Going to the Game

Well, welcome to another episode of Jesse and Wilder's Guide to Life. We're here to guide that life. I'm Jesse. That's Wilder, your life guides.

See, that is crisp. That's a good tip. I kind of think of myself as a Porcup Evans, and I think we all know that you're a Porcup smellyet. Nah, I'm a Porcup, you're wrong about that.

I'm a Porcup, I'm a Porcup Nolan. I'm kind of an auteur. You know, I think that maybe I'm kind of a Porcupi Messina. Just charming.

Just charming. Just down to earth. He does that funny, he has that thing, you know exactly what I'm doing with my lip right now. Yeah, that's the thing.

That's the thing he does. Dude, shout out to Porcupi Messina. Just a quick off the top. I like Porcupi Martin, his music.

I mean, obviously, it was better when it was originally. Oh, sure. Yeah, well, yeah, Porcupi Martin's earlier work. Everyone Porcupi got slapped at the Oscars.

That was crazy. I like to celebrate Porcupi Mess. Okay, that's something. Maybe?

Welcome to the show. And that's just a little sampling of what we got in store for you guys. Yeah, but an Amoosh Boosh, but a taste. Come in.

They for sure. But Graff and I are both on ecstasy. They for sure turned this off. They were like, cool, this is one of the bad ones.

I'll tune in next week. What are you excited about these days? We're just in general? Like, it's April.

Yeah, it's April. Spring is upon us. The weather is finally fucking turning, right? And spring means it's baseball season, baby.

We are. But a few games in to the summer call it a slog of 182 game season. And that's summer call it a slog if they're being generous. Yeah.

Yeah, they changed a bunch of rules this offseason. And not one of them was, hey, what if we only had like, I don't know, 150 games. They went ahead and stuck to those guns with the 180. Yeah, and then like, let's then chop that 150 and a half while we're doing that.

Mm-hmm. Might as well. I don't need that many. That's the one thing that NFL got figured out.

Don't give me more than 25 games a year, please. It's enough. Anyhow, we're talking about going to the freaking game. A day out at the game.

Yes. I can't but we haven't done this, huh? No, we did sports bar. Right, right.

Did you, did you, did you, you got any tikis? You got tikis? I was game? Not yet.

I almost snooped some for the home opener Friday, but they were $55 for the nosebleeds. So I'm a cool off. I tell the Giants are in the toilet as they are expected to be, and then I'll get tikis for like $14. That's like a good boy.

Yeah, I got tiks for my minor league team. There you go. I'm going to the first pitches in like a day or two. Yeah, we're going on Thursday on Friday.

Oh, yeah. It's good. Fireworks. Such a good.

Fireworks, dude. Goddamn vibe going to the game, huh? And this is technically any game, but I do feel like it's going to be very baseball-centric. What we're talking about here.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think that we got to do different like sports as categories, though. Different sport. Okay, how about sports is a category? Oh, yeah.

All right. So baseball to me is the best one for a very specific reason that I think it's like unanimously agreed better than TV. And that's not always the case. Yeah, I would say that's actually most often not the case except for baseball.

Yeah, I mean, it depends. Yeah, it depends. But to me, like I could give less of a shit about watching regular season baseball on TV. I'll watch the playoffs, but going to the game is magnificent.

Yeah. And the whole thing. Do you know anything about the rule changes? We won't spend too much time talking about this because they're decidedly not funny, but they have essentially installed a shot clock for both the pitcher and the batter.

Brov, the games are like almost 40 minutes shorter. They have quickened the pace, which is nice. Yeah, it is nice. I'm a little bit of a purist.

So I like those fucking, especially in the postseason when it's like we're three hours or 45 minutes, the pitchers up there are ball of sweat. Now they are zipping through these games, which again, when you got 180 of them, you know, whatever, but let's not get into the weeds too much. Basketball to me is a two, I think. Yeah, I, here's my reasoning.

I have like two reasons, but it's kind of one basketball. The sport that seems to have the highest potential of a blowout, which is not always very fun. And then in modern NBA, which I guess we're not just talking about NBA, but like if you're going to a professional basketball game, boy, I would say the last three games I went to, at least one of the major stars was either hurt or resting. So that's not that.

I agree. You don't have a, you don't have a guarantee that you're going to see LeBron if you're going in the game. Right. Even if he's healthy, it might just be like, oh no, he's taken today off, which like, oh, yeah, good.

Take your day off. But that sucks for me as my viewing pleasure. Towards the end of Kobe's career when his body was breaking down, there were a couple of head tickets I bought way far in advance. And no, he was not playing that night.

I mean, the most recent game I went to, I would do Portland Trail Blazers Dallas Mavericks game and the very best player on the Dallas Mavericks, Luca, did not play at all, which was a huge bummer because I'll probably never get to see him play. Yeah, kissing goodbye. Yeah. Very not quite late to me.

Football. Yeah. I don't like football is ever been. I, I, it is a sport better seen on TV to me.

I just like, there's so many stoppages, small stoppages. It's hard to get into like a cool vibe at the stadium, but you can't really walk away like you can in baseball and like, no, I think it's a sport best not seen at all. Sure, sure. Oh, you know what?

