Monday Morning Muse

for Fieldsytop rowfar leftSoprano 1steady gaze,lyrics memorized,worlds of adolescent wantingwaiting on the other side of this concertfor students you are haven,for colleagues you are ballast,to your family you are the doorthat won’t ever be deadboltedin February you let me take this yarnJune 6th I’m knitting leg warmersback pew Portsmouth whileyou read Wendell Berry to introduceDeep PeaceI put down my needles& curl up inside the soundI want to glance up at youwhile making slow progresson imperfect holiday giftsas long as we both shall liveToday’s poem I wrote after watching my friend Ali Fields perform with Voices From the Heart in Portsmouth, NH. Ali is “Fieldsy” to me: a wide open field and a born adventurer.New moon as of yesterday; I’m still wading through the murky middle of life transition, but I feel less fear and more constancy in my creative work. My friend Kim Woods reminds us that we’re all invited to shine in her recent post Jupiter in Leo: Your Year to be Boldly Seen.Whatever work you’re up to - loud or lilting - I wish for you friends & chosen family who help you polish yourself back to shining.Thanks for being here. Like all creative endeavors, Monday Morning Muse thrives when you keep showing up! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Hannah Trav, Esq. is a stand-up comedian, writer, and lawyer based in Philadelphia. We helped grow each other up by sharing church life in the 90’s and early 2000’s.Hannah is witty, winsome, and dynamic on stage. As a kid she made up sketch comedy with friends. We both remember her hilarious turn as Abednego in the kazoo-wielding Biblical musical It’s Cool in the Furnace. In this conversation Hannah celebrates her dynamic family, shouts out her undergrad philosophy professor Cheryl Foster, and is candid about the anxiety she’s experienced since youth.From the importance of changing the toilet paper roll to our shared preference for listening to full albums, this conversation gets musical, social, and just plain silly. Hannah chose two songs in the lightning round, Liability by Lorde and Cool Girl by Tove Lo.Keep up with Hannah Trav on Instagram or on her website. I’m looking forward to catching her live the next time I’m in Philadelphia.Thanks for being here. Like all creative endeavors, Monday Morning Muse thrives when you keep showing up! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Bob and I go way back: I posted about his kidney transplant 14 months ago, but we met c. 2008 at Stoneridge Children’s Montessori School, where I taught two of his four children and we shared the effervescence of early childhood magic.I had the good fortune of coaching Bob as a singer 2018-2020; in this video we reference musicals like Big River and Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Bob shares about his trip to ancestral grounds in Italy while we discuss creativity, empathy, and what is fueling our engines of delight at a time of global anxiety.Bob talks about the consumerist societal mandate: “fill your role and feed the monster.” I want to hold onto this snippet as an invitation to deep soul-diving. Perhaps a future guest will want to reflect on their own ways of evading the monster.Two final notes: * The novel I talk about in this episode is Percival Everett’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel James.* Here’s the Wikipedia entry on the interstitium, the anatomical space that currently fascinates me.Monday Morning Muse thrives when its listeners drive. To receive new posts & help steer future collaborations, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Five-year-old me pipes up to begin this episode. While aspects of the memory are blurry, I’ll never forget the feelings of indignation that came when I was accused of stealing a toy. While I recently took a roll of painter’s tape from a workday at Windhover Performing Arts Center, I confessed it in an email to my friends there within 24 hours. My confessional streak - childlike at times - makes sense for a person who has always worked with children and families. I’ve learned some of my best lessons from wide-eyed writers like Annie Dillard and Rumi, whose line “unfold your own myth” I bring up (& misattribute) in this episode.I’m grateful to all who offer truth with love and respect: case in point, the luminous John Hicks, a fellow music educator who works in Gloucester, Massachusetts and keeps in touch with students & friends from around the world.I hope to bring John on the podcast eventually, but I especially love eating tacos & sharing time with him. John gives sound advice (pun intended), but it’s his presence that is a transmission of lovingkindness. May we all offer our communities compassion and courage in the here-and-now.Thanks for checking out Monday Morning Muse! This post is public so feel free to share it.Next week I plan to post a conversation with another brilliant poet; stay tuned. Keep an eye on my YouTube channel (@HannahLynnMell) for some live Zoom conversations about music making.Monday Morning Muse is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Aloha vibes to the nth degree with the empathic and comedic Ryan Wilson. His Linked In profile suggests that he knows his stuff when it comes to sustainability and complex systems. This conversation runs the gamut from human psychology to spiritual practice, and it comes back again and again to the joy of being an inhabitant, explorer, and protector of Mother Earth. Ryan and I will schedule a live for some time in the next couple months to