Gift-Giving Advice | Addicted to Giving

Podcast Here Do you feel obligated to give gifts just because it is the Christmas Season? Do you experience more worry and pressure during the holidays than happiness and contentment? Would you rather receive a gift that was sincerely given or compelled because it is your birthday or a holiday that requires it? In this free podcast episode, radio host Roy Masters explores the difference between compulsive and healthy giving. No one would argue that the act of giving gifts is an immoral practice. Conflicts arise, however, when a person is overwhelmed by a feeling when giving or receiving. Roy explains that feeling good over getting a gift, or feeling resentful because you are being pressured to give one, represents the “dark side of giving.” Anne in California has a chronic issue of giving and “giving in” to her 40-year-old son. The subject of spoiling children, though seemingly far removed from obligated gift-giving, function off of the same principles, and have similar results. Due to her overly generous behavior, which she does for a selfish feeling of appreciation, her son has become both entitled and resentful. When faced with the choice of acting out his frustrations or holding it in, he chooses the latter and covers up his repression with alcohol. If you are a people pleaser, or feel captive to one, you must hear this podcast! (Clip from episodes: K4480 and K4481) This podcast is brought to you by the Foundation of Human Understanding: http://www.fhu.com Quotes regarding compulsive giving from books by Roy Masters: “If the express purpose of the gift is to do you honor, and your pride falls for that, you will become enslaved both by the gift and the resentment you will feel when you discover the donor’s real motivation.” – Secret Power of Words “Serving seems so innocent that it is never suspected for what it is. Indeed, any gift offering can create a powerful obligation, even if it is just a 'free' flower at the airport in exchange for a donation. Under the circumstances, the victim cannot refuse the hidden demand to part with a portion of his soul along with his money. The taker is taken.” – Eat No Evil “The greatest of all gifts (especially appropriate at Christmas time) is choosing not to give, which frees others from the obligation to give something in return for what you’ve given them. Being obliged to give binds others to the agony of giving. Do you see what I mean? Giving under pressure wrongly resolves a conflict that was implanted by suggestion. In effect, the pressure source is rewarded and the giver can become a pressure source to others. The pressure that makes you 'give' becomes the pressure that makes others 'give,' too. The same principle applies to your love needs for your children.” – How to Survive Your Parents “If you are one of those gifted ones who have felt the pressure to give, but have held back because you felt it in your solar plexus and sensed intuitively that something was wrong, you don't know how blessed you are, how much horror you have escaped.” – Secrets of a Parallel Universe ----- If you suffer deeply from the effects of stress, fear or pain, we recommend the Overcoming Stress, Fear, and Pain Pack.

An episode of the Advice Line with Roy Masters podcast, hosted by Roy Masters, titled "Gift-Giving Advice | Addicted to Giving" was published on December 20, 2007.

