarity of the ACA serenity prayer to the spiritual reset of service, this episode is full of practical reflections, vulnerable laughter, and community invitations.Listeners also get the first official announcement of their new online community meetings, inspired by the 12 Steps for Everyone.Topics Covered:How to root into self-trust during chaotic transitionsChoosing gratitude as a daily spiritual practiceThe push/pull of parenting adult childrenThe emotional aftermath of grad school decisionsHuman design and embracing your natural workflowCreating new language for healing and introspectionThe launch of an online community space rooted in shared growthStaying connected through service, even when spread outFollow Us:Follow Jackie: @jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

What if being overwhelmed is the beginning of something great? In this episode, Denise and Jackie explore what it means to sit in uncertainty, embrace possibility, and stay grounded while navigating huge life transitions.Key Times:00:00:00 – A grounding breath and a quick disclaimer 00:02:12 – Jackie gets into grad school! Processing the surprise 00:05:29 – Decision-making anxiety and the infamous undergrad coin toss 00:10:20 – Logistics spiral: moving, driving, renting, storage, the dog 00:14:00 – Denise reflects on decision-making as a catalyst 00:21:00 – Facing change with curiosity instead of fear 00:24:00 – Grieving the shift as Jackie prepares to leave LA 00:29:00 – Spiritual resets, purposeful activism, and staying regulated 00:36:00 – Creativity, community, and finding the next expression of self 00:38:00 – The podcast continues! A look ahead at remote collaborationShow Notes / Episode Summary:In this heartfelt episode, Denise and Jackie reflect on Jackie’s acceptance into not one, but two graduate school programs—both out of state. What should be an exciting moment is also fraught with the anxiety of big choices, logistical chaos, and emotional goodbyes.Jackie opens up about the shock of getting in (despite a sub-3.0 GPA), the validation of receiving scholarships, and the layered overwhelm of what's to come: deciding between programs, planning a move, and figuring out how to bring her dog across the country. Denise reflects on how different this version of Jackie is from the young adult who once flipped a coin to choose her undergrad—and what it means to make decisions rooted in self-trust.The conversation weaves between personal growth, political tension, community building, and spiritual practice. From somatic resets at 11:11 to book recommendations and AA reflections, they hold space for both the fear of the unknown and the freedom it can bring.Topics Covered:The shock, relief, and joy of grad school acceptanceThe emotional labor of big life changesDecision fatigue and choosing from abundanceRejection tolerance and the power of perseveranceStaying spiritually grounded in times of crisisActivism, burnout, and choosing balanceCreating new rituals and community around growthLooking ahead: how the podcast will evolve with Jackie’s moveFollow Us:Follow Jackie: @jackiefreed.laFollow Denise: @denise.freedFollow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryoneFollow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

Key Times: 00:00:00 – Introduction: It’s been a while! Catching up after months away 00:06:45 – The January fires: Devastation, grief, and survival 00:12:30 – Leading through crisis: Denise’s real estate world turned upside down 00:18:05 – Finding community: Donation efforts and mutual aid 00:26:30 – Jackie’s grad school applications and career shifts 00:30:40 – A car gets towed: Navigating unexpected hurdles 00:36:10 – Moments of unexpected kindness: A soap dish and a bouquet 00:42:00 – Closing thoughts: Gratitude, deep breaths, and looking aheadShow Notes / Episode Summary:In this emotionally charged episode, Denise and Jackie return after an extended hiatus, reflecting on what has been an unbelievably intense year. From devastating wildfires that left entire communities displaced to personal struggles with leadership, career changes, and even a chaotic car towing experience, they unpack the rollercoaster of events that defined the past several months.Denise shares her firsthand experience of managing a real estate team through an unprecedented disaster, recounting the overwhelming grief and logistical challenges of helping clients and colleagues find stability in the aftermath of the fires. Jackie, on the other hand, navigates her own major life transitions, from leaving her grocery job to re-entering real estate full-time—all while applying to grad school and dealing with self-doubt along the way.Through it all, they highlight the small moments of kindness and connection that helped them persevere, including a touching encounter involving a simple soap dish and a gifted bouquet. They close the episode with a grounding breathwork exercise, encouraging listeners to reflect on gratitude and resilience in their own lives.Topics Covered:Processing grief and trauma after natural disastersThe complexities of leadership during crisis situationsThe challenges of re-entering real estate in an unpredictable marketNavigating self-doubt and imposter syndrome in grad school applicationsThe unexpected stress of getting a car towed (and the financial burden that comes with it)Finding joy in small, everyday acts of kindnessCultivating resilience through community and mutual aidFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone 

In this warm and thought-provoking episode, Denise and Jackie dive deep into the emotional and logistical chaos of the holiday season. Reflecting on their own family traditions—past and present—they explore how expectations around gift-giving, decorating, and hosting have evolved, especially after the loss of a beloved matriarch and the realities of aging and burnout.00:00:00 – A grounding breath and physical therapy insight00:04:45 – Catching up post-Thanksgiving and holiday expectations00:11:20 – Family Christmas traditions: scaling back and shifting values00:19:30 – Generational money trauma and financial insecurity00:27:40 – Women, labor, and holiday inequities across generations00:36:20 – The invisible work of motherhood and holiday planning00:44:00 – Reclaiming the holidays with boundaries and potlucks00:50:00 – A daily ACA reflection and asking for helpDenise reflects on her financial anxiety despite being in a secure position, and the generational patterns that might be keeping that stress alive. Jackie brings in insights from their ongoing ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) work, especially around inherited financial trauma and the societal conditioning that teaches women to carry the mental load without complaint.They touch on capitalism, the pink tax, the mental load of working mothers, and the invisible labor that makes the holidays “magical.” From packed shopping carts at Costco to fighting over tree lights, the episode is both funny and deeply resonant for anyone navigating family dynamics, societal expectations, and the holidays with their sanity intact.Topics Covered:The pressure and privilege of hosting family holidaysHow grief, generational trauma, and family traditions intersectScaling back gift-giving and reimagining meaningful ritualsFinancial insecurity and inherited beliefs around moneyGendered labor and the unpaid work of making holiday “magic”ACA reflections on recreating stress for familiarityDecentering men in conversations about equity and responsibilityThe value of asking for help and building true communityThe Big One podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-big-one-the-earthquake/id1645620672?i=1000579734783ACA Serenity Prayer: https://adultchildren.org/serenity-prayer/Follow Us:Follow Jackie: https://www.instagram.com/jackiefreed.la/ Follow Denise: https://www.instagram.com/denise.freed/ Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/12stepsforeveryone/ Follow us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@12stepsforeveryone Email us: [email protected]

