Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity

What if your burnout isn't a personal failure — but a systemic one? Award-winning journalist Stefanie O'Connell joins Leslie to unpack The Ambition Penalty. 📕 Get Stefanie's book: https://tooambitious.com/book/ 💧 Ready to move through your divorce with structure and support? Explore THROUGH, Leslie's 8-week coaching program → https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram ────────────── In this conversation, Stefanie pulls back the curtain on what the research actually shows about why women — across industries, identities, and life stages — are still systematically held back at work and at home. Her book draws on more than 450 academic citations to dismantle the most persistent myth in modern gender inequality: that women just need to lean in harder, negotiate better, or believe in themselves more. Leslie and Stefanie talk about the data on backlash against women who ask for raises, the 30+ identity characteristics that get weaponized against women in hiring decisions, why the home — not the office — is where most women's burnout actually originates, and the 400-hour-per-year personal leisure gap between U.S. men and women. They also unpack the quiet shift from collective empowerment to individualistic self-help, why the pay gap hasn't budged in 20 years, and what a meaningful collective response actually looks like. This is essential listening for any woman who is over being overworked — but not over her ambition. ─── Timestamps ─── 00:00 Introduction to Stefanie O'Connell 01:15 From theater to financial journalism 04:14 The myth that women lack ambition 06:30 Why the research has been hiding in plain sight 07:01 When negotiating backfires for women 09:24 The hidden biases keeping women out of leadership 12:20 Why ambition is viewed differently in men and women 15:05 The importance of examining our own biases 15:53 What surprised Stefanie most in the data 16:30 The unpaid labor gap and women's burnout 18:45 Leslie shares her personal career and marriage story 22:08 How family dynamics shape workplace culture 24:39 The invisible workload of stay-at-home mothers 26:00 Choosing a partner who supports your ambitions 27:00 Why community support matters more than ever 28:27 The danger of turning systemic problems into personal failures 30:45 Why collective solutions create lasting change 34:40 Entrepreneurship, coaching, and gender bias 36:50 Why women are often judged differently when charging for their expertise 38:00 Building resilience through community and collective action 39:30 Modeling healthy relationships and ambition for our children 41:40 The loneliness epidemic and rebuilding connection 44:00 Why data matters in conversations about women’s experiences 45:30 The gaslighting women experience around work and ambition 46:50 What meaningful collective action actually looks like 48:00 Why progress on the pay gap has stalled 50:20 The growing hostility toward women in the workplace 52:35 A message for ambitious women who feel exhausted 53:35 Building community instead of carrying shame 54:05 Where to find Stefanie and her book 55:00 Final reflections and closing thoughts ────────────── 🧵 ABOUT PULLING THREADS Pulling Threads with Leslie Mathews is a podcast about untangling the patterns, stories, and systems that keep us stuck — and weaving something more authentic in their place. New episodes weekly. 🌐 Connect with Leslie: • Website: https://theloomlife.com • Therapy: https://loomlifetherapy.com • Personal site: https://leslieellenmathews.com • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.loom.life • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews 📕 Connect with Stefanie O'Connell: • Book — The Ambition Penalty: https://tooambitious.com/book/ • Substack (Too Ambitious): https://tooambitious.substack.com/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stefanieoconnell/ • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@stefaniemoconnell ────────────── If this episode resonated, please leave a 5-star rating and share it with one woman in your life who needs to hear it. #TheAmbitionPenalty #WomenAndWork #PullingThreadsPodcast #BurnoutRecovery #StefanieOConnell

Touch hunger is the loneliness no one warns divorced men about — when the isolation stops being emotional and becomes physical. (For the Boys, Round 10.) 🧭 Work with Leslie 1:1. Book a free discovery call → [INSERT DIRECT BOOKING LINK] Coaching: theloomlife.com Leslie: leslieellenmathews.com Therapy (FL): loomlifetherapy.com ↓ SHOW MORE CUTOFF — keep everything above this line above the fold ↓ In this episode, Leslie names something the men’s content space and even the therapy world tend to skip: touch hunger (or skin hunger) — the measurable, physical toll of going from a partner’s daily touch to none, sometimes overnight. She walks through what a touch-starved nervous system actually reaches for after divorce (rebound relationships, dating apps at midnight, alcohol, and the modern consolations), what the history and clinical research say about paid companionship and platonic touch therapy, and why most of it treats the symptom rather than the cause. Then she dreams out loud: what a real, trauma-informed concierge support structure for men in the first 12–18 months after a marriage ends could look like — and asks you to weigh in. This is a longer, no-compromises conversation, and your comments are the point. 💬 A note on support If the loneliness has gotten heavy, you’re not weak and you’re not alone — reaching out is the strong move. In the U.S. you can call or text 988 anytime to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you’re ready for steady, structured support through the season, the discovery call link above is a good first step. ⏱️ CHAPTERS (timestamps estimated — see verification note) 0:00 What this episode is (and why it goes there) 2:00 Touch hunger / skin hunger: what your nervous system is doing 4:00 Why the touch disappeared overnight 5:00 What men reach for first: rebound, apps, alcohol, the ex 6:00 OnlyFans and parasocial intimacy: renting a partner 9:00 Sugar-baby / arrangement apps and the hidden cost 11:00 A short history of paid companionship 14:00 How other countries handle this — and what the research says 16:00 Professional cuddling / platonic touch therapy 19:00 Medicine or anesthesia? The judgment is in the use 20:00 A dream: a concierge support structure for men 23:00 Why virtual-only and clean boundaries are a feature 26:00 A men’s track vs. a women’s track — and a question for you 🔗 Connect Instagram: @the.loom.life TikTok: @leslieellenmathews ▶️ Related from For the Boys Round 7 — the disclosure relationship (referenced in this episode): [INSERT EP 7 URL] Keywords: touch hunger, skin hunger, loneliness after divorce, men’s mental health, life coach for men after divorce, coping with divorce loneliness, how men heal after breakup, men’s personal growth after divorce #ForTheBoys #DivorceRecovery #MensMentalHealth #LonelinessAfterDivorce #PullingThreads

What happens when the systems that raised you also silenced you? In this episode, memoirist and survivor advocate Kate Johnson joins Leslie to talk about religious trauma, purity culture, and the long road of finding your voice after a lifetime of being told to stay quiet. Kate grew up a pastor's daughter inside the PCA evangelical church, where Calvinist teachings around "total depravity" merged with authoritarian parenting to create a childhood organized around shame, obedience, and performance. When her family was placed on the sex offender registry, she learned a second, deeper lesson: her safety lay in her silence. This conversation traces what it took to undo that — through writing, embodiment, estrangement, anger, and the slow reclaiming of identity. Whether you're deconstructing your faith, healing from purity culture, navigating estrangement, or just trying to reconnect with your own voice after years of self-silencing — this one is for you. ─── WORK WITH LESLIE ─── THROUGH — 8-week divorce recovery program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram 1:1 Coaching & Therapy: https://theloomlife.com Book a discovery call: https://theloomlife.com ─── CONNECT WITH KATE ─── Substack (Quips & Confessionals): https://katejohnsonwrites.substack.com Instagram: @katejohnsonwrites TikTok: @katejohnsonwrites Threads: @katejohnsonwrites Bluesky: @katejohnsonwrites ─── CHAPTERS ─── 00:00 Welcome & introducing Kate 02:30 Trapeze as healing & reclaiming the inner child 06:30 Growing up a pastor's daughter (PCA & Calvinism) 11:00 "You are bad" — how religious shame forms core beliefs 13:30 Parenting across generations: authoritarian to conscious 18:30 Why kids in divorce need their own therapist 23:30 Voice as savior: from buried to spoken 25:30 The sex offender registry: when silence becomes safety 30:00 What most people don't understand about the registry 35:30 Why women stay: shame, survival & "Conjuring the Hurricane" 42:00 Family courts, custody & protecting children 46:30 Purity culture, bisexuality & leaving evangelicalism 51:30 Estrangement, boundaries & what repentance really means 55:30 Embodiment, grounding & coming home to the body 59:30 Reiki, The Artist's Way & reconnecting to creativity 1:03:00 Anger as a signal & reclaiming identity 1:08:00 Quips & Confessionals: humor as reclamation 1:12:00 Final message: trust your body, use your voice ─── FOLLOW THE LOOM LIFE ─── Website: https://theloomlife.com Therapy: https://loomlifetherapy.com Leslie's site: https://leslieellenmathews.com Instagram: @the.loom.life TikTok: @leslieellenmathews ─── DISCLAIMER ─── This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for therapy, medical care, or professional mental health treatment. If you are in crisis, please contact a licensed provider or call/text 988 in the U.S. Keywords: religious trauma podcast, purity culture recovery, evangelical deconstruction, healing religious trauma, pastor's daughter, finding your voice, embodiment after trauma, complex PTSD, mental health podcast for women, trauma healing stories podcast #ReligiousTrauma #HealingAfterTrauma #IdentityWork #SelfTrust #PullingThreads

If she left and you never saw it coming, you’re not broken — and you’re not alone. Book a free discovery call → theloomlife.com In this “For the Boys” episode, Leslie Mathews — former attorney turned coach — unpacks one of the most common experiences divorced men share in private: “I didn’t see it coming.” Meanwhile, on the other side of that sentence, his wife is certain she’d been telling him for years. How can both be true? Around 65–75% of U.S. divorces are initiated by women, and the number climbs in the “gray divorce” (over-40s and over-50s) demographic. Leslie researched what’s actually happening underneath the so-called “walk-away wife” phenomenon — and found five dynamics that explain the blindsiding, with respect for both sides. This isn’t about blame. It’s about turning a confusing loss into a knowable pattern you can understand, grieve, and — if you choose — do differently next time. Whether you’re post-divorce or still inside a marriage you want to save, this conversation gives you language and a way forward. Inside this episode: The Complaint–Decision Asymmetry — why the day her complaining stopped was the loudest signal, not peace Selective hearing and the avoidant nervous system — how years of “I’m not happy” register as background noise The cultural script that treated logistics as love — and mistook structure for substance Hearing vs. taking seriously — the hardest one, and the difference that quietly ends marriages Grief asymmetry — why she can seem “cold” when she’s actually already finished grieving Plus: what to do now — the one question to ask if you’re still in your marriage, and how to become a different kind of listener. → Work with Leslie (1:1 coaching): theloomlife.com → Florida therapy clients: loomlifetherapy.com → Book a free discovery call: [INSERT DIRECT BOOKING LINK — see verification box] This is part of a three-episode set for men. Listen alongside Episode 6 (anger and the grief underneath it) and Episode 7 (men and friendships / building support). They can be heard in any order. Connect with Leslie: Websites: theloomlife.com · loomlifetherapy.com · leslieellenmathews.com Instagram: @the.loom.life · TikTok: @leslieellenmathews If section four landed for you, drop a comment — other men are reading, and they need to know they’re not alone. #DivorceForMen #GrayDivorce #DivorceRecovery #MensMentalHealth #LifeAfterDivorce 00:00 Welcome — “I didn’t see it coming” 02:00 How both things can be true (Leslie’s own divorce) 03:30 The stats: women initiate 65–75% of divorces 04:00 The “walk-away wife” phenomenon — used carefully 07:00 This isn’t blame: what to know before the five 08:00 #1 The Complaint–Decision Asymmetry 11:00 #2 Selective hearing & the avoidant nervous system 12:30 #3 The cultural script: logistics vs. feeling 14:30 #4 Hearing vs. taking it seriously 18:30 #5 Grief asymmetry — why she seems “cold” 20:30 What to do: recognition without shame 21:30 The grief work + Episodes 6 & 7 23:00 Still in the marriage? Ask the separate question 24:00 Real compromise: meeting needs without losing yourself 27:00 Post-divorce: become a different kind of listener 28:30 Closing & how to work with Leslie

Why do we keep choosing partners who hurt us? In this episode, mental health advocate and author Petrona Joseph joins Leslie to unpack trauma bonds, unsafe love, and the abandonment wound that drives the loop. ▶ WORK WITH LESLIE 8-week divorce recovery program — THROUGH: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram 1:1 coaching with Leslie: https://theloomlife.com ▶ ABOUT THIS EPISODE Petrona Joseph spent years pushing through panic attacks, depression, and a 17-year on-and-off relationship she now recognizes as a trauma bond. In this conversation she shares the moment her anxiety stopped her on a bridge in rush hour, why she resisted antidepressants for a decade, and how a primary caregiver's absence early in life shaped the unsafe partners she kept choosing as an adult. Leslie and Petrona dig into the neuroscience of trauma bonds (why they feel exactly like love), what "closing the loop" of a childhood wound actually looks like in adult relationships, and why most men in their 40s, 50s, and 60s still don't have a single safe person to talk to. This one is for anyone who has watched themselves return — over and over — to a person who keeps hurting them, and is starting to wonder if it's something deeper than love. ▶ WHAT YOU'LL LEARN Why trauma bonds get mistaken for love — and the biological reason the pull is so strong How an abandonment wound from childhood shapes who you're attracted to as an adult The difference between an unsafe person and someone who is just imperfect What it looked like for Petrona to finally accept a depression diagnosis after years of resistance Why "experiential" mental health advocacy matters alongside clinical expertise The state of men's mental health and why most men have no safe people ▶ ABOUT THE GUEST Petrona Joseph is an award-winning Communications Strategist, Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award recipient, and MHFA-certified Mental Health Workshop Facilitator. A trilingual Concordia University graduate in Linguistics, she is the author of Stigmatized: Demystifying Mental Health Illness and the upcoming Unsafe Love: Healing From Trauma Bonds, Betrayal, and Unsafe Attachment. Through Above Healing and Wellness, she has reached over 10,000 people across North America with workshops on resilience and early intervention. Timestamp: 00:00 Welcome Petrona Joseph 02:10 Thinking in French and growing up multilingual 05:05 From Trinidad to Grenada, New York, and Montreal 08:20 Ambition, law school, and ignoring mental health 13:30 Luxury cars, PR, TV, and finding a new path 19:45 Becoming “the annoying best friend” in PR 22:00 Anxiety attacks and the beginning of advocacy 30:10 The bridge panic attack that changed everything 36:20 Accepting medication and getting support 43:00 Healing is not a one-time fix 49:30 When anxiety affects everyday life 56:00 Going public about panic attacks 1:02:00 Writing about depression and mental health 1:08:00 Unsafe Love and trauma bonds 1:15:30 Why trauma bonds feel like love 1:24:00 Childhood wounds and repeating patterns 1:33:30 Attachment, abandonment, and trying to close the loop 1:43:00 When relationships become a place for healing 1:56:00 What secure love and repair can look like 2:10:00 Building psychologically safe relationships and cultures 2:18:30 Becoming a safe person after unsafe patterns 2:28:00 Mental health crisis support and men’s mental health 2:40:00 Why men need safe spaces too 2:52:00 Petrona’s books and where to find her 2:57:00 Closing reflections and goodbye Follow Petrona on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iampetronajoseph ▶ CONNECT WITH LESLIE Website: https://theloomlife.com Therapy practice: https://loomlifetherapy.com Personal site: https://leslieellenmathews.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.loom.life TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews ▶ IF THIS EPISODE HELPED Subscribe, leave a 5-star rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, and share this episode with someone you think needs to hear it. Reviews are how new listeners find the show. #TraumaBonds #UnsafeLove #MentalHealthPodcast #DivorceRecovery #AbandonmentWound #AvoidantAttachment #PullingThreads

