EPS 144: - Your Children Are NOT Your Report Card: Loving Without Losing Yourself with Gigi Baxter

What happens when we begin measuring our worth by how our children are doing?As mothers, we can love our children so deeply that their successes feel like our successes—and their struggles can feel like our failures. But what if our children’s lives were never meant to be our report card?In this episode of Heart-to-Heart with Abagaba, I’m joined by Gigi Baxter, author of Your Children Are NOT Your Report Card: How to Love Your Adult Children Without Losing Yourself.Gigi is a wife, mother of three adult children, and self-described “recovering fixer.” After spending decades quietly measuring her own worth through her children’s successes and struggles, she began a journey of learning how to let go of control without letting go of love.Her message is honest, funny, compassionate, and deeply relatable for mothers navigating the ever-changing journey of parenting.In this episode, we explore:* What it means to view our children as our “report card”* Why loving mothers can so easily measure their worth through their children’s lives* The “imaginary versions” of our children that we may need to grieve* The difference between supporting our children and fixing, rescuing, or controlling* The emotional “suitcases” we carry for our adult children* Gigi’s “Mute & Pause” practice for difficult conversations* The “Parenting Olympics” and why comparison can be so exhausting* What it means to have a “Board Seat, Not CEO” role in our adult children’s lives* How to create healthier boundaries without becoming cold or disconnected* Rediscovering our identity beyond motherhood* What Gigi would say to the mother lying awake at 2 a.m., wondering, “Did I fail?”A Heart-to-Heart TakeawayOur children are going to make their own choices. They will experience successes, disappointments, mistakes, joys, and challenges that we cannot always prevent.And that’s one of the hardest parts of loving someone.We can be present without taking over.We can listen without fixing.We can support without rescuing.And we can love our children deeply without making their lives the measure of our own worth.Our children’s lives are their stories. We are still allowed to live ours.A Question to Carry With YouIf you’ve ever found yourself carrying an adult child’s problem, worrying about a decision you cannot control, or wondering whether your child’s struggles mean you somehow failed as a parent, pause and ask yourself:“Is this mine to carry?”Sometimes love means stepping in.And sometimes love means stepping back—with an open heart.Connect With GigiTo learn more about Gigi Baxter and her work, and to explore Your Children Are NOT Your Report Card: How to Love Your Adult Children Without Losing Yourself, be sure to connect with Gigi and follow her journey.Not Your Report Card | Gigi BaxterYour Children Are NOT Your Report Card: How to Love Your Adult Children Without Losing Yourself https://a.co/d/0hrHIWxhThank you for joining me for another Heart-to-Heart with Abagaba.Until next time, remember: you can love your children deeply without losing yourself in the process. 🌻