In this vulnerable post-election episode, mother-daughter duo Denise and Jackie process their raw emotions following the November 2024 election results. The conversation opens with a grounding mindfulness practice and box breathing technique (breathe in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4) as they acknowledge the difficulty many are experiencing.The pair explore how to maintain presence and calm during anxiety-producing times, with Denise emphasizing the Serenity Prayer as her anchor: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Jackie shares her Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) version: “God grant me to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that one is me.”The conversation takes a thoughtful turn as they discuss values conflicts, self-advocacy in healthcare relationships, and the challenge of reconciling deeply held beliefs with maintaining human connection across divides. Jackie shares her experience of ending a therapeutic relationship after realizing their values alignment was crucial for her mental healthcare.The episode concludes with an exciting announcement of their new Sunday Zoom meetings at 6pm Pacific time, creating a safe space for people to process difficult emotions and find community during challenging times.Topics Covered:Mindfulness techniques including box breathing and the 5-4-3-2-1 exerciseUsing the Serenity Prayer as a practical tool during stressful timesThe importance of being present in the body during anxietyTheir updated Step 3: “We decide to trust that something bigger is taking care of us”Self-advocacy in therapeutic relationshipsCreating inclusive community spaces for authentic conversationBalancing political values and human connectionThe daily practice of Step 10: ongoing reflection and emotional processingJoin our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting on Sunday at 6pm PST, the meeting is password-protected so please fill out the form to receive the link and password!)The Big One podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-big-one-the-earthquake/id1645620672?i=1000579734783ACA Serenity Prayer: https://adultchildren.org/serenity-prayer/Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone 

Denise and Jackie discuss how they approached the run-up to the election and the importance of staying positive in times of uncertainty. The Serenity Prayer is great for extra support. Jackie shares the techniques she is using to calm her elevated anxiety. It’s all in the breath! Denise then goes into her experience of asking for a sign from her brother and receiving it in a surprising way during a Zoom call.The duo reflects on the community spirit Halloween invites and how they celebrated this year. Jackie discusses the importance of having an earthquake preparedness kit. Starting to build hers has significantly curbed her anxiety about a potential event. Jackie mentions a podcast that helped her understand that natural disasters are more about people helping each other rather than chaos and violence. Following the success of a second in-person meeting, they are hosting an online meeting! Be sure to sign up below. If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:No harm in positivity Power of breathShow me a mongooseSeeking joy and levityPotato or candy?Immigration and competition Earthquake preparationConscious breathResources Mentioned:Join our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCA (Zoom meeting is password-protected; please submit your email to receive it)Godmothers bookstore1440The Big One podcastFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

Content Warning: This episode discusses suicide and may be distressing for some listeners.Denise and Jackie reflect on their first in-person meeting, which started awkwardly but became fluid as the ice melted. They’re so happy to have brought to life a welcoming, neutral, and free space for people to attend, share, and feel heard. The meeting was one of the many commitments Denise has been juggling lately. She acknowledges that while being part of a community is valuable, so too are rest and balance. They then reflect on the third step of the 12 steps, the importance of deciding to commit to recovery. Each woman shares her personal experience of choosing to live and seek help. Both professionally and personally, having a supportive place to go to makes all the difference. They then discuss the concept of affinity groups. There is potential for affinity groups to emerge naturally from the community they created. Even though it has sometimes felt slowgoing, they reflect on the progress their community has made as well as themselves on their journeys. If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:First in-person meeting Balancing commitments and communityH.A.L.T.Role of decision in recoveryThe not-so-gray areaShift into actionImportance of connection and belongingResources Mentioned:Join our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCAACA https://adultchildren.org/AA https://www.aa.org/Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

Denise shares her last days in the hospital together with her grandmother. While it was heavy and emotional, of course, she explains why she did not feel depleted by the grief. Denise and Jackie discuss the importance of telling the people you love that you love them and the different ways of doing so. Jackie talks about saying goodbye to her grandma while at a wedding and recent mental health updates. She is looking forward to an upcoming trial with Ritalin even though trying a new medication brings anxiety. Denise then shares how the book, Fire, We Make the Beast Beautiful, has made her feel at peace with her anxiety. Ultimately, living any kind of life, a healthy, happy one, or a chaotic one, is a choice. A staple of joyous living is being part of a community. They agree that the effort and vulnerability required to genuinely connect are absolutely worth it. If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:Denise’s hospital experience Showing people you love themSaying goodbye at a weddingBeginning RitalinOutrunning anxietyACA meeting explorationThe hard work of livingThe healing power of togethernessResources Mentioned:Join our upcoming meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCAStay tuned for a "diagnosed but mom said no" hat giveaway!ACA https://adultchildren.org/AA https://www.aa.org/Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

