Funfiltered Episode #047 - "All Dogs Are Magical"

On this ep, the "lads" revisit the Harry Potter franchise - a REUNION, of sorts. Ergo, this segue is the antithesis of ham-fisted. It's veg-open-palmed or some such zinger*. With the easing of lockdown (apparently - who's still keeping tabs? - it's chuffin' whimsical), the extended Kettle clan clustered for a REUNION. The complexity of each kinsperson and a social media character limit preclude me from performing a deep dive vis-à-vis biographies. Instead, may we paddle with the noteworthies. FAELYNN "MA" KETTLE - divorced from Sidney "Pa" Kettle in '67. Pa dead, Ma circling; JARVIS KETTLE - brother, homosexualist; MORITZ - thirty-year-plus brother-lover, naturally† homosexualist; MABEL VUNDT - First Her, first divorce; ROSÉ ROCHE, Second and Fourth Her, ditto re: divorces; SHASSI DELMOCK - Third Her, you know the drill; EGYPT KETTLE - daughter of Mabel and yours truly, one smart cookie as evidenced by her apprehension of the cachet of the Kettle name; YGGDRASIL "YGGY" DELMOCK - daughter of Shassi and yours truly, less so. Contexts. After a childhood akin to the lot of a transient/squatter, Ma and I were on nodding terms. My exes were there because they maintain friendships with each other bound by common enmity. I married Rosé twice because French actually had a frisson back in the day, I report with hindsightly disgust. Egypt was conceived in a Luxor en suite, that's why. As for Yggy, Nature is feminine, Shassi is la-di-da and her sweet love made me care little about much. Contents. Oh dear... character count approaching terra... Yggy is pregnant with my first grandchild! A boy! Finally, a fellow Y amongst the Xes (not to malign Jarv and Mor but, well...) Hope! Ma and I buried the hatchet over some cocktail sausages as our youngers rollicked to just dreadful music. Impossibly, it would seem there is a future. *The strongest alternative was "…antithesis of laboured. It's Toried..." Palpable millilitres of sweat are decanted here; sometimes the cutting-room floor is a boneyard too dismal to regard, a crammed necropolis of slain darlings. †As in "obviously", just in case you're deeply religious. As if. Tee-hee. Chortle.