Every Tear Counts

One of the greatest challenges in tefillah is continuing to believe that Hashem cherishes our prayers even when what we are asking for seems delayed in coming. Many people think that if they have been praying with sincerity and strengthening their emunah, yet still have not received what they are asking for, then their tefillot must not be accomplishing anything. We know that no tefillah is ever lost. Sometimes we do not see the answer for a long time, and sometimes Hashem uses our tefillot for a purpose that we could never have imagined. A woman who lives in Israel shared the following story. This past year, she suffered a miscarriage. It was very difficult for her to deal with, but with the support of family and friends, she was able to get through it. She desperately wanted another child and worked very hard on strengthening her emunah and bitachon. Throughout the day, she constantly reminded herself how much Hashem loves her and how badly He wants to give her what is best. She relied on His abundant love and prayed with all her heart, crying to Hashem constantly. She truly believed that she would soon have another baby. However, as the months passed, she realized she was having difficulty conceiving again. She strengthened herself even more and told herself that now she knew for certain that she would soon be expecting a child because she really had nothing else to rely on. She could not even rely on her emunah and bitachon to bring the yeshuah, because from her perspective, that was not working. All she had was Hashem's love. Yet more time passed, and she still was not expecting a child. As she approached her original due date, the pain became almost unbearable. At that point, she faced a major challenge in her emunah. She could not understand why Hashem was still not showing her His love. She had always read stories of people receiving their yeshuah immediately after strengthening their bitachon, and she genuinely believed that would happen to her as well. She invested tremendous effort in learning about the power of bitachon and tefillah, yet she could not understand why the answer still seemed to be no. Not only that, but as the months passed, things appeared to be getting worse. Her doctor informed her that she would need to see a fertility specialist because some of her test results were concerning. That news shattered her. She began questioning everything. How could Hashem be doing this to her after all the emunah, bitachon, and tefillot she had invested? How could Hashem not be listening? Why did it seem as though things were getting worse rather than better? Were her tefillot, her emunah, and her bitachon accomplishing anything at all? Then came the week she had originally been scheduled to give birth. She dreaded that week. She did not know how she was going to get through it. Instead of preparing to welcome a baby into the world, she was left with indescribable pain. Then her life changed. That very week, her husband was involved in a horrific car accident. He collided with a truck in what should have been a fatal crash. By an open miracle, he survived. He suffered numerous broken bones and other serious injuries, but the doctors said that, with time, he would make a full recovery. It was a clear miracle. And suddenly everything changed. She finally understood. She realized that Hashem had never ignored her tefillot or her bitachon. Rather, He had been saving every one of them for this very week—the week of her original due date—to save her husband's life. She learned the greatest lesson of her life: Hashem is always listening and always acting out of love, even when it feels impossible to believe. He never ignores our efforts. He treasures them. He stores every prayer, every tear, every moment of emunah and bitachon, and uses them in the way that is best for us. Sometimes the answer to our tefillah comes exactly as we requested. Sometimes it comes later than we hoped. And sometimes it comes in a form we never expected. But every tefillah is valuable. Hashem hears every word and counts every tear. It is up to us to continue praying with the same sincerity and emotion, no matter how long we have been waiting, knowing that every tefillah is precious to Hashem and that He will use it in the way that He knows is best.