Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, Hollywood, is Hollywood and it's welcome to another episode of Jesse Wilder's Guide to Life. I'm Jesse, that's Wilder. And guess what's back? Oh, with Sean McGrath!
It's City Snacks. Wow, wow, wow, holy moly. I got a City Snack. Why don't you, while I text you, what I'm looking at, why don't you explain to the good folks at home who have not don't know what the fuck- Obviously everyone listened to every episode of Backward Star Galactic.
I don't need to tell you about City Snacks. I don't need to tell you that when McGrath lived in Brooklyn, he would often go into Bodegas and find snacks that were designed by neither Man nor Beast and just the strange little snacks exist out there kiddos. Yeah, so what, what, I have now, I live in Kine of a suburb in the Bay Area and you could take the eating on a podcast out of the boys, but you can't take the boys out of eating on a podcast. That's correct.
That's what they said. It's written in the Bible. Oh, no, no, no. I'll tell you right now though, I bet these are gonna fucking be good as hell.
I'm so excited. I have one more image I haven't shared with you yet. There's a little secret surprise. So I do have something near to a Bodega right around the corner.
Like as much of a Bodega, if you don't know, we're not gonna get into it. It's so you could fucking Google it, but it's a New York thing, but it's really just a corner store that also makes sandwiches. It's so crazy because you have something like a Bodega there and I have nothing even remotely related to this sort of corner store anywhere in the entire city limits. What a coincidence.
So we have a corner store that's got all your little dips and bops, all your little nasty snacks you want, and instead of sandwiches, they got Indian food, which is tight. God, that's good. Just some samosas sitting there at the counter. Just a little shot.
A little sea layer. So I'm gonna crack these open. Tell them what I got because we haven't even said what it is. Yeah, so traditionally in the style of our wildly successful podcast about battle, Stargolactica when we text each other photos of snacks, McGrath will find a snack, he'll send it to me, he'll gauge my reaction, he'll eat it.
I get to listen to him crunch, I get to edit all that out. And what he has today is you guessed it. Slim Jim, pork rinds, chichordones, fried pork rinds, chichordones. The flavor, in case you're wondering, is hog wild barbecue?
Did not know Slim Jim was not only in the big tube meat game, and what am I looking at here? Oh, it's expired. That's what, and the little piece that is did expire recently, February 28th, 2022. A month and a half ago, these boys kicked it.
So what happens to this shit on February 28th? It's like, it's like, it's 27th. It was an entirely different thing. Well, are they good as hell?
It seems like it. Yeah, they slam. Unfortunately, they slam hard. They're very good.
So is the chichordones, is there any chewiness to it seems like not, right? Not, it's your, it's your classic, it is not like a pork rind situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like a chichordone that you would get at like a barbecue place where you might get ones that are a little bit more tough or something.
This is like a fully, I didn't get it to, we're going to do one of our popular segments called Bad Guy, which was originated in the first podcast of ours, but we do have pork with a crunch written on the side at an exclamation point, which is, as you know, what they called me in high school. And one of the other slaves, squeal in hot. I know, I definitely wish. But you are so stupid for not getting.
They didn't have it. Or I would have. Oh, you'll be squealed. Oh, it says literally.
It says that underneath. Yeah, I made you squeal. Oh, damn. Well, the only thing that like, I have to be honest with the only knock on these.
They're a little, the flavor is low. It's not like a. I have to tell you, I'm not squealing. Well, you're not supposed to be squealing because you didn't get the right flavor to squeal.
Oh, right. Okay. Are you going hog wild though? I wouldn't say hog wild.
They are adequate. They don't, they taste nothing of a slim gym. They are adequate. It sucks.
Chicharones. Yeah, which is fine, but it's like, why would I get this slim gym brand? No, but yeah, I ain't seen even a slim gym proper. They're original.
I don't know that I've clocked one of them in a while. No, I also haven't seen a slim gym make other products besides slim gym. No, not a chance. Have I told you my dirty little sl- I must have, right?
We must have done this. Yeah, you used to cook them on big lighters like a fucking little street person. I also take a little bit of a exception to the fact that it says pork rinds and then underneath that it says chicharones. A little redundant.
I think you get to pick one, right? True. It's full of it's for a lot of multiple friends out there. I suppose, yes, but it also has a picture of it on the back.
I just think you know what you're getting. But yeah, I think these are, I wish they were, I'm disappointed that they are not either a flavor packed or be horrible. They are just an average sort of gas station pork rind. They might might as well be, you know, you go to gas station and they got that weird little spinning stand that just has snacks and clear bags that have a brand and it's like the circus peanuts and the weird like.
Tell me, talk about circus peanuts again on this program. But you know what I'm talking about, that little stand. They taste like those pork rinds, which is like, okay, yeah, clear bag pork rinds. So how many job ooh heads does this get out of 17 job ooh heads out of a total possible 17?
It's 17 the highest it is, yes. Yeah. Oh God. I don't know an 11.