Why do so many men have no close friends by 50? In For the Boys (Ep. 7), Leslie pulls back the threads on male loneliness — and the hidden flaw in how men build friendship. → Work with Leslie 1:1 (book a discovery call): theloomlife.com → In Florida? Therapy with Leslie: loomlifetherapy.com → More from Leslie: leslieellenmathews.com → Instagram @the.loom.life · TikTok @leslieellenmathews ——— If something bad happened tonight, who would you call at ten o’clock just to be heard? If you struggled to name someone — or named someone you haven’t actually called in years — you’re not unusual. You’re statistically average for a man in your demographic, and it’s one of the quietest, most costly features of modern male life. In this episode, Leslie looks directly at male loneliness and the friendship gap so many men hit in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. Studies over the last two decades show a steady decline in close male friendships — with roughly 15% of men reporting no close friends at all, and about one in four saying they have no one to lean on for personal support. The isolation tends to climb after marriage, fatherhood, divorce, and retirement. The core idea: most men’s friendships are built on “activity scaffolding” — you’re friends because you golf, work, or your kids play together. When the activity ends, the friendship quietly ends with it, because the activity WAS the connection. Women more often build on “disclosure scaffolding” — friendships held together by what’s been shared — which is far more portable. Divorce is one of the most efficient scaffolding-removers there is. Leslie walks through the three steps that actually rebuild connection in midlife: 1) Decide to build friendship on purpose — it won’t arrive by accident. 2) Choose disclosure on purpose — tell one man something slightly more honest than your default. 3) Build a structure that does the work for you — a men’s group, a recovery community, or a standing dinner with a rule to talk about the real thing. This is the most important non-romantic relational work a man can do — and it protects the next relationship from carrying weight no single person was meant to hold. A note on support This conversation touches on isolation and men’s mental health. If you’re struggling, you don’t have to carry it alone. In the U.S. you can call or text 988 anytime to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. CHAPTERS (see timestamps below — verify against final video before publishing). Keywords: male loneliness, midlife male friendship, men with no friends, how to make friends as a man, male friendship after divorce, men’s mental health, life after divorce for men. #ForTheBoys #MensMentalHealth #MaleLoneliness #PullingThreads #LifeAfterDivorce 00:00 The Question: Who Would You Call at 10pm? 01:10 For the Boys, Ep. 7 — The Friendship Piece 02:50 The Hard Facts: Male Friendship in Decline 04:40 Why Men Around 50 Are High Risk 06:00 The Fatal Flaw: Activity Scaffolding 07:50 How Women Build Friendships Differently 08:50 Why Divorce Removes the Scaffolding 09:40 The Script Men Were Raised With 14:50 When You Reach for the Phone — and There’s No One 15:40 Step 1: Build Friendship on Purpose 16:30 Step 2: Choose Disclosure With One Man 17:30 Step 3: Build a Structure That Does the Work 18:50 Don’t Put It All on the Next Partner 20:00 Closing + How to Work With Leslie

Money is never just money. In this solo episode of Pulling Threads, Leslie Mathews explores why money affirmations and manifestation so often fail — and why real abundance work has to happen in the body, the nervous system, and the family story you inherited. ➤ Ready to do this work with support? Book a free discovery call: https://theloomlife.com/discoverycall ➤ More from The Loom Life: https://theloomlife.com You can repeat “money flows to me easily” until you believe you mean it and still feel a quiet ceiling you can’t push through. That’s not a mindset failure. The part of your nervous system that decides what you’re allowed to receive isn’t listening to your affirmations — it’s listening to your history. In this episode, Leslie unspools the tangle of money one thread at a time: the legacy burdens we inherit from parents and grandparents, the protective “parts” that overwork, under-earn, hoard, or give too much away, and the complex trauma that can make expansion feel physically dangerous. She breaks down how money wounds show up differently for women — the “good girl” conditioning around wanting and receiving — and for men — the provider equation and the shame of feeling “not enough to carry it.” And she explains why divorce is one of the most accelerated abundance journeys a person can move through. Then she gets practical, walking through the tools that actually move this work: Internal Family Systems (IFS) for the protective parts, EMDR for the specific memories that locked them in place, and subconscious work through guided meditation and hypnosis. This is a science-meets-spirit conversation about learning to feel safe enough to receive. Whether you’re years post-divorce like Leslie or just starting to notice your own money ceiling, this is a gentle, honest invitation to meet your money story with curiosity instead of shame. IN THIS EPISODE Why “money is never just money” — and what it’s really carrying Legacy burdens: the money beliefs you inherited without consenting to them How protective parts quietly run your financial life (IFS) When abundance becomes neurologically “dangerous” The different money wounds women and men carry Why divorce surfaces every unhealed money belief Using IFS, EMDR, and subconscious work together CHAPTERS 00:00 — Why affirmations alone don’t move the money ceiling 00:50 — What this episode is about (science meets spirit) 03:00 — The layer beneath the story: your body’s history 06:00 — Why money is never just money 08:00 — Legacy burdens: the beliefs you inherited 10:30 — Your protective money parts (IFS) 12:00 — When complex trauma makes abundance feel dangerous 14:30 — Watch what your parents did, not what they said 18:00 — The deeper inheritance: generational money wounds 19:00 — Women & “good girl” money conditioning 22:00 — Men & the provider equation 24:00 — Divorce as an accelerated abundance journey 27:00 — Doing the work: IFS & unburdening 31:00 — EMDR for the memories that locked it in 34:00 — The subconscious layer: hypnosis & meditation 36:00 — Why you need all the tools, not one lane 40:00 — 4 places to start your own abundance work 43:00 — Working together & final thoughts RESOURCES & LINKS ➤ Book a free discovery call: https://theloomlife.com/discoverycall ➤ THROUGH — 8-week divorce coaching program for women: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram ➤ Website: https://theloomlife.com ➤ Loom Life Therapy: https://loomlifetherapy.com ➤ Instagram: @the.loom.life ➤ TikTok: @leslieellenmathews ➤ Email: [email protected] Modalities & tools mentioned in this episode: Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, polyvagal theory, Gabby Bernstein’s Abundance Challenge, and the To Be Magnetic Money Block hypnosis. If this resonated, subscribe for new episodes of Pulling Threads, and leave a rating or review — it helps more people find this work. Keywords: money trauma, abundance blocks, IFS therapy, EMDR, money mindset, nervous system healing, divorce recovery, manifestation, somatic healing, money blocks #PullingThreads #MoneyTrauma #AbundanceMindset #IFSTherapy #DivorceRecovery

What if rock bottom is actually solid ground for the first time? Ariane Vera on starting over after burnout & divorce. ▸ THROUGH — Leslie's 8-week divorce coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram ▸ The Atelier — Ariane's membership for women building businesses: https://www.thejournalofahealer.com/p/the-atelier3 In this episode of Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity, Leslie sits down with Ariane Vera — founder of The Atelier, 12-time author, and 3-time TEDx speaker — for a conversation about what it actually takes to restart your life when burnout, divorce, chronic pain, and a global lockdown all arrive at once. Ariane left the corporate world after a burnout her body had been warning her about for months. She moved to Mexico, started over from scratch, and turned her journaling practice into a book, a coaching method, and a membership community for women rebuilding their lives and businesses. Leslie and Ariane go deep on the parts of the journey most people don't talk about — the loneliness of outgrowing relationships, the fear of being too much, the patriarchal programming that teaches women to disappear, and the visibility wounds that quietly sabotage how we show up online. They also get into human design, re-parenting, money mindset, and why your podcast (or business, or art) only starts working when it's an energetic match for who you actually are. What you'll take away from this episode: • Why your body's signals matter more than your career plan • How to tell a "messy middle" friendship from one that's ready to break • Ariane's Inner Colors journaling method for tracking intuition and triggers • The difference between performing visibility and embodying it • How to price your work without flinching WORK WITH LESLIE ▸ THROUGH — 8-week divorce coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram ▸ 1:1 coaching — book a discovery call: https://theloomlife.com ▸ Loom Life Therapy (EMDR, IFS, trauma): https://loomlifetherapy.com ▸ Leslie's writing & resources: https://leslieellenmathews.com CONNECT WITH ARIANE ▸ The Atelier membership: https://www.thejournalofahealer.com/p/the-atelier3 ▸ The 30-Day Reset ($7): https://www.thejournalofahealer.com/p/the-30-day-reset-1024661 ▸ Book — The Healing Journals (on Amazon) ▸ Instagram: @ariane__vera ▸ Substack: Heal & Scale FOLLOW PULLING THREADS ▸ Instagram: @the.loom.life ▸ TikTok: @leslieellenmathews ▸ Subscribe so you don't miss Thursday solo episodes and Saturday's new series for men. If this episode resonated, the kindest thing you can do is leave a rating, drop a comment with the moment that landed for you, and share it with one friend who's in the middle of their own restart. #PullingThreads #PersonalGrowthPodcast #DivorceRecovery #BurnoutRecovery #WomenInBusiness

Men's anger after divorce isn't really about anger — it's a translator for grief, fear, shame, and longing. Book a discovery call: [DISCOVERY CALL URL] | theloomlife.com If you're a man who is divorced, separating, or on the other side of a long marriage that ended in any direction, this episode is for you. Leslie Mathews walks through the kind of anger that sits in your chest at the grocery store, the flash of rage at a driver who didn't really do anything, the flatness that's one wrong comment away from breaking you. The advice most men get — manage it, tame it, apologize for it — is exactly what makes the anger dig in deeper. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why your anger keeps coming back no matter how much you work out, cold plunge, or breathe through it • The four emotions hiding underneath male divorce anger: grief, fear, shame, and longing • Which of the four is most likely your door — and how to recognize it when it shows up • What healing actually looks like (smaller and quieter than the internet is selling you) • An honest note on the kind of anger that needs more than a podcast can offer This is episode 6 of the For the Boys playlist on Pulling Threads. If you're a woman supporting a man through this — maybe an ex-husband, a friend, or a son — this episode can give you language for what he may not be able to name. ——— WORK WITH LESLIE • Book a discovery call: [DISCOVERY CALL URL] • Learn more: https://theloomlife.com FOLLOW ALONG • Instagram: https://instagram.com/the.loom.life • TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews NEXT IN THIS PLAYLIST Episode 7 — Why so many men didn't see the divorce coming, and what to do with what comes after. (Link will be added once published.) A NOTE ON SAFETY There is a version of male anger that is dangerous — to the people around you, to your kids, to yourself. The work in this episode isn't a substitute for help if you're in that territory. If your anger has scared someone you love or scared you, please reach out to a therapist, a men's group, or your doctor. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at any time. CHAPTERS 00:00 Who this episode is for 01:00 Body scan: where you're holding tension 03:00 The kind of anger we're talking about 04:00 Welcome to For the Boys 05:00 The blindsided moment (preview of Episode 7) 06:00 Anger isn't the problem — it's a signal 07:30 The four emotions underneath 08:00 Grief: what's actually been lost 09:00 Fear: the future just got wider 10:00 Shame: the failure narrative 11:00 Longing: the hardest one 12:00 Why managing your anger doesn't work 13:00 What healing actually looks like 15:00 An important note on dangerous anger 16:30 Letting the translator rest 17:00 How to keep going with this work Keywords: men's anger after divorce, letting go of anger after divorce, life coach for men after divorce, how men heal after divorce, divorce recovery for men, emotional recovery after breakup, men's mental health divorce, somatic work for men, nervous system regulation after divorce #MensMentalHealth #DivorceRecovery #PullingThreads #ForTheBoys #LifeCoachForMen

Are you in love with a man you’re quietly trying to fix? This episode names the pattern, the psychology behind it, and the way out. There is a script some of us learned long before we ever met him: love hard enough, see deeply enough, hold space generously enough, and you can reach the wounded part of him no one else has reached. Our culture calls these the highest things a woman can offer. Sometimes they are. And sometimes — wearing the exact same clothes — they are something else entirely. In this solo episode of Pulling Threads, I share the psychology that finally gave me language for what I had been doing in my own relationship, including the stretch I am not proud of and the part of me that learned in childhood that fixing equals safety. We meet the Michelangelo Effect (Drigotas, 1999) and its dangerous twin, the Pygmalion phenomenon — and the difference between affirming the partner he wants to become and chiseling him toward the one you need him to be. By the end you will have a framework for telling apart the three men you might actually be with: the one who is chiseling, the one who could but isn’t, and the one whose contempt makes this pattern dangerous, not just expensive. WORK WITH ME: → Book a discovery call: https://theloomlife.com → THROUGH — my 8-week divorce coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram → 1:1 coaching for women rebuilding relationships and themselves: https://theloomlife.com MORE FROM THE LOOM LIFE: → The Loom Life (coaching): https://theloomlife.com → Loom Life Therapy (EMDR, IFS, trauma therapy): https://loomlifetherapy.com → Leslie Ellen Mathews: https://leslieellenmathews.com → Instagram: https://instagram.com/the.loom.life → TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews COMPANION EPISODE FOR THE MEN IN YOUR LIFE: → “They Told You Women Want a Beast” (For the Boys playlist) — send it to him if anything in today’s episode named something you’ve been carrying together. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: → The Michelangelo phenomenon, Drigotas, Rusbult, et al. (1999) → The Pygmalion phenomenon as the unhealthy twin → The “fix-him script” and the “psych nurse” part → The three situations: the man chiseling, the man who could but isn’t, the man with contempt If anything here named something you’ve been carrying, drop a comment and tell me where you are in this — whether you’ve seen David, whether you’ve tried to carve your own, or whether you’re questioning the whole thing right now. Other women read these comments and learn from them. Take exquisite care of yourselves out there. — Leslie #PullingThreads #TheLoomLife #FixHimTrap #MichelangeloEffect #RelationshipPodcast #HealingPodcast #WomenInRelationships KEYWORDS: how to stop trying to fix him, fix him trap, fix him syndrome, Michelangelo effect relationships, Pygmalion phenomenon, codependency, people pleasing in relationships, attachment wounds, healing after toxic relationship, mental health podcast for women, relationship podcast, IFS parts work, women’s personal growth

Healing after divorce starts in the body — not the spreadsheet. In this conversation, crisis coach Pamela Dussault joins Leslie Mathews to share why nervous system reset has to come before any of the practical work, and how women rebuild self-trust after an abusive marriage, burnout, or estrangement. ▶ Ready for structured support through divorce? Learn about THROUGH, Leslie's 8-week coaching program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram ▶ Book a free discovery call with Pamela: https://pamela-dussault-consulting.com —————————————— In this episode of Pulling Threads, Pamela Dussault — a coach with more than 23 years of experience guiding women through divorce, burnout, estrangement, and existential reckoning — walks us through her signature framework she calls "victory." Pamela's path began with her own series of storms, including a divorce from an abusive partner who threatened her life when she sought to leave. From that breaking point, she built a methodology that moves clients through three anchors: resetting the nervous system, disrupting the identity and belief patterns that no longer serve them, and rebuilding self-trust so they can emerge as the most authentic version of themselves. Leslie and Pamela talk candidly about the moment of awakening that comes inside crisis — when you finally see that the wall in front of you is actually a new beginning. They explore what it feels like to choose change, why acceptance is the hardest and most empowering step, and how something as small as the "butterfly tap" under the collarbone can move you out of fear and back into your body's wisdom. Pamela also shares her own story of setting new standards for love after divorce, and why it took her four years to find a relationship that matched what she actually wanted. If you're in the middle of your own storm — divorce, burnout, an estrangement, or that quiet existential question of "is this really my life?" — this episode is a gentle, grounded reminder that change isn't happening to you. It's happening for you. WHAT WE COVER: • Why nervous system reset has to come before the legal, financial, and parenting decisions • The "butterfly" technique and a hand-on-heart practice you can use today • How to spot the belief patterns keeping you in a life that doesn't fit anymore • Pamela's three-pillar framework: reset, disrupt, rebuild • Setting new standards for love (and why this isn't about finding a partner) • Holding both connection and distance in estrangement • The Disneyland moment when joy comes back — and what to do with it TIMESTAMP 00:00 Welcome & introducing Pamela Dussault 01:30 The one thing your younger self would be surprised by 04:00 'I need to know this for a reason' — the wounded healer's path 06:00 Leslie's newspaper-article moment & deciding to leave 10:30 Pamela's 3am awakening & the gentle voice that changed everything 14:00 The mind-body downloads after the spiritual opening 18:00 The black-mold sign and trusting the universe 20:30 What the reframe to hope actually looks like inside the pain 23:30 Joy returning after suffering: the Disneyland story 25:00 The first choice — acceptance is the hardest, most powerful move 26:30 Why nervous system reset is the first pillar (not finances) 29:00 Two practices: the butterfly tap & hand-on-heart 31:30 Disrupting belief patterns: what story are you living in? 34:30 Social media, constant fear, and the noise we absorb 38:00 Burnout, career change, and the courage to stop 40:30 Setting new standards for love after an abusive marriage 43:30 Looking for the relationship — not the person 45:30 How long it took, why she wasn't nervous, and what she refused to settle for 48:30 When overwhelm is real and when it's a signal 51:30 Pamela's three-pillar method: reset, disrupt, rebuild 54:00 Estrangement: how to love from a distance 57:00 The Pisces symbol — holding both wholeness and connection 01:02:30 How to work with Pamela: discovery calls & the Victory package 01:04:30 Closing reflections CONNECT WITH PAMELA DUSSAULT: • Website & free discovery call: https://pamela-dussault-consulting.com • Instagram & Threads: @pamela.dussault.consulting • All her links: https://linktr.ee/CrisisCoachPamela • Free burnout quiz: https://shorturl.at/8igxA CONNECT WITH LESLIE & THE LOOM LIFE: • THROUGH — 8-week divorce program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram • Main hub: https://theloomlife.com • Therapy practice: https://loomlifetherapy.com • Leslie's site: https://leslieellenmathews.com • Instagram: @the.loom.life • TikTok: @leslieellenmathews ▶ SUBSCRIBE for weekly conversations on divorce recovery, nervous system healing, and authentic living. ▶ If this episode helped, leave a rating or review — it's the single best way to help another woman find this work. #DivorceRecoveryPodcast #NervousSystemReset #HealingAfterDivorce #PullingThreads #TheLoomLife

