Go Do You: Advocacy, Self-Care & Letting Go of the Shame in Midlife and Perimenopause

☕ WelcomeHey good looking!I’m so glad you’re here.Grab your coffee (hot? iced? split shot?) and let’s settle in for a little chitty-chat.Lately, I’ve been reflecting on what our Menobodies community has been sharing—and wow, the themes are loud and clear. What we’re experiencing in peri/menopause isn’t all that different from what we see in women’s sports and aging in general:Not being taken seriouslyBeing told “this is just part of life”Feeling like we’re somehow “past our prime”And honestly? We’re not here for that.🩺 When You Know Your Body Better Than Anyone ElseLet me tell you about a fellow Menobody…For two years, she told her doctor:“Something is off. Something is different. I think this might be peri/menopause.”And for two years?Dismissed.Then at her third annual visit, the doctor suddenly says:“Well, research and best practices are changing…”😑Here’s the truth:She knew TWO years before the doctor caught up.The good news? She’s now connected with:A dietitianA clinic specializing in peri/menopause careFinally. Hallelujah.👉 If you’re in this space—questioning yourself because a provider is dismissing you—please hear this:You are not wrong. You are not imagining things.Find someone who is educated in menopause care.Check out menopause.orgIf you’re local to Indianapolis, explore:https://www.ecommunity.com/services/womens-care/midlife-health/menopause-wellnessYou deserve care that listens.💆‍♀️ The “Whisper” Around Self-CareAnother conversation I had recently?Facials.Yep. Facials.And you know what we realized?We were almost… whispering about it.WHY?!Somewhere along the way, self-care got labeled as:SelfishExtraToo muchAnd the list of “judge-able” things is long:FacialsWaxingBotoxNailsHair coloringTeeth whiteningBut here’s the kicker…👉 There’s ALSO judgment if you go fully natural.“She’s let herself go”We literally cannot win.⚖️ The Internal Tug-of-WarIf you’re like me, you might feel both sides:On one side:You enjoy these servicesYou’ve worked hard for themYou appreciate how they make you feelYou recognize the deeper benefits (hello massage, stress relief, skin health, etc.)On the other:The stigma creeps inThe guilt shows upThe “should I really be spending money on this?” thoughts pop upAnd that tension? It’s real.🌱 Reframing Self-CareLet’s think about this differently:We don’t whisper about:Going to the doctorEating healthyBrushing our teethSo why are we whispering about other ways we take care of our bodies?Thriving looks different for everyone.Love your treatments? → Get it, y’all.Prefer a natural path? → Get it, y’all.👉 The goal is not approval.👉 The goal is alignment with what makes YOU feel your best.🧠 Check the Judgment (Even Our Own)Quick real talk moment…I started watching a reality show (keeping it light these days), and I caught myself judging the women on it:“Why would they spend that much money?”“This isn’t realistic…”Then I paused.Was I jealous? Not really.Was I judging? Yep.So I checked myself.I realized:I can respect their choices without choosing them for myselfWhat actually bothered me wasn’t their appearance—it was their behavior toward each otherThat was the real issue.👉 Sometimes we disguise discomfort with behavior as judgment about appearance.🤝 Respect Goes Both WaysNo matter where you land:If you love self-care services → Own it. Be proud.If you don’t → Own that too. Be proud.But here’s the deal:We all deserve respect—even when we don’t agree.And if someone in your life:Constantly judges youDoesn’t respect your choicesIt’s okay to take a step back and ask:Are these my people?You deserve a safe, supportive village.🔥 Final ThoughtsThis one fires me up.Because at the end of the day:Your body is yoursYour choices are yoursYour version of thriving is yoursSo let go of the guilt.Let go of the shame.Let go of the whisper.💛 Until Next TimeI’m here to support YOU, Menobodies—All versions of you.Even when we don’t agree, we lead with respect.Now go…DO YOU.Connect with Beth:💌 Email: [email protected] 📱 Instagram & Facebook: @menobodies🌐 Website: https://www.bethlohman.com/🗞️Newsletter:subscribe here