I mean, it's like 17 is not bad. It's like, it's such a thing that like you, if I poured these out into a bowl for like, I don't know, like a football party, for example, you wouldn't know the what you'd be like, oh, these are regular pork rinds. These are fine just pork rinds you got maybe a coffee. Imagine what a lunatic you feel like if you're like, hey, are these slinging pork rinds?
Oh my dude sprung for the Jimmy's. I'll tell you, pork rinds, very not quite lit for fruit. Yeah, well, yeah, that brings us to today's topic. Slinging some type called the fruit of the checkout counter convenience store.
Fruit is the category. Fruit is, I think just like overall, if we had to give fruit a grade, it's a very quite lit. I think we can all agree. Yeah.
We, but Graphan, I talk about fruit very frequently to the point where we decided to do this episode because we're always talking about fruit. Yeah, and it's a thing. It's a little bit of a, it dabbles into some other episodes too. Like sometimes fruit is a source of power.
Like when stone fruit season arrives, while they're not, I cannot help but text each other how big our boners are. Yeah. And it's also, it also sometimes feels like a little sinful because you just, you just be, I don't want to give away so much, but you just be slopping down that fruit. It's the juices dribble in berries.
Berries are kind of sinful, bro. Oh yeah. Berries is absolutely simple. The things I wouldn't do to a Berries.
Oh my goodness gracious. Okay. Berries is a category. Okay.
So I don't know how we're going to, because like, I also feel like, like Apple is a category. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.
Because the range of an apple. I know, but listen, real quick, why don't we just lay out some of our faves and least fav fruits to start it off. Okay. Okay.
Hello. My name is Waboo. I love a nectarine and I hate a papaya. Oh, so you're doing 11 to hate.
Yeah. Okay. Okay. I love Niners.
Oh, you love them, bro. I love them. They're absolute busy work. No, they taste.
Are you gonna let me, are you gonna let me fucking finish? No. I didn't talk about nectarine's the inferior peach. Yeah, exactly.
Exactly. Shut your fucking hole. And I don't like durian. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I don't know if I've had one. I'm a big honky. I haven't had one, but I've smelted it.
Haven't I? Okay. Here's the thing. We must avoid just being like plums.
Love them nectarines. Love them peaches. Ooh, and the type of peach. I know.
I know. I know. And if we wanted to get real freak nasty with it. A friend of the show, Mike the bike, Kusiani, he has that boy will hit a farmers market with like a specific list.
If you don't have his fucking flavor queens. For a bonus points farmers market. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I haven't been to a farmers market since the before times. Yeah, since for a grip. Yeah.
I feel market as they call it here, which is don't even get me started on that shit. Tailgate market isn't a merit obvious. You can be a lot less fun than your average tailgate. Yeah, probably less fun than a tailgate.
Less good than a farmers market. You found the perfect bad middle. Anyways, for Apple, would you prefer to write Malice Domestica? Would that make you happy?
It wouldn't make me happy. I have a better suggestion. Red things. What about what if I just write crunchy?
Okay, I do like that. But is could we split up the colors? No, dude. That is the worst idea.
The red ones. No. That sucks. So much.
Stone. Stone fruit is a category. I reckon. Yeah, gotta be.
I have one that's not a type of fruit that needs to be a category. Application. So for example, for example, how are you applying these fruits? As much as we both love fruit.
Fruit salad is a two at tops. What'd you say? No, not at tops. I do think that it's not the highest ceiling, but the ceiling is not good.
The ceiling is not in a cup from a restaurant. Like at a restaurant. It can rip. A nice limey lemony dressing.
Yeah, I don't disagree with that. But for whatever you want to say about the ceiling, my brother, that floor is in hell. I do. Okay, the floor is in absolute hell.
All great. All great. Fruit salad is a very pretty good. I think very quite lit.
Is raw dog in it count as an application? What does that mean? Just like when you're raw dog in it. No, no, nothing else.
Just me and this apple. Yeah, which is very quiet. It's taken a gnarly crunch. Very quite lit.
That's what that basically what I want only. Yeah. Yeah, I do have another very quite lit though. Okay.
Dessert. Yes, agreed. Agreed. And we don't even need to get into like specific, like, you know, cake and pie.
Like it's all good. I do want fruit. I want it. I am a dead meat sucker for a chocolate berry dessert.
That shit gets me going. Yeah. Yeah. It's yeah.
And like, I'm not even the biggest, what you learned about me in this episode is I eat the biggest berryman. Like some of them I could really take her leave. But damn, yeah, you ain't wrong about that. You toss a straw in a chalk or what?
What berries don't you like? Because I do think that bloobs are very pretty good. Yeah, bloobs are very pretty good at best. Because look, we have to establish something very low floor.
Yeah, we have to establish something. We are not talking about the perfect watermelon, the perfect blue, right? Because they almost were all be threes. That's just how it goes.
It's so good. So a big thing here is going to be floor and ceiling. Blue got a floor akin to fruit salad. That's usually what's dragging that shit down into the depths.
Oh my god, mushy. Sometimes it feels like I'm blue. Honestly, blue can be such a fucking saboteur. But stick that shit in a pancake or a muffin.
