gravity (by Sara Bareilles)

True Covers: For me, a “true cover” is a song that I love enough to revise: I alter the lyrics so that it feels more true to me. When I sing something repeatedly, I want to make sure I’m sending out vibrations that are in full alignment with who I am becoming. (“True Covers” also sounds like “True Colors;” shout out to the luminous Cyndi Lauper.)The original: This song comes from the great Sara Bareilles, featured on her 2007 major label debut album Little Voice as well as performed with her a cappella group at UCLA prior (how cool is that?). Read more about the song on Wikipedia or watch the official vid on YouTube. If you don’t already know the original, I highly recommend checking it out as a correlate to this true cover! My version makes sense in the context of Sara’s.Dedication: This song became important to me in the fall of 2015, when I began to reckon with the energy of the Wounded Mother as it related to me personally and as I saw it in the world. I grew up in conservative Christianity and in the systems of white supremacy and patriarchy; in these contexts, the mother may be celebrated as a healing presence, but she also becomes the dumping ground for whatever “shadow” energy/emotion/experience those around her don’t want to encounter. Sara Bareilles wrote this song about her first major heartbreak (what sounds like an emotionally coercive relationship) … for me, this song captured the way I have felt toward my own precious mama at times and how I have felt “held down” sometimes by my physical body (so now we’re getting into the Mother Earth/Divine Feminine wound). Over the past few months, a new version of this song - a song for healing the mother wound - has been gradually unfolding in me. Last week, I sang it for a group of soul sisters (and one soul brother!) at my SoulCollage® Facilitator Training. Huge thanks to Dr. Isabel Phillips, our trainer; Genesis Spiritual Life & Conference Center, our cocoon; Eileen West, who recorded/edited/compressed this video; and to all my soul companions, in particular my community at Jeanne Geiger Crisis Center, where I learn every day that healing is possible and it doesn’t have to be pretty or perfect.I dedicate this to all of us as we engage in healing and in defending every mother, our Mother Earth, and every kind of body. This is a time of great gravity for our nation and for our shared Home.The rewrite:Something always brings me back to youIt never takes too longNo matter what I say or doI'll still feel you here 'till the moment I'm goneYou heal me with a touchYou seek me without claimI never wanted anything so much than to drink in your sun And dance in your rainSet me free, help me be,And I might lay here for a while in your gravityHere I am, and I standSo tall, just the way I'm supposed to beBut you're on to me and not over meOh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragileAnd you taught me to be strongIf we linger for a little whileWe might both see a new dawnI am free, you see meEverything we do is held within a perfect gravityHere I am, heart in handSo true, and it’s all in thanks to youYou’re holding me and releasing meYou know I’ve tried to please but you don’t need that from me You only want to see me keep my feet on the groundWe’re neither friends nor foes, though we might need to let things goThe one thing that I sure know is that you won’t keep me downOooo…You won’t let me downYou’re holding me, holding me, and releasing meSomething always brings me back to youIt never takes too long This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe