EPISODE · May 12, 2026 · 22 MIN
For Men: Avoidant Attachment in Men And What They Actually Want
from Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity · host Leslie Mathews
Avoidant attachment in men isn't about not wanting love. It's about a paradox almost no one names: you want her to choose you completely AND have a full life that doesn't depend on you. This episode names it. 👉 For the woman in your life who's been confused by you: send her the companion episode "What an Avoidant Man Actually Wants" on the main Pulling Threads feed (dropping next week). 👉 Ready to work on this 1:1? Book a discovery call at https://theloomlife.com — — — — — — — — — — If every woman you've ever dated has told you she's confused, hurt, or in tears and you didn't have an answer for her — this episode is for you. Leslie names the central confusion of dating with an avoidant attachment style: you want to be the center of her universe AND you need her to have her own life. Until somebody names it, it stays a contradiction. Once it has language, something can quietly shift. In this episode: • The paradox you've been living inside (and why men's content space treats it as a contradiction) • Where dismissive avoidant attachment actually comes from — the two signals your nervous system got before you had any choices • What your nervous system has been scanning every woman for, without your permission • Why the woman who wants you the most is the one you can never quite want back • The 90-second engulfment alarm — and how to catch it before it makes the call for you • How to communicate your need for space without disappearing • The conversation that begins to repair what you couldn't name before • Chosen vs. needed — the reframe that changes the entire dating landscape This episode is part of Pulling Threads' For The Boys playlist — a series geared specifically toward men navigating attachment, dating, and personal growth. — — — — — — — — — — 🧵 ABOUT PULLING THREADS Pulling Threads is a podcast hosted by Leslie Mathews — former attorney turned coach and host of The Loom Life. The show explores divorce recovery, attachment, nervous system regulation, somatic work, and authentic living. 🌐 WORK WITH LESLIE • Website: https://theloomlife.com • 1:1 coaching discovery calls: https://theloomlife.com • Instagram: https://instagram.com/the.loom.life • TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews 📬 GOT A TOPIC? Drop it in the comments — Leslie is opening up topic requests from men specifically. What do you want her to talk about next?
What this episode covers
Avoidant attachment in men isn't about not wanting love. It's about a paradox almost no one names: you want her to choose you completely AND have a full life that doesn't depend on you. This episode names it.👉 For the woman in your life who's been confused by you: send her the companion episode "What an Avoidant Man Actually Wants" on the main Pulling Threads feed (dropping next week).👉 Ready to work on this 1:1? Book a discovery call at https://theloomlife.com— — — — — — — — — —If every woman you've ever dated has told you she's confused, hurt, or in tears and you didn't have an answer for her — this episode is for you. Leslie names the central confusion of dating with an avoidant attachment style: you want to be the center of her universe AND you need her to have her own life. Until somebody names it, it stays a contradiction. Once it has language, something can quietly shift.In this episode:• The paradox you've been living inside (and why men's content space treats it as a contradiction)• Where dismissive avoidant attachment actually comes from — the two signals your nervous system got before you had any choices• What your nervous system has been scanning every woman for, without your permission• Why the woman who wants you the most is the one you can never quite want back• The 90-second engulfment alarm — and how to catch it before it makes the call for you• How to communicate your need for space without disappearing• The conversation that begins to repair what you couldn't name before• Chosen vs. needed — the reframe that changes the entire dating landscapeThis episode is part of Pulling Threads' For The Boys playlist — a series geared specifically toward men navigating attachment, dating, and personal growth.— — — — — — — — — —🧵 ABOUT PULLING THREADSPulling Threads is a podcast hosted by Leslie Mathews — former attorney turned coach and host of The Loom Life. The show explores divorce recovery, attachment, nervous system regulation, somatic work, and authentic living.🌐 WORK WITH LESLIE• Website: https://theloomlife.com• 1:1 coaching discovery calls: https://theloomlife.com• Instagram: https://instagram.com/the.loom.life• TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews📬 GOT A TOPIC?Drop it in the comments — Leslie is opening up topic requests from men specifically. What do you want her to talk about next?
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For Men: Avoidant Attachment in Men And What They Actually Want
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