The internet keeps telling men that women secretly want a “beast” — that dominance, danger, and edge are what really attract her, and that being kind makes you invisible. In this episode of Pulling Threads (For the Boys, Episode 5), Leslie Mathews takes that advice seriously instead of dismissing it — and shows exactly where it’s half-true and where it goes dangerously wrong. Using the story of Beauty and the Beast, Leslie unpacks the difference between the Beast — wounded, complex, full of depth — and Gaston, the entitled, cruel man Belle actually rejects. The men’s-content space and manosphere has been telling you to become Gaston while calling him the Beast. What women are really scanning for isn’t danger; it’s contained intensity: depth, self-direction, and edge without the chaos or cruelty. This is a conversation about becoming the prince at the end of the story — not a different man, but the same man who finally did the work of meeting his own woundedness instead of weaponizing it. ▶ WORK WITH LESLIE If this episode landed for you — or for a man in your life — book a call with Leslie at https://theloomlife.com. Leslie is currently opening space for men ready to do this work. — — — (everything above this line shows before “Show more”) — — — IN THIS EPISODE • Why the “women want a beast” theory is sticky — and partly true • The “fix him” pattern and why it pulls people into painful relationships • The real difference between contained intensity and danger • How to have the depth and edge of the “bad boy” without the cost • What becoming the “prince” actually requires CHAPTERS 00:00 The “Women Want a Beast” Myth 01:30 For the Boys, Ep. 5 — Taking the Advice Seriously 03:00 The Manosphere Argument, Explained 04:00 What’s Actually True About It 05:30 The “Fix Him” Pattern 06:00 The Beast Is Wounded, Not Cruel 07:00 Gaston — The Man Belle Actually Rejects 07:30 Contained Intensity vs. Danger 09:00 Depth Without the Damage 10:00 Women Drawn to Real Beasts 10:30 Becoming the Prince: The Beast Who Did the Work 12:30 Healing Inside Relationship 15:00 What Actually Works: Contained Depth 15:45 Closing & How to Work With Leslie ABOUT THE SHOW Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity is a podcast on personal growth, healing, relationships, nervous system regulation, and authentic living — hosted by Leslie Mathews, former attorney turned coach and founder of The Loom Life. CONNECT Website: https://theloomlife.com Instagram: @the.loom.life TikTok: @leslieellenmathews If this episode resonated, drop a comment below and subscribe for more from the For the Boys series. #PersonalGrowth #HealthyMasculinity #MensMentalHealth #RelationshipAdvice #PullingThreads

If you've been dating an avoidant man and you can't quite name what you've been tracking — this is for you. There's a paradox he can't articulate, and you've been guessing for your whole relationship. Today it gets language. 👉 Ready to stop performing your way through this? Book a 1:1 discovery call with Leslie: https://theloomlife.com 👉 If he's willing to do the work, send him the companion men's episode "Understanding Avoidant Attachment in Dating" on the For The Boys playlist. — — — — — — — — — — You are not crazy. You've been tracking something real. The fact that you can't quite name it is part of what makes the experience so disorienting — and it's the part the dating advice industrial complex never explains. In this companion episode to last week's For The Boys release, Leslie names what an avoidant man actually wants (yes, both things at once), why most online advice for women dating avoidant men is actively harmful, and what to do instead. In this episode: • The paradox he's been asking you to solve without telling you (and probably without knowing it himself) • Why "have your own life" as a strategy doesn't work — and what does • Performed distance vs. the real thing: why his nervous system can tell the difference instantly • Leslie's own story: the four-month discard, the conversation that changed everything, and what she learned saying no • The 5 things to actually do when you're dating an avoidant man • How to tell the difference between a healing avoidant and an unhealed one (this is the whole game) • Why "the full life is the point, not the bait" This episode pairs with For The Boys Ep. 4: "Understanding Avoidant Attachment in Dating" — same information, written for the man on the other side of this conversation. — — — — — — — — — — 🧵 ABOUT PULLING THREADS Pulling Threads is a podcast hosted by Leslie Mathews — former attorney turned coach and host of The Loom Life. The show explores attachment, dating, divorce recovery, nervous system regulation, somatic work, and authentic living. 🌐 WORK WITH LESLIE • Website: https://theloomlife.com • Book a discovery call: https://theloomlife.com • Instagram: https://instagram.com/the.loom.life • TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews 📬 DROP A COMMENT Did this land for you — especially section 5 on whether he closes the gap? Tell Leslie below. 00:00 Welcome — A Companion Piece for the Girls 01:00 You Are Not Crazy 02:00 Why Most Dating Advice for Women Is Wrong 03:00 What He Actually Wants 04:00 Both Needs at Once: The Paradox 05:00 Leslie's Story: The Air Filter Moment 07:00 What You've Already Learned in Your Body 08:00 Same Week, Opposite Signals 09:00 Where Dismissive Avoidance Comes From 10:00 What His Nervous System Is Scanning You For 11:00 Leslie's Full Life When They Met 12:00 The Middle: When She Stopped Saying No 13:00 Why His System Reads You as a Threat 14:00 Why the Internet's Advice Is Harmful 15:00 Performed Distance Is Still Engulfment 16:00 The "Orbiters" 17:00 The Full Life Is the Point, Not the Bait 18:00 The Four-Month Discard 19:00 The Calm Response That Changed Everything 21:00 The 5 Recommendations Start Here 22:00 1: Don't Text Him First All Day 22:30 2: Don't Make Him Your Primary Emotional Regulator 23:30 3: Let Him Pursue 24:00 4: Communicate Clearly, Not in Questions 24:30 5: Watch Whether He Closes the Gap 26:00 You're Not Weak. You're Not Too Much. 27:00 The Real Choice You Get to Make 28:00 Where to Find Leslie + Book a Call

Former model and longtime QVC host Chelsea Freeman on what it actually takes to reinvent yourself after a major life pivot — and why looking good has nothing to do with vanity. 🌿 Work with Leslie: https://theloomlife.com ✨ THROUGH — 8-Week Divorce Program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram 📩 [email protected] In this episode of Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity, Leslie sits down with longtime friend Chelsea Freeman — seasoned QVC host, former shopping-TV model, and creator of The Chelsea Standard — for a wide-ranging conversation about identity, confidence, and the kind of reinvention that arrives whether you’re ready or not. Chelsea began her career in shopping television at just nineteen and spent years in front of the camera and behind the scenes in product development before stepping back from the industry to focus on family. After an unexpected family move from Florida to Pennsylvania, she launched The Chelsea Standard — a fashion, beauty, and lifestyle brand that’s allowed her to step into a fresh chapter on her own terms. Together, Leslie and Chelsea unpack: How early modeling shaped (and sometimes distorted) Chelsea’s relationship with her own body What our mothers and grandmothers passed down about beauty and worth The difference between beauty as performance and beauty as self-care Why “vanity” and “self-respect” are not the same thing Permission slips women rarely give themselves — to evolve, to take up space, to like the way they look without apology How to navigate big life pivots when they weren’t your idea This is a lighter episode about heavy themes: identity, visibility, self-worth, and the quiet work of becoming who you’ve always imagined yourself to be. ✨ CONNECT WITH CHELSEA Instagram: @thechelseastandard TikTok: search “The Chelsea Standard” Catch her hosting on QVC 🌐 CONNECT WITH LESLIE Website: https://theloomlife.com Therapy: https://loomlifetherapy.com Personal: https://leslieellenmathews.com Instagram: @the.loom.life TikTok: @leslieellenmathews 🎯 READY FOR YOUR OWN REINVENTION? Curious about working with Leslie 1:1 or joining the THROUGH divorce coaching program? Visit https://theloomlife.com to book a discovery call. 📺 Subscribe for new episodes weekly — real conversations on healing, identity, and weaving an authentic life. ⭐ If this episode resonated, leave a 5-star rating on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps more women find conversations like these. #PullingThreads #ReinventingYourself #WomenInTransition #Confidence #PersonalGrowth

Avoidant attachment in men isn't about not wanting love. It's about a paradox almost no one names: you want her to choose you completely AND have a full life that doesn't depend on you. This episode names it. 👉 For the woman in your life who's been confused by you: send her the companion episode "What an Avoidant Man Actually Wants" on the main Pulling Threads feed (dropping next week). 👉 Ready to work on this 1:1? Book a discovery call at https://theloomlife.com — — — — — — — — — — If every woman you've ever dated has told you she's confused, hurt, or in tears and you didn't have an answer for her — this episode is for you. Leslie names the central confusion of dating with an avoidant attachment style: you want to be the center of her universe AND you need her to have her own life. Until somebody names it, it stays a contradiction. Once it has language, something can quietly shift. In this episode: • The paradox you've been living inside (and why men's content space treats it as a contradiction) • Where dismissive avoidant attachment actually comes from — the two signals your nervous system got before you had any choices • What your nervous system has been scanning every woman for, without your permission • Why the woman who wants you the most is the one you can never quite want back • The 90-second engulfment alarm — and how to catch it before it makes the call for you • How to communicate your need for space without disappearing • The conversation that begins to repair what you couldn't name before • Chosen vs. needed — the reframe that changes the entire dating landscape This episode is part of Pulling Threads' For The Boys playlist — a series geared specifically toward men navigating attachment, dating, and personal growth. — — — — — — — — — — 🧵 ABOUT PULLING THREADS Pulling Threads is a podcast hosted by Leslie Mathews — former attorney turned coach and host of The Loom Life. The show explores divorce recovery, attachment, nervous system regulation, somatic work, and authentic living. 🌐 WORK WITH LESLIE • Website: https://theloomlife.com • 1:1 coaching discovery calls: https://theloomlife.com • Instagram: https://instagram.com/the.loom.life • TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews 📬 GOT A TOPIC? Drop it in the comments — Leslie is opening up topic requests from men specifically. What do you want her to talk about next?

In a recent therapy session, my therapist asked me a simple question I couldn't answer: "How would it feel to say I?" I couldn't. ✨ If this episode names something you've been carrying, I work with women on exactly this at The Loom Life → https://theloomlife.com ✨ Ready for structured support through divorce or transition? Explore the THROUGH program → https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram This solo episode is about a single moment in a couples therapy session — and the much bigger pattern that moment exposed. I'm calling it the disappearing I: what happens when women have lived so long inside the emotional weather of another person that they no longer have a neutral location to speak from. The first-person voice goes quiet. Sometimes for years. In this episode I unpack: • Why "selfish" is the word that flashes when we try to claim our own needs • How IFS protector parts learn to keep us safe by keeping us tuned to other people • The fawn response in polyvagal terms, and how anxious attachment treats merging as safety • How the disappearing I leaks into business, client work, creative life, friendships, and the body • The way back — treating the first-person voice as a muscle that has atrophied, not a moral failing This is a quieter episode. Not a dramatic before-and-after, but the kind of inner work that slowly changes a life. CHAPTERS 00:00 Today's vulnerable opening 01:00 "How would it feel to say I?" 02:00 Welcome to Pulling Threads — introducing the disappearing I 03:00 The neon word: selfish 05:00 Context — a partner in deep trauma work 07:00 "Can you locate yourself?" 08:00 Defining the disappearing I (this is not selflessness) 09:00 Where it comes from 10:00 IFS protector parts and childhood origins 12:00 Becoming the calm one for an exhausted parent 13:00 Polyvagal fawn and anxious attachment 15:00 Cultural conditioning and good-girl training 16:00 How the disappearing I leaks: business, pricing, client work 18:00 Career, creative life, friendships 19:00 How it leaks into the body and your sense of self 20:00 The way back (a Mother's Day reflection) 22:00 Practicing I with my own therapist 23:00 Treating the first-person voice as a muscle 24:00 A note on partners in active trauma work 26:00 Closing reflection and an invitation CONNECT WITH LESLIE Website → https://theloomlife.com Therapy services → https://loomlifetherapy.com Personal site → https://leslieellenmathews.com Instagram → https://instagram.com/the.loom.life TikTok → https://tiktok.com/@leslieellenmathews Email → [email protected] WORK WITH LESLIE THROUGH (8-week divorce coaching program) → https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram 1:1 coaching & therapy inquiries → https://theloomlife.com If this episode resonated, please subscribe, leave a comment with the moment that landed for you, and share with someone who might need to hear it. Thank you for being here. Keywords: people pleasing in relationships, fawn response, anxious attachment, internal family systems, IFS parts work, polyvagal theory, women's mental health, healing attachment wounds, losing yourself in a relationship, reclaiming your voice, therapy for people pleasers, mother's day reflection #PullingThreadsPodcast #MentalHealthPodcast #PeoplePleasing #FawnResponse #IFSTherapy #AnxiousAttachment #WomensMentalHealth