I can't get it all my god. Or you just get a little box of them that's perfectly ripened and they got that little pop in your mouth. You're going to crunching them down. The consistency.
So fruit, I think what swings fruit either way is the consistency. Think about a great mango as opposed to a stringy mango. Right. I have a, I don't know where it goes, but I do this as a bit.
But tomato is a demerit, right? Okay. You know that I'm the world's biggest tomato man. I actually was going to suggest for category like the eye roll fruits, like a cucumber or a tomato.
Oh my god, okay, fine. Tomato is still very quiet lit. I guess we could put it in it too because I know a lot of people know. I was just thinking, well, I wasn't thinking because of like what I like.
I was thinking like, I just hate when people, I only say. Actually, tomato is a fruit. To be a dickhead. I know, sure.
I hate that. I also have another demerit because I guess this is fruit related. If you ever, well, if any of you ever come up to me and even so much as talk about, let alone hand me a fruit cake, I will kill you where you say it. It's not a demerit.
That's application and that's a very not quite lit. Fucking hell. Ooh, I have an application that's so good it may even be a bonus point. Substituting sweeties for with fruit.
Instead of the nemmms, I'm going to have me some grapes. Oh, grapes are very quite lit. Crunchy. Put it in very quite lit.
Are we sure it's very quite lit? I just think. So if we're not doing this, it's always perfect situation. Then what is always going to be very quiet lit?
It's not always perfect. I'll tell you something about grapes that you know. I think we're often the not rule has to apply here. You got so many opportunities, bro.
I think it's very quiet lit. I'll tell you though, this is my problem with grapes and I love them usually. Brother, it is one of the fruits where sometimes you get in there and what's this? There's a seed.
It's like- Excuse me moi. Get brand loyal. No need to branch out. No pun intended.
Two other types of grapes. Just grab the ones from the grocery store. They've been opened. Everyone's nasty fingers have been in there.
It's fine. For sure. Bro, you eat grapes out of the supermarket like fucking my dad used to do that shit all the time. No dude, not.
They should have someone standing next to the fruit area with a big fucking axe that chops your fingers off of the kitchen. I'm just eating the fruit in the market. Is it the merit? If they wanted you to have a sample, they would make that shit obvious.
They don't. It's a gamble. Welcome to the produce section. It's all a gamble.
You wouldn't do that shit with anything else. You're not going to- It's like- It's like those are bonus points. I miss all the bonus points. Take a bite of the fucking- Oh my god.
Yeah, I agree. I agree. I agree. Well, that just, I think it was in the farmers market because I feel like that's part of that.
Can we hit some fruits real quick? Yeah, go on. I love my nectarine. I love my peach.
I love my plum. See, I would put cherries at three, but I feel like a lot of people don't like them. I think that they are. I like them.
I like them. Um, but I just think I don't know if they're quite on them. I don't know if I can- I don't know if they can swing with peach and nectarine, my opinion. Talk about a road trip snack.
You spit in them pits out the window. The problem. I do. And I love- Oh, I love this.
Suck a pit. Suck a pit. Suck a pit. Okay.
That has to be submerged. Baby, put that on the bucket hat. Suck a pit. Suck a pit.
Oh no. But, I mean, here's some- I cherries. Cherries baby. Sometimes I suck on the pit.
That's dangerous. You first of all, you'll die. Second of all, sometimes I can't stop myself. Like a nectarine.
I only eat one. Like, I'm not going to sit there and eat pound three nectarine. Big bag of cherries. I will.
I'll fuck around and accidentally eat like a half pound of cherries. And then I tell me do one all type of things. I can't. Is this a cat?
Do you do anything- like so it's like that. Do you eat a fruit in a weird way? So, for example, I love nectarine and I love them when they're crunchy and tart before they're ripe. Um, I think- I think al dente is an application.
And I think, um, overall, it's probably very not quite lit, but- Well, I think it's very pretty- I'll get it very pretty good. Like some people- not g- tart nectarine. Not me, but some people prefer a- a- a demeanor. A little before.
Like, as it- as it makes that green yellow transition. Whereas for me, I like to get them spots on it before I- Yeah, because you like baby food. Uh, what about- what about this demerit that I saw someone do recently? Which is eating the peel of an orange.
Yeah, I mean the- the- the- the insanity? This is something- this is something I hate and it's not fruits fault. But this is something I hate in the- in fruit- about fruit. And it is this thing where people say all the nutrients are in the peel.
Or all the nutrients are in the skin. Or all the nutrients are in the- the stem of the grapes. So when you're eating them, you should eat that part too, because that's where all the good stuff is. Yeah, that's cool for them that want the nutrients.
I'm not eating fruit for nutrients. I'm not. I'm not. And- and- it's my pleasure.
I wish someone would show me the s- the science because like nobody ever fucking proves it. They're- I feel like the logic is just like, it tastes bad, so it must be good for you. Wrong. Dirt tastes bad.