I've been to an arena football game. That honestly sounds, can I, I'm going to give, can we give obscure, I saw the LA Avengers in like 1998. Yeah, you did, dude. I would love to give obscure sports like a two.

It's great. I think honestly, I would put, no, in very quite late, I would put like minor league. Yeah, for sure, for sure, for sure. Like I've been to a minor league hockey game in Portland, great fucking time.

Obviously I love the actual tourists. I've never not had a good time at a minor league game. Yeah. And the cool thing about minor league and I'm sure we'll hit this at some point is like, the tickets are always way cheaper.

And that's a huge thing. Like if I'm only paying 15 bucks to be there, it's going to be very hard for me to have a bad time. Those are the best seats that you can buy here at the, at the tourist table. Right.

It's the $15.00. Yes. In, at the Coney Island Psycho clones in Brooklyn, they used to have a night where every ticket was $10. So just basically pick, show up and it was all general mission.

Pick your seat. You want to get behind home play? Cool. Get here with the doors open.

Great. Cool. I went to a Sharks game once and I loved it and I could give a shit about hockey. So I'm going to put hockey in a three because I was engaged.

I was into it. It was fun as fuck. Let's get a couple of the ones that we are only tangentially sort of understand. Hockey, I agree.

I've been to one Sharks game. Sick as fuck. Soccer is a two because soccer the sport, God would have bore. But those fans, boy, they, they turn it up.

I was soccer, especially in England. You're, you're dealing with constant minor league. I was at one of the lowest level clubs with my friends in London and I had a bucking blast. Everyone is absolutely off their tits.

They're so wasted at every minute. Those games are like 6 a.m. It's, it's great. Well, I think a bonus boy might just be Europe because I was going to say rugby next.

Yeah. Like they fuck with darts over there in a way that we don't even. Yeah, dude. Love darts.

We can't even touch. The audience, the audience, the fucking fans wear the costumes during guards. You can't drink any more during guards or some bullshit. The competitors, right?

The audience can. The crowd can. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the crowd can. But the competitors cannot.

The Olympians, if you will. That's wack. I think that you have it with bonus points for Europe. Right.

So then I'm going to say soccer too because like MLS like I can't imagine like getting my. Never been to a Galaxy game. Right. Absolutely turned out for like a New York Red Bulls game but like whatever.

Also so lame. The New York Red Bulls? The Red Bulls. The Red Bulls fucking game.

That's my asshole. Rugby's a three to me. That's just like it's constant action. They're pummeling each other.

You will not understand what you're seeing. It doesn't matter. It's just like, oh bro, what about what about like you're taking your little brother to get his black belt? Is that going to the game?

Man, it is. And it's a very. He's got to do his whole. He's got to do his whole.

He's got to break some boards. So not quite lit to me. Yeah, if you're allowed to bring a video camera to the game, it's very not quite lit. I need a metal detector in order for this to be.

Are you okay? Is what's bad about this? Is it your is that your little sibling or is it? It's like martial arts.

Because the fact that it's martial arts is really. I don't want to see martial arts. I don't know. Sometimes martial arts can be sick as fuck.

I just feel like having to watch someone younger than you perform martial arts is a fun issue. Great. Little league is very not quite lit unless you got like the one kid, you know? Yeah, but even that is like not that fun.

High school I will say is a two because that's more prevalent of like you get the one kid who's like, oh wow, that kid is four inches taller than everyone else and has a full beard. Nick Young in our case. Yeah. Okay.

Wow. We really. That's got to be about all of them, huh? This way.

I mean, I will say like darts, like I don't know, pickleball, all that shit, obscure sports. Oh fucking bowling. I mean, but all that is a three. I would be so jacked to be at any of those.

Professional bowling? No bro. Okay. Sorry, but professional bowling sounds so boring.

Everyone gets a strike. But those dudes get cried. Dude, those dudes get fucking hype. I don't care to watch everyone have a perfect shot every minute of the game.

That's so boring to me. I'll give you another kind of boring one, but it's a two just because I like the ambiance. Did you ever been to a tennis match? Kind of fresh.

No, never been. Tennis two golf. You'd be cracker. Golf got to be the biggest one in the history, huh?

You're such a fucking honky. You've been to a tennis match. Well, they do the US open in New York and the dirty little secret is that the opening, what do they call it? Trials?

I don't fucking know, dude. Before the actual shit starts. Trials. The fucking master sword trials is what they call it.

Yeah. That shit is free to go to. So you know I'm rolling up to the Billy Jean King, tennis center and queens. I'm fucking me, my little dirt bag ass.

I'm wearing a t-shirt and fucking some chubby shorts, flip flops. Everybody else got a polo on. I got a ripped up fucking nine or shirt on. Come on.

I assume that if you ever scored tickets to the Olympics, that would be very quite lit. Gotta be a three. Although I don't know, man. Watching somebody run the 100 meter sounds pretty fucking boring, but yeah.

I don't give a fuck, dude. When they're in LA, I'm going to try my best to go to literally anything I can. I am, I think, as you know, I'm a big, I'm big into motorsports now as an F1 man. We really want to go to an F1 race.