What happens to a teenager who's sent away to be "fixed"? Kaila Miller spent 48 weeks inside a residential program at 16 — and now she's a therapist helping families heal differently. ✨ FROM LESLIE 🌐 theloomlife.com | loomlifetherapy.com | leslieellenmathews.com 💌 Book a discovery call → theloomlife.com 🌿 THROUGH (8-week divorce coaching program) → theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram 📩 [email protected] 🎁 GUEST: KAILA MILLER 📖 Memoir "Am I Changed?" → amichanged.com 🌀 Outrvention (whole-family intervention) → outrvention.com 📱 IG & Threads: @kailatheauthor — — — ABOUT THIS EPISODE At 16, Kaila Miller was woken up at 5 a.m. by transporters, flown to the Arizona desert, and dropped into a residential program for what would become 48 weeks of her life. The question that came out of that experience — am I changed? — became the title of her debut memoir (an Amazon Top New Release) and the foundation of her life's work as a therapist, advocate, and co-founder of Outrvention. In this conversation, Kaila and Leslie talk about: • The lineage and family history that shape every child long before they "act out" • What actually happens inside Troubled Teen Industry (TTI) programs — the level system, the silence, the punitive structure • Why parents end up there in desperation, not malice — and what to look for if you have to send your child to a program • Outrvention: a whole-family intervention model where every member of the family gets their own treatment plan, not just the "identified patient" • Parenting teenagers while your own teenage self is still healing • The IFS-informed moment in Big Sur where Kaila finally let her adult self parent her teenage self • Navigating divorce, co-parenting, and what kids actually need when a family restructures • Why the most powerful thing a parent can do is heal themselves • Resilience, hope, and the belief that life is a journey of becoming, not arriving TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Welcome & introducing Kaila Miller 02:30 Lineage: why your story starts before you do 04:45 Childhood abuse, addiction at 12, and putting an abuser in prison 08:30 Running away at 16 and the night the transporters came 12:00 Inside a residential program: levels, silence, and "work hours" 17:00 Hitting bottom on level two and making run plans 20:00 Why families end up in the Troubled Teen Industry 28:30 What Kaila wishes her parents had known 31:00 If you have to send your child to a program what to look for 35:30 December crisis, Big Sur, and meeting her teenage self 41:00 Letting the adult self parent the inner teenager 50:00 Lineage, family systems, and how patterns travel 56:30 Why DSM diagnoses are not lifetime sentences 61:30 Outrvention: a treatment plan for every member of the family 68:00 Sons, fathers, and the work mothers don't always realize they're doing 75:00 The most important thing a parent can do is heal themselves 80:00 Becoming, not arriving where Kaila's conviction comes from 83:00 Building resilience and reinstalling hope 88:30 The brain wants to heal prescription over diagnosis 93:30 What Kaila would tell her 16-year-old self 97:00 Where to find Kaila, the book, and Outrvention ABOUT KAILA Kaila Miller (Kaila Kraft) is a licensed therapist (AMFT), TTI survivor, mom of four, and the author of "Am I Changed?" — an Amazon Top New Release. She is the co-founder of Outrvention, a family-centered intervention model that treats the whole system rather than the "identified" child. WORK WITH LESLIE 🌿 The Loom Life: theloomlife.com 🧠 Loom Life Therapy (EMDR, IFS, trauma): loomlifetherapy.com 💛 Coaching with Leslie: leslieellenmathews.com 🎯 1:1 coaching & therapy — book a discovery call at theloomlife.com PROGRAMS ✨ THROUGH — 8-week divorce coaching program for women → theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram ABOUT PULLING THREADS Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity is a podcast for anyone navigating divorce, healing from trauma, and rebuilding their life with intention. New episodes weekly. CONTENT NOTE This episode includes discussion of childhood abuse, the Troubled Teen Industry, and residential treatment. Listen with care. If this conversation moved you, please rate, review, and subscribe — it helps others find the show. KEYWORDS: troubled teen industry, TTI survivor, residential treatment for teens, parenting teenagers, trauma healing, generational trauma, IFS inner teenager, whole family intervention, Outrvention, divorce and parenting, mental health podcast for women, Pulling Threads, Leslie Mathews, Kaila Miller, Am I Changed #PullingThreads #TroubledTeenIndustry #TraumaHealing #ParentingTeens #MentalHealthPodcast

Grounded masculinity isn't a performance — it's a state. What women's nervous systems actually scan for, from a therapist's perspective. 🔗 Work with Leslie 1:1: https://theloomlife.com 🎧 Subscribe to Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity for the rest of the For the Boys playlist. In Episode 2 of For the Boys, Leslie Mathews — therapist, coach, and former attorney — unpacks the difference between a man women keep going back to and a man women politely never see again. This isn't dating-coach advice or pickup strategy. It's the actual nervous-system work underneath the noise around "masculine energy" — and why performing it never works. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN • Why a woman's nervous system "files a report" on you within 7 minutes • The 4 things women are scanning for — and how to know if you actually have them • Why performing groundedness reads as a threat • The difference between habit and performance after years in the dating world • Why "regulation hunger" sabotages even sophisticated strategies • The unsexy practice steps that actually build a regulated nervous system • What G.S. Youngblood calls "presence" — and why it's downstream of nervous system work WHO THIS IS FOR Men who are post-divorce or post-breakup, re-entering the dating world, and want to grow rather than chase. Not for skilled players who've made the game a habit — for the men trying to figure out how to actually show up. WORK WITH LESLIE Leslie is a therapist, coach, and former attorney specializing in divorce, breakups, and relationships. She typically works with women but is opening some 1:1 coaching space for men because the work matters on both sides of the equation. 🌐 Websites • theloomlife.com • loomlifetherapy.com • leslieellenmathews.com 📩 Contact: [email protected] 📲 Follow • Instagram: @the.loom.life • TikTok: @leslieellenmathews 📚 Mentioned in this episode • "Masculine in Relationship" by G.S. Youngblood NEXT IN THE PLAYLIST Why men pick the same kind of woman over and over — attachment patterns, how your body chooses partners before your mind does, and why you keep ending up across the dinner table from a slightly different version of your ex. CHAPTERS 00:00 Intro: For the Boys, Episode 2 01:00 Why men's content gets "masculine energy" wrong 02:00 What a woman's nervous system is actually scanning for 03:00 "Collecting information": below conscious level 04:00 What women aren't looking for (it's not biceps or money) 05:00 Presence, regulation, and why performing fails 06:00 Performance reads as a threat 07:00 For men new to post-divorce dating 08:00 Habit vs. performance — the long-term difference 09:00 Scan #1: Can you be with your own feelings? 10:00 Scan #2: Can you hold her feelings without flinching or fixing? 13:00 Holding space without taking on the burden 14:00 What "just listen" actually looks like 15:00 Scan #3: Do you have a life that's yours? 16:00 Scan #4: Do you trust your own yes and no? 17:00 The trap: weaponizing this as strategy 18:00 Why doing this for her response collapses the state 19:00 The actual (unsexy) practice 20:00 Practicing your "no" and "yes" with small things 21:00 Leslie's own people-pleasing story 22:00 What it feels like when the work works 23:00 What to do next 24:00 Next in the playlist + outro #GroundedMasculinity #MasculineEnergy #DatingAfterDivorce #MensPersonalGrowth #PullingThreads Keywords: grounded masculinity, masculine energy explained, nervous system regulation for men, dating after divorce for men, presence in relationships, masculine in relationship, G.S. Youngblood, life coach for men after divorce, men's personal growth after divorce, how to be a safe partner DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes and is not a substitute for therapy or professional mental health care. Time Chapter Title 00:00 Intro: For the Boys, Episode 2 01:00 Why men's content gets "masculine energy" wrong 02:00 What a woman's nervous system is actually scanning for 03:00 "Collecting information": below conscious level 04:00 What women aren't looking for (biceps, money, game) 05:00 Presence, regulation, and the G.S. Youngblood reference 06:00 Why performance reads as a threat 07:00 For men new to post-divorce dating 08:00 Habit vs. performance — the long-term difference 09:00 Scan #1: Can you be with your own feelings? 10:00 Scan #2: Can you hold her feelings without flinching or fixing? 13:00 Holding space without taking on the burden 14:00 What "just listen" actually looks like 15:00 Scan #3: Do you have a life that's yours? 16:00 Scan #4: Do you trust your own yes and no? 17:00 The trap: weaponizing this as strategy 18:00 Why doing this for her response collapses the state 19:00 The actual (unsexy) practice 20:00 Practicing your "no" and "yes" with small things 21:00 Leslie's own people-pleasing story 22:00 What it feels like when the work works 23:00 What to do next 24:00 Next in the playlist + outro

Divorce isn't just emotional — it's physiological. In this solo episode, Leslie walks you through whole-person healing → theloomlife.com Work with Leslie: → THROUGH (8-week divorce coaching program): theloomlife.com/through → Mindful Untangling Community: theloomlife.com/community → Book a 90-minute Power Session or Discovery Call: theloomlife.com — When clients first come to work with Leslie through divorce or a difficult breakup, they expect strategy sessions about their ex and the loss of the marriage. What surprises almost every one of them is that the real work — the work that determines whether they walk out grounded or limp out depleted — happens somewhere they didn't expect: in the body. Divorce is not primarily a legal event. It is not primarily an emotional event. It's a sustained physiological event your nervous system was never designed to carry for months or years. In this episode, Leslie pulls back the curtain on what she actually works on with clients — and why these are the conversations that change the outcome of a divorce, not just the experience of it. What you'll learn in this episode: • Why divorce is a physiological event — and what chronic cortisol does to your sleep, digestion, memory, and decision-making • The sleep, nutrition, and movement foundation that everything else stands on • Why pleasure and self-pleasure are nervous system co-regulation — not a distraction from healing • The honest question to ask yourself before you start dating again • Monkey branching: what it really means when your ex moves on quickly (and why it's not about you) • Why starting a new hobby literally rewires the brain during a rumination event • How to prepare for hard days — court dates, custody exchanges, first holidays — like an athlete prepares for competition This episode is for anyone going through a divorce or breakup, anyone preparing for one, and anyone who loves someone walking through it. It's for men. It's for women. It's for the friend in your group chat who is barely holding on. — RESOURCES MENTIONED • OMG Yes (women's pleasure education): omgyes.com • Blood work, hormone testing, and supplement support — talk to your own practitioner WORK WITH LESLIE • THROUGH — the 8-week divorce coaching program (small group or 1:1): theloomlife.com/through • Mindful Untangling — the divorce & breakup recovery community: theloomlife.com/community • 1:1 Coaching, 90-minute Power Sessions, and Discovery Calls: theloomlife.com • Therapy with Leslie (EMDR, IFS, trauma): loomlifetherapy.com • Leslie's main site: leslieellenmathews.com • Email: [email protected] FOLLOW & CONNECT • Instagram: @the.loom.life • TikTok: @leslieellenmathews • Podcast: Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity — wherever you listen — ABOUT LESLIE Leslie Mathews is a former attorney turned therapist and divorce coach, the founder of The Loom Life, and the host of Pulling Threads, Weaving Authenticity. Her work supports people moving through divorce, breakup, and post-divorce transformation with a whole-person approach: body, nervous system, mind, and identity. — If this episode resonated, the kindest thing you can do is subscribe, leave a comment, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Every share helps another person find this work. Keywords: divorce recovery, how to heal after divorce, divorce coaching for women, nervous system healing, whole-person divorce healing, divorce coaching program, life after divorce, healing podcast for women, mental health podcast for women, monkey branching, dating after divorce, rebuilding identity after divorce 00:00 Cold open — what clients are surprised we talk about 02:00 Welcome to Pulling Threads — episode intro 04:00 The reframe: divorce as a physiological event 07:00 What I assess first: your nervous system 09:00 Sleep is the foundation of everything else 11:30 Nutrition, hydration, and daily movement 14:00 The patterns I see in men vs. women 15:30 Supplements, blood work, and hormones 17:30 Pleasure & self-pleasure as nervous system co-regulation 21:30 Dating during divorce — what is it really for? 24:30 Monkey branching: when your ex moves on quickly 27:30 Why a new hobby literally rewires your brain 30:30 Preparing for hard days like an athlete 32:30 Recap — the body is the foundation 33:30 Work with Leslie: THROUGH, 1:1, Power Sessions

Burnout, manifesting & reinvention — Cassidy Gard shares her raw journey from Good Morning America to author & mother. 🔗 Pre-order Cosmic Goodness (May 12, 2026): https://amzn.to/4sTTAD3 🌐 Cassidy's website: https://www.cosmicgoodness.com 🌿 Work with Leslie: https://www.theloomlife.com | https://www.leslieellenmathews.com What happens when the version of success you worked your whole life for starts to feel like a cage? In this episode, Leslie sits down with Cassidy Gard — three-time Emmy Award–winning television producer, former Good Morning America on-air reporter, and debut author of Cosmic Goodness: Surrendering the Shadows to Live in the Light (Post Hill Press / Simon & Schuster, May 12, 2026). Cassidy's story is one of radical reinvention: moving from New York City to the mountains of Montana during the pandemic, reckoning with burnout and grief, navigating motherhood and postpartum rage, choosing a relationship outside of marriage, and — woven through all of it — trusting the force she calls "cosmic goodness" to guide her forward. This conversation goes deep on healing, identity, the invisible cost of hypervigilance, what it means to break generational cycles, and why authenticity is less about having it figured out and more about telling your truth even when it's uncomfortable. ✨ In This Episode: How Cassidy manifested her way from a small Florida town to the Good Morning America newsroom at 17 What "Saturn Return" burnout actually feels like from the inside — and what broke open first Growing up with an alcoholic parent and the grief of losing someone you were never close to What "cosmic goodness" means and how to recognize it in your own life Honest reflections on postpartum rage, motherhood, and the power dynamic of household labor Why she built her own sanctuary in Montana — and how it changed everything Her take on marriage, identity, and building a committed life on your own terms The non-traditional education path that nobody talks about enough 📚 About Cassidy's Book: Cosmic Goodness: Surrendering the Shadows to Live in the Light — out May 12, 2026 via Post Hill Press / Simon & Schuster. Featuring a foreword by Mariel Hemingway and advance praise from Mel Robbins and Marianne Williamson. Revealed exclusively in PEOPLE Magazine. Available now for pre-order: https://amzn.to/4sTTAD3 🔗 Connect with Cassidy Gard: Website: https://www.cosmicgoodness.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cassidygard 🌿 Work with Leslie: The Loom Life: https://www.theloomlife.com Leslie Ellen Mathews: https://www.leslieellenmathews.com Loom Life Therapy: https://www.loomlifetherapy.com Mindful Untangling Community: https://www.theloomlife.com/mindful-untangling THROUGH 8-Week Coaching Program: https://www.theloomlife.com/through Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.loom.life [email protected] ⏱️ Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome & Guest Introduction 02:00 Growing up in Florida, moving to NYC at 17 04:00 Astrology, human design & manifesting signs 07:00 Blake Lively stand-in on the Gossip Girl set 09:00 Building a career: red carpets, press junkets & domino-effect networking 11:00 Saturn Return, burnout & her father's terminal cancer 14:00 Lady Gaga press line & the energy cost of being hypervigilant 17:00 The pandemic reckoning & the decision to leave NYC 22:00 Moving to Montana & building Cosmic Goodness Ranch 28:00 Sobriety, growing up with an alcoholic parent & the patterns we carry 34:00 What manifesting really means + the power of journaling 39:00 Writing the book: seven parts, one honest story 44:00 Hyphenating last names, choosing partnership without marriage 49:00 Her partner's story & how they met 52:00 Montana as a sanctuary — and why every woman needs a world of her own 54:00 What "cosmic goodness" actually means 56:00 Inside the book: prologue, grief, burnout, love & motherhood 01:00:00 Grieving an estranged parent + breaking generational cycles 01:03:00 Pre-order Cosmic Goodness (May 12, 2026) 01:04:00 What authenticity means to Cassidy right now 01:05:00 What she's manifesting next: books 2 and 3 01:07:00 Non-traditional education + building your own path 🔔 Never miss an episode — subscribe and hit the bell! Keywords: burnout recovery for women, manifesting your life, healing from childhood trauma, reinvention after burnout, personal growth podcast, women's empowerment, Cassidy Gard, Cosmic Goodness book, Good Morning America, motherhood and identity #PullingThreadsPodcast #WomensEmpowerment #ManifestingLife #PersonalGrowthPodcast #MentalHealthPodcast