Denise and Jackie jump right into Jackie’s ADHD diagnosis history and possible signs from her childhood that she had ADHD. They then turn to the upcoming holiday season and the social anxiety often accompanying celebratory gatherings. New situations, in general, can summon socially anxious feelings in even the most outgoing people. Denise shares a recent experience attending a new meeting, reflects on the social anxiety she felt in the past of trying to come off as sexually appealing, and how those insecurities impacted her perceived self-worth. Jackie is preparing to begin dating again but is first working through a few specific limiting beliefs. She updates Denise on a recent trip to Portland to visit a good friend and how her friend treated her so well that she feels inspired to be a better friend. They then discuss the nuances of giving and receiving, sometimes feeling more comfortable on one side than the other, and how being of service is the ultimate antidote to feeling low. If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:#DiagnosedButMomSaidNoStressy and depress-y AKA social anxietyAttending an ACA meeting Difference between nervous, anxious, and social anxietyPreparing to dateHow to be a friendThe nuances of giving and receiving Resources Mentioned:Join our upcoming meetingsStay tuned for a "diagnosed but mom said no" hat giveaway!ACAAAFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

Denise and Jackie go in on connection. Denise shares her joyous experience at Godmothers Bookstore, learning from and being in the presence of amazing, powerful women. A part of the joy was from being in a high-functioning third space. As the presidential election draws closer, Denise organizes a get-together with friends to write postcards to swing states, simultaneously creating a connecting activity and a feeling of participation.Jackie updates us on how week six of her new medication is going. She feels lighter and more upbeat while also being aware of the extra layer of responsibility that is keeping up with the required scheduling. She’s even picked up meditating again! Denise shares how she is rediscovering the importance of doing things during her rest time that bring her soul joy, no matter how busy she has been lately. However, she is still reserving days for vacation at home. There can be a fine line between joy and depletion. Trusting your intuition on whether something will add to or take away from a restful experience takes practice and awareness. If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:Godmothers Bookstore experience Importance of connection pre-electionMedication, maintenance, and meditation Getting things doneFree fries and getting out thereAdvocate for yourself no matter whatResources Mentioned:Godmothers Bookstore https://godmothers.com/Getting Things Done by David Allen https://gettingthingsdone.com/ACA https://adultchildren.org/Al-Anon https://al-anon.org/AA https://www.aa.org/Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

As the seasons start to shift, so do Denise and Jackie. The pair discuss the upcoming election season, experiences of grief, and Jackie’s ADHD diagnosis. With the bumpy month of August behind them, election season looms. This is a friendly reminder to everyone listening to vote! While Denise and Jackie digress that they don’t have as much time as they did during the last election, which was mid-pandemic, they are still doing their part to get the word out for everyone to show up to the polls. However, they disagree on the state of societies post-pandemic and share what they each see as the highs and lows of post-pandemic culture. Jackie shares how her favorite mantra continues to support her during this time. Denise shares how this time of year brings up sadness about the loss of her brother that her body flags before her mind. She shares funny childhood memories, while Jackie shares a different sort of childhood memory. They discuss the many ways people experience grief and the importance of maintaining boundaries during that process. Jackie then updates us on how her new medication is going. She also provides insight into her current routine and the challenges of adjusting to new habits. They both have been people-ing a lot more lately and feeling considerably lighter. If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:02:02 Candy corn hot takes05:18 Vote!!9:52 Pandemic reflections 18:32 Returning to the mantra20:17 Remembering Damon30:27 No is a sentence35:18 Medication update40:32 More people-ing 47:52 ADHD diagnosisResources Mentioned:Check your voter registration statusMetropolis IIFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

After getting a new depression and anxiety prescription in the last episode, Jackie follows up with how she is adjusting. She’s started to make a great effort to get out of the house to be with her friends and shares a strategy she’s using to do that. Meanwhile, Denise has been busy helping her other daughter move, juggling new changes at work, and organizing a sober retreat. This year’s retreat was as busy and beautiful as ever, including a life celebration of her former sponsor, Claire. Despite a packed schedule, Denise has been prioritizing rest among the chaos.Following a few synchronicities, Jackie checked out Al-Anon for the first time. She shares a passage from Al-Anon's big blue book. The experience has been a catalyst for momentum across her life, at her own pace, which is worth celebrating! Denise shares her enthusiasm and recognizes the role of accountability for making progress in all areas of life. Jackie then shares her experience of going to ACA for the first time. They discuss an underlying theme across 12 step programs, which is ultimately taking responsibility for yourself. If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:00:49 New meds update07:11 Organizing a sober retreat21:32 Jackie goes to Al-Anon for the first time!31:50 Jackie goes to ACA for the first time!44:29 Being scared and doing the thing anywayResources Mentioned:Register for virtual and in-person 12S4E meetings AA meeting directoryAl-Anon meeting directory ACA meeting directory Courage to Change - One Day at a Time in Al-AnonReshma SaujaniFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone 

As Denise juggles a hectic schedule and prepares to host a sober retreat, Jackie continues to feel not okay. They discuss the infinite shapes anxiety and depression can take in people and how it defies logical sense. Jackie shares her recent experience of surrendering and asking for help, making doctor’s appointments, and switching medication. There are a lot of factors to consider when switching medication, and Jackie explains her anxieties around a few of them. Denise suggests reframing some of Jackie’s fears about the future. Being present can feel like the safest place to live, though it is often the hardest place to find. Sometimes, taking medication helps Jackie to find that present place. The bottom line is that change can be hard, really hard. In those times, there’s nothing wrong with external validation. That can take the form of affirmations from friends and family to getting an achievement chip at an AA meeting. Ultimately, Jackie’s willingness to try medication again is a win. Every small step towards change is a win. Denise and Jackie wrap the episode by celebrating that win and giving loving affirmations to the audience. If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:00:22 Denise has been busy!04:25 Acknowledging negatives and positives07:45 Depression and obsession 16:25 Looking for community 18:29 Anxieties about new medication25:25 Fears of the future34:27 Change is hard!Resources Mentioned:Join our meetings: https://forms.gle/4VxnNUnev1RoRJMCAFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone 

