For Men: Avoidant Attachment in Men And What They Actually Want

Avoidant attachment in men isn't about not wanting love. It's about a paradox almost no one names: you want her to choose you completely AND have a full life that doesn't depend on you. This episode names it. 👉 For the woman in your life who's been confused by you: send her the companion episode "What an Avoidant Man Actually Wants" on the main Pulling Threads feed (dropping next week). 👉 Ready to work on this 1:1? Book a discovery call at https://theloomlife.com — — — — — — — — — — If every woman you've ever dated has told you she's confused, hurt, or in tears and you didn't have an answer for her — this episode is for you. Leslie names the central confusion of dating with an avoidant attachment style: you want to be the center of her universe AND you need her to have her own life. Until somebody names it, it stays a contradiction. Once it has language, something can quietly shift. In this episode: • The paradox you've been living inside (and why men's content space treats it as a contradiction) • Where dismissive avoidant attachment actually comes from — the two signals your nervous system got before you had any choices • What your nervous system has been scanning every woman for, without your permission • Why the woman who wants you the most is the one you can never quite want back • The 90-second engulfment alarm — and how to catch it before it makes the call for you • How to communicate your need for space without disappearing • The conversation that begins to repair what you couldn't name before • Chosen vs. needed — the reframe that changes the entire dating landscape This episode is part of Pulling Threads' For The Boys playlist — a series geared specifically toward men navigating attachment, dating, and personal growth. — — — — — — — — — — 🧵 ABOUT PULLING THREADS Pulling Threads is a podcast hosted by Leslie Mathews — former attorney turned coach and host of The Loom Life. The show explores divorce recovery, attachment, nervous system regulation, somatic work, and authentic living. 🌐 WORK WITH LESLIE • Website: https://theloomlife.com • 1:1 coaching discovery calls: https://theloomlife.com • Instagram: https://instagram.com/the.loom.life • TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews 📬 GOT A TOPIC? Drop it in the comments — Leslie is opening up topic requests from men specifically. What do you want her to talk about next?