Why Divorce Loneliness Hits Men So Hard (And What's Actually Happening) This one is for the men. Specifically the men 40 to 60 who are coming out of a long marriage and don't have language for what their body is doing without her in it. Most of the content out there for divorced men is either selling you a playbook or pretending the loneliness will go away if you just download the apps. This is neither. This is the biology of what just happened to you, said plainly, by someone who actually likes you. We talk about: — Why the silence in the house is louder than you expected — Co-regulation: how your nervous system used your wife as an anchor for years without you knowing it — Why divorced men are statistically lonelier than widowed men and lonelier than divorced women — The 11pm trap (you know the one) — Why the next woman is probably going to look a lot like the last one if you skip the inner work — The three-part path back, none of it flashy This is Episode 1 of a new playlist called For the Boys. The next episode — How to Be a Man a Woman Feels Safe With — picks up where this one leaves off. If this is more relevant to a man in your life than to you, send it to him. That's how it gets where it needs to go. ⏱ CHAPTERS 00:00 Boys. Hi. Pull up a chair. 01:00 Why I'm making this episode (and a confession) 02:30 Why you're here 03:30 The hum that won't go away 05:00 Your wife was your nervous system's anchor 07:00 When the signal goes silent 09:00 The 11pm trap 10:30 The friend you don't have at 10pm 12:30 Why this is a life-and-death conversation 13:30 The instinct to find a new her 14:30 Why the next one will look like the last one 15:30 Three things that actually work 17:30 A different shape of man 18:00 You're not broken 18:45 What's coming in Episode 2 🧵 KEEP GOING Book a discovery call with Leslie: https://theloomlife.com/discovery-call?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=youtube&utm_content=why-divorce-loneliness-hits-men-so-hard Read the written version on Substack: [insert your Substack URL here] Visit The LooM Life: https://theloomlife.com 📚 REFERENCED GS Youngblood — Masculine in Relationship (referenced in the Episode 2 tease) 🪡 ABOUT PULLING THREADS Pulling Threads is a podcast about attachment, nervous system regulation, and how human beings move through the big transitions — divorce, breakup, midlife, becoming. Hosted by Leslie of The LooM Life. 💬 I'D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU If you're a man who has been through this, drop a comment. Tell us how long it took. What helped. What didn't. What you wish someone had told you at the beginning. Other men will read it. #fortheboys #divorcedmen #postdivorce #menshealing #nervoussystem #attachmenttheory #midlifedivorce #mensmentalhealth #dating40s #loneliness

Free trauma regulation guidebook from Ashley Anne: substack.com/@gravitypointinstitute Work with Leslie: theloomlife.com What if trauma work didn’t have to feel like guesswork? In this episode of Pulling Threads, Leslie sits down with Ashley Anne, PhD — trauma specialist, neuro counselor, TEDx speaker, and founder of the Gravity Point® Institute — to unpack nearly 20 years of research into one of the most important distinctions in healing: self-care vs. self-regulation. Ashley grew up as a highly sensitive, neurodivergent child who looked fine on the outside and felt everything on the inside. She became a trauma therapist and burned out badly — despite doing yoga, journaling, therapy twice a week, and all the self-care. What she discovered in her research was that self-care and self-regulation are not the same thing. And that difference changed everything. In this conversation, Leslie and Ashley explore: • Why self-care alone can’t heal a dysregulated nervous system • The Gravity Point Method: a step-by-step process for resolving stress and trauma — not just managing it • How the body signals dysregulation before the mind catches up • The difference between a “true state” and a “trauma state” — and why divorce activates both • Why highly sensitive and neurodivergent people get stuck in toxic dynamics • How healing yourself is contagious — one nervous system at a time This episode is for anyone who has done “all the things” and still feels stuck, anyone navigating divorce trauma, and anyone curious about what it actually means to regulate — not just cope. [★ RESOURCES MENTIONED] ★ Ashley’s FREE Guidebook (download via Substack): substack.com/@gravitypointinstitute ★ Ashley’s Book: gravitypointinstitute.com/publications ★ Gravity Point® Institute: gravitypointinstitute.com ★ Follow Ashley: @gravitypointinstitute (Instagram, YouTube, all platforms) [★ WORK WITH LESLIE] ► The Loom Life (coaching, therapy & more): theloomlife.com ► Loom Life Therapy: loomlifetherapy.com ► THROUGH — Leslie’s 8-Week Divorce Coaching Program: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram ► Mindful Untangling Community: https://theloomlife.com/community ► Follow Leslie on Instagram: @the.loom.life ► TikTok: @leslieellenmathews #PullingThreads #TraumaHealing #NervousSystemHealing #SelfRegulation #DivorceTroubleRecovery

What happens when the voice that was taken from you becomes the very thing that heals you? In this powerful episode of Pulling Threads, Leslie sits down with Nashville-based singer, songwriter, and vocal coach Demaree Hill — a Broadway performer, single mom, and the woman who recorded a duet with Dolly Parton — for a conversation about what it truly means to find your voice again, literally and emotionally. Demaree's story spans from singing as a two-and-a-half-year-old into a candlestick for her family, to performing in Les Misérables on Broadway at age eight, to navigating the silence that a controlling marriage placed over her music and her dreams. After her divorce, she found that words and journaling weren't enough — music became the medicine that unlocked what nothing else could reach. Now, through her "Finding Your Voice Again" workshops and one-on-one sessions at Story Studios, she helps women and men reclaim the voice that life tried to quiet. This episode covers: Why so many women are silenced — and how it starts in childhood The deep connection between your nervous system, your throat, and emotional healing How music creates somatic release that talk therapy alone can't always reach Demaree's full story: Broadway, a controlling marriage, COVID pneumonia, and how she ended up singing a duet with Dolly Parton The moment Dolly listened to Demaree's songs — and said "I want to record with you" Why you don't have to be a singer to heal through music Identifying the voices (internal and external) that made you play small Leslie's own story of the voice she sat down in sixth grade — and where that healing is taking her If you've ever been told your voice was too much, not enough, or that your dreams had an expiration date — this episode is for you. Connect with Demaree Hill: Website + workshops: www.demareemusic.com — workshop sign-up coming soon Instagram: @demareemusic Twitter / Threads / X: @demareemusic Facebook: Demaree Story Studios Instagram: @storystudiosnashville Email: [email protected] Work with Leslie & The Loom Life: Mindful Untangling (community): https://theloomlife.com/community THROUGH (8-week coaching program): https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram Loom Life Therapy: [email protected] Website: www.theloomlife.com Instagram: @the.loom.life TikTok: @leslieellenmathews #PullingThreads #FindingYourVoice #HealingThroughMusic #DivorceRecovery #TheLoomLife

Ready to do the real work? Join THROUGH: https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram or Book a call: theloomlife.com The divorce glow up is everywhere on TikTok right now. The before-and-after side-by-sides. The captions: "The divorce effect is real. No lab coat required." And honestly? I love them. But I want to tell you the part that doesn't make it into the 62-second clip — because that part is actually the most empowering thing I could say to you today. The glow up you see in those videos is real. But it takes real, non-linear, sometimes very painful work. And it's worth every bit of it. In this episode, I'm breaking down: • What's actually happening biologically, psychologically & somatically when someone exits a suppressive relationship • Why your nervous system dysregulation shows up in your body (cortisol, jaw tension, disrupted sleep) — and what recovery actually looks like • The Window of Tolerance and why the glow up doesn't just appear because you want it to • What doing "the work" really means in practice — somatic tracking, emotional processing, recovering the parts of yourself that went quiet • How to find yourself in the gap between who you were and who you're becoming If you're watching those videos from inside the hardest part of your story — if you don't feel like you've had your glow up yet — you're not doing it wrong. You're just in the middle. And the middle is exactly where transformation happens. The divorce effect that doesn't fit in TikTok is the one I care about most. It's the one I've lived. And it's the one I help women build every day. WORK WITH LESLIE: • THROUGH (8-week divorce coaching program): https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram • Mindful Untangling Community (launching May): https://theloomlife.com/community • 1:1 Coaching + Discovery Call: theloomlife.com • Loom Life Therapy: loomlifetherapy.com CONNECT: • Instagram: @the.loom.life • TikTok: @parandpeace • Email: [email protected] • Website: theloomlife.com 00:00:00 Hook: The Divorce Effect Is Trending 00:01:00 The Unpopular Opinion Inside All That Hope 00:02:00 Welcome to Pulling Threads ~00:02:30 What's Actually Happening in the Before & After Videos 00:03:00 Chronic Relational Stress, Cortisol & Your Nervous System 00:04:00 What the 62-Second Clip Can't Show You 00:05:00 The Highlight Reel vs. a Map 00:06:00 If You're in the Middle of the Process Right Now ~00:06:30 The Window of Tolerance — Why the Glow Up Takes Time 00:07:00 What the Real Work Looks Like in Practice 00:08:00 Tracking Sensations & Building Emotional Capacity ~00:08:30 Recovering the Parts of Yourself That Went Quiet 00:09:00 Tolerating the In-Between Space 00:10:00 The Truth Is More Hopeful Than a Shortcut 00:11:00 The Divorce Effect That Doesn't Fit in TikTok ~00:11:30 Leslie's Personal Story 00:12:00 Rock Bottom & the Work That Changed Everything 00:13:00 EMDR, Meditation & Learning to Trust Yourself ~00:13:30 How This Work Led Leslie to The Loom Life 00:14:00 THROUGH Program & Mindful Untangling Community 00:15:00 Discovery Call & What Support Looks Like 00:16:00 A Message for Women Earlier in Their Story 00:17:00 Thank You + Subscribe divorce glow up, divorce effect, how to heal after divorce, nervous system healing after divorce, somatic healing, window of tolerance, post-traumatic growth, divorce recovery, divorce coaching, healing after divorce #DivorceRecovery #DivorceGlowUp #HealingAfterDivorce #NervousSystemHealing #PullingThreads

Divorce financial planning starts before you hire a lawyer — and the team you build changes everything. 📖 Melissa's book — Divorce by Design: https://amzn.to/4e5znpU ───────────────────────────────────── What if divorce didn't have to feel like chaos? In this episode of Pulling Threads, host Leslie Mathews sits down with Melissa Murphy Pavone — Certified Financial Planner™ (CFP®), Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®), and founder of Mindful Divorce Partners — to talk about what it really means to design your divorce instead of just reacting to it. Melissa explains why the first person you should call is NOT an attorney, how a well-built divorce team actually saves you money, and the most common financial mistake people make — which almost always involves the house. Whether you're quietly thinking about divorce, in the middle of the process, or rebuilding your life after signing the papers — this conversation will change how you think about divorce and money. 💡 In this episode: What a CDFA does — and how they differ from a forensic accountant Why your first call shouldn't be to a lawyer How a collaborative divorce team saves time AND money The #1 financial mistake in divorce (hint: it's usually the house) Why not all assets are equal — retirement vs. cash explained How your nervous system affects decisions in divorce meetings Post-divorce financial checklist: beneficiaries, insurance & more Melissa's Financial Clarity Package for anyone quietly considering divorce ───────────────────────────────────── 🌿 ABOUT MELISSA MURPHY PAVONE Melissa Murphy Pavone, CFP®, CDFA®, is a Certified Financial Planner™ and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® with over a decade of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and confidence. As the founder of Mindful Divorce Partners, she specializes in collaborative divorce planning, financial education, and helping clients make informed decisions during one of life's most challenging transitions. 📧 [email protected] 📞 631-903-8282 🌐 mindfuldivorcepartners.com 📸 Instagram: @mindfuldivorcepartners 💼 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/melissamurphypavone 🗓️ Free 30-min consultation with Melissa: mindfuldivorcepartners.com ───────────────────────────────────── ⏱ CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome & Introduction — Meet Melissa Murphy Pavone 01:15 CDFA vs. Forensic Accountant: What's the Difference? 02:30 Financial Neutral vs. Advocate: How a CDFA Fits Your Divorce 03:15 Melissa's Story: Why She Pivoted to Divorce Financial Planning 04:30 No Two Divorces Look the Same — Customizing the Process 05:00 Mediation & Collaborative Divorce: When It Works 07:00 What Does It Mean to 'Design' a Divorce? 09:00 Why Emotional Support Comes Before Financial Planning 11:00 Leslie's Story: Fight-or-Flight & the Urge for Numbers 13:00 Nervous System Triggers in Divorce Meetings 15:00 How Divorce Teams Actually Get Assembled 17:00 Debunking the Myth: Having a Full Team Costs More 19:30 The #1 Financial Mistake: Keeping the Marital Home 22:00 Replacing Fear with Facts: Best & Worst Case Scenarios 24:00 When Emotions Hijack Financial Clarity 25:00 Not All Assets Are Equal — Understanding Tax Impact 45:00 Tracking Expenses & Lifestyle Analysis During Divorce* 53:00 Post-Divorce Financial Guidance: Building a New Team 55:00 The Post-Divorce Checklist Most People Miss 58:00 What Melissa Has Had to Unlearn in This Work 1:00:00 'Divorce Disruptors' — Changing the Landscape 1:01:30 Starting the Process: What to Know First 1:02:00 Melissa's Financial Clarity Package 1:03:30 A Note on Alimony Guidance 1:04:30 How to Find Melissa + Divorce by Design *Timestamp approximate — please adjust to actual video before publishing. ───────────────────────────────────── 🌿 ABOUT LESLIE & THE LOOM LIFE Leslie Mathews is a therapist, divorce coach, and host of Pulling Threads — a podcast about healing, personal growth, and the beautiful complexity of being human. Leslie specializes in supporting women navigating divorce through her Mindful Untangling community and THROUGH coaching program. 🌐 theloomlife.com 🌐 loomlifetherapy.com 🌐 leslieellenmathews.com 📸 Instagram: @the.loom.life #DivorceFinancialPlanning #MindfulDivorce #PullingThreads #DivorceRecovery #DivorceByDesign

When a friend gossips about your divorce or breakup, it's not just betrayal — it's trauma. Here's what the research says, and how to heal. 🔗 Work with Leslie: www.theloomlife.com There is a specific kind of pain that happens when you're going through the hardest thing in your life — a breakup, a divorce, infidelity — and the person you trusted to hold your story turns it into someone else's entertainment. This episode is personal. It's also one of the most important conversations we've had on Pulling Threads. Today Leslie — therapist, former attorney, coach, and founder of The Loom Life — unpacks why women gossip about each other during a crisis, what drives it neurologically and evolutionarily, and what it costs the person whose story is being shared. In this episode: The real definition of gossip — and the crucial line between healthy processing and harmful betrayal Why female connection is physiologically regulating (the UCLA tend-and-befriend study explained) The dopamine reward behind gossip and why it happens even without malicious intent Robin Dunbar's research on social grooming and what old wiring is doing to modern friendships What gossip does to your nervous system, your ability to trust, and your healing timeline Why betrayal by a friend during divorce can take longer to heal than the relationship itself What to do if you've been betrayed — and what to do if you've been the one who couldn't hold someone's story How Leslie used EMDR to process layered grief from both her divorce and a friend's betrayal Research cited: Dr. Brené Brown (trust and "hot gossip"), Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (betrayal trauma), Dr. Shelley Taylor (tend-and-befriend), Robin Dunbar (social grooming), Dr. Jennifer Freed (betrayal trauma), plus studies from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology and the Journal of Psychological Science. CHAPTERS: 00:00 The episode that had to wait 01:05 Welcome to Pulling Threads 02:00 Why this episode is personal to Leslie 03:30 Defining gossip — what it is and isn't 06:00 The test: who does the sharing serve? 07:00 Why women need each other (the neuroscience) 09:00 Why we gossip: evolutionary roots 10:30 The dopamine hit from sharing someone else's story 12:00 Emotional offloading: when people can't hold your pain 13:30 Relational aggression and competition in female friendships 14:30 What gossip does to the person on the receiving end 16:30 Betrayal trauma and your nervous system 18:00 Shame, isolation, and delayed healing 19:30 Why friend betrayal often outlasts the relationship itself 21:00 If you've been betrayed: what to know and what you're allowed to do 22:30 Learning discernment — what safe friendship actually looks like 24:00 Using EMDR to process layered loss 25:00 If you've been the one who gossiped 26:30 How to repair, reflect, and do better 29:00 Leslie's personal experience with gossip during her divorce 31:00 Closing: let's hold each other's stories as sacred Mindful Untangling (divorce support community): https://theloomlife.com/community THROUGH (8-week divorce coaching program): https://theloomlife.com/throughdivorceprogram www.loomlifetherapy.com 📩 [email protected] | theloomlife.com Keywords: women gossip psychology, gossip and betrayal trauma, friend betrayal during divorce, healing after divorce, female friendship and trust, betrayal trauma recovery, gossip during crisis, emotional healing after betrayal, divorce recovery support, tend and befriend stress response

