Goals, Needs & Values: How to Live a Contented Life

--Media Links--• Website: delvepsych.com• Instagram: @delvepsychchicago• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DelvePsych20• Substack: https://delvepsych.substack.com/--Participants--Hosts: Ali McGarel, Adam FominayaGuests: none--Overview of Big Ideas--• The Delve framework defines three pillars: Goals (specific, measurable, and discrete “one-and-done” projects), Needs (what you require from the world to stay well—universal, personal, and transient), and Values (broad, evolving directions for how you live). • Pursue purpose, not perfection: contentment comes from daily pursuit of goals/needs/values, not from chasing end states. • Emotions are signals, not dictators: unpleasant feelings often flag drift from your stated purpose—use them to realign rather than to avoid action. • Don’t let wants, proclivities, or momentary emotional reactions steer your life; take responsibility for choices that align with purpose. • Examples in practice: facing fears while acting on values (e.g., social anxiety work in group, spider phobia via exposure); relationships heal in vivo, not before you begin them. --Breakdown of Segments--• Why this episode: celebrating #20 and why purpose beats outcomes. • The Delve definitions: what “goals,” “needs,” and “values” mean in this model. • Goals: make them objective and discrete (book, degree, wedding), not vague states (“be better in relationships”). • Needs in three layers: universal (autonomy, connection), personal (your unique emphasis—e.g., financial security), transient (“Sims-style” sleep/food/space needs that burst out if ignored). • Values: broad directions (health, creativity, honesty) that flex across seasons of life; keep names out of values so they survive life’s changes. • Avoiding traps: wants vs needs; proclivities vs choices; reacting to feelings vs acting from values. • Pursuit over outcome: the journey is your life—graduations are brief; purpose is daily. • Using feelings as feedback: two questions—“What have I not been paying attention to?” and “What do I intend to do now?” • Updating your list: it’s living—test, learn, and revise as life changes. • A nudge on responsibility: kindness isn’t incompatibile with being a bit selfish—put your mask on first. --References--• Greenberg, L. (2011). Emotion-Focused Therapy (APA)—core EFT text on working with emotions as information and change agents. American Psychological Association• Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2016). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, 2e: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change (Guilford)—values-based action and psychological flexibility. Guilford Press• Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). “The What and Why of Goal Pursuits: Human Needs and the Self-Determination of Behavior.” Psychological Inquiry—autonomy, competence, relatedness as basic psychological needs. Self Determination Theory• Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). “Building a Practically Useful Theory of Goal Setting and Task Motivation.” American Psychologist—evidence behind specific, challenging goals and measurable endpoints. PubMed• Doran, G. T. (1981). “There’s a S.M.A.R.T. Way to Write Management’s Goals and Objectives.” Management Review—origin of SMART; useful contrast with the Delve “discrete project” emphasis. community.mis.temple.edu• Craske, M. G., Treanor, M., Conway, C. C., Zbozinek, T., & Vervliet, B. (2014). “Maximizing Exposure Therapy: An Inhibitory Learning Approach.” Behaviour Research and Therapy—why exposure while anxious is effective. PMC• Heimberg, R. G., et al. (1990). “Cognitive-behavioral group treatment for social phobia.” Behaviour Research and Therapy—evidence base for group work with social anxiety. SpringerLink• Ryff, C. D. (2013). “Psychological Well-Being Revisited.” Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics (review)—eudaimonic well-being (purpose/meaning) and health links.