I got to think that the highest net a race could be is two. It doesn't like I'm am for it, but like there's just like, especially depending on the track, you might be sitting in an area where you only see like two of the terms. I was going to go with some people to the fucking big one in Charlotte and then I was like maybe or I could just not spend $350 on this bullshit. Oh, yeah, that's that's bulk.

But the thing with F1 is you get that you get the Europe bump, right? People show up and they're like, I would die for Ferrari. It's like that's a brand guy. That's not even a person.

And they're like, I don't care. Fight me. And I'm like, well, I guess I have to. Okay.

I want to move on to something we were far more experts in and that's refreshments at the game. Let's talk about refreshments at the gang. That was a cool thing you just did. Yeah.

Where do you what do you let's say we're at the ballpark. What are you what are you getting buddy? Well, this sort of goes hand in hand with another category for me and it's strat. Okay.

Because because look, I want to booze it up at the game, but this is exorbitantly expensive to do so. So I think strat is you have to pre game a little bit. Okay. So I'm going to say yeah, those are separate to me.

Pre game is a I think for sure. Yeah. Or like unless you're the time we went to the Warriors game and don't remember a fucking thing that happened at that game. That was yeah, that was very not quite lit.

Drink an entire flask of Bacardi-O card on Bart. Yeah. I'm just a demerit. Probably the fact that we used to just drink rum straight up now that I think about it.

I'm just like, what were we up to? Dude, just stanking up that bar train probably. Oh my God. Yeah.

Burping up spicy rumbers. Yeah. The spice rumbers. Oh, idiots.

Do you think that I don't want a hard liquor at the game? How about this? I think as far as refreshments go alcohol of all. So I'm going to take a hard stance right now alcohol of all sorts at the game.

It's a one. How about that? I don't I don't think I do it all the time and I'm always like just could you just put all alcohol except for Bud Light. But that sucks.

The thing that sucks about all of it is that it's like cool. I got this talk in Bud Light. It was $9 or yeah, it sucks. So I want to say boom.

It's a one pregame. That's the way to do it. I agree that. Okay.

Yeah. I mean, I agree overall, but like I am going to get a beer. I'm going to get one and it's dumb every time. Do you ever get that beer and you're like hell yeah, nice.

Got this beer. I'm asking about this. Probably not, but like imagine not getting it. You'd be sitting at the whole fucking time like this is a waste time.

Not if you pre-gamed and then you're drinking a like a Soty Pop or something. A Soty Pop is at least a two. Yeah, I guess a Soty Pop is a two. Are you eating dinner?

Because no. It depends on the time. For example, the Staples Center. Oh, I'm sorry.

The Crypto.com arena. Thank you. I don't want to eat dinner there. I don't want a fucking chicken sandwich or whatever.

I'm going to probably eat first and then have snacks. I'm going to have some sort of snack. At the Dodger game, I'm getting my Dodger dog. I'm getting my batting helmet full of carne as Soty fries.

That's the meat. So baseball, meal, yes. How do you feel about that? Like a dinner?

Meal. Just like whatever meal coincides. Unless it's like some sort of random three o'clock game. Like if there's a meal that naturally coincides with the game at a baseball game, I'm eating it there.

Basketball, noi. Okay. Let's, I agree with you. Let's just go through some of the...

I guess it depends on arena to arena though, right? Because like some arena might have a fucking, you know, local chicken sandwich shot. Right. Okay.

Yes. So when we're talking consumables, I think the local special is a three to me. If there's like, for example, the garlic fries. Yes, exactly right.

And I don't even love the garlic fries, but... No, but you must get it. Right. Local specials has got to be a three.

A hot dog to me is a two. It's tried and true. It's not going to let you down. It's fun.

That is the local special though for Dodgers. I know. They have those big ugly bad hot dogs. They're so good.

And that's speaks to the entire organization that their special is just a hot dog. The thing that every stadium has ever. So fucking mess up. And then there's also the course of the bad number of cardiocordics.

That sounds actually good. The Dodger Dog is idiotic. There was a minute, I think during like the pandemic where 7-eleven was selling Dodger Dogs and infuriated me. Yeah.

Why cool. I was like, tell them why it's the same. And who the fuck that has any sort of feeling about a Dodger Dog is going to want one at a time. Yeah.

I agree with a catch up and fries situation. You're going to have your Dodger Dog at the Dodger game. It's very stupid. Where do we put Chicky Strips and Fries?

I'm almost I'm almost inclined to go three. It's such a good stand by. Yeah, but they're always bad. I mean, I get it every time because it's the safe.

It's all reliable. What about what about chili out of a suit like a Nathan for you? Chili out of a suit. Oh, oh yeah.

The Nathan for you chili out of a suit has got to be a one. Yeah. Chili, I don't think I think like a one way ticket to the bathroom is not going to be good. I think soup at a game might be the only time soups get in a one.

I am not sitting there. No, I'll put that shit on my thermostat. You all slurp it. No, dude.

You are not having a matzo ball soup at the fucking Milwaukee Bucks game. There's no way. But it's Milwaukee's what Milwaukee's known for. Milwaukee matzos.