dive deep into our understandings of organizational evolution as well as frameworks for integral spirituality (I mentioned Ken Wilber ever so briefly). Keep an eye out!Ryan and I are both consultants who offer services across a variety of sectors. Ryan is an engineer with a heart for everyone in the room; my musical, Montessori, and MSW backgrounds have me focused on igniting social change through the arts and education. We met via Alignable a couple months ago. I love seeing the way Ryan’s mind works in real time and talking not only about Boston Climate Week but about music. Here’s some beautiful music to start your week off, with gratitude to Ryan for introducing me to the genre of forró.two Brazilian forró songs:- Feira de Mangaio - Clara Nunes 1979- Eu Só Quero um Xodó - Dominguinhos - 1998from Ryan: I must add one more, as a Trinidadian and with mother’s day on sunday … If I were a song; in this moment it is this one.- Far From Home - Calypso Rose - 2016Monday Morning Muse is a reader and listener-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Wonderer, Warrior, and Witness. Triadic conversations delight me just as much as alliteration. Here I play the wonderer while introducing Warrior Von’Erik to bring in truth & tech-speak. Our wise & winsome Witness is Danika, Substack’s own Literary Spinster.Next week: I will air a conversation with Ryan Wilson, local engineer and consultant who is deep-diving on Boston Climate Week. I’ve enjoyed geeking out on sustainability as far back as I can remember, and I’m looking forward to learning more from him and sharing his wisdom. I will be offering a monthly “Live” for paid subscribers only on the SoulCollage process, please check out the official SoulCollage website if you’d like to learn more!If you’d like to play the role of the “witness” as Danika did this week from a different location, please message me or add a comment. The musicians who provided background music today are Alexis Ffrench, Marconi Union, and Dustin O’Halloran.Monday Morning Muse is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Poetry, courageous expression, and compassionate action may yet shift the tides of foolishness and greed in the direction of love. I grew up learning that miracles can happen and I’ve seen many of them in my 45 years.This evening I’ll be facilitating Roxbury Read Aloud at Long Live Brewery: it’s a monthly event that’s just getting started.In this episode, I share video footage of Michelle LaPoetica offering beauty at the CreativeSoul Networking event she hosts on Thursdays at Village Tavern in Salem. I also offer a glimpse into the space where I find some of my greatest joy: dancing! Michelle Rubiera of 1 More Rep Athletics teaches Zumba style the Carlos Vives + Shakira song La Bicicleta.Whether you are speaking, singing, moving, or quaking in your boots, let’s choose courage over calamity and kindness over insanity.Thanks for reading Monday Morning Muse! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

It’s Marathon Monday here in Boston, and over the past few days, I’ve fist-bumped women who traveled from France, England, and Michigan to test their endurance. The vivacity of these women may inspire a new song, but Robert Pipkins would advise me to stay focused.Rob made Olympic history in the sport of luge and here opens up about a few things you won’t find on his Wikipedia page or Linked In. If you want to go beyond a quick internet search on eustress - positive stress - here’s the academic deep dive via the National Institutes of Health.Our discussion of collective effervescence is something I’d love to discuss with my next guest. How do you define who is on your team and what exactly does it mean to be a citizen of the world?I debuted a semi-improvised rapid fire round of questions with Rob. While he knows less Lupe Fiasco music than I would prefer, respect to his love of the song Killing in the Name by the uncompromising band Rage Against the Machine.While my improvised poem at the end of this conversation will get reworked into a haiku, Rob emailed me a 2026 offering from the United States’ youngest inaugural poet, Amanda Gorman, For Renee Nicole Good. Amanda discussed her timely offering in a conversation with Juana Summers on NPR, and the full text of the poem was graciously shared on Substack by street writer Trevor Scott Barton.Your attention is a gift. Consider subscribing! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Jahmo Chavez and I recorded this last Thursday afternoon…in between carrying boxes up and down the stairs of my old apartment. It was important to me to bless the space through song before I finished moving out, and Jahmo was the perfect soulful friend to help.Jahmo and I met at a Martin Luther King Jr. Day event in 2025, where he was a featured performer. Late in this video you will see a quick pic of the paper program, which I saved … I had Jahmo sign it on Thursday! I hope to collect signatures from other folks who were at the event, from my former music student Molly Grant to the remarkable Dr. Katrina Everett, who offers consultation via Restorative Justice frameworks. Check out her website: https://kateverett.com.Last year Jahmo and I chatted with our mutual friend Deirdre Budzyna, who runs Acting Out! studios in Newburyport, MA: https://actingoutnbpt.com. Back in January I used Instagram to start following Jahmo and his friends’ incredible band Glasshouse out of Lawrence, MA: @glasshouse_id on Instagram; often covered by @importeddreamz_id on YouTube.There’s nothing like live music, and Glasshouse rocks like they’ve been doing it since childhood … which they have! Jahmo feels like a younger brother to me. His capacity to hold space for big emotion is vast and his musical talent is commensurate.Jahmo, I have some tree-nut free brownies baked and waiting for you in my new apartment! We’ll coordinate our schedules soon. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode of Monday Morning Muse on Substack, I share a song by the amazing @joyoladokun to honor her birthday. This episode includes a brief description of "traumagic," a term I may or may not have coined a year or so ago. We are welcoming in spring on Easter Monday and uplifting hope even when the state of the world feels frightening. This episode talks about the power of the @bostoncyclistsunion as well as two young people named Talia and Prince. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

I start this episode reading Kobayashi Issa (1763-1828) as translated by Lucien Stryk & Takashi Ikemoto in John Brehm’s marvelous anthology The Poetry of Impermanence, Mindfulness, and Joy.Next, I give a quick recap of last year’s creative venture 44.4 the Musical, which is in the rewrite process and will become a documentary film at some point in the next three years. I briefly talk about Jake Egan O’Hara’s wise influence as I created the 44.4 Collaborative last spring (you can get on our updated email list/Google calendar for Zoom & in-person offerings by emailing [email protected]).The heart of this episode is my acronym for the word IDEALS, which is how I personally go about any creative venture.I - ImagineD - DiscernE - EducateA - AdvocateL - Lead (by)S - Spirit, Strength, StrategyFinally, I discuss my need to come to a place of greater serenity and grounding over the months to come as I have been in major life transition over the past year. If you’d like to support the funding of the documentary collaboration, please follow team44point4 on Patreon!Thanks for reading Monday Morning Muse! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Tip of my tongue to the back of my teeth. Hand on belly, thumb at my tummy button. This is the term she’s using. I chuckle. Might as well be nine again, ready to audition for Annie, the songs memorized and determination gleaming in my eyes.I let sock feet sink into the crevices of the longsuffering slatted floor. My toes are tree roots imbibing breath. An “s” sound before vocal folds press together.I sing.Keep warm-ups simple at the beginning. Every music teacher knows this. I’ve offered a descending five note scale to more choristers than I can count, but at 43 I haven’t taken a lesson in years.My new coach’s name is Caroline. “I’m not for everyone,” she said on the phone from her porch in West Virginia. “I won’t be offended if we do one lesson and you decide it’s not the right fit. But I’m a good diagnostician.”Two minutes into the first lesson, she pinpoints what has been causing strain in my middle voice. “It’s tongue tension. The tongue is the strongest muscle in the body per square inch, and the back of yours is pushing down on your larynx.”It’s simple, the answer I’ve wanted for almost a decade. I feel exposed and quavery: the elated child who got called back for the role of Annie and was told I cried so realistically and the older girl will play the part.“You’re swallowing your sound,” Caroline says to my midlife eyes, which blink away embarrassed tears. “You take it back like an apology.”She isn’t talking about my voice. She’s describing my career, my marriage, my life.She tells me to move the tension from the back of my tongue to a gentle arch at the tip. “Imagine your tongue like a dolphin leaping. That’s good!” She nods and leans forward. “You don’t have to drop your jaw so much. Try again.” Her smile: torchlight.As we finish the first lesson, she tells me I have natural placement. There is nothing wrong or damaged, just an outmoded pattern of holding tension. My voice – “the gift,” she calls it, is a big one. I don’t have to work so hard.“This is how we heal a voice, with the simplest little exercise,” Caroline says. “Let it be a meditation. Don’t listen with your ears, the ears judge. Listen from your third eye. We are looking for sensation. Hand on your belly: include yourself in the conversation.”Each day: the five-note scale between sips of tea.In our second lesson, Caroline pays close attention to my breathing. She spots tension in my neck and sends me to my kitchen for a straw. “Purse the lips, move the tension forward. Inhale through the straw.” It takes me a while to get it because I usually sip drinks politely.“All the air in the room is yours,” she exhorts me like a preacher. Again I’m a child, sucking down air instead of Dad’s root beer float.At the top of the inhale, I pause like a gymnast visualizing her vault. Belly and ribcage expanding, balanced pressure for the onset of the sound, prepare the lower abdominal muscles to sustain the phrase.Caroline notices. “A lot of people hold their breath when they think.” I admit I’m intent on getting it right, on being the A-plus student. She chuckles. “I don’t want you to try, I want you to play. Perfection is an insult to God.”So I slurp air through the straw and let the sound out sloppy, simple, somehow more true. “That’s it,” she exclaims. “Sing in the space of joy.” My tears are relief now, and I shake them off more easily.For decades I’ve nurtured the voices of others: choral conductor, voice coach, Montessori trainer, hospital chaplain, crisis therapist. Some of Caroline’s