Feel Bad, Do It Anyway: “Good Enough,” Real Repair, and Growth

--Media Links--• Website: delvepsych.com• Instagram: @delvepsychchicago• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DelvePsych20• Substack: https://delvepsych.substack.com/--Participants--Hosts: Ali McGarel, Adam FominayaGuests: none--Overview of Big Ideas--• The “never good enough” feeling is a story our minds tell—often fueled by comparison and hedonic adaptation. It shifts the goalposts and keeps us chasing. ResearchGate+1• Don’t wait to feel better before you act. Do small, values-aligned actions even on hard days; behavior change often precedes mood change. (ACT + Behavioral Activation.) PubMed+1• Your emotions, thoughts, and identity are related but separable; identifying as your diagnosis can tighten the box of self-stigma. Wiley Online Library• With others, understanding repairs more than “I’m sorry.” Real apologies pair genuine remorse with concrete change; in couples, effective repairs matter more than perfect words. ncmr.lps.library.cmu.edu+1--Breakdown of Segments--• Reddit prompt: “Ever feel like you’ll never be good enough?” What that story does to motivation and hope. • Outcome chasing vs. living now: why waiting to “arrive” keeps us from the life we want.• “Feel bad, do it anyway”: values, goals, and tiny actions when the day is heavy. PubMed+1• The danger of self-labels: moving from “this is who I am” to “this is what I’m feeling and choosing next.” Wiley Online Library• When your past is thrown in your face: systems get used to old roles; sometimes you set boundaries, re-narrate, or disengage.• Apologies vs. understanding: why good understanding often dissolves the “need” for an apology—and what a real apology includes (remorse + change). ncmr.lps.library.cmu.edu• Quick sign-off and teaser for future topics (nonlinearity of change).--References--• Hayes, S. C., Luoma, J., Bond, F., Masuda, A., & Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: Model, processes, and outcomes. Behaviour Research and Therapy. (Values + committed action framework.) PubMed+2Anxiety Institute+2• Dimidjian, S., et al. (2006). Randomized trial of behavioral activation, cognitive therapy, and antidepressant medication. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. (Doing first can lift mood—especially for severe depression.) PubMed• Wills, T. A. (1981). Downward comparison principles in social psychology. Psychological Bulletin. (Why “others would envy what I’m loathing” sometimes helps.) ResearchGate• Brickman, P., Coates, D., & Janoff-Bulman, R. (1978). Lottery winners and accident victims: Is happiness relative? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. (Classic hedonic adaptation study.) Gwern+1• Corrigan, P. W., & Watson, A. C. (2002). The paradox of self-stigma and mental illness. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice. (Risks of over-identifying with diagnosis.) Wiley Online Library• Lewicki, R. J., Polin, B., & Lount, R. (2016). An exploration of the structure of effective apologies. Negotiation and Conflict Management Research. (Six elements: regret, explanation, responsibility, repentance, repair, request.) ncmr.lps.library.cmu.edu• Scher, S. J., & Darley, J. M. (1997). How effective are the things people say to apologize? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. (Why “sorry if/that you felt…” backfires.) SpringerLink• Gottman, J., et al. (2000). Predicting marital stability and divorce in newlyweds. Journal of Family Psychology. (Repair and interaction patterns predict outcomes.) John Gottman