Yeah, dude. That was a real name. No, soup is a wall for sure at a stadium. There's no way.

Yeah, fine. What about desserts? Dessert has got to be a two to me, I guess, because I love the fucking. And this is a local special, but the Gear Daily Sunday at Giants Park is wow, wow, wow, wow, so good.

And peanuts, peanuts or two? Peanuts or two. Because that's dinner in a show, people. You get to do something.

It's an activity. Crack them. You leave them on the ground. Where do you want to put cotton candy like negative 10,000 or what?

Yeah, I thought cotton candy is a merit, dude. Fuck, don't even put that in my fucking rubric. Cotton candy. Folks, I'm so sorry if you like cotton candy.

You're an infant and a simpleton. And you don't even like it. You don't. There's no way.

You couldn't. I know that you don't like it, but popcorn to me is a three. It's like a great. Yeah, whatever.

It's waiting for you to say popcorn. Because that's peanuts and cracker jacks. Cracker jacks is a one. Cracker jacks is a sub, dude.

They're just popcorn, but worse. And sometimes they're like, here's a little comic or something tucked in here. There's always a prize. That's why it's the whole deal with cracker jacks.

That sucks. Like an army man or some bullshit. This goes with pregame, but I just want to be more specific. I love, just simply love to tailgate.

It is quite possibly one of my favorite activities to do with tailgate. Oh sure. Yeah, I've never done it. That's a shame.

But you have to, I mean, it's like a real commitment. It's basically like going camping. You got to show up with a fucking grill and tables and you got to arrive, you know, four hours early and you've got to have an ice chest. I mean, I'm down.

I mean, I'm sounds worth it to me. It sounds like some shit I would love. Oh, just got this in from the other room. Dip and dots.

Yeah, whatever. Dip and dots goes in dessert. And it's honestly, it's the lesser half of dessert. That's why desserts are two and not a three if I'm being honest.

They're going to get dip and dots at the game. Why don't you tell the other room to get their own podcast? How about that? Yeah, the other room should get their own podcast.

What time are you arriving to the game? Are you an on time type of guy to the game? Yeah, I'd like to get there on time. But I don't care that much.

I guess it depends. And like honestly, whatever, dude, we can get there early if you want. We can get there late. We can get there on time.

I kind of don't give a shit. I think you're right. It depends. So I guess like maybe this is a moot point because I want to get there on time if we have like great seats, you know, like I don't want to waste great seats or if it's like a playoff game, of course, I want to be like maybe even a little early.

But if it's like regular season baseball, we paid 20 bucks for the tickets. Yeah, cruise up in the third inning. Who gives a shit? Yeah.

I also want to say that nosebleeds are a one. It's never ever worth it to me. Interesting. I'm a different mind.

I'm not a hoity-toity like you. I don't mind. Just every time I've done it, I've just been like, fuck it. This is so hot.

I can't see shit. I would have had better time watching on TV. I don't fuck with them. Each time I've done it, I've regretted it.

It sucks. I'm so spoiled. And you know this because you've definitely done it with me. It's like the Oracle Arena formerly AT&T Park where the Giants play.

The nosebleeds are like maybe the best seats in the house because you have a beautiful view of like the bay and all the like ships in the water. Yeah, I mean, not a stadium specific situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But okay.

I'll give you a nosebleed. There's definitely, okay. I'll give you that in baseball. You have a lot or any or football, any sort of outdoor sport.

The nosebleeds have their advantages of being able to see the city, perhaps. And indoor arena. Like basketball. Oh my god, basketball.

I feel like I'm in a fucking fall. Yes, basketball hockey. That sucks. That's not fun.

No, it's bad. Oh, dude. Try to get a box. Oh, like get it like a box seat?

Yeah, boxes are fun. Yeah. I mean, of course, like that's a course. Like, do you want to put sit court side on here too?

Yeah, dude. Court side. That's a bonus point. I guess maybe I never told the story I was in Boston once.

And there was this D-bags sitting next to me and my friend at a bar. And he was like, I overheard you in Boston for the first time. And he was looking at my friend and was like, you two want to go see the Celtics court side? And I was like, woo.

He was like, here's a deal. When I was about your age, we were not that much different in age. Probably I was a teenager. He was like, guys, we're going to go to the valet.

And this one guy tipped me 100 bucks. And I said, one day, I'm going to do this for someone else. So how would you guys go to the Celtics tonight? Courtside.

And we were like, OK, great, dude. Sounds good. He was like, we're going to put the tickets under your name. We went that night and the tickets were there.

That's insane. It's insane. That's honestly sounds so fake. Not courtside.

They were there. He put it under her name. Wow. That's a hell of a thing.

I hated his guts. But thanks, bro. That was a good time. I got to see Carmelo play it before he retired.

That's something. So, it's a court side is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. I mean, that's fair.

It's fair. Hold on one second. Oh, wow. I have a knock on my door.

I have this special notice. Oh, I'm sorry. This appears to be a wiki piece. Oh, wow.

We have ourselves a wiki piece. Yeah. But this is an incredibly relevant one that I just learned about recently. Great.

