Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse: Seth Gehle's Story

A gentle note before you dive in: this conversation touches on child sexual abuse. It's okay to pause, skip ahead, or come back to this one another time. My guest today kept his story secret for thirteen years. Seth Gehle grew up with a mother who became addicted to crack and cocaine and physically abusive, in a house so falling-apart that rain came through a hole in his bedroom ceiling. At ten years old, an adult man began grooming him through an older friend, and over the next five and a half years molested and eventually raped him. At fifteen, Seth reported him, kept his own clothes unwashed for a day so the hospital could collect evidence, and watched his abuser get convicted on 11 counts. He never told his story publicly again until three months before he sat down with me. Seth is a combat veteran (82nd Airborne Division, one tour in 2019) who went on to become the top construction manager at a major home-building company and is now writing a memoir, "Strength Beyond the Shadows." We talk about what it took to report his abuser as a teenager not knowing if the story would ever go public, why every survivor's story matters no matter who else supposedly has it worse, and the message he's building his life's second act around: heal first, before you seek justice, or the justice won't matter. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtgdPzudwCQ In this episode How years of instability, addiction, and abuse at home left Seth vulnerable to a predator who spent months grooming him before the abuse began Why Seth stayed silent about the abuse for years, and what finally made him report it at 15: watching the same grooming pattern start on a younger friend What actually happens when you report abuse: the hospital, the evidence, the interrogation, and the conviction that still kept his story out of the news entirely Why Seth says pursuing justice without doing the healing work "does it for nothing," and how he thinks about the men-are-bad-men narrative without excusing what happened to him How Seth went from combat veteran to award-winning construction manager to author, and why he talks about his successes alongside his trauma Why everyone's story matters regardless of what anyone else has "had it worse," and how sharing his own is helping other survivors come forward Timestamps (00:02) Welcome and guest intro: meet combat veteran and abuse survivor Seth Gehle (02:49) Childhood instability: his father's imprisonment, his mother's addiction and abuse (07:36) Meeting the man who would groom and abuse him for over five years (10:26) The abuse begins, and how it escalated to rape around age 13 (14:52) The aftermath of the assault, and the shame and fear of being disbelieved (15:52) Watching a younger friend get groomed, and the decision to finally report (19:07) The hospital, the evidence, and what happened after Seth reported his abuser (25:32) Why Seth started speaking publicly about his abuse only three months before this recording (28:09) On justice, healing, and why he refuses to let his message become anti-men (29:04) From the Army's 82nd Airborne to a national award as a construction manager (31:26) Writing his memoir, "Strength Beyond the Shadows," and founding the Impact Project (37:19) Where to find Seth and follow his story About Seth Gehle Seth Gehle is a combat veteran who served eight years in the Army's 82nd Airborne Division, including a combat tour in 2019. After leaving the military, he became a project manager in construction and was recognized as the top construction manager for 18 months running at a major national home-building company, honored at the International Builder's Show. He is writing a memoir, "Strength Beyond the Shadows," and recently founded the Impact Project, and now speaks publicly about surviving childhood sexual abuse to help other survivors heal. Follow Seth at his website, SethGehle.com, or on Instagram and YouTube under Seth Gehle or "Go Beyond the Shadows." Favorite quotes "If you don't heal, if you put the [abusive] person away for the rest of their life, but you don't heal and you don't do better than you've done, it for nothing." —Seth Gehle "We all start on the same road as these innocent little babies. Some bad things happen. We take our detours, and you can either park your car in that bad neighborhood or you can keep driving and find your way out." —Seth Gehle "Everyone, we all have a right to our own story... and we have that responsibility and that right to step into that space." —Dana Skaggs Resources mentioned SethGehle.com: Seth's website "Strength Beyond the Shadows," Seth's memoir, tentatively expected by the end of 2024 The Impact Project, Seth's newly founded initiative built around the six principles he lives by Related episodes From Victim to Victor: Healing From Abuse: another survivor's story of healing after abuse, a natural companion to Seth's own journey. From Child Abuse, Drug Trafficking, and Decades in Prison to Being On Fire For Christ (Part One): another guest's story of surviving childhood abuse and finding a new purpose on the other side of it. Healing from Trauma and Addiction: Dr. Stephan Neff's Journey: more on the link between childhood trauma and the healing work that has to happen afterward. Subscribe & connect If this episode gave you something to sit with, follow Phoenix and Flame so you never miss an episode: all apps in one place, or jump straight to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or YouTube. And if it moved you, leave a review; it's the easiest way to help another listener find the show. Learn more about Phoenix and Flame, connect with Dana, and listen to more episodes here. Curious where your own boundaries stand? Take my free Work Boundaries Quiz: danaskaggs.com/quiz