It's not good for you. It's probably fucking prank, bro, and I'm not falling for it. Yeah, I'm not gonna eat it. One time I- I- uh, I- I used to- I used to fucking- ooh, this is an application that fresh juice, my brother.
Ooh, ooh, ooh. But, uh, I used to- I used to be a big juice dog and, uh, one of the first times I did it, I was reading and they were like, you got it. God. Like fucking put the whole goddamn orange peel in there.
Oh, hell and drinkable was that drink. It tasted horrible. It tasted bitter like an orange peel nightmare. I want to go back to you said you're not the biggest berryman.
What's- what's your- what's your least favorite berry? Well, I- I don't- again, I think that like, in certain applications, great. I don't love just eating a razz or a black berry. I- like right- right out the cart.
I can't- it's the seeds. It's something that- Oh, I love to crunch down on those seeds. Oh, crunching on those seeds, bro. Yeah, bro, you crunch those little seeds down.
I love a razz to berry or a black to berry, but I- they often are sa- soft. Oh, soft? Sometimes it's- well, I cannot do it. Yeah, okay, so are we saying razz and black are a two?
Cause it's like, they could be- I think razz is very quite lit and black is very pretty good because the black berries are softer and more often than razz berries are gross. And, uh- razz molds overnight as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, berry's high mold potential. I mean, yeah, that stuff.
Here's my other- here's my final say on- on razz and black, cause I agree with you in three and two. I think razz is a little bit more- It's a little bit more versatile. I see razz a lot. Black is like- uh- yeah, it's just not- it's not coming up in my life as much.
And look at two dessert flake, like a raspberry chocolate cake, perhaps? Yes, yes, and blackberries don't hit the same. Strawberries a3, yes. Yeah, they're so good and actually even goes into an application.
Um, cereal, bro. Ooh, honestly to me- Or neers. The number one way you'd get me to put a fucking nana in my mouth is stickin' a macchirrios or some shit. I don't- Nana is so versatile, your- your wild is- They're mushy and they taste like nothing and also you ever try eating one you have a sore throat cause you think that it's soft and it won't hurt but actually- No one does that.
No one does that. No one's like I have a sore throat. I have a good name. I hate it.
Hey, stupid. I do like snap it in half though. Yeah, I do this in half obviously. Um, so here's- here's my case for banana and I don't even know- is it crunchy dude?
Cause it's not. It's the opposite crunchy. Ooh, it has tropical. I'll put it in two.
I'll put it in two. But here's what I love about banana. So versatile. So it goes on your cereal.
Excellent. Uh, your oatmeal, fine. Same shit cereal. Um, I love it in a smoothie.
It is a choice smoothie. Especially like I don't fuck with this cause I'm not a freak but- It is true that neers kind of erase a lot of the yuck- If you're putting like fucking spinach in your smoothie like a freak, banana beat the shit out of it. Yeah, of course it does but then- It's the lesser of two evils cause then you got taste banana. How about this?
You ever put it on a peanut butter sandwich? Uh, no. I know people- I know that's a thing. I don't- I don't- I don't do- I don't like them.
I don't want them. They stink up the room. Like I get a room? Yeah, like banana stink, bro.
The artificial banana flavor is also a nightmare. You think about your ass when you think about staying out the room dude? Cause bananas are making that room smell. Mmm.
Like bananas which are bad. Tropical paradise. What- what- what- what- about the fact that so much fruit you got a peel? Cause that sucks.
An orange, bro. I always want to put it in very not quite lit for how much I hate to peel an orange. No, it is- Okay. It's covered in that nasty skin like your student said.
Citrus, uh, it's on category, yes. Yeah. Okay. And orange, I- I- It's so hard but like it does seem like a very not quite lit.
But they can be so fucking good. Can you just put like, parentheses? Because it's not worth it. Like because you don't want to make sure we're not mis- Hold on.
Hold on. Whole unpeeled orange. Very not quite lit. Perfectly like, you know like sometimes you go to a sushi bar and you get the little orange on the toothpick?
Of course. See that is a three to me. Yeah. I- So like- like chef prepared peeled orange.
Yeah. Perfectly peeled orange is a three I think. Yeah. Like I would almost rather not have an- if you're like the best orange in the world is in here but you gotta peel it.
I might not do it. Yeah. It sucks. And it's like I- I everyday for lunch, well our most days for lunch.
I have- when they're in season, I have a team. I have a team. I have a team. I have a team.
I have a team. I have a team. I have a team. I have a team.
I have a team. I have a team. I have a team. I have a team.
I have a team. Where they are. And here's- I have a team. Here's an.
The team of four. We're going to be all well. collective boys together. We're going to be all boss.
Nice. Nice. I know it. I know I am.
I know it's a team Lead me. I know it's like a team Lich's wearing... Oh, you get right? Oh!
What a different team. So. I can't remember how that became a designer. I go to college, find- You are a team that didn't Very high variance where you open it up oops.
