From Wounds to Wisdom: Turning Pain into Personal Growth

Have you ever considered that your deepest pain could lead to powerful personal growth? In this enlightening episode, I sit down with Craig Perra, founder of the Mindful Habit system, to explore the profound wisdom in our emotional wounds that can be revealed through self-leadership. Show Notes | Transcript "The deeper the wound, the greater the healing. And so your greatest pain becomes your greatest teacher." - Craig Perra Craig shares his inspiring journey from the depths of addiction and self-destruction to becoming a renowned life coach. His story is a testament to the transformative power of compassion, both from others and ourselves. "All behavior is need-seeking behavior," Craig reveals, offering a perspective-shifting insight that challenges our traditional views of "good" and "bad" habits. This understanding forms the foundation of his approach to healing and personal transformation. In this episode, you'll discover how to: How to recognize and communicate with different parts of yourself The surprising truth about anger and other 'negative' emotions Practical techniques for using mindfulness to navigate triggering situations Why breathing and gratitude are more powerful than you might think Key insights include: The Internal Family Systems model and its application in personal growth How our habits and patterns often stem from childhood experiences The importance of curiosity and compassion in self-leadership Why connection is crucial for overcoming addiction and emotional challenges Whether you're grappling with personal challenges, seeking to understand your emotional responses better, or looking to support a loved one through difficult times, this conversation offers valuable insights and practical strategies for growth and healing. Tune in to learn how embracing all parts of yourself - even the ones you've labeled as "bad" - can lead to profound personal transformation and a more fulfilling life. Connect with Craig Website: mindfulhabithelp.com Podcast: Sex Afflictions and Porn Addictions Resources: Join the Soulful Women's Network here Receive daily inspirational email messages: bit.ly/LoveLightNotes Need support? Go to engagewithgloria.com to schedule a call. Connect with Live Love Engage: Send Gloria Grace a message ☕ Support the podcast ❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand Facebook: Gloria Grace Rand YouTube: Gloria Grace Rand TRANSCRIPT Gloria Grace Rand Have you ever considered how the pain of betrayal could actually become the catalyst for your most powerful transformation? Well, today's conversation with our guest is going to dive deep into healing those invisible wounds so that you're able to reclaim your self worth and turn your journey of self love into a beacon of inspiration for others. But before we get there, I do want to welcome those of you who are maybe new to the podcast or welcome those of you who are wonderful subscribers. I want to welcome you back. And for those who are new, I am Gloria Grace, the founder of Align to Shine Academy. And I work with spiritually minded women entrepreneurs, help them to break free from self doubt and really, really step into their highest potential. And part of that is dealing with some of the things we're going to be talking about today. So in just a moment, I'm going to bring on Craig Perra, who is the founder of the Mindful Habit system. And Craig overcame his own mental health struggles and addictions to become a renowned life coach. And as a global leader in breaking self destructive habits, Craig's transformative approach blends mindfulness, self leadership and actionable strategies, empowering millions to create healthier, more fulfilling lives. So I can't wait to hear what he has to say on this subject. I hope you can't either. So without further ado, let me bring him up here and welcome you, Craig, officially to Live Love Engage. Craig Perra Thank you, Gloria. It's a privilege to be here. Namaste. Right back at you. I'm happy to be here. Look forward to this conversation we're going to have today. Gloria Grace Rand Yeah, absolutely, me too. And, and I know it's, you know, I guess we don't like to necessarily talk about, you know, having emotional wounds and things like that, but it does actually affect our, you know, behavior and, and it can affect our work and our family life. And I mentioned in your bio that you deal with self leadership and so I'm curious to know how that actually plays a role in the healing process. And yeah, we're going to start there and then I got a follow up question, but we'll start there. Craig Perra Yeah, no, great question. So self leadership is a term that comes from at least these two places that I'll talk about. So first is from a professional development leadership training, positive psychology, this notion of making proactive decisions, owning the outcome, you know, responsibility for what's happening in your life. So there's the leadership aspect of self leadership. That's also a term that has been embraced by the internal family systems model. And that's Essentially an evidence based, neuroscientifically sound behavior change modality referenced in popular culture in the Pixar movie Inside out, which is essentially leading the different parts of you to create positive outcomes. So for example, in our betrayed trauma work, there's a part that maybe gets angry and feels resentful for the choices that in my line of work that the husband made, to lie, to cheat, to know, keep a secret porn life. And so it's, it's essentially leading those parts to create positive outcomes. And it's a, it's a term that I love. It really is on the positive side. And, and I, that's my thing. I really try to focus on the positive side, strengthen the positive to, you know, strengthen the negative. So that's, that's basically what that term means. Gloria Grace Rand Well, I, I appreciate that and I love the example of, of Inside out, you know, that wonderful movie too, that I think that that helps to make things a little bit more relatable. So I appreciate you sharing that. So what's one practical technique that someone could start implementing today with regards to self leadership in I, I guess maybe either of those formats or both. Craig Perra So before the technique, it's really important to understand that in the internal family systems model and using basic self leadership principles that, let's take for an example, a spouse who is angry at her husband for the choices he's made, destroyed the family, kept sexual secrets, there is a deep, deep, deep sense of betrayal, trauma. And there's often a resentful part, there's often an angry part. And, and before we get to the technique, the insight that I want to share is that these parts, although perceived as bad or destructive or, or harmful to a, A, you know, a healthy reunion, the reality is that these parts are trying to protect you. In fact, the name for these types of parts in the internal family systems model is a protector. So anger is a protector. Anger is trying to protect the partner from making the same mistake. Again for trusting when she shouldn't trust, for the fear of letting her guard down. That angry part keeps her vigilant, for example. And so I, I think it's really important to understand that this behavior, although causing distress to the central nervous system, dysregulation, high blood pressure, heart issues, over time, that's the damage that stress and anxiety and anger can do. But they are serving a purpose and they are meeting needs. Self leadership requires you to understand the needs that these parts are meeting so you can lead that part to a healthy outcome. If that makes sense. Gloria Grace Rand Oh yeah, I love that, and, and, and it's. I so appreciate you doing that to, to explain because, yeah, so often we really do think that, oh, you know, anger is this, you know, emotion that we, you know, we have, but we don't necessarily, you know, sometimes we really do categorize it as bad, you know, and it's like, and I know that, like, and I'm just thinking back to, to my mom that, who had a lot of anger with my dad because he was an alcoholic. And so she would, you know, naturally, you don't like being married to someone who's involved in that. And so she had a lot of anger. But I can, but I also understand and can appreciate how that could be a protective mechanism. I never really thought about it that way, but it really is, you know, because it is, it's kind of, you know, protecting your heart because it's already been wounded once and you don't want to get it, continue to have that, you know, make it make it worse, you know, to really inflict more damage. So I appreciate that. Thank you so much. So how can then someone start kind of moving into, you know, using self leadership to say, okay, yes, I know I'm angry and I'm trying to protect myself, but I don't want to stay anger angry because as you said, it can really cause a lot of physical harm to the body. Craig Perra Yes. And so just like leadership requires us to lead, we might lead Johnny on our team and Karen on our team very differently. They have different needs, they have different desires, different goals. So I'm going to lead these two people on my team very differently. And one of the first things that people can do, which is a wonderful technique and it sounds absolutely crazy, but there is a lot of data to support the efficacy or effectiveness of talking to yourself in the third person. So one of the techniques that we have, and let's say we've got a partner who's resentful or angry or they're constantly ruminating, they're wondering, is he doing this, is he doing that? That part is trying to protect them. And, and one of the first things we do before we get to, you know,...