This is Ten Cent beer night. Oh. That's 74. Maybe, of course, Cleveland, Ohio.

Let me give you. I'm just going to give you, this one is like... That's pretty interesting, honestly. Like, not just supremely stupid like the rest of the wiki piece.

Sure. Let me just hit you. Ten Cent beer night was a promotion held by Major League Baseball's Cleveland Indians during the game against the Texas Rangers at Cleveland Stadium on June 4th, 1974. The promotion was meant to improve attendance at the game by offering cups of low alcohol beer for just ten cents each.

Sure. Which is the equivalent now to a 50 cent beer, essentially. of let's see if this limit six beers per purchase So more of a human could carry the fucking stadium Six days before this the Indians and Raiders had been involved in a widely publicized benches clearing brawl So this this crowd came out kind of already amped up. They were like geeked up on the game itself boy There was some bullshit of like one of the sex players like I'm not worried now.

They won't have enough fans there to worry about Let me just tell you they did The 25,000 people showed up for a Tuesday night game They were they were slamming their fucking 10 cent beers the Rangers immediately drew out to a 5-1 lead And then let me get you to this section here Which is the prize of this wiki and that's this section called the riot Yeah, I sort of suspected as much After the Indians managed to tie the game a 19 year old fan ran out of the field and attempted to steal Texas outfield of Jeff Burrows cap Yeah, oh at least at least 60 cents in the Texas manager and his players ran out of the field Some with bats a large number of intoxicated fans some armed with knives chains and clubs. Oh, so it was like gangs of New York Clups fashioned from portions of stadium seats that they had torn apart search Sick it was like the end of Pocahontas bro 200 fans surrounded the 25 Rangers with more fans incoming Oh sure realizing the Rangers lives might be in danger Cleveland manager ordered his players to grab bats and help the Rangers We have like 50 professional athletes with bully with weapons fighting off an army of 10 cent beard Insane riders began throwing steel folding chairs, which I only assume they brought from home Where did you steal folding chair like a fucking WWE man? Jack where's the movie of this? Cleveland general manager Phil Segy blamed the umpires for losing control of the game could could not come on man What is the umpires gonna do?

Yeah, umpires gonna call some people out. Yeah, and the fans are just gonna silently obey luckily Cleveland Learned their lesson they waited a whole month to have another 10 cent beer night Maybe July 18th we have this time twice as many people showed up 41 The game ended I think in a forfeit or like a tie which has never never happens in baseball It ended five five because they had to clear the stadium out. Oh, so that's that's 10 cent beer night Go ahead and look it up really a hell of a time and you're right. We do need a movie for this one So maybe strategy very not quite lit 10 cent beer night.

Oh my god Imagine being at a sporting event and someone ripped the back of their chair off and ran onto the field with it With the intention to attack one of the players in see a fucking superhero Situation and I would be gone the minute that crowd started getting even a little bit too rowdy I would have been out of there I hate so this is like a big demerit to me is like People too many cups deep out of game. I can't that it makes me feel Horrible we have to do characters. Oh my god. I guess so yeah that guy can get lost obviously I do like a I do like a Funny guy, but let's just if you can just keep it measured Funny guy is it too?

You could never be higher than it's you yeah, and obviously know it all is a negative 10 million remember that fucking guy We sat behind one time at a Giants game You don't talk about yeah, I know exactly we talk about him all the time But how he was talking shit about Brandon Belt and his very next at bad I think we're in a home run his deal was he was explaining the game to the person he was with yeah And everything he was saying was wrong if I wilder know that you are saying a baseball fact that isn't correct You really don't know baseball. Yeah, and like just don't unless a person is like actively act like Chelsea comes to baseball Gives me all the time she doesn't know what's going on I don't fucking explain it to her if she says why they do that I'll answer But guess what she doesn't ever cuz she doesn't care to know and that's actually perfect for both of us So yeah, like what do you want from me the mascot dude mascots at three huh as far as characters go sure Gritty all the freaks that they have a Philly. Oh, yeah, all the all the Philly freaks you get a Lucille at the Giants games You get stomper at the games you get a sure sure the NBA has just a litany of nasty monstrosities that he run around the court Everyone's in a lot of it's not really as big a part of the sport as it is in other in other sports Right, I am I am because they're usually some stupid like I'll just like a basketball with legs or something Well, but there's a couple like that nasty Clippers colondor is horrible. Yeah, he's so bad Every once in a while the pelicans pelican is not good But then sometimes they also have a king baby and that's horrible You know what I'm talking about horror.

Yeah Straight night. I think a classic one is the Bulls Bull sure the bull at the box dear. I feel like it's a classic one Yeah, that's bango bango. Oh dude.

You ever see you dude You do you know what the fucking oh? I got a nasty one coming your way. Oh no Social media again. I'm just gonna post this that is the jazz bear First of all google jazz bear to call something If somebody said oh don't look in there my jazz bears are there I'm only assuming one thing and it's that that's the bear that you drive on your jazz bear and that's how this one looks This is so gross.

Well, all right. What do we so what about the stadium hype up guy? That's like a two to me They're fine. Yeah, the kind of assholes.