I got one full of seeds you open it up Who this one's got all the white spider webs on it white oranges sometimes covered cobwebs bro, bro I just oranges are not worth it. I think overall tangerines of three yes Can we slash mandarins? I don't know what the fuck the difference is yeah, oh if lemon thing clementine all that I'm only a little uh, I think this might end up being the rule for most of these fruits But Asian like like a like a satsuma. Yeah, that's who was absolutely so good and also Asian pairs.
Yeah, Asian pairs crunchy That's a very early crunchy. Yeah, pears I think Asian pairs of three every other pair of two we agree with that yeah Shout out to Annie Clark whose favorite food is soft pear. Oh my god I want to go back to citrus lemon lime not so much things to eat as they are flavors Yeah, I think you give them a two just on that like that you're not gonna crack one of them But they're so and they're and like it's who the best flavors and like talk about harmony Oh and and incredibly incredibly versatile like anytime you're cooking anytime you're making a bev Yeah, fuck yeah, give me a little squeeze of lime in there baby I have been known to before I started worrying about the enamel of my teeth you give me a lemon slice on my drink Oh eat that whole piece of fruit that's sick. You're sick, but yeah, I mean love it.
There's no surprise there So do we want to say there are three I think they're still interesting. Okay. Well, I got some more stone fruits to rip Go on and this is a stone fruit and an eye roll fruit By sheer matter of there's so many and they range so greatly olives Wow, I did not realize that was a stone fruit. I guess it has a pit they are God so I guess it's I guess there are two just because they can be so good But they can be so get the fuck away from me man olives I don't know if this is just something I'm newly discovering or if it is like a trend that I am Witnessing but I feel like they're on a lot of menus more often when I'm going places like as an appetites I get them every time.
I love them so dearly Oh, please god I love tomatoes, but I love them so very much. I know that everyone else hates them, but I can't help it I would eat them. I don't think everyone else hates tomatoes, bro. I think it's pretty common Yeah, I think it has to be a two is what I'm fine.
It is like it doesn't even hit like Okay, fine. You love the taste but like inarguably to me the consistency like eight times out of ten is much It's like just right. It's a It's cutting into a tomato cutting into a water balloon. It makes no sense to me It is like a lot of fruit sky-high ceiling hellishly low floor is avocado with fruit Oh, and that's a stone fruit and I love them.
I think it's a three. Yeah for sure. There's a reason those shits are so expensive, you know Bro, you think they're expensive in California. Oh, I'm sure you're paying I lived in New York, bro We've been there before true pay eleven dollars per or whatever what about I think this is a category the science fruit.
I Don't know if it's own category because there I feel they all well no I guess there's grape apple hot no, but those are crunchy I feel like they all are in the same category already alright Well in that case for stone fruit fucking the local farmers market when she magma I lived in Los Feliz had these cherry plums so they were like the size of plums and they had like a lot of the flavors of cherry Yeah, so good dog. Let me ask you good. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever had a bad science fruit?
No I think it's a bonus point because like give me the tastiest fruit that science can create yeah Like a pluot is oh through the water. Cots stone fruit very quite late. I love them. Yeah is Okay, so dried as an application.
Yeah, and I think it's a two to me. Yeah, I want to say it's a two But like I personally only have only love it when I have it well I do hydrated can suck my ass like a crispy apple chip or something. Oh, yeah, that's no good I'm thinking sometimes that dried fruit like especially like I feel like Trader Joe's kind of guilty of this It's so it's leathery to the point where it like hurts my mouth to eat like what about like a dried mango with like chili? No, I love that.
I love it. But like the the fucking the Specifically the Trader Joe's dried pineapple is like I've actually never gotten the Trader Joe's dried fruits I think oh my god and it like gets in your teeth because you're like chewing it's like this fruit leather I don't know. It's it's a two to me for sure. I do like fruit leather What about see here's something that I love and here's a wild one because I have there's two things one of them can go to hell And they're raisins.
I hate them. I think they're very not quite lit. I wish they were all dead golden Where is that it's not a berry what do you say raisins a grape? I thought they were they were little baits are the grapes.
I think they're dried grapes. Oh, Frick Raisins can go to hell just put them into merits. That's all that matters But I waboo love a dried cranberry. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah raisins a salad knock my socks off So raisin kind of an application huh because it is a dried fruit fuck raisins Can I tell you how often I'm reading a menu talk about popping up in menus if I see the word raisin anywhere It's not even I won't even consider getting it. I know it's it's so bad Take raisins off of menus make them illegal fucking it Try and sneak in one of those little golden ones like I'm not gonna fuck with golden raisin. Yeah, it's good Yeah, the gold it tastes like shit you asshole. Yeah, it still tastes like a fucking raisin But you said dried cranberry as a three.
Yes, I think I love them. Yeah, well all this okay, so I'm gonna raise it a merit I'm gonna take a reason off dried as a two. That's because that's it right is like the pitch Yeah, it's great mountaintop is fucking crazy and it's hellish pit is raisins. So like what are you doing?
You know? Is juice a category? I don't know it feels like a whole nother episode of you ask me. Oh, no, no, it's not all other episode What do you got to say about juice say your piece?
