Overcoming Success-Fueled Anxiety (with Matt Gerlach)

Matt Gerlach built himself a million-dollar-a-year consulting business, and twice ended up in the hospital convinced he was having a heart attack. The day he started that business, eight years ago, what he calls "obsessive worrying" moved in and never left. He smoked a pack of cigarettes a day, drank more than he should have, stopped sleeping well, and didn't clock any of it as a health problem, because the business was working. That's success-fueled anxiety: the version that shows up right on schedule with everything going well. Matt has spent 15 years helping dozens of startups scale to seven, eight, and nine figures, but that resume doesn't mention the boundary he was too scared to set, or the fact that his grandmother's constant worry and his mother's stress migraines had already written a chunk of the script for his own anxiety before he ever noticed. He eventually trained as a yoga instructor, and it was sitting in that training, surrounded by other adults talking openly about their mental health, that he realized his childhood carried a lot more sadness and unprocessed trauma than he'd ever let himself admit. We get into how he learned to tell the difference between discomfort you push through and pain that means stop, why he now treats every wake-up call as an invitation instead of a failure, and the simple question he asks anxious clients who can't sleep: what's actually on your mind, and why? Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0OZ-anJAfU In this episode Why anxiety and depression can show up right when your business finally starts working, and how to catch the warning signs earlier than Matt did The yoga-mat framework Matt uses to tell "sit through it" discomfort from "stop right now" pain How Matt grew a million-dollar consulting business by learning to advocate for fair pay and hold his own boundaries Why family patterns of anxiety and worry can shape your own long before you ever notice it happening A simple journaling exercise for figuring out what's actually driving a sleepless, anxious night Why Matt walked away from that million-dollar business seven months ago to build something that felt more like him Timestamps (00:01) Welcome and intro: meet entrepreneur and coach Matt Gerlach (01:38) How boundaries and learning to say no led Matt into coaching (03:55) The yoga framework: discomfort you sit through vs. pain that means stop (05:31) Survival, not passion: why Matt became an entrepreneur in the first place (08:04) The traits Matt has seen separate people who thrive as entrepreneurs (14:54) Setting boundaries is Matt's own responsibility, and no one else's (19:55) Hitting rock bottom: anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts after starting his first business (24:38) The wake-up call: those symptoms were telling him not to start that business in the first place (27:00) Journaling your way to what's actually bothering you (31:28) Holistic health first: why Matt tries the accessible stuff before medication (35:13) Where to find Matt, and his free Friday Brunch Club for LA locals About Matt Gerlach Matt Gerlach has spent 15 years helping dozens of startups scale to seven, eight, and nine figures. He built his own consulting and services business to seven figures before stepping away from it seven months ago. He's a certified yoga instructor and now works with entrepreneurs and executives grappling with self-doubt and anxiety, guiding them toward more freedom and impact in their businesses and lives. Learn more at Matt's website, or connect with him on LinkedIn. Favorite quotes "I had to learn that it's my responsibility to set boundaries. It's my responsibility. Like my life is my responsibility." —Matt Gerlach "When a client says no to you, when a job says no to you, it's an invitation to get more creative about how to get a yes." —Matt Gerlach "I don't think there's any mistakes in life. I don't think there's like wrong or waste." —Matt Gerlach Resources mentioned 10x Is Easier Than 2x: the book Matt says he's listened to four times, on why entrepreneurs should pay their people well enough that losing them would hurt Erin French's memoir about building The Lost Kitchen restaurant (title not stated on air), which Matt references as an example of unaddressed pain outlasting any amount of medication The Friday Brunch Club: Matt's free, biweekly gathering for "cool, interesting people" at his home in Los Angeles; reach him directly to be invited MattGerlach.com: Matt's website Matt Gerlach on LinkedIn Related episodes How to Spot Burnout Before It's Too Late: recorded the same week as this one, with Michael Levitt on the physical warning signs Matt describes here from the inside. Overcoming Burnout, Hustle Culture, and Redefining Success: more on rebuilding a definition of success that doesn't cost you your health. How Your Survival Brain Is Sabotaging Your Happiness: the biology behind the "obsessive worrying" Matt describes living with for years. Subscribe & connect If this episode gave you something to sit with, follow Phoenix and Flame so you never miss an episode: all apps in one place, or jump straight to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube. And if it moved you, leave a review; it's the easiest way to help another listener find the show. Learn more about Phoenix and Flame, connect with Dana, and listen to more episodes here. Curious where your own boundaries stand? Take my free Work Boundaries Quiz: danaskaggs.com/quiz