Okay. I'm fine giving him a one. I don't care about that. There's a fucking cool Hey, oh you fans out there giving up for your warriors dancers and he's fucking throwing t-shirts He's wearing a headband like get out of here.

I don't need you. You know what I love a funny concession guy okay I got jokes for strategy a proposal is a one huh go to the game and do it Yeah, you So bad Never once we get on the jumbo Tron in general. I think it's a two if not a one I think jumbo Tron is a two because it I think there's like certain circumstances where it's like oh that's fun Like that's our section. Hey neat, but like I don't want to be on like hey What's this guy look like like that when they do it?

Yeah, I think one of the best games hockey stadiums and basketball stadiums But oh but and I don't this isn't really strategy. This is like we need one more category Stadium features I I do love the like when they do like the Simba cam and it's just people holding up their babies like that Like yeah, I guess cam is a classic like jumbo Tron games Can we just call it that jumbo Tron antics up fingers for like what you think the answer is the trivia right? Yeah, it gets me every time they do a little yeah, it's fun. They do a little cup game with the ball underneath it I'm not getting stretched my brother.

Oh, yeah. What's that? You call I think it's a I honestly think it's a three I love it. I think it is too.

I absolutely think it is like hey guys Give me an intermission always. I'm always down to take a little Sure, geez low edge the old leg of Ronis. Oh, can we a stadium feature though? I don't know what this is fucking national anthem dude Well, I was just thinking about that.

I hate not a one. It's not a one. No, no, no, no It has obvious upside which is what sometimes someone fucking murders it and it's some it's tight other times It's me seeing the NBA finals and fleas playing it on his trumpet like sometimes you get cool shit with it I do agree that overall it could suck my bones. I just hate being there for it's like people It's gonna stand up and take my dumb hat off like come on.

No, I'm not I'm not doing I'm not putting my fucking hand on my heart and I'm not taking my hat off I'm not doing any of that bullshit, but I don't mind hearing someone that can sing rip up the national anthem See what I love is God bless America because I sing it with them and it's nonce it's that song is insane So I like that one. I'll put that one on my headphones. I'll listen to that one on Spotify. Oh, yeah for sure I'm always at the gym cranking God bless America.

Yeah, dude. That's how you get so yoked. Yeah Just like oh to the mountains. Maybe you tell about you didn't say much about your favorite consumables Yeah, we we did cover a lot of them with local specials because that is kind of my sure what I do love to get I mean, this is a this one is like I think more strategy than anything but like a lot of stadiums people don't look it up But a lot of stadiums.

It's not disallowed to bring in your own food. I Love this is only a baseball game thing. I would not for whatever reason I can't explain it I'm not gonna show up to a Warriors game with like a jersey mike's in my back. It's not gonna happen I don't know why but like there was more than one occasion that I would go to SF meets God rest it get a sandwich back packet Bring it to the Giants game to me that is very quite lit I'm loving that because I still have room if I want to get a little garlic fry if I want to get a little beer deli I'm not like back to the gills or anything sure, but I like to bring my own My own tree it just has to be a special treat if you're just bringing like a bag of McDonald's in you're an animal But if you're bringing one of your special treats, it's good.

Oh, bro I haven't even talked about my most recent England trip going to the game experience. Mmm hit me I sat for about five and a half hours and watched the second half of a cricket game Yeah, what is what is cricket? How you gonna put it as a one? Maybe it has to be a two because it was so it was so fucking correct dude It is like cricket is like you asked me to write a parody of a British sport There are positions called like the silly wicket and it looks so fucking rough everything they do looks incorrect first of all that I don't know outfielder whatever the fuck you want to call him or the silly wicket perhaps he's out there eating a banana Dude, yeah, well if you're playing for five hours, you got to keep your fucking shit He's gotta keep his strength up.

He's chatting with the fans people behind him He's like they're just like having a fucking conversation like he's not the damn silly wicket Let me tell you another thing about this fucking board when I got there in the second in the fucking changeover The intermission everyone was on the field everyone Let me be myself everyone in the entire stadium was sitting and laying out on the field because it was a nice hot day For once anyone this was this summer when we had those when the runway melted I can't stay in the makes no sense that that would happen. That's that's 10-0 Oh, okay must be canceled obviously Yeah, and I sat there for like five more hours and and it ended in a tie That is a no-go for me brother. I it's in anywhere for six hours to see a tie holy shit Dude God damn my ass. They're so hot and those fucking British freaks of mine wanted to just keep chasing the Sun every time the shade Over took us and I was finally cooling off.

It was like 85 degrees They wanted to move to more Sun strategy find the Sun is a one God Strategy though a three bring your son block. Yeah, bring the block. You got to you can't just apply it home It's not gonna be enough by the time you get to your seat you're a little sweaty It's starting to wear off you get to the a thinning the Sun is high you've made a fucking mistake and you're gonna look like an idiot I don't know what to put this maybe stadium features hot dude. I don't want it to be hot Yeah, I don't ever want to be hot.