I love I love juice. I love cranberry juice I love apple juice Martin Elies as always shout out bonus points Martin Elies I don't I don't super love a grape juice, but I sort of part of being a Jewish kid as you drink grape juice What everyone drinks man is so maybe you can't really tell the difference pineapple juice. I love it Pineapple is a three right for a truck. Yeah, I think a little extra magic in it in that it's like toss some fucking liquor in there Baby only gonna make it stronger a little bit.
Yeah, you want you happen? Yeah, I so I think I have fresh juice as a three in application and I think that's it like you fine It's all so banging like even fresh grape juice like I bro. You know, I mean me. I love it or you know I love a pulp man for sure.
I wasn't always a pulp man I think I still would never buy like store-bought pulp orange juice, but yes, please pulp it up cover me in that shit Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't want fucking yeah, no I mean I can't a pulp yeah, try to get a pulp is fake. I'll take a simply with pulp that feels a little bit That's like where one of those suckers that like simply no I mean look I didn't suck her that buys any amount of orange juice to keep in my house I'm just saying God I don't like simply cuz that shit is expensive. Yeah, it sure is I get off I mean I don't do they're not in it They were like what if we were the only people that didn't sell juice in a fucking milk carton repurposed and guess what it worked Because that is fine by me. I would love that Yeah, but I'm a pulp man.
Can we fire off some apples? Yeah, we haven't talked apples yet. Yeah, what kind of apples we talk about dude Okay, my favorite is a food probably or a honey crispa. Yeah, love honey I love a lady Oh, pink lady jing.
So does I kind of forget like what the diff like I don't know if I know what a gala is Yeah, I think that there's a gala. Okay, so I think let's let's let's be a little bit more Let's not paint with such a broad let's paint with a little bit more broad brush here cuz I'm just gonna name 65 Like fucking types of apples, but okay. Well, you're gonna name one that's very not quite lit and it's red delicious Yeah, right delicious stinks is the worst food in the world. Okay, and then If you're gonna call it a delicious a big stinker granny Smith God of y'all so in there.
Oh, come on Granny Smith's like punishment. No, it is the has to be a two. I love it. I'm so many people love her shit She's the worst granny.
You like a granny Smith love a granny Smith. What are you doing? You biting into it? It just be like that's yeah, bro a little peanut butter.
Yeah, yeah, you need that's the thing with granny Smith Like you know they make caramel apples with granny Smith because that's the only thing they could do with them is cover them Granny Smith in like a salad. Oh, I love it right. Do you ever eat one as it is constantly? No way this You're in your house eating granny Smith.
Tell me the fuck truth. We have some right now in the fridge. Oh my god Okay, granny Smith a two. I just want everyone to know I'm not advocating for this I'm not quite lit application.
Yeah, I don't know if this is application work canned In the syrup. Oh the peaches bro. No, unfortunately I'm just bro. Sorry buddy.
I'm white trash I cannot ride with you on a one it has to be to I hate it. It's fine. It's fine You're you want to get on me this is crazy right now. I'm taking crazy pills You're gonna get on me for being some oh, you're one of those that like simply orange juice, but you won't even have a little can guess What have the fucking dessert fruit you're eating in a restaurant?
It's from a canned dipshit. They're not going to the farmer's market every day You out of your mind tailgate market You've lost it can fruit is a two to me because about my least favorite fruit and also a contender for my least favorite food wait Hold on hold on we got to read late put a pin in it We got to go back to apples because we only listed the two worst ones for a grain Smith Yeah, I want to say for very quite lit because I think this covers pink lady and a couple others I want it to be a little tart a little little talk a little sweet great How can I still talk it dries my mouth out? How about just like all the colors that range between yellow and pink? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah those apples those are the gala's and the honey crisps and the pink laddies and the foodies I do love a Fuji goddamn a Fuji rip so fucking hard I don't like when an apple has too much of a like waxy exterior, which I feel like red delicious is very not quite lit the Panera apples Yeah, what are you doing?
Those are bad. I mean any I'm gonna say application like bagged apples Which I feel like is a very common like like a lunchroom. I think I think I think Teaj kind of rips it with those though I feel like really often they got good ones. Okay, I never suck with it, but I'll trust you on that I always I just get swept up because I don't have to go picking them I'm just like great.
I'll be giving a bag right I think Apple even though It's like one of the first fruits one might think of I do think that apples are underrated Mmm, I get I suppose like a really great apple is transformative. You know what I like to do slice them a little salt What do you do your fruit situation is bonkers to me putting salt on an apple I have instead my worst thing about fruit that I would do do you know about my other thing that I like to do sometimes? I don't do it. I don't really want to know it and I have Same I like a little perhaps a straw or an apple.
I do I would I have Dipped it in ranch dressing Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby. It's so gross. It's so gross, but I love it You know ranch dressing, bro.
