Family Services Helps Leaders | An Interview with Ben Erwin

Dr. Ben Erwin received his master’s degree from the University of Hawaii, and his PhD from Brigham Young University. His clinical specialties include marriage counseling, addictions and working with adolescents. Ben is currently the program manager for the Addiction Recovery Program for the Church and is also adjunct faculty for Utah Valley University’s Marriage and Family Therapy program. He has served as a member of the Utah Governor’s Behavioral Health Workgroup and a board member of the Salt Lake County Mayor’s Behavioral Health Advisory Council. He and his wife Sarah are the proud parents of five children. Highlights 03:40 Ben Erwin’s background. He’s a project manager for the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He helps oversee the worldwide Addiction Recovery Program that the Church sponsors to help people find recovery through Christ. He has a varied educational background. Eventually he got a Masters degree and interned with Family Services. He has worked with Family Services ever since. He still meets with clients. 7:40 People ask Ben if it isn’t difficult to be a therapist and walk through difficult issues with clients. He does walk through darkness with clients, but they don’t stay there. He watches them grow and move towards the Savior. 9:30 There’s not a better program to help people find hope and healing than the Addiction Recovery Program. 10:00 History of the ARP. Alcoholics Anonymous was founded by two Christian men who were suffering from alcoholism. They turned to the Bible for teachings to help themselves in their recovery. 11:00 What are the most important doctrines and principles to help someone recover and repent from addiction? Ben believes it is “the twelve steps” [of the AA program or the Church’s ARP]. The twelve steps are the application of the principles. In the 1970’s and 1980’s, many church members were attending AA meetings and asked church leaders if they could have AA meetings at the church. That is where the Addiction Recovery Program was born. Last year, there were 400,000 “seats filled.” 14:20 Ben is contacted by church leaders across the world. One of the frequent questions they ask is “What kind of help can I get?” Ben first refers the leader to a local Family Services counselor, even before he suggests the Addiction Recovery Program. 15:30 A leader can reach out to a local Family Service counselor at any time with a question about helping a member. The counselor will, for free, counsel with the church leader to develop a plan to help the member. The counselor won’t tell the church leader what to do. But they will help the church leader see the issues from a therapeutic, social, or emotional point of view. 19:00 When a church leader is counseling with a member, the church leader may “prescribe” Family Services. However, even before referring the member to Family Services, the church leader can counsel with the Family Services counselor to help the church leader in their discussions with the member. Performing the consultation up-front avoids the disconnect and gives the church leader more ideas of what they can do as the spiritual minister. For example, when bishops consult with the Family Services counselor, it can help the bishop see the things the therapist can do that may be different from what the bishop can do. 22:20 There can be a misconception of what Family Services is. We frequently understand it as “the Church’s therapists.” Family Services’ primary mission is to assist leaders to assist members to develop emotional self-reliance and overcome obstacles to keeping covenants. Therapy is part of what Family Services does, but consultation with church leaders is the primary duty of Family Services. 25:00 Some leaders may not utilize Family Services because there is not a location near them. That’s fine. Even if the leader doesn’t use Family Services for therapy, the leader should be aware that Family Services is a resource available for consultation with the church leader to help talk through particular situations of members and to develop a plan to help the members. Family Services will also refer members to therapists in the local leader’s area who will support the members’ faith. 27:40 Many Family Services counselors are available via telehealth services. Even in places where there is not a local Family Services location, Family Services counselors may still be able to help, whether by telehealth options or by referring the leaders to local therapists. 29:10 The best way to contact Family Services is through CDOL (Church Directory of Organizations and Leaders). Select the “Stake” and “Associated Organizations” under “Welfare.” 31:30 The ARP is sponsored by local leaders. For a meeting to happen, a stake president has to request a meeting. Family Services administers the meeting. The ARP website includes a map of all the requested meetings. 32:30 Ben walks through website content describing ARP meetings. It takes a lot of courage to attend an ARP meeting. There’s typically a lot of shame associated with addictions. When you attend, you’ll be warmly greeted by the meeting facilitator who will ask for your first name. You will pray. The facilitator will read a confidentiality statement. Everyone commits to confidentiality. They will read from the guidebook describing the twelve steps. The meeting is opened up for sharing. No one is required to read or share. Many members who attend express surprise that they felt the Spirit of God in the meeting – they feel unworthy and broken. But they come away with a much different experience – support, love, and openness – than they expected. 40:30 The most effective way to learn about the program is to attend a meeting. Ben recommends that if you are going to attend to see how it works, don’t attend a meeting near your location. You don’t want to make a member in your congregation uncomfortable. 42:15 What is the process when a stake president requests an ARP meeting? The stake president calls Family Services and requests the meeting. Family Services will work with the stake president to identify individuals who may facilitate. Often, someone who has participated will be called to facilitate. Missionary couples who are already serving may be identified to run the meeting. Another couple in the stake may be called to facilitate the meeting. 44:45 A church leader may attend an ARP meeting with a member who is struggling. For example, a bishop may volunteer to go with the member, or may suggest an Elders Quorum president or Relief Society president attend with the member. If a member is uncomfortable attending a meeting, a bishop may offer to attend a meeting occurring at a distant location virtually with the member. If a member is uncomfortable even attending a meeting with a church leader, the ARP website has podcast episodes of recordings of actual meetings the member can listen to. Another resource on the ARP website is a set of videos of individuals who have participated in the ARP. 54:00 Another resource on the ARP website is the Guide. A leader can select the PDF guidebook and walk through the guidebook with the member. 55:10 What do you say to an individual who has not had a positive experience with ARP meetings in their area? Ben: My job isn’t to try to convince someone to use a particular tool. It is to help them to find a different tool to help them. Most people have a positive experience with ARP. But if they don’t, look at different resources. Research shows that twelve-step programs are the most effective way to address addiction. If this one isn’t working, look at another one. Ben has a friend who went to ARP but didn’t love it. So he goes to AA instead, and he loves it. 58:15 Sometimes when someone comes to receive addiction support, they need medical assistance. A twelve-step program is a great first step, but we should know when someone needs a higher level of care. A member with an opioid addiction, for example, may not be able to stop without medical supervision. This is something that would arise as a leader consults with a Family Services counselor. A detox facility may stabilize the member. Then a twelve-step program can help them learn the tools to help them stay sober. 1:01:30 Ben has observed that more and more women are being caught up in pornography addictions. They tend to feel even more shame than men, since in their minds, they often believe that pornography was supposed to be something that only men were supposed to struggle with. There are a lot of online meetings that women can attend, even if there’s not one close to them. 1:03:20 Research shows that the most significant factor associated with a treatment outcome for mental health issues is the individual, not the model used or the therapist used. We find help and assistance through programs and therapists, but reliance on the Savior is how we obtain lasting change. As we turn to the Savior, he will give us strength and help us change. We find assistance through programs and therapists, but the most important thing is Jesus Christ. 1:06:40 Sometimes as we are helping those facing addictions, we forget their spouse and family. Addiction impacts both an individual and their family. There’s a spouse and family support group for spouses and families of individuals facing addiction challenges. The spouse and family support program answers the question: what are the most important principles of the gospel to bring about personal peace and healing irrespective of whether my loved one gets better? 1:10:30 On the Church’s website, churchofjesuschrist.org, is a section called “Counseling Resources”. It is divided into topics. (See link below. In the Gospel Library, navigate through Libraries -> Gospel Library -> Hand...