Yeah, and that's like indoor obviously superior in that sort of temperature control way right in that specific way Yeah, that's like a huge complaint with the new 49er stadium is I haven't been but everyone says that one half of the stadium Just fucking bakes and there is no shade and it is like a legitimate people are like I can't they've got like those big fans that like blow like mist and put them facing towards the crowd because it's so fucking hot Jesus sounds horrible. They have to sell the tickets for cheaper. It's like you guys built this like five years ago How did you not figure this out? Stadium features to me.

That's a one outdated on purpose, you know, like I'm thinking like a regal field for example I get that it's like historic or whatever Throw it I we went to yeah, it sucks We went to a game at Fenway awesome to be in there Wow such great history such a cool ballpark You know when they built that dumb bastard They didn't realize that you should turn the seats towards the fucking action So if you sit on any of the baselines the seats are facing Great ahead so you have to crane your neck all game. Yeah to see home plate bad. Just update it down these uh speaking of Fenway stadium features Green monster go to hell stadium features that field level bar. They have as cool as hell.

Wait. Why don't you like the green monster? I don't mind the green monster. No, I don't you can't have a cheat.

What's the cheat? Everyone uses it? You all are playing at the same field. Yeah, but it's like how Denver can breathe better.

Yeah, I get I mean Okay, whatever. I don't really get that strong shit. I like that. It's like unique That's because to me one of the best things about baseball is that they're like feel could be whatever size whatever shape it doesn't matter who fucking cares Yeah, it's crazy that there's not like a standard.

Yeah, every other sport is like it must be this many yards exactly They're like now we don't get like imagine if like the fucking Lakers go to play Phoenix and they're like our hoops are 13 feet tall Right, right, right, right or the Niners pulled up to the Eagles and they were like oh our shit is actually 70 yards Not 100. So yeah, whatever Which is honestly so good on good on baseball. I love it The speaking of like specific stadium features the fact that any time that you can hit a ball into water which is the giant stadium I think pirates you can hit it in like one of those rivers one of those Pittsburgh rivers That's obviously very quite late that is I would assume the Padres probably the same No, but the Padres you can bang it against the western metal supply building that's out in oh, yeah left field Which is also cool like that's a fun feature as well sure we have the tourists we got a bunch of ads on the wall Sure angles are supermarket. They got a target.

It's like a target you get a sandwich from England all of all that shit Obviously a well, maybe not obviously what do you worry about a giveaway day like you're going to the stadium in its bobble Night I love it. All right. I love I love playoffs when you all get you get like the matching shirt Yeah, that's a good one I like when it's something that the Giants are really good at dumb stuff So like last year one of the ones was a Sun Hat So it's like this big floppy Sun Hat and it was great because everyone's just wearing it A crowd full of people with like a Sun Hat that's got a ribbon on it and shit love. Yeah, I love that Which is awesome this year the the Giants are doing so they have to like kind of their Announcers that have been announcing for like 30 years with them crew can kite.

They're doing crew can kite teakey mugs this year You know I'm all over it, baby. Yeah, of course. I love that shit. Yeah Great There's really to say I got another I got some other stuff stadium feature a bad one is when your stadium has an iconic name And it fucking changes hung crypto dot com arena fucking God.

I mean even the even the Giants It's like god you were at and T park for so long. It's so hard for me to say Oracle and then what's something before that? Yeah, it's Pac Bell, but that's different because AT&T bought Pac Bell So like that was like it was the same sponsor technically, but the name changed. This is like a whole different fucking bullshit What's it called Oracle Park Oracle Park now?

Yeah, stupid stupid I thought Oracle made vacuums when they become like the biggest fucking tech titan in the history of time Oh, dude. I don't think Oracle ever made vacuums. Is that not true? I don't think so dude.

What are you thinking? Oh fuck about thinking of Oracle has straight up always been computer technology for sure Orick I'm thinking of orick The orick the orick vacuum You dumb bastard orick arena where the Warriors used to play You were like where's Dyson Center? How come? Named after Miles Dyson.

Oh fuck. Oh, yeah the Warriors. I when I was in college I went to the Warriors at the orick arena. No, it was oracle for sure the orick dude.

Oh boy Wow Damn this whole time. I've been thinking Oracle was orick. Oh man. That's so funny.

What a schmuck I mean yamah's out here making motorcycles and guitars. I guess that's true. Nothing can be counted out No discount. I think Oracle's gonna get it on the vacuum game in the next couple years We haven't talked about the actual game at all, which is very funny to me.

I guess that's not what you say We're not yeah the game it'd be very quite late if you were one of the athletes Stadium features location has to be good and that sounds obvious But like I've been to a lot of stadiums in this great country of ours And sometimes they're just in the middle of goddamn nowhere like the Niners stadium is in Santa Clara. No, thank you Yes, I don't want to get into boring shit, but like have some good parking lots. You dipshits, please It's not hard. I don't like teens and college students can get lost of course although we were those college students quite often Yeah, I was probably horrible.