I just love ranch dressing so much very not very Not very not very much dressing No, no, it's so good God I would it's not even like that is Heyness and and there are Minimum two or three other condiments in the fridge that I would prefer to give a fruit in like it's not even just that It's a condiment I would much rather have an apple mustard wouldn't you have sometimes there's ranch dressing on a salad that an apple might come in What's big D there? This is you can't do that. That's nothing I mean as a situation you might eat apples or ranch first of all I don't think that that's accurate I don't think that I ever ranch dressing apple salad. Yeah In a salad that's not like a dried cranberry.
It's not a creamy dressing. It's like a balsamic or like a Red in salads for application. I don't like it But fruit in south because I do like apples are like a like a cranberry or what else I guess like oranges like a Chinese chicken salad I don't like it. I have to tell you I hate it.
I hate it. I do I do like it It's like I don't get because it's got that salad dressing all over it It's so it's so challenging to me because sometimes it presents a texture challenge like the fucking tangerines in a Chinese Excel sometimes it presents like oh bro remember I'm from Cafe so no dude. I was not ordering so I was only getting big fat so same which is from that place or a muffin You never got that chicken so there. Oh, it's rip.
This is our own camera. It's a little shitty cafe I hate food and salad. I have to take like if there's a strawberry in a salad. All right.
It's a no-go zone for me I do like it Dessert if you want a sweet salad like they're all that's the problem to me is that it's like a sweet salad What is appealing to you about that? Ooh appealing are there any bad stone fruits? I mean I don't know what are all of them. Can you name them all to me?
I mean I think we did it chair bear plum nectarine apricot Tell you what is on this list is neck or not? Nkun is on it so I do think that mango has to be very pretty good even though and they can go in tropical too But it's really tough because good like another just like heavenly high ceiling hellishly low floor Yeah, I got okay I'm just on a list of stone fruit now We could just knock this whole fat stringiness bro when you get a mango that's stringy and it's in your teeth I got one that's maybe very not quite lit for me But it is like I am a honky so I apologize dude light she is a stone fruit Oh, I don't like that shit like she's a stone fruit. No don't like it. I'm sorry.
I don't like it Yeah, that's a tough one. This is raspberries or stone fruit Excuse you pass. Yeah, you know what we mean. Yeah, that's a pass.
Oh dude moleberries I've never had a moleberry. I think I've had a moleberry. Oh, no, I've had a moleberry pie Yeah, I don't taste like cherries or something. I I did just think of something so I have a my least favorite thing in the world Maybe is papaya But I love it.
I love it like a Thai green papaya like the crunchy one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah I guess papaya goes in tropical and to me it's very not quite late. It looks and tastes and smells like vomit I think I just can't live up a pie.
It's a little it's a little tough and it has those little bugs on the inside They're not bugs, but they look like little bugs on them seeds So I'll give you a one on that one but a type of a pie a pie. I need to say I need to finish the stone fruit list I'm gonna kill you Coconut's our stone fruit. This says no Is there a pit in the coconut? Meh, but maybe the whole thing is it pits on the outside I think a coconut is actually a two maybe a one because the fruit itself does nothing for me coconut flavor I like but like I don't love coconut flave.
I do like coconut milk in like a curry Right, but that's it isn't it. I don't I don't like I'm I'll enjoy or like a mountain I do like those but that's like not I do like mounds. Yeah, dude, but that's not like coconut You know what I mean? That's like saying I like peanuts because I eat Snickers like it's not the same thing It's like I can't that's my P1 dude.
That's fine with me when they kill people dude. They're fucking dangerous Yeah, and it's like it's so hard to get up in there You need all types of tools and you get in there and it's just that nastiness Okay, I got another stone fruit the last one and I to me it's a three Dates I love dates. Oh, oh I hate them a lot of things. I don't like I would toss dates and figs into into the one Thanks, dude.
Thanks are so good people love them. They're so buttery. Mmm. Absolutely squeeze it put them into oh my god I don't know fig what type of what type of fruit is a fig?
It's not so no it's the bad type You're you're crazy. You just leave apples and ranch, bro. You're it's done for you. Yeah, I'm normal But to be honest can't recall a time.
I've had it fresh only flavored passion fruit Yeah, that's tropical. I love I love the flavor of passion fruit Like when do you actually eat a passion fruit? Yeah? I don't know It's Hawaii bonus point just because it feels like the land of the bank is well that seems very Very Western of us to say why has all the best fruit when I feel like probably Asia guy plenty good fruit Mexico has incredible produce But just Hawaii's got the tropical food right?
I'll give you a one you know what I absolutely cannot fucking stand But I've never had it in its natural state is a yuk fruit a jackfruit Oh, yeah, hated every like carnitas Sucks it sucks tastes like shit, and that's a I do believe that's a tropical that sucks because it's like that's not the jackfruit's fault That somebody took it and was like this is me I got one last very quiet lit stone or tropical, but once again, don't think I've had it natural only flavor, but wah wah God grow just like oh my god like a Brazilian like wah wah wah wah wah Love you know I'm saying the Cuban place that we used to live by had all type of wah wah wah wah pastries Oh pay like other so fucking guava pastries are so morning an application is like a morning pastry right like not a dessert But like a like a you know like a mmm. Mm-hmm apple turnover some shit It's a little it's a three right like no doubt an apple tonne breakfast pastry something I feel like I and I never I have never tested this but it's one of those where I feel like You could keep putting more in front of me and I suspect I will never stop if you wanted to just dump a whole carton of whatever Delicious pastries you got muffins quasants Different donishes I'm gonna eat them all for sure. I'll eat every one of them and it won't even I'm gonna be ready I'm trying to look up some berries. Oh, bro.
