Eternals (2021)

Alright, listen up chumps! Cuz your absolute number one and number two dirtbag freakazoids Maisie and Tim have finally caved and decided to watch Chloe Zhao's Marvel's Disney's Lee Daniels' ETERNALS, a movie so bold and ambitious in its brave quest to forgo Marvel traditions of making some sort of logical sense. We hope you all catch the Mahddest of W'yries and summon finger guns and pipe cleaner swords with your robot-slash-god brains so we can cause Hiroshima and slavery together. Because when you love something... you spend 157 minutes of terrible, egoist, wasted time on it, time that could have been spent fostering and growing friendships, helping those that need help, or indulging in the dying earth's last beautiful gifts, but were spent instead at the altar of never-ending corporate pig feed. Ooh! Ooh! Wait! Was that Harry Styles?!?!?!