words I’ve said to my own voice students and clients, so I laugh to hear them come from someone else’s mouth. But I couldn’t have said them to myself, because a coach can’t be her own coach, just as a doctor can’t be their own doctor.In nineteen months, I’ll wriggle out of my latest semi-plausible grasp at perfection. It will look like a perilous nosedive from my underpaid nonprofit career and an uncoupling from the man of everyone else’s dreams.Friends and family will question my sanity and distance themselves. The person I poured myself into will prefer his pension to old promises. Some will call me brave; others will berate and belittle. Integrity comes at a price I don’t yet know how to pay.I like to go back to that first lesson, to remember the cicadas outside my window, Caroline’s chubby dachshund yipping, a butter-yellow valance fluttering against the unforeseeable.I close my eyes and breathe. I become the child who returned that day: nine years old, confident she deserves center stage.I sing.Monday Morning Muse is reader-supported. To support my work & uplift the voices of those waiting in the wings, consider subscribing!For a taste of dyadic voice work, check out my interview with voice coach Caroline Khella Hope, discovering & expressing your authentic voice. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

This conversation was a long time coming! Claudia and I became friends in late 2017 when we swapped services: she is a masterful business coach who centers healing, growth, and gentle wisdom. You can find her in New Hampshire and on her website, https://hanielconsulting.com.I feel honored to uplift the voice of an introverted truth teller who is proud of her daughters, her capacity for heart-attunement, and her process of healing. Time with Claudia always helps me ground my sometimes effervescent energy. I’m so grateful to offer her wisdom here as we begin a new year in the Chinese Zodiac cycle. Fun fact: we are both born monkeys and both Capricorns.My own revised website should be up and running in the not too distant future! In the meantime, it’s worth checking out some of my favorite music, conversations, yoga/dance offerings, and collaborations on my YouTube channel, started in 2009.Monday Morning Muse is a reader-supported publication. Feel free to dive into the archives or subscribe! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Thanks for checking out this collaboration! Our posts are public: feel free to share the love :)Hannah Lynn Mell is Monday Morning Muse on Substack and can also be found in other social media spaces, including YouTube & Instagram. Her coaching practice is called Total Resonance (out of the Merrimack Valley in Massachusetts) & her Instagram team profile is team44point4. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Hi there!As we navigate seasons changing & our individual wants and wonderings, I love my friend Andrea Coates Vinson’s question.What if we do belong and the limitless love is all around us?I hope to someday share a podcast of a conversation with Andrea, but the question itself (from a poem she penned in November 2020) may make your week a little kinder, a little gentler.I include other favorite questions in the recording, as well as my intention to dive into the writing of my new friend Lorraine Corso, who was born in Brooklyn and I met in Philly. If you want to check out her story of survivorship, join me in a mini-book club by checking out The Field Remembers on Amazon…I will also post my take on Goodreads. Also, don’t be shy if you have a great question or something you want to talk about in person for later public viewing! DM me here or in another social media space.Thanks for reading Monday Morning Muse! This post is public so feel free to share it. Support me in this season of delightful unemployment via subscription here, or:* Check out my YouTube content (currently in the process of a reboot)* Enjoy my Spotify playlists* Send money via Venmo @Hannah-L-Mell, PayPal (in partnership with my wisdom mentor Bill Redfield), or engage via Patreon (look up "team44point4” … that’s a way to get a t-shirt, sticker, patch, or mug!)* I prefer in-person meet-ups; I will soon be offering a few weekly video consult/yoga sessions. My availability is currently flexible; check out Calendly to book a session. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Good morning!This is where I begin a new series, asking questions that prompt a mindset change. Feel free to skip the video.You can respond in comments here or on another social media platform. I’ll do a live video recording with someone that gets posted on YouTube by week’s end!If you have a question that prompted a mindset change for you, or if thinking about this question is helpful, please respond in the comments! Meanwhile, I will be re-sending the pdf of my 2012 memoir The Stretch Project out to a few close friends & family members for a final look before self-publishing a few dozen copies of a new version in workbook form. Message me directly if you’re interested and like to read things quickly.Now that I’ll be getting some money from unemployment each week, I have time to put into the world some of the things I created years ago. It’s a good feeling! Many blessings and much gratitude.Thanks for reading Monday Morning Muse! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Mama, listen to “Sit down, you’re rocking the boat” from The Music Man.If you don’t know what I’m doing, it’s just ‘cause I’m not telling you yet. Said every writer ever.I’m not trying to be rude if I don’t respond to a comment. I’m just working on something that’s not finished yet!Monday Morning Muse is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber … or not! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Recently on YouTube I posted a quick rendition of an old worship song I recorded in 2002. The actual recording is what you’re hearing in this post. But as I sit in my new apartment in downtown Boston, I’m remembering “messy desk zen,” a 2012 post I wrote for my WordPress blog - Breathe Deep. The old blog could stand a redesign, but no rush.While I (hopefully) gather a little unemployment for the next few months, I’ll take some time to monetize some of my old creations. A wise cooperating teacher in Haverford Public Schools named Ken Peters told me in 2003, “Keep writing for your church … this version of the Jonah story is better than most children’s productions I’ve seen. You could make tons of money with this side gig.” I smiled a Cheshire Cat grin and didn’t tell him the extent of my ambition: I would be the next Andrew Lloyd Webber. Or maybe part of a collab, like the brilliant trio of Claude-Michel Schönberg/Alain Boublil/Herbert Kretzmer, who brought the legendary Victor Hugo novel Les Miserables to life onstage in London. They also launched Filipina goddess of song Lea Salonga to worldwide prominence through Miss Saigon. Could I be a great like Sondheim or Salonga? Not likely, but you never knew. My dreams of fame weren’t unrealistic given the praise I’d received from the moment I stood on a church stage and made a bake sale announcement. Ever since, I’d traveled across the globe singing, dancing, and speaking fearlessly the truth as I understood it.Even an ancient Polaroid of me with a bottle shows a kid who knew she was being watched and liked it. According to the literature of attachment theory, this is normal. If a loving caregiver is holding the camera, you gaze back with sincerity and courage. If it looks like earned confidence, just call me a second child. I had the legendary Isaac for a wiggly big brother; I could smile at his side in order to prove a new star was born. Also, girls generally develop fine motor skills & verbal acuity a little faster. I kept pace with my bro in order to get into similar shenanigans and look cute doing it.The brilliant author Marilynne Robinson has a book entitled When I Was A Child I Read Books. Robinson’s English prose is among the finest to come out of the Americas in the past century - I got started with Gilead and have since read almost everything she has published.If I wrote an early childhood autobiography, it could be called They Passed Me Around & Sang. My parents were active in Evangelical circles throughout my childhood, and everyone who remembers my birth knows that a weekly home-based Bible study in our Upper Darby row-home saw me giggling as each Jesus freak took turns holding me. When someone talks about “chosen family,” I say that I knew the sounds of big love from inside the womb. Kathy McLean played guitar & my dad did too; everyone sang, bread was broken, occasional wine was poured. But mostly they saved wine for special occasions & shared juice and noodle-based casseroles: that was the Presbyterian vibe of Philadelphia in the early 1980’s.Like Marilynne, I was a voracious reader. I may have tackled Hugo’s Les Miserables in the unabridged English translation in 7th grade as a flex; literally - that 1600 page tome was a high intensity interval training workout in and of itself. My true good fortune, books aside, is that I always knew the embrace of a large circle.It makes me proud that many fine musicians had an early taste of social media “fame” because they sang a goofy song with me in the years 2009-2013 for a platform called YouTube. I was teaching at Stoneridge Children’s Montessori School in Beverly. I wonder to this day if the sweet taste of Hot Cross Buns in a parent’s Facebook feed inoculates a person from needing to become an Insta-Starlet or influencer. Some of them have lucrative performing careers, and some of them enjoyed that for a while before getting into teaching, nursing, engineering, or social change work.In a world of career changers, I’m grateful to be an Evangelical in the truest sense of the word. I was taught the Greek word evangelos means “good news,” and I am never without hope. I was schooled in Christian spaces and dove deep into all the world’s major religions at various points in my growth, but it’s the cultivation of long-term connections that buoys me the most. Occasionally old friends reach out when I most need it. Lately, I’ve needed it a lot.Here’s my invitation for the month of November: call up your dead. That’s right. Listen for the voices of your ancestors. Many brilliant voices from the dawn of time have encouraged us to do this, and now the concept of ancestral healing is spreading like a wildfire that has been stoked for thousands of years. But go a little further, if you claim the name of spiritual warrior. Check in with your heart and consider texting back or writing a letter to someone you’ve been avoiding. “Ghosting” people is normal these days, and while it means nothing to some, to others it is a wound akin to torture. If you feel a repeated nudge in your spirit to extend an olive branch, it might be time to put pen to paper, remind them of a delightful old memory, or take some other risk.You don’t need to go crazy - most people don’t want a Say Anything moment - but if they loved the movie when it came out, maybe