Episode 69 - Helping Your Child Through Big Emotions: Lessons from DBT with Helen Wilde

What does your child really need when their emotions feel overwhelming? In this episode, I'm joined by Helen Wilde, a systemic psychotherapist and DBT therapist with over 25 years of experience working in CAMHS with children, young people, and families. Together, we explore how ideas from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) can support emotional regulation in everyday parenting. Helen explains that when children are overwhelmed, they're not able to think things through or respond to solutions. What they need first is validation — a sense that their feelings are understood. This might be as simple as acknowledging their experience: "I can see why you feel upset." We talk about the difference between being emotionally "above the line" (dysregulated) and "below the line" (calmer). When children are above the line, connection comes before problem-solving. Over time, these small shifts in how we respond can make a meaningful difference. Helen shares that many families notice change when parents move from trying to fix emotions to first understanding them. DBT was originally developed to support individuals experiencing intense emotional distress, including self-harm and suicidal thoughts. However, as Helen explains, many of its core principles are deeply relevant for all families. At its heart, DBT helps us understand emotions, respond to distress more effectively, and strengthen relationships. Link to Inside Out clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT6FdhKriB8