Jackie talks about her recent experience of realizing she needed additional help, selecting a new therapist, signing up for mental health coaching, and obtaining a psychiatrist referral. While taking action is a great first step, that doesn’t mean it feels easy. Denise shares her experiences of seeking help. For her, the waiting game is incredibly tedious and, sometimes, offputting. But there is growth! Like when she willingly waited in lines in Japan… She received a lot of help from AA through sponsorship. They discuss anonymity's role in those relationships and the responsibility of being a container for someone. The duo wraps up by discussing what’s been happening lately in their lives and how to chip away at the piles of to-do’s. They continue to get closer to the launch of their in-person meetings, which they hope will be a great place for people to take that courageous first step of asking for help. Be sure to sign up below if you’re interested in attending!If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:(01:09) Back to square one: getting help (05:48) Juggling referrals and new therapist meetings (12:13) Waiting in lines in Japan(19:56) Sponsorship help in AA(24:38) Getting clear to stop the spiral(28:21) One outing a dayResources Mentioned:Meeting signup formFind a Twelve Step group near youSign up for meeting notifications Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone 

For Jackie, summer brings sunny melancholy and big birthday feelings. This year is particularly rough as she acclimates to a changing friend group. Denise finds the birthday season ideal for auditing how aligned her intentions are with her reality, acknowledging, however, that she often has unrealistic expectations for herself. A forever pro to attending meetings for Denise is the reassuring social aspect, and they hope their meetings will provide a similar comfort for people. Jackie reflects that she’s been experiencing a lot of ups and downs, grappling with work-life balance lately. They discuss the role that finding the right balance of medications may have in how Jackie approaches tasks. Denise swears by her daily practice of reflection, amends, and forgiveness for building discipline to tackle life’s responsibilities. The pair then discuss victimizing, the challenges of finding the right therapist, and how they are collectively working through generational trauma. It's just another day for these superheroes!If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:(00:07) Shared birthday celebrations (06:45) Adjusting to changing friend groups(16:52) How to be an adult(24:44) When to seek therapy(36:41) Working through generational traumaResources Mentioned:Find a Twelve Step group near youSign up for meeting notifications "Getting Things Done" bookFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone 

Denise shares how she maintains her long-standing friendships, many of whom she met through AA. Friendships as a sober person going to meetings are especially important because you become a part of a supportive community and feel welcomed time and time again. Jackie and Denise discuss navigating gossip, secrets, and building trust within friend groups. Remember, words have consequences!Jackie shares how social media sometimes gives her the illusion of maintaining her friendships and the very modern phenomenon of “pebbling.” Spontaneously calling or texting someone these days has become more nuanced than ever! They also discuss the challenges of forming new adult friendships. Denise shares that some friendships occasionally need to be let go of, or she is simply not open to them. Most often, people are stuck in victim energy, and it’s OK not to want to support them in that. The underlying importance of AA meetings and friendships is being around people. We’re human, and we need presence. Presence is everything. When you do find those people, it’s essential to hold on to them and nurture those relationships. If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:(02:39) AA friendships(08:33) Childhood friendships (10:10) Restraint of pen and tongue(20:39) Social media’s role in maintaining friendships(26:45) New adult friendships(32:54) Letting go of friendships(37:01) Upcoming birthdaysResources Mentioned:Find a Twelve Step group near youFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone 

In this current season of financial stress, Jackie is not feeling OK. A lack of financial freedom coupled with grim healthcare options is feeling heavy. In the midst of a cost-of-living and housing crisis, anything beyond our basic needs, like therapy, can feel superfluous. For the first time in a while, Jackie joined Denise at a Twelve Step Meeting. She recalls the cultural norms and rituals of the meetings that felt new to her. The pair also attended a different kind of meeting at a women’s wellness center centered around networking. They discuss their different approaches to attending social events and what makes them feel comfortable or otherwise when going to a gathering where they don’t know anyone. As Denise and Jackie continue strategizing for the meetings they plan to host, they are carefully considering where they want the meetings to be like traditional Twelve Step meetings and where they don’t. Jackie raises the importance of third spaces. As they are on a decline, their own meeting spaces will hopefully become a kind of third space for their community. For Denise, there is great comfort in knowing she could attend a meeting anywhere around the world. While the meeting design conversation still has a way to go, one thing is for sure: no bigots allowed!If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:(01:39) Financial stress, lack of affordable housing, and inadequate medical care(04:01) attends a Twelve Step Meeting (07:58) Open meetings welcome everyone (13:31) Socializing preferences, social anxiety, and social habits(30:56) The need for more third places(38:12) Feeling vulnerable and uncertain Resources Mentioned:Find a Twelve Step group near youSearch for an online AA meetingFind an Al-Anon meeting near youFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone 

Denise and Jackie are back! And they’ve got the blues. They share the highlights and lowlights from their recent trip to Japan, process in real time what they learned from the experience, and offer their strategies for working through depression.Traveling has a funny way of bringing things up, and the duo’s time in Japan was no exception. Denise shares that her travel stress starts as soon as she decides to go somewhere and how that stress showed up as she prepared to depart for Japan. In spite of last-minute flight changes, her attitude of wonder and acceptance allowed her to move through the potentially stressful situations with a feeling of graceful flow. Instead, she views the hiccups as tests of actually letting go of a perfect or planned outcome. The pair reflect on the onsen ordeal and the little blessings present in the midst of the unexpected. Denise and Jackie are still navigating their own versions of a sticky readjustment period back home in Los Angeles. Jackie feels especially ungrounded as she navigates her Saturn return and is even tempted to move to Japan! But as Denise reminds her, wherever you go, there you are, which, in a nutshell, means we can’t escape our problems. Jackie handles feeling depressed through the process she learned in therapy of weighing discomforts, whereas Denise manages her post-vacation depression by planning another vacation.If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon. Episode Outline: (01:59) Reentry is rough(04:25) Managing pre-travel stress(13:17) Tests of letting go(23:04) Trials at the onsen(33:44) Anxiety from feeling obligated (38:41) Adjusting to returning homeFollow Us:Subscribe on YouTubeFollow Jackie Follow Denise Follow us on Instagram Follow us on TikTokEmail us 