that’s exactly what they want. For me, heartache is only salved via gratitude, growth, and a soulful expression of my grief. For me, this comes in the form of grunting (working out hard), groaning (with relief/anger/sorrow), and grit (cleaning/shaking off the dirt/etc). Each of us has our own methodology for healing and healing is unpredictable. No one can direct you to a perfect path. There are no shortcuts in the work of healing.But some of us don’t want shortcuts. Some of us are crazy enough to take a deep dive (thanks, Steven Curtis Chapman & Ricky Staggs). If you’re one of US (and I mean the people who care deeply without holding back), I hope you will consider subscribing to my Patreon page by looking up “team44point4.” This will fund the publication (via small press & pdf shares) as well as the translation of my 2007 memoir The Stretch Project into a new book that is an exploratory journal for people of any cultural background. Thanks for reading/listening/considering, and may we all be brave like Nichole Nordeman, audacious like U2 (& Audacy, who produced this incredible video of the underplayed tune Every Breaking Wave), collaborative like my friend Peter Lupien, and fearlessly forthcoming like Taylor. Like our good pal Natasha Bedingfield, we know all the best stories are still Unwritten.Note: this picture was taken by Isaac Mell or Jeff LaBonde on New Year’s Eve in Salem, Massachusetts, as we rang in the new year of 2008. Acclaimed photojournalist Ashley E. Smith & I were just getting ready to dance our hearts out on Lafayette Street.Monday Morning Muse is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Subscribing to Patreon “team44point4” is even better! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Please DM me if you’d like to see a tidy transcript of this episode or if you’d like to receive the link for the Team44point4 Venmo. Patreon coming soon!The song I mention in this post is Nichole Nordeman’s Legacy.The organizations I mention in this post include * Jeanne Geiger Crisis Center - annual Walk on October 5th!* YWCA Northeastern Massachusetts* Youth With A Mission - my childhood bestie Jess Kruse-Eriksen & family are at the Perth, Australia base.* Noonetime.org - founded by my friend Meghan Noone!* Hawai’i State Coalition Against Domestic ViolenceThanks for checking out Monday Morning Muse! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

This is a long one that includes a rambling personal update. More succinct offerings are on the horizon! Monday Morning Muse is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

in this shout-out to Windhover Performing Arts Center, Lane’s Coven, and all-that-is-worth-savoring on our planet, images are courtesy of me & the legendary Ashley Elisabeth Smith of Wide Eyed Studios in Philadelphia. Ashley showed up in a big way for team 44.4’s staged reading of my almost-fully-scripted original play 44.4 the musical. check the back catalog in my substack, YouTube, and/or instagram for more about that production.pictured in the final shot is the marvelous photographer/dancer/singer/songwriter/early childhood teacher Kelsey Atwater and her equally famous pooch; so proud to say I knew her when she was a shy middle school genius (aka diagnosed high functioning autistic) in the sleepy town of Hamilton, MA This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

True Covers: For me, a “true cover” is a song that I love enough to revise: I alter the lyrics so that it feels more true to me. When I sing something repeatedly, I want to make sure I’m sending out vibrations that are in full alignment with who I am becoming. (“True Covers” also sounds like “True Colors;” shout out to the luminous Cyndi Lauper.)The original: This comes from the majestic Sara Bareilles, plucked straight from her gem of a musical Waitress.Dedication: It’s been a while since I officially posted one of these, partly because I’ve been focused on musical sharing in other spaces. My voice is recovering from allergies and emotional trauma, but I don’t mind sounding a little messy. This true cover goes out to my soul sister Satya. She and the incredible Mychal Todd gathered family and friends yesterday to celebrate their marriage. I was lucky to attend the wedding ceremony itself in March of 2024 and I’d hoped to be present yesterday, but I ended up leaving early. It was an intense day and I know Satya understood, but I want to honor her in a special way. This is a song we’ve sung together karaoke style a couple times, and I altered the words only slightly to make them truer about both Satya and myself. Sara’s original really can’t be beat.Monday Morning Muse is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.This picture comes from Satya’s shower this spring. I can’t remember who took the photo, but I’m grateful to the Todd/Draper clans for making me one of their own. Congrats, Satya & Mychal! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

