How to Rebuild Your Faith After Divorce (with Sarah Brown)

Picture it: married young in college, ten years in, life looking the way it's supposed to, and then the rug gets ripped out from under you. That's exactly what happened to my guest Sarah Brown: an unexpected divorce, sudden single motherhood, and a crisis of faith after divorce she never saw coming. She landed on the bathroom floor in a puddle of tears, shaking her fist at God and demanding answers. Sarah is a Christian author and speaker (her book, Even the Ashes Bloom, is coming soon) who helps women navigate seasons of deep hurt. We get into how her faith went from transactional ("if I do this, God will do that") to genuinely relational, what those first panicked months of single motherhood actually looked like, and the wildfire "fire followers" story that changed how she saw the whole thing: certain wildflower seeds sit underground for years and only bloom after the fire has scorched the earth. If you're sitting in your own ashes right now, wondering if any of it will ever make sense, Sarah's got real, hard-won answers instead of platitudes: how to vet who gets your "tender bits," why "at least it's not cancer" is never the right thing to say to someone, and how healing after divorce can leave you more yourself than you were before. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdsRDs_-gVs In this episode How Sarah's faith after divorce shifted from transactional ("if I do this, God will bless me") to genuinely relational Why she believes the answer to "why does God allow this?" isn't a tidy one, and what she'd say instead What the first panicked months of single motherhood really looked like, and the advice from her brother-in-law that changed everything: "pause and look at the day before you, this moment, the next hour, the next 24 hours" How to "vet" people before sharing your "tender bits," and why not everyone has earned the right to hear your story The wildfire "fire followers" metaphor: how wildflower seeds that wait years underground only bloom after everything burns Why healing doesn't mean rushing your grief, and how journaling helped Sarah see God's faithfulness in retrospect Timestamps (00:02) Welcome and meet Sarah Brown, Christian author and speaker (01:18) Sarah's ashes: an unexpected divorce and sudden single motherhood (02:20) Shaking her fist at God, and sitting in a puddle of tears on the bathroom floor (05:52) How her faith shifted from transactional to relational (08:32) Dana's grocery-cart moment, and the question of why God allows suffering (10:26) Starting therapy as a new single mom, and the shame and perfectionism underneath the grief (12:52) Her brother-in-law's advice: stop planning 17 steps ahead and look at the next 24 hours (16:55) "There is no teacher as effective as pain" (19:01) Why transactional faith fails, in relationships too (21:23) Reading "Boundaries" and learning to set them, in marriage and everywhere else (23:15) Vetting who's safe enough to hear your "tender bits" (26:29) "At least it's not cancer": a lesson in unsafe responses (29:10) The wildfire "fire followers": a metaphor for what blooms after devastation (31:41) Where to find Sarah and her upcoming book, Even the Ashes Bloom About Sarah Brown Sarah Brown is a Christian author and speaker who helps women navigate seasons of deep hurt by anchoring them in faith. She's a former elementary teacher and children's minister, a recipient of the Women of Influence Award from the Nashville Business Journal, the author of over 20 director resource kits for Christian music publishers, and a contributing author to Hope for the Holidays. Her own book, Even the Ashes Bloom, is releasing soon. Learn more at sarahsbrown.com, or connect with her on LinkedIn. Favorite quotes "I believe that we all have ashes that we carry with us." —Sarah Brown "My faith began to shift from transactional to relational." —Sarah Brown "There may be burn scars, just like on the earth there are burn scars after a wildfire, but that place could be where something new and even better is about to emerge." —Sarah Brown Resources mentioned SarahsBrown.com: Sarah's website Sarah Brown on LinkedIn Even the Ashes Bloom, Sarah's upcoming book Hope for the Holidays, the anthology Sarah contributed to Boundaries, the book Sarah was given while going through her divorce Related episodes "You're Not Alone" Interview Series: Surviving Divorce: another first-person account of rebuilding a life after divorce, and a natural pairing with Sarah's story. Divorce Interview Afterthoughts: Dana's own reflections on the divorce conversation above, good context before or after Sarah's episode. What Is This "God" Thing, Anyway?: digs into the same faith questions Sarah wrestles with here, from a different angle. Subscribe & connect If this episode gave you something to sit with, follow Phoenix and Flame so you never miss an episode: all apps in one place, or jump straight to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube. And if it moved you, leave a review; it's the easiest way to help another listener find the show. Learn more about Phoenix and Flame, connect with Dana, and listen to more episodes here. Curious where your own boundaries stand? Take my free Work Boundaries Quiz: danaskaggs.com/quiz