ESSAY August 2025 - Smashing the Golden Idol - Joe S., Ohio, USA

By repairing the past, through working the program, he found the freedom of being single. Throughout my lust addiction, romantic relationships became a golden calf to me. I thought an attractive, emotionally compatible girlfriend would fulfill and complete me.  Having a girlfriend became a persistent fantasy, but every time a woman would say yes to my proposition for a date, I would run from the relationship as soon as it took off. I was too emotionally immature to share my heart with someone in a way that was even remotely selfless or healthy. I was afraid the woman would find out who I really was. To protect myself from rejection, like a parachutist jumping from a crashing airplane, I would bail from the relationship as soon as it took off, fleeing to my addiction, where I thought I could never get hurt.