In this video I get back into the “weeds” of the paper I’m using to:* share & better understand my own journey with bipolar (here’s the original post)* ignite conversation about how we can help each other rather than relying on systems to “fix” the challenges of our time* prove I can still be a nerdy academic whene’er I wanna (just gotta make Faye Ogilvie, my middle school language arts/math/Life teacher, proud)* talk some more about my friend Danika’s amazing Substack channel.*Monday Morning Muse is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.*Danika, totally thinking of you-as-Emily-Dickinson in my weird/wonderful hand-me-down shirt today while hanging out in Pottstown, PA. Can you believe my mom made this shirt back in the 90’s? The cooler a person is, the cooler their mom must be, right? Even if they’re annoying and/or ridiculous at times. Like the rest of us. Wait a minute, are mothers people, too? ;) Accessibility note: This post does not have the full text typed; listen to it like a podcast if you usually skim. If any aspect of this post needs tweaking so that you can better engage with it, please directly message me & I’ll update the post accordingly.Thanks for reading Monday Morning Muse! This post is public so feel free to share it.speaking of moms, here’s me with the marvelous seamstress/goddess Kathie L.N. Mell when we were both exhausted but she had the good sense to put on a little make-up and wear sunglasses This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Singing a favorite song from the musical A Little Princess (Andrew Lippa/Brian Crawley) to celebrate a beloved friend and soul sister, Maria Gabriela Raskind, on her birthday. Thanks for making “growing up” look so wildly beautiful on the regular, rock star! And my humble apologies to anyone who is checking my version against the actual lyrics, it’s imprecise.Monday Morning Muse is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

This post goes out to Dot Pineiro, to Laura Rodriguez, to Jess Plante, to Jay Mejia, to Jay Caplan, to Amy Sittnick: some of the administrative professionals I’ve known and adored at Jeanne Geiger Crisis Center … as I’m writing this, I realize that Lindsay Smagula probably also needs credit for being on the admin team at JGCC, but she’s been in the work so long that I think of her as leadership!Bottom line, this post goes out to every human whose work is so smooth it’s easy to ignore.(Shout out to Jessica & Lindsay & Tory at stile by per lei boutique in Ardmore, PA: I hope you’ve gotten your fancy beverages from your boss!)Invitation: Notice someone who makes your life easier or more beautiful today and go out of your way to NOT ignore them. Whether that means presenting a flower you pluck from the grass (dandelions=heaven) or giving a big tip and a smiling thank you: trust your intuition, gulp back your shyness, and shine a little love today. We all need it.photo credit to Laura Kozlowski, who took this pic at a recent JGCC fundraiser where I got to play the ignorable (but fun) role of pointing out the proper door to enter at the Andover Country Club.Monday Morning Muse is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber (you can always pay me a few bucks via Venmo or buy me a fancy coffee drink) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

I’m uplifting beauty-full friends who are change makers this week, and today I want to uplift two brilliant yogis and one important cause:* My friend Willa Worsfold (aka my big sister) … I taught her daughter music at Miles River Middle School in Hamilton, Massachusetts; she taught me yoga not long after and has consistently been one of the most important sounding boards of my “grown up” life. We’ve shared music, soul talk, spiritual growth, social action, and heart-full connection since approximately 2005. I’m on her team for an upcoming fundraiser - Yoga Reaches Out (see item 3 below).* My friend Ree Coleman, met in 2018ish at a women’s networking event (go Port City Women!) This morning I took her free virtual Kundalini class and found myself re-stabilized and grounded after an intense day yesterday. * On Sunday May 4 I’ll join Willa and a bunch of other incredible humans from the North Shore of Boston to raise money for Boston Children’s Hospital through the beautiful fundraiser Yoga Reaches Out. To learn more or to make a donation, check out my fundraising page here. I’m so grateful to be returning to shared yoga spaces again after taking time away from teaching yoga and mostly practicing at home. Willa & her dog Vespa (another important “soul sister” in canine form), c. 2013, photo cred Larissa DoroninaMonday Morning Muse is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

My intention for the week: uplift friends who make the work of social change beautiful and enticing! In this case, my dear friend Michael Bastien. His Lawrence, Massachusetts-based organization Brothers In Arms is a safe place for all male-identified bodies. Listen, donate, share the good word. Check out my Instagram reel from today for the poem I reference - John Fox’s When Someone Deeply Listens To You & some additional photos.Thanks for reading Monday Morning Muse! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

This was recorded yesterday, April 14, 2025. The pics below are from The Friendly Toast … chilling with Bob after our fun visit to BMC in Danvers. :) If you want my take on whether or not to subscribe with your hard earned cash (i.e., give Substack a cut of my creative profits), fast forward to the end of this vid. If you’d rather pay me via Venmo (i.e., make sure I see all the money), I’m easy to find. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.comHelloHappy TuesdayHappy two things can be true dayAnd if two things can be true, infinite things:kaleidoscopic possibilities.I'm here with Thomas the three-legged cat relaxing for a few minutes before my work day begins& I think I'm going to try to post on Tuesday mornings for the next two months entries that are just about two minutes long.The energy o…