What do you do when you need to talk — but you're not looking for advice, just to be heard? Erin Snow is a Professional Listener and founder of The Unmuted Room, a first-of-its-kind confidential listening space in Newington, New Hampshire — also available virtually. Most people have no truly neutral place to speak: friends have opinions, family is too close, therapy is clinical, coaching is goal-driven. The Unmuted Room fills that gap. Sessions are private, confidential, and completely uninterrupted. No diagnosis. No advice. No agenda. Just skilled, steady listening from someone with nowhere to be except present. Erin built this space after 17 years as a trauma-informed legal advocate for survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking — and after knowing personally what it costs to have nowhere safe to say what is true. In June 2024 she left her career of 16+ years, and by August she had opened The Unmuted Room. In this episode: - What professional listening is — and what it is NOT - Why being truly heard is harder to find than it should be - How it differs from therapy, coaching, and confiding in a friend - The problem with 'just leave' culture — and what to ask instead - Why divorce grief is ongoing (and why people stop asking) - Erin's own divorce story, reinvention, and the answer to: do you regret it? 00:00 Introduction & Welcome 02:00 Erin's Personal Story — Why Being Heard Matters 08:00 The Beach Moment That Started The Unmuted Room 09:00 17 Years as a Domestic Violence Legal Advocate 12:00 What Professional Listening Looks Like in Practice 15:00 How It Differs from Therapy, Coaching & Friends 18:00 Why This Kind of Space Hasn't Existed Until Now 22:00 What Sessions Are Like & Who Reaches Out 42:00 Divorce Grief & What People Don't Talk About 45:00 The Problem with 'Just Leave' Culture 49:00 What People Actually Need: Asking vs. Assuming 50:00 Grief Is Ongoing — Keep Showing Up 57:00 Erin's Own Divorce, Reinvention & No Regrets 1:01:00 How to Find Erin & Book a Free Consult Free 10-minute consult with Erin: https://theunmutedroom.com/contact Website: https://theunmutedroom.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.unmutedroom/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/the.unmutedroom LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erin-snow-237998334/ Pulling Threads is hosted by Leslie Mathews of The Loom Life. Subscribe for new episodes every week on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts. #PullingThreads #TheLoomLife #TheUnmutedRoom #ProfessionalListening #DivorceRecovery #MentalHealthPodcast #HealingPodcast #BeingHeard #DivorceSupport #WomensWellness

You expected grief. You expected rage. What you didn't expect was... nothing. In this episode, Leslie unpacks the science behind that strange, flat, disconnected feeling that so many women experience after betrayal and divorce — and why it's not emptiness, weakness, or avoidance. It's called dorsal vagal shutdown. And it might be the most protective thing your body has ever done for you. Learn what's happening in your nervous system, why it makes complete sense, and five gentle ways to begin finding your way back to yourself. You are not broken. You are protected. And you will feel again. The feeling of nothing has a name — and understanding it changes how you see yourself completely. When the threat is too large or too sustained, your nervous system doesn't always fight or fall apart. Sometimes it does something else entirely. It goes quiet. Flat. Still. And it does this not because something is wrong with you — but because something very right is happening inside your body. Polyvagal Theory & Your Three Nervous System States In this episode, Leslie introduces Polyvagal Theory — developed by neuroscientist Dr. Stephen Porges — and explains the three states your nervous system moves between: Safe & Social (Ventral Vagal) — your home state. Connection, clarity, calm. Fight or Flight (Sympathetic) — mobilization. Rage, panic, hypervigilance. Shutdown (Dorsal Vagal) — the freeze-and-collapse response. Feeling nothing. Feeling flat. Feeling like you're watching your life from somewhere outside of it. Dorsal Vagal Shutdown: What's Actually Happening The dorsal vagus nerve is the oldest part of your autonomic nervous system. When it activates — especially after sustained or unsurvivable-feeling threat — it conserves your energy by going into a kind of protective stillness. This is not depression. This is not avoidance. This is armor. Leslie walks through what shutdown looks and feels like — including the signs you might recognize in yourself — and offers the reframe that so many women in this season need to hear: you are not broken. You are protected. Five Ways to Begin the Thaw The path out of shutdown is not through forcing yourself to feel. It's through gently, consistently offering your nervous system the message that it is safe enough to open. Leslie shares five low-bar, no-performance-required practices: Name what's happening — without judgment Warmth and gentle movement One small pleasurable thing (pleasure as medicine, not betrayal) Co-regulation — borrowing safety from a regulated nervous system Releasing the timeline — healing on your body's schedule, not the world's A Special Note on Betrayal Trauma Shutdown after divorce is one experience. But shutdown after betrayal — an affair, a double life, a public new relationship before yours is legally over — carries a different weight. Betrayal trauma activates the same threat-response centers as physical danger, and each new piece of information (a social media post, a legal document, a mutual friend's comment) is a fresh activation. Leslie speaks directly to the women carrying both at once — with honesty about what this requires and what's possible. Resources Mentioned Free guide — When You Feel Nothing (PDF): https://theloomlife.com/whenyoufeelnothing Mindful Untangling Community: https://theloomlife.com The Loom Life Instagram: https://instagram.com/the.loom.life 0:00 Cold Open — A post that stopped me in my tracks 1:10 Welcome to The Loom Life 2:15 Part 1 — Naming what nobody names 4:45 Part 2 — Polyvagal Theory & your three nervous system states 9:30 Part 3 — What's actually happening inside your body 12:45 Part 4 — Five ways to begin the thaw 15:50 Part 5 — A special note on betrayal trauma 17:30 Closing — You will feel again 18:45 Resources & how to find us A Note on Sharing If this episode spoke to you, the greatest gift you can give is to share it with a woman you know who's in this season. You don't have to say anything. Just send it. Sometimes the most important thing is knowing someone else has put your experience into words. About The Loom Life The Loom Life is a community and coaching space for women navigating divorce — from the first conversation with a lawyer to the first morning they wake up and feel like themselves again. Founded by Leslie Mathews, The Loom Life is rooted in trauma-informed care, nervous system education, and the belief that rebuilding is not just possible — it's the beginning of the most authentic chapter of your life. Mindful Untangling is our ongoing community — $99/month — where women in every stage of the divorce journey come together for education, connection, and support. Join us: https://theloomlife.com Link to Free Guide: https://theloomlife.com/whenyoufeelnothing

Burnt out, stuck & scared to make a move? LCSW + Women’s Empowerment Coach Liz Bakshi gets real about mom burnout, self-doubt, and what it actually takes for professional mothers to stop putting themselves last. ✨ WORK WITH LIZ BAKSHI 📲 Instagram: @lizbakshicoaching 👥 Free Facebook Community for Working Moms: Facebook.com/groups/LizBakshiCoaching 📅 Book a Free Consult Call: https://calendly.com/liz-lizbakshicoaching/30min ABOUT THIS EPISODE Liz Bakshi knows the burnout spiral from the inside. She was directing a foster care program in New York City when COVID hit — her toddler on the other side of the door while she managed crisis after crisis. Her story of slow-building burnout, the fear of making a change, and ultimately building a coaching practice from her lived experience will resonate deeply with any woman who has ever felt like she was holding everything together for everyone — except herself. IN THIS EPISODE: 🔸 What burnout actually feels like from the inside — and why it builds slowly before it breaks open 🔸 What keeps working moms stuck: fear, negative self-talk & generational messages about "soldiering on" 🔸 Therapy vs. coaching — what’s the real difference, and how do you know which one you need? 🔸 Identity shifts that happen when you become a mother — and why we don’t talk about them enough 🔸 Real self-care for high-achieving women: micro habits that work (no bubble baths required) 🔸 Setting boundaries, asking for help, and why resentment builds when we don’t 🔸 The sandwich generation: navigating kids, aging parents, career — and still finding yourself 🔸 One small step you can take TODAY to start shifting things Whether you’re a working mom running on empty, a woman on the edge of a big career change, or someone who’s been whispering “someday” to herself for years — this conversation is for you. 🔗 FIND LESLIE & THE LOOM LIFE 🌐 Website: www.loomlife.com 📸 Instagram: @the.loom.life 🎵 TikTok: @leslieellenmathews If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a comment below, and share it with a woman who needs to hear it. ♥️ #WorkingMomBurnout #TherapistPodcast #WomensEmpowerment #MentalHealthPodcast #PullingThreads

What happens when you leave a covert narcissist — but the war doesn't end? In this episode of Pulling Threads, I sit down with Trish Michael, author, publisher, and creator of trauma-informed books and courses for families healing from narcissistic abuse and high conflict divorce. Trish spent 20 years married to a covert narcissist and has been navigating co-parenting, court battles, and financial recovery for the eight years since. She didn't write her books to sell them — she wrote them to help her own kids survive. They've now sold in the tens of thousands. In this deeply honest conversation, we talk about what it actually looks like to heal — for yourself and your children — when the abuse doesn't stop just because the relationship did. In this episode: How covert narcissists make you look like the problem — even in court The golden child, the scapegoat, and how abuse lands differently on each child Why you can't treat PTSD when you're still on the battlefield What really happens in courtrooms (and why victims are often misread) Weaponizing differentiation in teenagers — and how narcs use independence against you Financial abuse: how narcissists keep you broke through endless litigation What Trish's Financial Freedom After Narcissistic Abuse™ program covers How Trish found a healthy relationship — and what inner work made that possible Breaking generational cycles of abuse Connect with Trish Michael: 🌐 www.trishmichael.com 📸 Discount Code for Pulling Threads listeners! Pullingthreads10 www.instagram.com/iamtrishmichael 📘 www.facebook.com/thetrishmichael 📧 [email protected] Connect with me: 🌐 www.theloomlife.com 📸 @the.loom.life Resources & Links 🌿 The LooM Life https://www.theloomlife.com 🌿 LooM Life Therapy https://www.loomlifetherapy.com 📅 Book a support call https://www.theloomlife.com 📱 Follow for more conversations about relationships, trauma healing, and life transitions: Instagram 🌿/ the.loom.life 💛 If this episode helped you, please leave a 5-star review — it helps more people find this show. #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #HighConflictDivorce #HealingAfterNarcissisticAbuse #DivorceHealingJourney #TheLoomLife

Have you ever felt consumed by doubt about someone you love — and nothing happened to explain it? In this episode, I'm sharing something deeply personal: trust issues that surfaced out of nowhere, no trigger, no cause — just the feeling, growing louder. As a therapist and someone who has done years of her own healing work, I know how disorienting this can be. Because here's the question that changes everything: Is this your intuition telling you something true — or is it an old wound asking to be seen? In this video, I walk you through: → Why intuition and trauma response feel almost identical (the neuroscience) → 4 questions to help you tell the difference — including one most people never ask → How generational trauma shows up as doubt in your closest relationships → The real trust question underneath it all: do you trust yourself? → Why self-doubt surfaces exactly when abundance is trying to reach you → Somatic tools to regulate before you interpret This episode is for you if you have a history of trust wounds from past relationships or childhood, you're building something meaningful and keep finding yourself distracted by doubt, you struggle to receive love, money, or opportunity without bracing for it to disappear, or you've ever wondered whether your gut feeling was wisdom — or fear wearing a new costume. RESOURCES & LINKS To Work with Leslie: → Book a Free Discovery Call: https://theloomlife.com/discovery-call?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=youtube&utm_content=the-ghost-in-the-room-intuition-vs-old-wound → Visit The LooM Life: https://www.theloomlife.com → Visit LooM Life Therapy: https://www.loomlifetherapy.com ⏱ CHAPTERS 0:00 — When the doubt has no reason 2:15 — Why intuition and trauma feel the same (neuroscience) 6:00 — 4 questions to tell the difference 11:30 — What we inherited: generational trauma and the patterns we came here to break 15:00 — The real trust question underneath it all 19:00 — When self-doubt blocks abundance 21:30 — Somatic tools: regulate before you interpret 22:30 — Closing reflection LET'S CONNECT If this landed somewhere real for you, leave a comment below. I read every one. → Instagram: @the.loom.life → Substack: [INSERT LINK] ABOUT THE LOOM LIFE The LooM Life is a coaching and support space for women navigating divorce, breakup, and major life transitions. Our work is rooted in mindfulness, somatic healing, attachment theory, and the belief that clarity, peace, and abundance are not things you earn — they are things you remember. #intuitionvstrauma #trustissues #healingjourney #divorcerecovery #selftrustcoach #generationaltrauma #abundancemindset #traumahealing #somatichealing #womenhealing #attachmenttheory #innerchild #theloomlife #pullingthreads

Divorce trauma, family court, and emotional abuse are deeply connected — but almost no one prepares women for what actually happens inside the family court system. In this episode of Pulling Threads, therapist and divorce support specialist Leslie Mathews explains why many women leaving emotionally abusive marriages experience new trauma during divorce proceedings and what they can do to protect themselves emotionally, mentally, and legally. If you are navigating high-conflict divorce, coercive control, litigation abuse, or family court after emotional abuse, this episode will help you understand what is happening in your nervous system and how to prepare for one of the most stressful processes of your life. Leslie breaks down the science of trauma responses during divorce, the ways the family court system can unintentionally retraumatize survivors, and the strategies that help women stay regulated, clear-thinking, and prepared when navigating custody disputes, legal proceedings, and high-conflict ex-partners. You’ll also learn why understanding coercive control, nervous system regulation, documentation, and trauma-informed support can dramatically change your experience in divorce court. This conversation is honest, validating, and empowering — especially for women who feel overwhelmed, unheard, or retraumatized by the legal system. Resources & Links 🌿 The LooM Life https://www.theloomlife.com 🌿 LooM Life Therapy https://www.loomlifetherapy.com 📅 Book a support call https://www.theloomlife.com 📱 Follow for more conversations about relationships, trauma healing, and life transitions: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the.loom.life #divorcesupport #emotionalabuse #highconflictdivorce #divorcerecovery #traumahealing

Turning 50 reflections on healing, divorce, mindfulness, and rebuilding life after losing yourself. In this special birthday episode of Pulling Threads, I’m sharing a deeply personal reflection as I step into my 50s. Over the last decade, my life completely transformed. Divorce, therapy, EMDR, mindfulness, and profound personal healing reshaped the way I understand relationships, identity, and what it means to truly live authentically. Ten years ago, I barely recognized the woman I had become. I had stepped away from my career, was navigating a difficult marriage, and felt disconnected from myself. My 40s became the decade where the fog slowly lifted and I began pulling the threads of my story apart to understand what was really driving my life. In this episode, I answer questions many women ask about divorce, healing trauma, mindfulness, relationships, and rediscovering your authentic self. I talk openly about staying in a marriage for 15 years, how childhood wounds can shape our adult relationships, and how mindfulness-based stress reduction helped me change my relationship with emotions, conflict, and love. If you’re navigating divorce, personal reinvention, or wondering whether it’s too late to rewrite your life story, this conversation is for you. Because healing doesn’t mean your past disappears. It means your past stops running your life. Turning 50_ Rewriting My Story … ⏱️ Chapters 00:00 Introduction – A different kind of episode 02:00 Losing myself in my 30s & early 40s 05:00 The moment I realized I wasn’t living authentically 09:00 Photography, presence, and discovering mindfulness 11:00 The retreat that changed everything 14:00 Why I stayed in my marriage for 15 years 20:00 Childhood wounds and attachment patterns 27:00 The unexpected heartbreak of divorce friendships 29:00 How mindfulness-based stress reduction changed my life 33:00 What I learned about love after divorce 38:00 Why I’m not afraid of turning 50 43:00 The biggest lesson from my 40s 🌿 About Pulling Threads Pulling Threads is a podcast about healing, authenticity, relationships, trauma recovery, and personal transformation. Each episode explores the emotional and psychological patterns that shape our lives so we can untangle what’s holding us back and create something new. Hosted by therapist and mindfulness practitioner Leslie Mathews, founder of The LooM Life. 🔗 Resources & Links 🌿 The LooM Life https://www.theloomlife.com 🌿 LooM Life Therapy https://loomlifetherapy.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/the.loom.life ❤️ If this episode resonated • Subscribe for weekly conversations on healing and relationships • Share this episode with someone who needs it • Comment below: What did your 40s teach you?