Yeah, I mean we were drinking entire flass of rum on the way to the thing dude At least in all my years of going to basketball I was never like wearing basketball jerseys with nothing else under them I know I do that in the summer now if I get that summer look going if I'm just around the house I pop on my Sabrina I'll go Jersey and we let it ride. It's a horrible look. I saw guy today at the coffee shop It's absolutely it's atrocious unless you are in Jersey wearing cut from stone. It's a it's a no go I think strategy wearing a jersey It's a two I love to do it, but I'll be honest as a grown-ass man I feel a little embarrassed to do it at this point in my life I've always been a big fan of t-shirt with the logo right right right right but you need gear proof I love to have just massive colors game at least at the very least.

How about this strategy? What do you say about like we're going to the game as a? Somebody's birthday party somebody's bachelor party somebody's no yeah, it's a it's a medium to me at best And what's the point you're not gonna talk to anyone right you're all sitting in a line It's like that's like if you all went to a bar together instead of the bar But the good thing about it to me is it is a good activity to do before or after you had a bunch of other fun You know what I mean? You know you said bachelor party I actually don't think that's so bad because it's part of a larger weekend right exactly I mean like that's so I think that bachelor party like a single one offices This is what we're doing for my birthday toss that sure sure sure sure like like weekend part of a weekend trip basically I'm in yeah, I mean yeah, okay On Saturday afternoon we're gonna go to the game right right yeah, and that's fun So like if we went into if we came into Asheville, I would want to go see a tourist game obviously Definitely, but if we were only there for one day, I don't like to do that.

I guess yeah, it's one of the six things to do here Yeah, really man. We skipped over a whole lot probably, but I don't know I don't know what I'm gonna say like cheering for your TV when your team wins That's good when your team loses its bad I like to be honest points. How do you like to be a territory? Well before I really knew what the pre-sampers just go Warriors fan base was like I sure did as a college student role right into the orick arena with a Kobe shirt, and that was probably not my smartest maneuver Yeah, but is it a little bit thrilling don't you I like it?

Yeah, oh, yeah absolutely I love it in like a bar probably even more dangerous honestly for sure I haven't really done it too much. I haven't really I've been trying to obviously go catch the Lakers when they're playing Charlotte But like surprise surprise that tickets are just as expensive not in LA right yeah Yeah, we I want to see LeBron not play exactly and probably 80 as well. I Found myself at a Giants net's playoff game where the Giants won which sent them to the next round in the That is so fucking good. That is so good So then like a little how you gotta get out you gotta get out quick Oh man It's sucks It sucks because like the exit strategy for that is to get on a train with all the Mets fans that are very mad Yeah, no good Do a little Trepo Lee I would like not we were I'm you know, I'm a big shit talker and that was a situation where I was like everybody eyes forward Yeah, I was when the Lakers won in like 2010 I want to say I was watching it under dogs They were just go which is basically what comes to the Lakers enemy territory sure and that was a hoop because I didn't Like fear for my life at any point right um But yeah, it's a two enemy territories of two because it's high risk high reward I mean I don't think I can I would because I'm not a coward But I still haven't been to Dodger Stadium, which I really I ought to get to get out there But oh, you know what I loves is a stadium that's not doesn't have a company sponsor.

It's a good one It's a good one, but unfortunately Dodger fans are quite violence to Giants fans when they roll up to Dodger Stadium, which sucks a lot I mean I wouldn't say that's like what happens all the time, but yeah, obviously violence is a negative a million Um just be it's games guys. It's just games understand games just be just look if you want to get a little crazy Just drink like 55 10 cent beers take your top off punch a reporter try and kiss the umpire and you know threat Professional athlete with a knife you made out of a stadium chair I don't think that there's anything wrong with that. That's perfect way to wrap it up What do we got road island still in the lead damn in the lead is crazy to me shout out to all of y'all flow riders The fillies we got grating himself jamming on this thing Wowie Howie we got Texas I'm actually drinking some delicious carrots and brothers single barrel made right there in high Texas So cheers to you all I thought you weren't drinking on the weekdays. What happened?

Oh, yeah, I quit that like six years ago Oh cool. I thought I could have sworn that was like two weeks ago. You said that no I wouldn't have said that cool right on I drink every time we do this I managed to get through this fucking horse. Yeah, good point good point Shout out to bad talk to the music shout out to Adam Faye for the art Shout to going to the game even if you don't if you aren't a sports person a baseball game is a perfect place for you to go because Boy, this sport doesn't matter.

I mean Chelsea comes with fully a book She treats it like a day at the beach and she's like it is a day at the beach Yeah, but with no sand which is great and with better concessions Which is even better and I found that at the baseball game people that like baseball are more willing to not watch baseball And shout with you than they are at other sports where they like the sport Oh my god, one of the let me just get one more quick shout out and I already gave a shout out to SF meets But Joe from SF meets the true holy he taught me this incredible lesson We were just shooting the shit about the Giants and the stadium And he said you know what I love about the stadium is maybe it's a blowout giants are getting killed It's only the sixth inning and they're losing by nine runs says you just go for a walk and it's a beautiful thing You just yeah, you just go walk around the arcade you go, you know, take a look go stand by the water I mean nothing better than that folks Joe Joe from SF meets is the only oracle I fucking need dude and he's making crazy back in these days Go ahead and send us away dude. Yeah, and if If you're hot wear some shorts when you're going to the sports