So much can happen in a day! One of the 12 Step Program’s popular adages, “one day at a time,” can really feel like too long for Jackie. Instead, she finds that sometimes, focusing solely on primal needs, one after the other, one minute at a time, can work better. Denise and Jackie then each share what’s worked and not worked for pulling themselves out of the dumps. For Jackie, she’s still deep in a funk however, she shares a certain mantra that has kept her afloat during this rough time. One of her biggest frustrations at the moment is taxes, feeling constant setbacks around getting the task done, and being overwhelmed by how her life plays into the state of the world.They then discuss how to approach going to meetings when newly sober. There are so many kinds of meetings and resources to choose from, especially following the Zoom revolution. Jackie shares why she carries imposter syndrome at the idea of going to certain meetings and how she continues to relive step one of the new 12 Steps Reimagined that they wrote. Denise lovingly offers great tips to counteract the blues, and the duo says goodbye ahead of their big trip to Japan. If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:Why “one day at a time” doesn’t always workAddiction isn’t a choiceIs fake it til you make it helpful or harmful? Solutions to not feeling greatThe “choice” of self-medicationResources for when you first get soberRock bottoms and surrenderRole of values in decision-makingJackie’s next action stepResources Referenced:The Values Deck by Jaimi BrooksAA MeetingFind a Gambler's AnonymousAl-AnonDebtors AnonymousAdult Children of AlcoholicsFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone 

First, Denise shares how a huge recent work event unfolded in Catalina and how she returned to center amidst the ups and downs. Jackie also experienced a rough week dealing with job rejection and coming to terms with her feelings about living in LA. By focusing on her needs in the present moment, one at a time, she is steadily working her way through the discomfort.One way Jackie has been coping is to get off social media, and the duo reflect on the current state of Instagram and Facebook. Sometimes, putting in the social “sweat equity” is what the job calls for. Other times, it's putting the phone down and living. The pair are currently writing a workbook together and preparing for an in-person meet up in April. They describe their meeting approach as a new 12-step program for people who don’t identify with having an “-ism,” like alcoholism, though -ism folks are very welcome too. Denise and Jackie wrap up by reviewing how their planning for an upcoming family trip to Japan is coming along and reminding themselves and their listeners that no matter the depths of despair that you are feeling, you are still being cradled and looked after by something. Take those small action steps when you’re feeling blue. They really add up!If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:Finding peace in a corporate weddingBalancing job rejection with primal needsSocial media priorities Denise and Jackie’s workbook is on the wayA new kind of 12-step programUpcoming trip / nervous system resetFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone 

Denise and Jackie discuss the “poopeh” incident, moving through uncertainty, and communicating their needs before an upcoming trip.First, Jackie shares a stressful story about what should have been a nice Saturday cycle with her dog that turned out to be a “poopeh” nightmare. She reflects that while she wants to do as much with her aging dog as possible, she also needs to keep in mind the rock metaphor within her daily practice.Recently up against a strong wave of uncertainty, Denise shares the book she turns to when she finds herself in a scarcity mindset to pry herself out. Time and time again, she has found that submerging herself in gratitude pulls her through the rocky moments. She also increases the number of meetings she attends and takes the time to put a foundation in place to remove the unknowns to be able to better interact with the upcoming thing that is causing her anxiety.Lastly, Jackie and Denise discuss the different anxieties and uncertainties they have around an upcoming trip to Japan. While their concerns differ, communicating about them beforehand helps clear the air and their minds as they prepare for a new adventure.  If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon. Topics Covered: The “poopeh” storyRock metaphor in daily practiceFacing uncertainty around upcoming travelHow to be present during future-based anxiety?Anxiety around everyday life: new office, work, upcoming tripStepping into the unknown and it’s going to be fine!“What do you need?”Resources Referenced:The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace WattlesFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

Denise and Jackie talk about situations that make them feel “itchy,” developing an Emergency Protocol mini workshop, addressing resentments, and using the steps to move forward.Starting off, Denise and Jackie talk about their updates on their new podcast studio and give thanks to those who helped them create their space and also navigate life using their protocol by taking steps back, finding the calm, and learning to adapt.Then, Jackie talks about a situation at work where she had an “itchy” moment with customers who disrupted her rhythm and energy.Denise mentions how they are working to create a mini workshop for Emergency Protocol, reports on their progress, and how they hope this will help others how that has evolved. The hope is to reach people that relate to their method of the steps. Denise reflects on a past sponsor that really helped her through tough times and reflects on the ripple effect of her sponsorship.Lastly, Denise and Jackie reflect on addressing resentments: when to dig in and when to let go. They talk about the desire to compost some of those emotions instead of holding on to them and letting them fester, and using the steps to look beyond the emotions and behavior. If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! You’re a miracle. See you in 2024. Topics Covered:Emergency Protocol’s new studio space Using the ProtocolJackie feels “itchy”Developing an Emergency Protocol mini workshopAddressing resentmentsEmotional composting and using the stepsResources Mentioned:Ross Gay: “The Book of Delights” and “The Book of (More) Delights”Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

Denise and Jackie share their COVID Christmas experience, Jackie’s Saturn Return, and taking action to find the ideal lifestyle for you.First, Jackie and Denise reflect on Christmas in the Freed family… featuring COVID-19. Both co-hosts share their experiences and feelings that came along with being sick during the holidays. This spirals into a conversation about how 2023 went for both Jackie and Denise — including updates about the cozy podcast studio on its way! Then, Jackie unveils her Saturn Return shift involving a potential European career! She shares the different challenges within certain work structures and Jackie and Denise discuss how being a 30-something causes a shift in perspective. Denise also notes that while circumstances can change, we are still the same. This turns into a conversation with Jackie about the question, “Is this the life I want to live?” and the types of amends to take to get closer to an ideal state of living (and being!). You heard it here… probably not first… but, there is a person and environment for everyone.Lastly, Denise and Jackie reflect on having fun in their younger years and ways to bring that same energy into 2024. As Denise says: “It’s not all going to be fun — but I’m going to make it fun because I want to have fun.” Happy New Year everyone! If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! You’re a miracle. See you in 2024. Topics Covered:Denise’s Christmas COVID experience Jackie’s Christmas COVID experienceSurviving the giant wave of 2023Jackie’s big Saturn Return shifts The fear of not living the life you’re supposed to liveAmends taken to move closer to the life you want Taking action to help navigate challenges Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

Denise and Jackie discuss two big amends, The Promises, and personal growth on the other side of resistance. First, Jackie and Denise reflect on big moments in 2023. Jackie shares two big amends from wedding and tax season and the emotion around doing the “hard, but right, thing.” Then, Jackie and Denise share the history of a decades-old Freed Christmas Eve tradition and reflect on the guilt that came up from not leaning into usual holiday festivities. From there, the co-hosts discuss The AA Promises and what has shifted since they last interacted with the message, including its connection to the ninth step in Alcoholics Anonymous. This leads to a conversation about getting uncomfortable with your vulnerabilities and the influence technology has (for better or worse) as a communication device to support each other. Their Emergency Protocol: Do whatever you have to do to feel better. Lastly, Denise shares an office visualization workshop where everyone was forced to make phone calls they were putting off and she and Jackie discuss the freedom and relief from taking action. At the end of the day, it’s good to connect with people. But what’s harder: The resistance to doing something scary, or not doing it at all?  If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. We’ll see you soon.Topics Covered:Jackie and Denise reflect on big 2023 moments Jackie’s first big amend: wedding edition Jackie’s second big amend: tax edition Freed Christmas Eve guilt  The Ninth Step (AA) PromisesEmergency Protocol: Do what you have to do to feel betterResponding to the resistance of “What needs to be done?”  Resources Referenced:The 9th Step (AA) Promises Follow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

Denise and Jackie detail their time at a corporate retreat, the process of navigating addictive behaviors, and everyday delights.First, Denise and Jackie update listeners on the past few weeks and their updated episode cadence. This includes Denise’s social capital depletion following Thanksgiving #2. Then, Denise and Jackie dive into their experience at a corporate retreat — which featured the 12-step meeting Denise founded! Jackie comments on the difference between attending meetings vs. participating in them and the ease of dropping into intimacy and connection at a conference built on more than networking. This shifts into a conversation about recognizing each other’s humanness and the idea that we are not meant to be alone, regardless of our differences. From there, Jackie and Denise discuss the “flipped switch” feeling around addiction. Denise shares a recent conversation around microdosing plant medicine and shares a story about attending 12-step meetings while being California sober. Denise and Jackie comment on the magic of honesty when gathered around others and having people you can reach out to for support while navigating addictive behaviors or mental health challenges. Lastly, Denise and Jackie tease a section from The Book of Delights (a topic on the next episode!). Denise shares a story around one of its concepts, “finding delight in the everyday,” featuring her post office and Van Morrison. A simple, yet delightful, feel-good moment — with feel-good music.If you’re interested in being a future podcast guest or want to attend our meetings (once they’re up and running), send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. Happy Holidays!Topics Covered:Why Denise started a 12-step meeting within her companyCelebrating Denise’s 12-step meeting at a corporate retreat!Jackie’s perspective on the power of sharing at meetings The magic of being authentic to yourself and with others The fine line of the addiction switch Denise’s story about self-medicating vs. professionally medicatingA delightful post-office + Van Morrison experience   Resources Referenced:The Book of Delights by Ross GayFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

In this episode, Denise and discuss the question, “How do you not drink?” They acknowledge the willingness to make changes to support mental and/or physical wellness and provide tips and tools for the feelings that may arise in response.  First, Denise and Jackie acknowledge the heaviness swirling around the world. Denise shares how she has spent 37 years of sobriety building a “Black Belt of letting go, and Jackie provides tools she uses to help shift from a reactive to preventative mindset (naps included!). Then, Denise and Jackie share updates about the podcast, including a future recording studio located in Denise’s garage! This shifts the hosts into a conversation about being concerned with what you look like, and the difference between America and other countries around body acceptance. From there, Denise and Jackie illustrate the stark difference in generational sober examples. Denise shares a story about seeking acceptance while newly sober and the impact sober role models could have had on her experience — which is why Emergency Protocol’s shift from informative (audio) to community building (video) is incredibly exciting!Lastly, Denise and Jackie have a conversation about the potentially dangerous path of alternative medicine treatment for addicts and alcoholics and the deep craving it can create in someone going through recovery.Oh, and we’re curious: Do you think wineries are wasteful? So much wine ends up… in a bucket. Send us an email at [email protected] with your thoughts and any other questions you have! We can’t wait to hear from you. Topics Covered:The choice to not drink in response to the heaviness of the world How Denise has built a “Black Belt of letting go” over 37 years Tools Jackie uses to shift from being reactive to preventativeThe rabbit hole of being concerned with appearance The effect of what younger generations are exposed to How the rise in alternative treatments can affect addicts and alcoholicsA discussion around wine bars, wineries, and wasteResources Referenced:Serenity Prayer by Reinhold NiebuhrThe Book of Delights by Ross GayFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