December 20, 2007 · Advice Line with Roy Masters

Summary

Podcast Here Do you feel obligated to give gifts just because it is the Christmas Season? Do you experience more worry and pressure during the holidays than happiness and contentment? Would you rather receive a gift that was sincerely given or compelled because it is your birthday or a holiday that requires it? In this free podcast episode, radio host Roy Masters explores the difference between compulsive and healthy giving. No one would argue that the act of giving gifts is an immoral practice. Conflicts arise, however, when a person is overwhelmed by a feeling when giving or receiving. Roy explains that feeling good over getting a gift, or feeling resentful because you are being pressured to give one, represents the “dark side of giving.” Anne in California has a chronic issue of giving and “giving in” to her 40-year-old son. The subject of spoiling children, though seemingly far removed from obligated gift-giving, function off of the same principles, and have similar results. Due to her overly generous behavior, which she does for a selfish feeling of appreciation, her son has become both entitled and resentful. When faced with the choice of acting out his frustrations or holding it in, he chooses the latter and covers up his repression with alcohol. If you are a people pleaser, or feel captive to one, you must hear this podcast! (Clip from episodes: K4480 and K4481) This podcast is brought to you by the Foundation of Human Understanding: http://www.fhu.com Quotes regarding compulsive giving from books by Roy Masters: “If the express purpose of the gift is to do you honor, and your pride falls for that, you will become enslaved both by the gift and the resentment you will feel when you discover the donor’s real motivation.” – Secret Power of Words “Serving seems so innocent that it is never suspected for what it is. Indeed, any gift offering can create a powerful obligation, even if it is just a 'free' flower at the airport in exchange for a donation. Under the circumstances, the victim cannot refuse the hidden demand to part with a portion of his soul along with his money. The taker is taken.” – Eat No Evil “The greatest of all gifts (especially appropriate at Christmas time) is choosing not to give, which frees others from the obligation to give something in return for what you’ve given them. Being obliged to give binds others to the agony of giving. Do you see what I mean? Giving under pressure wrongly resolves a conflict that was implanted by suggestion. In effect, the pressure source is rewarded and the giver can become a pressure source to others. The pressure that makes you 'give' becomes the pressure that makes others 'give,' too. The same principle applies to your love needs for your children.” – How to Survive Your Parents “If you are one of those gifted ones who have felt the pressure to give, but have held back because you felt it in your solar plexus and sensed intuitively that something was wrong, you don't know how blessed you are, how much horror you have escaped.” – Secrets of a Parallel Universe ----- If you suffer deeply from the effects of stress, fear or pain, we recommend the Overcoming Stress, Fear, and Pain Pack.

Episode Description

Podcast Here
Do you feel obligated to give gifts just because it is the Christmas Season? Do you experience more worry and pressure during the holidays than happiness and contentment? Would you rather receive a gift that was sincerely given or compelled because it is your birthday or a holiday that requires it?

In this free podcast episode, radio host Roy Masters explores the difference between compulsive and healthy giving. No one would argue that the act of giving gifts is an immoral practice. Conflicts arise, however, when a person is overwhelmed by a feeling when giving or receiving. Roy explains that feeling good over getting a gift, or feeling resentful because you are being pressured to give one, represents the “dark side of giving.”

Anne in California has a chronic issue of giving and “giving in” to her 40-year-old son. The subject of spoiling children, though seemingly far removed from obligated gift-giving, function off of the same principles, and have similar results. Due to her overly generous behavior, which she does for a selfish feeling of appreciation, her son has become both entitled and resentful. When faced with the choice of acting out his frustrations or holding it in, he chooses the latter and covers up his repression with alcohol.

If you are a people pleaser, or feel captive to one, you must hear this podcast!
(Clip from episodes: K4480 and K4481)
This podcast is brought to you by the Foundation of Human Understanding: http://www.fhu.com

Quotes regarding compulsive giving from books by Roy Masters:

“If the express purpose of the gift is to do you honor, and your pride falls for that, you will become enslaved both by the gift and the resentment you will feel when you discover the donor’s real motivation.”
– Secret Power of Words

“Serving seems so innocent that it is never suspected for what it is. Indeed, any gift offering can create a powerful obligation, even if it is just a 'free' flower at the airport in exchange for a donation. Under the circumstances, the victim cannot refuse the hidden demand to part with a portion of his soul along with his money. The taker is taken.”
– Eat No Evil

“The greatest of all gifts (especially appropriate at Christmas time) is choosing not to give, which frees others from the obligation to give something in return for what you’ve given them. Being obliged to give binds others to the agony of giving. Do you see what I mean? Giving under pressure wrongly resolves a conflict that was implanted by suggestion. In effect, the pressure source is rewarded and the giver can become a pressure source to others. The pressure that makes you 'give' becomes the pressure that makes others 'give,' too. The same principle applies to your love needs for your children.”
– How to Survive Your Parents

“If you are one of those gifted ones who have felt the pressure to give, but have held back because you felt it in your solar plexus and sensed intuitively that something was wrong, you don't know how blessed you are, how much horror you have escaped.”
– Secrets of a Parallel Universe

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If you suffer deeply from the effects of stress, fear or pain, we recommend the Overcoming Stress, Fear, and Pain Pack.