Nervous system regulation, co-regulation, and the window of tolerance aren’t just therapy buzzwords. They shape how we parent, partner, teach, and show up in conflict every single day. In this powerful episode of Pulling Threads, I sit down with Rosanne Carter, LMFT, Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health Therapist and nervous system consultant, to explore how our nervous systems narrate our lives before we even realize it. We discuss: • What co-regulation actually means and what it doesn’t • Why your body reacts before your brain can think • The difference between being “triggered” and being activated • The window of tolerance, developed by Dr. Dan Siegel, explained clearly • Fawning vs. people-pleasing • Burnout in therapists, teachers, and attorneys • Sacred rage and setting boundaries after emotional immaturity • How to regulate yourself in the courtroom, classroom, or kitchen • A simple vagus nerve technique you can use immediately This conversation is especially relevant for: ✔ Therapists and helping professionals ✔ Parents navigating big emotions ✔ Women healing after divorce ✔ Teachers and attorneys experiencing burnout ✔ Anyone wanting to better understand trauma, activation, and emotional regulation Your nervous system holds stories, and when you learn to listen, everything shifts. 🔗 Connect with Rosanne Carter 🌐 www.kavana-consulting.com 🌐 www.rosannecartercoaching.com 💼 Rosanne Carter 📸 @msrosannecarter 🔗 Connect with Leslie Mathews and The LooM Life 🌿 The LooM Life (Coaching): https://www.theloomlife.com 🧠 Loom Life Therapy: www.loomlifetherapy.com 📸 Instagram: @the.loom.life 🎙 Podcast: Pulling Threads #DivorceRecovery #NervousSystemHealing #EmotionalRegulation #TraumaInformed #WomenHealing

If you’ve ever loved an avoidant man and felt confused, anxious, or emotionally exhausted, this episode is for you. In today’s deep dive into avoidant attachment, we unpack attachment theory, the anxious-avoidant dynamic, and what actually happens inside the nervous system when closeness triggers withdrawal. This is not a “fix him” episode — it’s about understanding attachment styles so you can make empowered, secure decisions in love. I break down the difference between dismissive avoidant vs. fearful avoidant attachment, why secure and anxious women are often magnetically drawn to avoidant partners, and how the push-pull cycle keeps repeating. You’ll also learn practical tools for navigating avoidant attachment dynamics without abandoning yourself. If you’re navigating anxious attachment, avoidant attachment in relationships, or wondering whether to stay or walk away, this conversation will give you clarity and grounded perspective. If you want deeper support around attachment, divorce recovery, relational healing, or nervous system regulation: 🌿 The LooM Life (Coaching & Courses): https://www.theloomlife.com 🧠 Loom Life Therapy (Florida residents): https://www.loomlifetherapy.com 📲 Instagram: @the.loom.life 🎙 Subscribe to Pulling Threads for weekly conversations on attachment, trauma-informed relationships, and mindful healing. If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share with someone who needs language for what they’re feeling. #AvoidantAttachment #AttachmentTheory #AnxiousAvoidant #SecureAttachment #TheLoomLife

In this impromptu Valentine’s Day episode of Pulling Threads, I answer real relationship questions about attachment styles, commitment fears, love languages, anxious–avoidant dynamics, and even astrology compatibility Valentine’s Day Relationship Q&… . As a therapist, coach, and someone who has personally navigated divorce and attachment healing, I respond alongside insight from a male transformational coach offering the “reformed player” perspective. We explore why people push love away when they want it, how anxious and avoidant partners can actually make it work, when to walk away from a situationship, and how nervous system regulation changes everything in modern dating. If you’ve ever felt stuck in relationship limbo or confused about your attachment patterns, this episode is for you. ⏱ Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 Intro – Surprise Valentine’s Day Q&A 02:30 Why Do I Push People Away? (Avoidant Attachment) 08:45 Love Languages Conflict – Quality Time vs Physical Touch 14:10 Astrology Compatibility – Should You Trust It? 20:05 How Long Is Too Long to Wait for Commitment? 26:45 Is Anxious + Avoidant a Death Sentence? 34:00 Final Thoughts on Healing & Secure Attachment 🌿 Resources & Links ✨ The LooM Life (Coaching & Courses): https://www.theloomlife.com 🧠 LooM Life Therapy (Therapy Services): https://www.loomlifetherapy.com 🎙 Follow Pulling Threads: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.loom.life

Why does life look fine on the outside but feel overwhelming on the inside? In this episode of Pulling Threads, Leslie sits down with psychotherapist Maris Pasquale Doran to explore emotional reactivity, nervous system regulation, mindfulness, midlife transitions, grief, identity loss, and the quiet exhaustion so many women carry during divorce, separation, and major life change. This conversation speaks directly to women navigating divorce recovery, considering separation, or feeling disconnected in long term marriage. Even when there is no crisis happening, the body can stay in fight or flight. The nervous system holds unprocessed grief, suppressed anger, role collision, and identity confusion. Together they unpack: • Why high functioning women feel anxious and reactive even when life looks stable • How nervous system dysregulation impacts relationships and decision making • The hidden grief of midlife, motherhood, aging, and divorce • Why perimenopause is not the whole story • How mindfulness based stress reduction supports emotional regulation • How to shift from survival mode to grounded presence • The power of pause, breathwork, and body awareness • Breaking people pleasing patterns in marriage and relationships • Moving from reactivity to conscious response If divorce feels terrifying, if the marriage feels suffocating, if identity feels lost, this episode offers grounded psychological insight and practical nervous system tools for women seeking clarity, confidence, and emotional stability. This is for the woman lying awake at 2 AM questioning everything. The woman who looks strong on the outside but feels untethered within. The woman who wants peace without blowing up her life impulsively. Mindfulness, emotional awareness, and nervous system regulation are not luxury practices. They are survival skills during divorce and major life transitions. Healing begins with awareness.🤍 I trained in the official MBSR lineage at Brown University, continuing the work of Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the original MBSR program at UMass Medical Center. And now I’m bringing this transformative framework to women navigating divorce, separation, heartbreak, and reinvention. 🧡 JOIN THE UPCOMING MBSR GROUP Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction for Women Navigating Separation, Divorce & Breakups Where neuroscience meets self-compassion to help you regulate, rebuild, and rise. 📅 Starts late January 🌐 Virtual (Florida-based, open to all women) #DivorceRecovery #NervousSystemRegulation #MindfulnessForWomen #MidlifeTransformation #HealingAfterDivorce

Reclaiming Your Voice: Healing Silence After Trauma, Criticism, and Emotional Harm What if you’re not afraid to speak up — but afraid of what happened when you did? In this episode of Pulling Threads, therapist, former attorney, and mindfulness teacher Leslie Mathews explores why so many thoughtful, capable people struggle to use their voice — even when they know their ideas matter. This isn’t about public speaking tips or “just being brave.” It’s about how silence becomes a survival strategy when speaking up once led to ridicule, punishment, emotional withdrawal, or subtle psychological harm. Drawing from personal experience, trauma-informed psychology, nervous system regulation, and years of therapeutic work, Leslie unpacks: How people lose their voice over time Why the body reacts before the mind How relationships and family dynamics reinforce silence What reclaiming your voice actually takes — layer by layer If you’ve ever: Tightened up when trying to speak your truth Second-guessed your words in certain relationships Felt “too much,” not articulate enough, or quietly dismissed Gone silent to keep the peace This conversation is for you. Reclaiming your voice is not about becoming louder. It’s about becoming safer inside yourself. ⏱️ Episode Timestamps 00:00 – Why courage isn’t enough to reclaim your voice 01:00 – When speaking up once led to punishment or ridicule 02:00 – The deeper fear behind silence 03:00 – Growing up outspoken — and learning it wasn’t safe 04:00 – Mockery, sarcasm, and being “too much” 05:00 – Losing confidence after early performance experiences 06:00 – Subtle put-downs in intimate relationships 07:00 – Intelligence comparisons and self-monitoring speech 08:00 – From neuroscience to law: how self-doubt redirects lives 09:00 – How people actually lose their voice 10:00 – Silence as a learned nervous system response 11:00 – Trauma responses: tight throat, stammering, going blank 12:00 – Gender, power, and social penalties for speaking up 13:00 – Psychological harm in “quiet” relationships 14:00 – Awareness: recognizing where silence was learned 15:00 – Grieving the years you stayed small 16:00 – Your ideas aren’t gone — they’re waiting 17:00 – Experimenting with safer spaces to speak 18:00 – Therapy, coaching, and community support 19:00 – Regulation: staying present in your body 20:00 – Finding environments where your voice is welcomed 21:00 – Rebuilding self-trust 22:00 – When fear stops controlling you 23:00 – Teaching the nervous system it’s safe now 24:00 – Speaking without apology or performance 25:00 – Living authentically after silence 26:00 – Support, rebuilding, and next steps 27:00 – Closing reflections & invitation 🔗 Connect With Me Website: https://www.theloomlife.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theloomlife Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theloomlife Therapy Practice: Loom Life Therapy If this episode resonated, consider sharing it with someone who has gone quiet — not because they had nothing to say, but because it once wasn’t safe.

This conversation explores why love can feel overwhelming, painful, or confusing, especially for capable, intelligent women who appear put together on the outside but feel anxious or depleted in their relationships. Leslie sits down with Stephanie McPhail to unpack the subtle dynamics of toxic relationships, trauma bonding, and the unconscious patterns that keep people stuck long after they know something isn’t right. Together, they explore how early conditioning shapes what “love” feels like in the body, why intensity is often mistaken for intimacy, and how calm can feel unfamiliar or even unsafe after years of emotional chaos. Stephanie shares her personal story of surviving a long-term toxic marriage and the profound internal shifts that allowed her to rebuild her life, heal her nervous system, and create a relationship rooted in safety and mutual respect. This episode speaks directly to women who question their judgment, carry quiet shame, or feel torn between what they know logically and what their body feels emotionally. This is not about blame or labels. It’s about awareness, compassion, and learning to listen to yourself again so love no longer feels like something you have to survive. I trained in the official MBSR lineage at Brown University, continuing the work of Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the original MBSR program at UMass Medical Center. And now I’m bringing this transformative framework to women navigating divorce, separation, heartbreak, and reinvention. 🧡 JOIN THE UPCOMING MBSR GROUP Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction for Women Navigating Separation, Divorce & Breakups Where neuroscience meets self-compassion to help you regulate, rebuild, and rise. 📅 Starts late January 🌐 Virtual (Florida-based, open to all women) #ToxicRelationshipHealing #TraumaBondRecovery #EmotionalSafety #RelationshipPatterns #HealingAfterAbuse

The Good Girl Syndrome Unraveled | People Pleasing, Trauma, and Reclaiming Your Authentic Self Have you ever said yes when every part of your body was screaming no? Do you apologize reflexively, avoid conflict at all costs, or feel responsible for everyone else’s comfort—while quietly burning out? In this episode of Pulling Threads, host Leslie Mathews unravels Good Girl Syndrome—the deeply ingrained pattern of people pleasing, perfectionism, and self-abandonment that so many women carry without realizing it. This episode explores: What Good Girl Syndrome really is (and why it’s not a personality flaw) The neuroscience behind people pleasing and why setting boundaries can feel unsafe How conditional love and early socialization wire this pattern into the nervous system The physical and emotional toll of chronic self-abandonment (anxiety, burnout, exhaustion) Why being “nice” often blocks real intimacy and authenticity Signs you may be living behind the mask of perfection How awareness begins to rewire the brain Gentle, neuroscience-backed steps to start reclaiming your voice, needs, and boundaries Through trauma-informed insight, attachment theory, polyvagal theory, and lived experience, Leslie explains why disappointing others can trigger the same fear response as physical danger—and how learning to pause, name the pattern, and practice self-compassion creates real change. This episode is for you if: You struggle with people pleasing or setting boundaries You feel exhausted but can’t pinpoint why You’ve lost touch with who you are outside of being “the helper” You’re healing from trauma, burnout, or relational over-functioning You’re ready to stop performing and start living authentically The “good girl” once kept you safe. She doesn’t have to run your life anymore. 🎧 Listen now and start pulling the thread that leads back to yourself. Connect with Leslie / The LooM Life 🌿 Website: https://www.theloomlife.com 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pulling-threads-weaving-authenticity/id1805667549 📸 Instagram: @theloomlife and @loomlifetherapy 📘 Facebook: The LooM Life 📺 YouTube: Pulling Threads with Leslie Mathews If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share it with a woman who needs permission to choose herself. You’re not broken. You’re waking up. 💛

Divorce doesn’t just change your schedule, it activates your nervous system, your old conditioning, and the parts of you that learned to survive conflict. In this conversation, Leslie and parenting coach Mackenzie Kinmond unpack what happens to you (and your kids) when co-parenting brings up grief, anger, guilt, and the urge to control what you can’t control. You’ll hear real, compassionate guidance on: How divorce amplifies people-pleasing, perfectionism, over functioning, and self-sacrifice The difference between validating your child’s feelings and letting emotions run the house How to talk about an inconsistent co-parent without shaming your child’s experience Why kids form “stories” about divorce (and how to help them build a healthier narrative) Nervous system tools for high-conflict co-parenting—before, during, and after hard moments How to offer steadiness without pretending you’re “fine” If you’re parenting through divorce and trying to stay grounded, present, and emotionally safe for your kids—this episode will help you step out of survival mode and lead with calm authority and grace. I trained in the official MBSR lineage at Brown University, continuing the work of Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the original MBSR program at UMass Medical Center. And now I’m bringing this transformative framework to women navigating divorce, separation, heartbreak, and reinvention. 🧡 JOIN THE UPCOMING MBSR GROUP Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction for Women Navigating Separation, Divorce & Breakups Where neuroscience meets self-compassion to help you regulate, rebuild, and rise. 📅 Starts late January 🌐 Virtual (Florida-based, open to all women) #DivorceParenting #CoParenting #HighConflictCoParenting #ParentingAfterDivorce #EmotionalRegulation

If you’re a therapist or coach who wants to start a podcast but keeps putting it off, this episode is for you. I’m breaking down the six biggest fears that stop helping professionals from pressing record — and gently debunking each one. In this episode, I’m not talking about microphones, editing software, or going viral. I’m talking about the real reasons therapists and coaches hesitate to use their voice publicly — fear of being seen, imposter syndrome, time, tech overwhelm, decision paralysis, and the quiet worry that no one will listen. As a therapist, coach, and host of the Pulling Threads podcast, I waited a long time to start my own show. What finally helped wasn’t more research — it was understanding what was actually holding me back and taking one small step at a time. If podcasting has been on your heart but something keeps stopping you, this conversation is meant to help you feel calmer, clearer, and more capable. In this episode, we cover: Why procrastination around podcasting is often protective, not laziness The truth about imposter syndrome for therapists and coaches Fear of visibility, judgment, and being misunderstood Why “I don’t have time” doesn’t mean what you think it means How consistency can look different (and still work) Why technology is no longer the barrier it used to be Decision paralysis around naming, format, and where to start The fear no one talks about: What if no one listens? Why podcasts aren’t about going viral — they’re about resonance How a podcast can support your practice, visibility, and referrals Who this is for: ✔ Therapists ✔ Coaches ✔ Helping professionals ✔ Anyone who’s thought “I want to start a podcast… but” About Press Record For more information about the cohort, go to https://theloomlife.com/podcast-course I created Press Record, a live 6-week cohort for therapists and coaches who want to launch a podcast together — with structure, support, and real accountability. The cohort includes: Weekly live meetings Step-by-step video lessons Marketing & YouTube templates AI tools to simplify editing and content A private community of therapists & coaches launching together If this episode helped your nervous system soften or your fear feel more manageable, that may be your cue. 👉 Learn more about Press Record: [ADD LINK] About Me I’m Leslie Mathews — therapist, coach, and host of the Pulling Threads podcast. I help therapists, coaches, and women in transition use their voice, untangle fear, and build aligned, sustainable paths forward. 🎙 Subscribe for more conversations on authenticity, visibility, nervous system regulation, and meaningful work.