Emergency Protocol explores the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in a way that is accessible to people who aren't addicted, and with gentler and less patriarchal language that still captures the essence of the work. In this episode, Denise and Jackie recap and review each of the 12 steps and share lessons and reflections they've picked up along the way.    First, the mother-daughter duo recap the emotional pull of the last couple of weeks and a recent New Moon Meditation experience they had. Then, they dig into each of the steps and detail their reflections and takeaways from each one. Jackie shares how her spiritual practice is a form of support in the way she both perceives and interacts with the steps, and Denise expresses her reflections from the point of view of someone who’s been through the 12 Steps and is still active in the Alcoholics Anonymous community. The 12 Steps Reimagined was built from an al-anon model, to be supportive of people in their pursuit of being better. A willingness to address (family) trauma can lead to amends, forgiveness, and gratitude for the journey along the way. It’s part of a commitment to ourselves, as self-healers having a human experience in the world.  We are proud of each other (and ourselves) for committing to this work and podcast, and we are even more proud to have formed a new Emergency Protocol community with each and every one of you. It means a lot. Thank you so much for listening. We have exciting things on the horizon! If you’d like to submit anything or stay in touch, please reach out to us at [email protected] Covered:Step 1: Surrender and admission of oneselfStep 2: A distinction between anticipating a feeling and being present with itStep 3: The big exhale around hope, faith, and trustStep 4: Inventory: writing down fact vs. fiction and the possibility of something else Step 5: Sharing the inventory: The accountability of releasing shame with someone elseStep 6: Recognizing what is and isn’t for us and responding accordingly Step 7: Being open to a different outcome or a different perspective toward truthStep 8: The vulnerability of reaching out to someone to genuinely make an amendStep 9: Recognizing that feeling better is not easy, but easier than hopelessnessStep 10: The daily reflection checklist of, “How did I do today?”Step 11: The choice to not be a victim and the awareness of the layersStep 12: A sense of belonging to be able to help others and provide supportWhat the 12 Steps for Everyone community can look forward to Resources Mentioned:Listen to past episodes of Emergency Protocol Getting Things Done by David Allen12 Promises of Alcoholics AnonymousFind a Twelve Step group near youFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

Today, Denise and Jackie explore the last step in the 12 Steps Reimagined, Step 12, an active choice of being present in response to previous steps. A lot of work has transpired in steps 1–11, so this is a time where leaning into a spiritual practice of love is part of stepping into something bigger. They begin by sharing details and reflections from their two-week family trip to Denmark and Sweden. Denise shares that grief accompanied the trip in response to an accident involving a friend and colleague, yet sees his life as inspiration to live as boldly and lovingly as you can. From there, Denise and Jackie share the entire list of the 12 Steps Reimagined and dissect the language and feeling around Step 12. Then, Jackie shares a sadness toolkit tip from her therapist in response to a breakup, and Denise illustrates Step 10 in the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Big Book about asking questions to spot check yourself. They come back to the statement that “life is for living,” with the belief that you have agency to deny certain things in order to make more time, energy, and money to do what you actually want to do. Living and loving your life unapologetically allows you to live life in the greatest capacity.  As the last step in the 12 Steps Reimagined, practicing Step 12 is sometimes inconvenient, scary, and doesn’t always feel good. Doing it anyway allows other people to be who they are with you in a really beautiful way. 12 Steps for Everyone, one step at a time. Topics Covered:A family birthday trip in Denmark and Sweden Jackie and Denise recount their three-week hiatus and reflect on how awe and grief can co-exist Denise and Jackie share how they’ve applied the 12 steps in meditation and conversationA reframe about living life how you want to The practice of being mindful of the steps and the overarching takeaway of the stepsDenise and Jackie share personal stories from their spiritual practice around trauma, gratitude, and amends A shout out to the Angel City Football Club (ACFC) team, management, and social media Resources Mentioned:Check out the active travel company, Backroads! OurHouse Grief Support CenterFind a Twelve Step group near youFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone 

Today, Denise and Jackie explore Step 11, an active choice of being present in response to previous steps: “We welcome mindfulness, grace, and gratitude into our thoughts and prayers.” Moving forward is only possible if agency is recognized in order to accept things and people as they are, but also put up boundaries where needed in our individual lives. That’s where Step 11 comes in — as an all-encompassing reminder. It is the work of accepting where you’re at, while allowing your head and feet to feel grounded. They begin by deconstructing the idea that this step is a form of spiritual bypassing, but rather, welcoming mindfulness, gratitude, and grace into thoughts and behaviors. Denise relates grace to walking a mossy path that is soft and free, going into any situation with your head held high and dignity intact. This requires awareness, not only of our situations and environments, but when choosing to react or not. From there, Denise shares why she specifically can remember the Serenity Prayer, and language she has explored in community around the new experience of being curious to different ways of thinking. Then, Jackie shares how Step 11 shows up as  maintenance across the 12-step program, in support of her mental health, but also, in favor of actions that reflect autonomy. Practicing Step 11 is a reminder to lean on these tools and come back to the small moments, especially when things feel out of reach. Topics Covered:How agency can leave the body when you’re faced with something triggeringHow mindfulness, gratitude, and grace show up and represent The practice of gratitude and how to find things to be grateful forNot acting on integrity and how that can influence the way you respond Examples of mindfulness and suggestions for when you can’t access mindfulnessResources Mentioned:Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects by Bill P., Todd W., and Sara S.The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. WattlesWe Can Do Hard Things Podcast 169: Why We Love the Way We Love: Attachment Styles with Dr. Becky Kennedy Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Dr. Becky KennedyHerb K. on YouTubeFind a Twelve Step group near youFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

