ESSAY August 2025 - Happy, Joyous, and Single: Is That How It Goes? - An anonymous brother from Russia

from ESSAY Magazine (An International Journal of Sexaholics Anonymous) · host Essay Magazine

I broke up with my last girlfriend when I came to the program, after a two-year relationship. The reason was my shocking admission to the truth about myself—that I used her, trying to find a sense of self-worth at her expense, satisfy lust, and not feel lonely. This realization was painful, but honest and therefore healing. I saw that I had always had this kind of unhealthy attitude towards my partners. As long as I remained the same, with prior beliefs, approaches, and behavior, it is naïve to expect a different result. The best thing I can do for myself and others is to take a break (for a year and a half) to devote this time to sobering up and working the program. I need the internal changes that the program will provide. It will give me a chance for healthier relationships in the future.

What this episode covers

I broke up with my last girlfriend when I came to the program, after a two-year relationship. The reason was my shocking admission to the truth about myself—that I used her, trying to find a sense of self-worth at her expense, satisfy lust, and not feel lonely. This realization was painful, but honest and therefore healing.I saw that I had always had this kind of unhealthy attitude towards my partners. As long as I remained the same, with prior beliefs, approaches, and behavior, it is naïve to expect a different result. The best thing I can do for myself and others is to take a break (for a year and a half) to devote this time to sobering up and working the program. I need the internal changes that the program will provide. It will give me a chance for healthier relationships in the future.

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ESSAY August 2025 - Happy, Joyous, and Single: Is That How It Goes? - An anonymous brother from Russia

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This episode was published on August 13, 2025.

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