Funfiltered Episode #065 - "Pregnant with Violence"

This episode clocks in at 98 mins. Skirting reasonable compassion for your concentration as this does, I was compelled to scour the back-catalogue to confirm my suspicion that this 65th instalment was indeed our pithiest discharge. On the contrary. It would appear that being so fervidly unfiltered and consequently dragging your patience through a kind of psychic Takeshi's Castle has created a Mandela Effect. Under oath, the needles poised mere millimetres from my nail bed, I'd have sworn that we'd never exercised such restraint. I'd have testified that our debut was one of gross excess and that we'd maintained that sonic debauchery until a couple of months ago. T'was ever thus and such. But no. Those early editions demonstrate a flagrant damn regard for something. We were trim and cut and oiled. But it's what always happens, isn't it? We relaxed into our relationship with you. We weren't exactly happy but we accepted we weren't pulling anyone else, so we resigned to that unique, mundane comfort of not being entirely content but it'll do cos it's better than being alone. So around Ep. 10, a Christmas ep no less, we let ourselves go. We turned in our conversational gym membership and pigged out on the turkey of self-indulgence and the pudding of not-killing-our-darlings. And then when we turned to the mistletoe, sometimes you weren't even there. But this metaphor risks conceptual overload and me crying a bit so let's move on. Receiving this wonderful 98-min-long gift (I know thinking of it as a gift is a bit mad when we're essentially - NO, not "essentially", Sam, entirely, no hedging! - in control of it but does an alcoholic not receive her thirty-day sobriety chip? Does a Weight Watcher not get a certificate for his pound droppage?) invites reiteration: if you've stuck with us this long, thank you and we're sorry for those difficult years where we just didn't give you the attention you deserved. And you know what, we didn't respect ourselves enough either! 😭😭😭 I'm ok hun, i'm ok This will be the last episode of the year! Given our old schedule, a month off isn't all that punitive, but yes, we will see you in the New Year, peepz.