In this episode of Pulling Threads, we explore the quiet unraveling that can happen inside a high-control marriage: the identity loss, the normalization of pain, the body symptoms that show up long before the mind is ready to listen. This is a deeply honest, unscripted conversation about staying because it “wasn’t that bad,” enduring for faith, vows, and children, and the moment validation finally breaks through the fog. We talk about how the nervous system holds truth, how faith can become complicated inside marriage, and what it looks like to surrender without losing yourself. You’ll hear reflections on rebuilding after separation, co-parenting with boundaries, trauma healing, mindfulness, EMDR, and the surprising peace that can come on the other side—especially learning to be alone without feeling lonely. This conversation is for anyone who feels high-functioning but exhausted, capable but disconnected, faithful but conflicted, and quietly wondering if there is more peace available than the life they’re currently enduring. I trained in the official MBSR lineage at Brown University, continuing the work of Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the original MBSR program at UMass Medical Center. And now I’m bringing this transformative framework to women navigating divorce, separation, heartbreak, and reinvention. 🧡 JOIN THE UPCOMING MBSR GROUP Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction for Women Navigating Separation, Divorce & Breakups Where neuroscience meets self-compassion to help you regulate, rebuild, and rise. 📅 Starts late January 🌐 Virtual (Florida-based, open to all women) #DivorceRecovery #LifeAfterDivorce #DivorceHealing #CoParenting #NervousSystemHealing

What we are experiencing right now—as a country, as communities, and as individuals—is not normal. And your body knows it. In this episode of Pulling Threads, Leslie Mathews speaks directly to the collective nervous system response many of us are feeling but struggling to name. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, distracted, angry, numb, tearful, or constantly on edge, this conversation offers language, validation, and practical support grounded in trauma-informed neuroscience. We explore what trauma researchers call Continuous Traumatic Stress—a state where the nervous system never gets a chance to complete the stress cycle because threat keeps coming. Leslie also names and explains moral injury, vicarious trauma, and anticipatory trauma, helping listeners understand why so many people feel exhausted, divided, and disconnected right now. This episode is not about politics or sides. It’s about what prolonged stress does to the human nervous system—and how trauma responses like fight, flight, freeze, and fawn can quietly fracture relationships, communities, and our ability to see one another clearly. You’ll learn: Why what you’re feeling is a normal human response to ongoing threat How continuous traumatic stress differs from PTSD What moral injury feels like in the body Why trauma increases division—even among people who care deeply How helplessness forms when systems themselves cause harm Trauma-informed tools to support nervous system regulation right now Leslie also offers practical regulation strategies, including: Pendulation and healthy boundaries with news and media Somatic release to complete the stress cycle Co-regulation and the power of presence Grounding practices for moments of overwhelm Finding small, aligned actions that restore agency This episode is a space to pause, breathe, and remember that your nervous system is not broken—it is trying to protect you. Healing and resilience don’t come from bypassing what’s happening, but from staying regulated enough to remain connected, compassionate, and human. If you’ve been feeling like something is deeply off, you’re not alone—and you’re not imagining it. Keywords / SEO tags: nervous system regulation, collective trauma, continuous traumatic stress, moral injury explained, vicarious trauma, anticipatory trauma, trauma informed podcast, mindfulness and trauma, somatic regulation, trauma and the nervous system, grounding techniques, emotional regulation, stress cycle, co regulation, healing during uncertain times Connect with Leslie & The LooM: 🌿 Website: https://www.theloomlife.com 🎙️ Podcast: Pulling Threads 📸 Instagram (Coaching & Content): @the.loom.life 🧠 Instagram (Therapy): @loomlifetherapy 🎥 YouTube: Pulling Threads 🎵 TikTok: @parandpeace If this episode supported you, please consider liking, subscribing, and sharing it with someone who might need it. Gentle conversations create ripples—and we move through this together.

In this episode of Pulling Threads, Leslie sits down with Courtney Carter for an intimate conversation about what happens when you grow up in a small town and later realize you’ve been postponing your voice. They talk about the unspoken rules many of us learned early: stay agreeable, don’t take up too much space, don’t say the dream out loud, don’t make anyone uncomfortable. And then adulthood arrives and something shifts. You move. You leave. You enter new rooms. You start seeing how much of your personality was protection. Courtney shares what it was like navigating identity as a biracial girl in a small, isolated environment, how stereotypes and expectations shape self-expression, and why boundaries can feel terrifying when you were trained to keep the peace. Together, they explore people-pleasing, perfectionism, communication, and the slow return to self-trust. If you’ve ever felt like you edited yourself to fit in, this one is for you.💛 I trained in the official MBSR lineage at Brown University, continuing the work of Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the original MBSR program at UMass Medical Center. And now I’m bringing this transformative framework to women navigating divorce, separation, heartbreak, and reinvention. 🧡 JOIN THE UPCOMING MBSR GROUP Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction for Women Navigating Separation, Divorce & Breakups Where neuroscience meets self-compassion to help you regulate, rebuild, and rise. 📅 Starts late January 🌐 Virtual (Florida-based, open to all women) #Boundaries #SelfTrust #Mindfulness #AuthenticLiving #NervousSystemRegulation

What if your divorce isn’t the end—but the beginning of your most aligned life? In this episode, I sit down with Amber Shaw, host of The Divorce Revolution Podcast and business coach for divorced women, for an honest conversation about turning pain into purpose, rebuilding confidence, and creating a business rooted in lived experience. Amber opens up about navigating the end of her marriage at 40, building her first online business while still working full-time, and how mentorship helped her scale to six figures—twice. We talk candidly about the real challenges divorced moms face, including time constraints, financial pressure, and the fear of getting it wrong when the stakes feel high. We also explore what it really means to “stay in your lane” as a coach, how to share your story without oversharing or creating conflict, and why authenticity—not perfection—is what truly attracts the right clients. Whether you’re considering divorce, in the middle of it, or rebuilding life and income on the other side, this conversation will help you reconnect with your confidence, clarity, and sense of identity. In this episode, you’ll hear about: Reframing divorce as a catalyst for reinvention Low-risk ways to start a coaching side hustle How mentorship shortens the learning curve and builds confidence Moving through fear and freeze with both courage and compassion Sharing your story safely while protecting your kids and peace The difference between therapy and coaching and why scope matters Knowing when to delegate so you can focus on what you do best Why you don’t need to be fully healed to help others—just a few steps ahead This episode is for women ready to stop waiting for permission and start building what’s next. I trained in the official MBSR lineage at Brown University, continuing the work of Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the original MBSR program at UMass Medical Center. And now I’m bringing this transformative framework to women navigating divorce, separation, heartbreak, and reinvention. 🧡 JOIN THE UPCOMING MBSR GROUP Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction for Women Navigating Separation, Divorce & Breakups Where neuroscience meets self-compassion to help you regulate, rebuild, and rise. 📅 Starts late January 🌐 Virtual (Florida-based, open to all women) If you're NOT navigating divorce but are interested in another MBSR group, send me a message on Instagram! I’m exploring a second February cohort. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.loom.life?igsh=ZHl3Nm1ibWd4dm1w Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/19bKH1AGZ9/ #DivorceRecovery #WomenRebuilding #LifeAfterDivorce #PurposeDrivenBusiness #WomenSupportingWomen

Parenting can feel surprisingly hard, even when you love your kids deeply. In this episode of Pulling Threads, we talk about parental burnout, old conditioning, and the internal patterns that can quietly run in the background and drain your energy. I’m joined by Mackenzie Kinmond, a parenthood transformation coach and therapist who helps overwhelmed parents step out of survival mode and reconnect with daily joy. Together, we explore why your nervous system can react before your thinking brain has a chance to catch up, why certain ages and stages can activate old wounds, and how burnout is often less about “trying harder” and more about shifting what you’re carrying. We also talk about the “Four Horsemen” that show up in everyday parenting: people pleasing, perfectionism, over functioning, and self sacrifice. If you’ve been feeling exhausted, reactive, or disconnected from the parent you want to be, this conversation offers a compassionate path forward, with practical ways to start making small, doable changes that create real relief over time. In this episode, we cover: Why parenting can activate trauma at specific ages and stages Nervous system regulation and embodiment in real life parenting moments Blocked care, burnout, and why shame fuels dysregulation Repair after conflict and why it strengthens secure attachment Micro shifts, boundaries, and creating structure that lowers stress How to move from survival mode toward presence, clarity, and authenticity You can also listen to Pulling Threads on my podcast and watch on YouTube. I trained in the official MBSR lineage at Brown University, continuing the work of Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the original MBSR program at UMass Medical Center. And now I’m bringing this transformative framework to women navigating divorce, separation, heartbreak, and reinvention. 🧡 JOIN THE UPCOMING MBSR GROUP Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction for Women Navigating Separation, Divorce & Breakups Where neuroscience meets self-compassion to help you regulate, rebuild, and rise. 📅 Starts late January 🌐 Virtual (Florida-based, open to all women) #ParentalBurnout #MindfulParenting #NervousSystemRegulation #EmotionalRegulation #ConsciousParenting

Welcome to the first episode of Authentic by Design, a transformative series about discovering your true self, reclaiming your life, and stepping off autopilot. If you’ve ever felt like you’re watching life happen to someone else, like life isn’t really yours, or like you’re aged-ahead while still waiting to feel alive, you’re in the right place. In this episode, I share a moment of awakening — sitting in my car in a Tampa parking garage, realizing the job, marriage, and identity I’d built wasn’t mine. I explore how we abandon ourselves to fit in, perform, succeed, and survive — and why that creates misalignment even at the height of achievement. 👉 If you’ve ever thought, “On paper my life looks great — but I don’t feel it inside” — this episode is for you. 🧠 In This Episode You’ll Learn: ✔ What it feels like when you’re living someone else’s life ✔ How childhood, culture, school, and social systems shape inauthentic paths ✔ The myth of success = happiness ✔ Why the “Sunday Scaries” may actually be your body telling you something is off ✔ How your nervous system signals misalignment ✔ A powerful invitation to listen to your body & inner knowing ✔ A roadmap for the rest of this 4-part series on authentic living 📍 Chapters / Timestamps 0:00 — Episode Intro: Awakening in Tampa 2:15 — What It Feels Like to Live a Life That’s Not Yours 5:40 — Why Achievement Doesn’t Always Equal Alignment 9:20 — Authenticity vs Performance (Therapy, Career, Culture) 12:55 — The Sunday Scaries: A Hidden Alarm System 15:42 — Invitation: Listening to Your Body 18:10 — Where Inauthenticity Begins — Childhood & Conditioning 23:00 — Systems That Teach Us to Abandon Ourselves 26:35 — People Most Susceptible to Losing Themselves 29:50 — The Four Pathways to Awakening 34:15 — Physical & Emotional Signs You’re Off-Course 39:40 — How to Know You’re Ready to Come Back 42:10 — Your First Invitation Toward Alignment 45:00 — Closing + What’s Coming Next in the Series ❤️ If This Resonated With You ✨ Subscribe so you don’t miss Episode 2 — where we dig into nervous system science + practical steps for returning to YOUR voice. 💬 Comment: What did you feel when you asked your body if you’re living your life? 👍 Like & Share with someone who needs to hear this. 🔗 Connect With Me 👉 Subscribe for all episodes & updates 👉 Follow on IG/TikTok for clips & reflections 👉 Join the conversation in the comments

What if peace isn’t something you find, but something you expand into? In Part 2 of this powerful Pulling Threads conversation, host Leslie Matthews continues her deeply honest and expansive dialogue with Liza Lounsbury, exploring what it truly means to outgrow old identities, regulate the nervous system, and rebuild life from the inside out. This episode dives into the uncomfortable but transformative seasons of life—identity loss, reinvention, grief, sobriety, divorce, and rebuilding after everything you thought your life would be falls apart. Together, Leslie and Liza unpack how subconscious programming, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and unprocessed trauma shape our reality—and how conscious awareness allows us to create something entirely new. You’ll hear a grounded, compassionate exploration of: Why your comfort zone determines your capacity for peace How identity shifts impact manifestation and aligned living Nervous system regulation as the foundation for resilience and abundance Letting go of labels like “divorced,” “addict,” or “failure” Processing grief, anger, and fear without resistance Living consciously instead of reacting on autopilot Creating inner safety regardless of external chaos Why embodiment, presence, and awareness change everything—from relationships to intimacy This episode is especially resonant for women navigating divorce, separation, sobriety, motherhood, burnout, or major life transitions. It’s an invitation to step out of survival mode and into conscious creation, self-trust, and emotional freedom. If you’re entering a new season, questioning who you are becoming, or learning how to live with more peace, clarity, and alignment—this conversation will meet you right where you are. ✨ A reminder: you are not broken, behind, or failing. You are evolving. I trained in the official MBSR lineage at Brown University, continuing the work of Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the original MBSR program at UMass Medical Center. And now I’m bringing this transformative framework to women navigating divorce, separation, heartbreak, and reinvention. 🧡 JOIN THE UPCOMING MBSR GROUP Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction for Women Navigating Separation, Divorce & Breakups Where neuroscience meets self-compassion to help you regulate, rebuild, and rise. 📅 Starts late January 🌐 Virtual (Florida-based, open to all women) #HealingAfterDivorce #NervousSystemRegulation #MindfulnessForWomen #IdentityShifts #AlignedLife

✨ Endings, Beginnings, and Everything In-Between | Reflecting on 2025 & Welcoming 2026 As 2025 comes to a close, many of us feel a mix of exhaustion, gratitude, and quiet hope. In this episode of Pulling Threads, host Leslie Mathews—therapist, coach, and mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) teacher—dives deep into the emotions that surface at the end of a long year. We talk about what it means to release old versions of ourselves, honor the grief beneath “growth,” and find softer ways to begin again. If you’re tired of the “new year, new you” pressure and craving peace, reflection, and authenticity instead—this episode is for you. 🪶 In this episode: Why endings feel heavier this year (from a neuroscience & nervous-system lens) How astrology and human design mirror this collective shift Letting go of old identities & patterns that no longer fit The truth about “healing hustle” and toxic positivity Gentle reflection prompts to close your year with grace Why slowing down is the most radical form of self-care 💬 “You’re allowed to arrive slowly. You’re allowed to hope, even if it’s quiet.” 🌿 Connect with Leslie Mathews & The LooM Life: 🧵 Website: www.theloomlife.com 📸 Instagram (Coaching): @the.loom.life 💭 Instagram (Therapy): @loomlifetherapy 🎙️ Podcast: Pulling Threads on Apple Podcasts & Spotify 📹 YouTube: Pulling Threads Channel 📱 TikTok: @the.loom.life 📘 Facebook: The LooM Life