Today, Denise and Jackie unpack Step 10, a culmination of the previous steps to encourage self-awareness and steady growth: "We maintain a daily practice of reflection, amends, and forgiveness." Recovery is an ongoing journey all about refinement and healing. It's like peeling back layers of an onion, and sometimes you might view things differently than you did a year ago or get out of sync with yourself and the world around you. That's why Step 10 is so important  — it helps you reassess, realign, and get back on track.They start by exploring the power of self-reflection, as keeping tabs on your daily actions can help you measure your progress and note any wrongdoings. They stress that making amends goes beyond apologizing; it involves being aware of your behavior to avoid repeating harmful behaviors. From there, they discuss forgiveness and how it helps to release any resentment or pain caused by others or yourself. Denise shares her daily practices that promote self-reflection, tips for getting started, and how amends and forgiveness can manifest in many shapes. Staying sober lowers any tolerance for negativity, so Denise and Jackie focus on setting boundaries to maintain their well-being and prevent toxicity. Denise cut out any toxic friendships, cooking wine, and other paraphernalia when she was first getting sober, while Jackie unfollows people on social media or deletes their contact info from her phone. Practicing Step 10 daily is crucial. It becomes a way of life, ensuring that your intentions continue to align with your actions. Topics Covered:Denise's daily routines to reinforce reflection, amends, and forgivenessWays to extend forgiveness to others and yourself Advice for setting boundaries How communities encourage open communication and prevent bad behaviorWhy these steps are designed as building blocks and don’t need to be followed in order A reminder that healing is a gradual and ever-changing process Resources Mentioned:Find a Twelve Step group near youFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone

In this episode, Jackie and Denise share how Step 9 is where sh*t gets more real. The steps prior were about inner work and processing, but this step is about ownership and confronting your actions — communicating your accountability to those affected.   In the traditional 12 Step model, the 9th step is to “Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” In the 12 Steps for Everyone framework, this step is about making amends, with a focus on “I” statements. This includes referring to the list made in Step 8, and then working with somebody to determine which amends need to be made. (This is why you don’t toss Step 4!) Jackie and Denise also share ways how making amends can be sabotaged in hopes of ignoring the issue or abandoning it. Jackie acknowledges an amend she needs to make, and Denise shares a story about her last alcoholic job before getting sober. The duo also discuss  that making amends doesn't guarantee a repaired relationship, and that amends — whether expressed or received — have to acknowledge boundaries put in place, by ourselves or others. Hey listeners! Denise and Jackie are planning a hybrid group event. Remote folks: Which digital platform do you enjoy (or don’t enjoy)? Los Angeles locals: What part of the city are you in, and what days + times fit your schedule? Send your response via  DM or email. See you next week!Topics Covered:Step 9 is about making amends and going outside of yourself Examples of ways someone might try to sabotage making amends Jackie and Denise share stories of accountability vs. boundaries  Denise’s recommendation for Jackie’s amend The Steps as tools and guardrails for negative feelings that come up Jackie and Denise discuss “bootstrapping,” workplace culture, and graceResources Mentioned:Virtual event recommendations: Send us a message on Instagram or email usFind a Twelve Step group near youFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone Email us: [email protected]

In this episode, Denise and Jackie are discussing the prickly feeling of apologizing for (and then changing) your behavior. In our toolkit for living — the 12 Steps Reimagined — this week’s focus is Step 8: “We list each of the harms we’ve caused that require amends.” It’s important not to let the fear of making theIn the traditional 12 Step model, the 8th step is to “Made a list of all persons we had harmed and become willing to make amends to them all.” In the 12 Steps for Everyone framework, this step is about our behavior and the patterns that form as a result. Simply: Believe actions, not words. While Step 7 was about humility, Step 8 is leading with the resource material you wrote down and kept from Step 4, which looks a lot like a fat slice of… humble pie. Denise shares a story about an outstanding warrant, and Jackie talks about how recording the podcast has made her a lot more aware of coping mechanisms and how to find what questions need to be asked. The two also express appreciation for being welcomed in spaces where there are no requirements. Lastly, Denise and Jackie are planning a hybrid group event! Remote listeners: Which digital platform do you enjoy (or don’t enjoy)? Los Angeles locals — what part of the city are you in, and what days + times fit your schedule? Send your response via  DM or email. Topics Covered:Step 8 is about leading with changed behavior, not words Step 8 examples about an outstanding warrant and driving through a liquor storeGuidance on keeping your amendment solely about your actions  Why Jackie uses read receipts to hold herself accountable Other ways human choose to not feel their emotionsJackie’s therapy reflection about inherent value Resources Mentioned:We want to celebrate you! Fill out our celebration formVirtual event recommendations: Send us a message on Instagram or email usFind a Twelve Step group near youFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone Email us: [email protected]

In this episode, Denise and Jackie open by sharing laughs over social media and how Denise’s post was shared thousands of times. (What does that actually mean?) In our toolkit for living — the 12 Steps Reimagined — this week’s focus is Step 7: “Our actions are based in humility and in the service of our highest and best selves.” In the traditional 12 Step model, the 7th step is to “Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings." In the 12 Steps for Everyone framework, this step is the second part of “the long game,” and is about being self-aware and leaning into the good after acknowledging the patterns identified in Step 6. We can become unpredictable in reaction to both our and others’ choices. The takeaway of Step 7 is serving our highest and best self — doing the right thing and taking control.  Jackie believes Step 7 is about correcting ourselves and shares a story about repeatedly missing a meeting, and Denise and Jackie find ways to “do something different next time.” Within their conversation, they discuss Denise’s lack of patience around driving and family events (with carpooling or driving separately as the solution). They also share how awareness shows us our unalignment — yet we have to live with ourselves, regardless. While Step 6 is about the willingness to live with our actions, Step 7 is about finding a little more freedom. Lastly, Denise and Jackie wrap up the show by shouting out their listeners around the world, and share their opinions about picking up dog poop. Topics Covered:Step 7 about recognizing your role and responding accordinglyA Step 7 example involving time blindness and family dynamicsThe difference between humility and humiliation and learning to be curiousDenise’s impatience, a newfound appreciation for OpenTable, and Disneyland Service as an action wordAwareness when acting out of alignment of our highest and best self How doing the right thing is an act of generosity Resources Mentioned:Episode 10 event space recommendations: Send us a message on Instagram or email usFind a Twelve Step group near youFollow Us:Follow Jackie: jackiefreed.la Follow Denise: @denise.freed Follow us on Instagram: @12stepsforeveryone Follow us on TikTok: @12stepsforeveryone Email us: [email protected]