FA 106 Reconnecting With Family

Introduction topicTHE MOST RELAXING VACATION YOU CAN TAKE IS GOING NOWHERE AT ALLEphrat Livni - Quartzyhttps://qz.com/quartzy/1342058/the-most-relaxing-vacation-you-can-take-is-going-nowhere-at-all/Importance of unstructured time“Dolce far niente” - the sweet joy of doing nothing“Remaining close to home—or just in it, hanging out—leaves you refreshed and provides perspective. And it may be the key to your next great idea.”Become comfortable with being alone with yourself; wherever you go, your self comes with!Take time to be present and enjoy wherever you areavoid having a completionist mindset of ticking boxes just to say you’ve been somewhereTopicWhen is it a good idea to step away from family?Toxic behaviorEmotional blackmail/coercionAbusive/threatening behaviorLack of acceptanceNeed to create space to establish own values/prioritiesWhy reconnect with family?Source of stability/constancy in your lifeReconnecting with unconditional love underlying family bondsGreater understanding of self (family of origin)If they loved you before, they can love you againSupport StructureWhen is the right time to reconnect with family?Financial independenceStable, independent living situationno risk, nothing to lose if your family chooses to reject you.After time to heal / develop “new normal”“Most parents prefer having a gay son to no son at all”- Dan SavageTimes of crisis (family member ill/dying)How to reconnect with familyNon-violent communicationProvide “first-aid” empathySeek to understand before seeking to be understoodExpress your feelings and needs without placing blame or judgement on your family membersLook for a “win-win”“My lifestyle is not the same as your lifestyle, but both are okay, and we can choose to live the life that we want”Look for ways to spend time together that will meet everyone’s needsDon’t rush it, go at your own paceReconnection isn’t going to happen overnightFeedbackNone for this weekQuestion(s)What are some of the best techniques you could offer to help get over a toxic relationship? Doesn’t matter if it’s romantic or friends.Self-empathySelf-careChoosing to control what you can (your actions/perceptions/interpretations) and release control of what you cannot (your abuser’s past actions, what your abuser does now)Forgive your abuser (even if you don’t let them know)Empathy and understanding can lessen painForgiveness does not absolve someone of being responsible for their actions or of being held accountableForgive yourself for allowing the abuse to happen as long as it didYou are only capable of doing your best at any given moment, given the information you haveIt is impossible to make a mistake; mistake is a judgement applied to an action after it has occurredFigure out what you were getting from the toxic relationshipTry to figure out how you can get these needs met in a healthier wayBe mindful not to enter into a relationship with someone very like your previous partnerWe are often attracted to what feels familiar, not what feels goodCloserContact infoContact Viro:t.me/viroscicollietwitter.com/viroscicollieContact Rhythm:twitter.com/Rhythm_Foxt.me/RhythmFoxFeral Attraction Twitter:twitter.com/feralattractfmFeral Attraction Contact Page:feralattraction.com/contactCoaching Services now available!As our audience has grown, many of our listeners and advice column readers have asked to speak with Viro in a one-on-one setting so as to get help with resolving relationship issues or overcoming stumbling blocks that can trip us up on life's journey. Until now, it was not possible to offer such one-on-one attention, simply because of time constraints. Fortunately, Viro is now offering this kind of individualized attention as a service!For more information, visit: feralattraction.com/coachingOther businessPatreonJoel Kreissman is a published author of anthropomorphic science-fiction in his Para-Imperium universe. His first novel, The Pride of Parahumans, was published with Thurston Howl publications in 2017 and he has more free stories on his blog at https://paraimperium.wordpress.com/