Funfiltered Episode #058 - "A Basket of Pre-Existing Winners"

Sam writing.-----FADE IN:INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHTSAM (27, overweight) sits at the table. He stares bleary-eyed at his laptop. It’s early morning and it’s showing. He eyes a pack of cigarettes.S moves the mouse, opening a document titled “Blurbs”. He begins typing. On the screen, we watch him type:“FADE IN:SAM (27, overweight) sits at the table. He stares bleary-eyed at his laptop. It’s early morning and it’s showing. He eyes a pack of cigarettes."He scratches his head, sighs. He's stuck.EXT. FRONT GARDEN - NIGHTS leans against the doorway, his eyes vacant. He smokes, exhaling.A FACE appears in the plume, hovering in the air. It has a passing resemblance to Zordon. F studies S.S (unfazed)Alright?F (booming voice)I am the Conditional Giver of Things.SOkay.FYou may make three wishes.SWhat's the catch?FYour CONDITION is thus. You must persist with the Funfiltered podcast until you perish. Of natural causes.SWhat if I die unnaturally?FThe deal shall be null.S...Yeah, I'll be dead, anyway.F...Yes.S...Okay. I accept.FWhat is your first wish? And don't go asking for infinite wishes, that's not some shrewd loophole. I clearly specified that you may make three. In fact, the only thing you CAN'T ask for is infinite-SChill, chill, I wasn't gonna.FSorry. It grows tiresome.SUm... I wish that people would take Marvel less seriously.FI hope you're going in ascending order of importance.SObviously.FFine. Done.SI wish for just enough money to give me the freedom to create the things I want to create.FAre you not going to wish for world peace or anything selfless?SUnless I'm your first, I'm guessing that doesn't work.F...No, it doesn't. Okay, done.SI wish for love.FWhat type?SHuh?FWhat type of love? There are myriad.SI don't know... The kind that will sustain me. That will make me happy.F nods sagely.FIt is done.F vanishes.S raises his fingers to his lips to take a drag. But the cigarette is missing. S feels his pockets for the pack. But it's gone. S smiles.FADE OUT-----Just seeing if life DOES imitate art. I have my doubts, but I retain my hope.