I mean it's basically cranberry lingon berry. Yeah, I'm going to bury What do you say about lingon berry you love them? Yeah, all right fine. I'll get the lingon berry juice at Ikea Yeah, shut up do Ikea.
Oh, I think a lot of them the jams are berry land right like there's boys in there's huckle There's a there's a bramble you fuck with a bramble berry I Want to list all those bramble huckle and we other one you said boys in the jams I love all the dark berry jams the fit my favorite either jammy fuck I'm it's a diner. You got a stack of every smucker's you can imagine what you want to tell you I'm basic It's straws it's strawberry. I've that's fine. No, there's nothing wrong with that I as long as this the answer's not great.
I'll take great orange. No orange No orange any day orange like marmalade in a little I hate it marmalade is very is a demerit Am I fucking patting to no thank you. I want marmalade. You're not patting to I hate marmalade.
Yeah, marmalade is lady marmalade is a demerit. Oh, here's here's an interesting one and it's a berry I guess no this can't be a berry Kiwi Kiwi is a two and I was not this is wrong as fuck. There's no way I keep it in tropical But it's all it's a two for me a Kiwi. Did you know that Kiwi is a colloquial term?
What is it actually called Kiwi fruit one word? Oh my god. No, it's not dude It's not or or of course a Chinese gooseberry dude that I got in trouble at School one time for giving somebody a Chinese gooseberry. You're not allowed to do that.
Yeah, Kiwi's a two for me What do you think about that? I hate them sure I got one for you that I think is two tops What is what even is up with a pomegranate where do we put it? What is it up to? Okay?
I love pomegranate seeds, right? But I'll pop them all you a whole goddamn $19 container of them from Trader Joe's or however That's so expensive. Yeah, but it's in can be labeled to get any amount on your own right like you're buying the seeds already I've watched somebody try and like eat pomegranate seeds out of the pomegranate You look like a fucking clown and they probably go everywhere. You try scoop up the spoon and they go flying across the room.
Yeah, it's it's absolutely bullshit Are they a buried in it? What are they? Oh, no, I don't know We did not talk about melons melons. I will say fruit is Also, the first thing I always do if I'm ever stuck miserably in a game of fucking Kings Cup and we have to do categories I will immediately go for fruit.
Yeah, I'm gonna put this fruit till the coyotes come out of it melons and crunchy. Oh Why so I'd like honey do and I know everyone else hates them. So there's that well, I can do it's own category That's fine. Melon honey do is fine.
I don't it's a two. I know everyone. It's can't be very quite late No, I can't because it's just boy look at the contilope Honey dude, I like male one of my favorite Celtsies is the wild basin melon one like I'm into that Yeah, can we where are we putting candle up is a three or is it two? I think so I love it Yeah, it's time and a we're turn is a three.
Yeah, we're to melon obviously three Oh, that is one though. You give fuck around you get the wrong one. It's stinks, but it's so good when you get it right It's pineapple with melon. No, dude.
It's tropical. Don't get into the weeds like that. There's no reason to it's not okay It doesn't even grow in the vine come on now Um, what are melons are there? Oh, there's there's mini you ever had a mouse melon dude this another one your fake fruits stop it Don't be jelly cuz I know all the freaking fruits and you know them all yet.
You're dipping them in ranch like what did we even doing here? a Winter melon a canary melon a crane melon. Yeah, I don't know this is a crane melon That one's spooky that one's haunted for sure. Where do we put giant fruit competitions bonus points?
It's a bonus point and it is good I mean are we missing any other fruits probably dude. I bet as soon as we get off the call be like oh my god Unbelievable how many big ones we're gonna do it would be every single episode you guys is like if we did an episode Let me just give you that for example. It's like if we did an episode on colors and then right after we text We're like I forgot red like that's yeah Every time it's impossible. Do there's this thing called the Santa Claus melon or the No, you're making this up.
Oh man Yeah, oh currents. Oh, yeah, what is what do you even do without they're kind of just like some to chew on yeah So you can you even they're a little small. What's the point? They're in like I guess they're in like a lot of like Moroccan like kus kusen things like that along with Yeah, I'm pretty good.
I call them pretty good sure you know what I like a cumquat kind of a dirty name I don't I don't think I've ever had a come quite I've had like um come quat sauce right you know that you just eat a Comequat without peeling it I did not yeah, you just pop one of them fuckers in your mouth unless somebody pranked me But it tasted good. I liked it so you might have got it would suck if I got from oh my god, bro great fruit I love a great fruit dude. They stink. I don't like I know I do not like green Fruit dang it.