ESSAY October 2025 - Weaponizing Guilt Into Shame - Brian Z., Turlock, CA

SA taught him that letting go of guilt was not only okay, but necessary Fear and shame were awaiting my entrance into the world. My grandmother was harassed and bullied for her parents’ financial struggles, language, skin color, and country of origin. So she resolved to protect her children from the same fate by refusing to pass down her native language, traditions, customs, or history, and insisting that they marry spouses who embodied her idealized notion of an acceptable national archetype. My mother’s inherited shame about her background then manifested itself by overcompensating for her own perceived shortcomings. This included raising children who embodied her idealized notion of success: good grades, etiquette, careers, marriages, etc.