Good morning musesThis is going to be a quick one because it has to be, because I'm starting it fairly late today.I exhort you to do the thing that is true to your heart without delay.Sometimes there's not a right time or a wrong time; sometimes it's just time.If you have been paying attention at all to Monday Morning Muse, you've heard me talk before about how chronological time is in some ways the biggest wound that we are trying to heal from as a species on this planet& how our ancestors knew about bending time and knew that one minute is just a game we play with ourselves.Last week when I posted about my friend Bob needing a kidney … 4 minutes before I texted Bob to check if he wanted me to link his Substack, he had texted me that he was already at the hospital about to get the transplant.That's right: he'd given me the info a few weeks before to post about needing a living donor… but already he had his match,and soon I'll be able to post follow up pictures:I was just over at the house over the weekend and he's recovering beautifully.So did I post about him needing a kidney at the wrong time?No, something in me knew that it was time.The night before, several hours before he got the call about the kidney, I was like, “It's time. I've gotta post about Bob.”That wasn't because my post was going to get the kidney; that was because something in me knew that it was Bob's time.And what if every single time we believed we were in some way out of sync with time was just the Universe’s sneaky fun way of inviting us to be more curious and imaginative in following the bread crumbs of our own experience.I know right now that it is time for me to finally monetize Monday Morning Muse.I intend to always offer the full Monday content for free, but other days and other kinds of content I'm going to ask for subscribers to pay …& that has felt, you know, not “necessary” for me to keep living, but it feels important. It's time.Lately it has felt so good to check in at random with old friends and with family members…just to make a call out of the blue and just leave a voicemail or send an audio text …On the phone with an old acquaintance the other day, talking about this musical that I'm writing, he thanked me for following up on whether or not he wanted to participate in the show,And I said, “You know, when someone comes to mind, I reach out,”and he said, “I wish more people would do that,”& I was like, “Yeah, I kind of wish that, too.”All of us can do that.I hope you have at least one person in your life who does that for you.I do that for a lot of people, but also I know none of us are ever enough for any one else.So grateful this morning for all the love that comes into my life and the fact that it comes in in a bazillion different forms.I hope that you find the same in this week to come and that you remember that if the love doesn't seem to be coming in your direction,Maybe it's just your turn to make the call.Maybe it's your turn to reach out.Maybe it's your time to monetize the project or to write the piece.Maybe it's just your time to go splash in a puddle or plant something that will grow in a few months’ time.Each of us are the only ones who know when it's time but when you have the sensing and the stirring within you, please don't delay. The rest of us are counting on you.Thanks for reading Monday Morning Muse! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Morning muses,Today’s offering is a slight rewrite of a poem I wrote for a beloved friend when she stood on the edge of an important anniversary.Lately I find that each human I encounter - including my own precious self - is dancing on the edge of something ……may it be something we choose to make beauty-full. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

good morning, dear friends! this conversation was recorded the evening of MLK day this year: 20 January 2025. Jeff & I have gone back and forth re. when to post, and I’m finally putting it into the world in all its glorious imperfection.when I watched it for the first time, I felt some real tenderness and sorrow … I spoke about that on last week’s muse.here are a few notes as well as the tags for this episode. I’m not sure if the transcript is going to come through!* It was Tara Hansen playing Aunt Eller in Oklahoma! whose name I forgot early on…sorry, Tara! * Here’s Jeff speaking recently about his journey at his Unitarian Universalist church. Watching this made me teary-eyed and so grateful to witness his journey.* This conversation goes all over the map, so I won’t link everything, but some tags are below.* Learn more about the great Tony Coelho here & the history of the American Disabilities Act in this excellent article.-a few photos from high school days-Monday Morning Muse is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Tags: neurodivergence; embodiment; the medium is the message; Haverford High School; Oklahoma!; Rodgers & Hammerstein; timelines; archetypes; creativity; spirituality; Hawaii; Taylor Swift; A+; Joshua Jones; Hymn the musical; Noelle Paris; Kristen Paris; in the box; making art together; Wind Beneath My Wings; Things That Go Unsaid the musical; alignment; evolving together; conservatism as safety; bipolar; bipolar bear; breaking the rules; recording; Sunnyhill Lane; Prayer to a Faithful Father; United Presbyterian Church of Manoa; Havertown, Pennsylvania; theater; songwriting; Love, Sex & the IRS; Temple University; Alan Harler; The Holocaust Cantata; Christianity; conservative Christianity; John Hicks; God Has Many Names; epilepsy; seizure disorder; brain surgery; Shawn Peter Raul Mendes; Life of the Party; focal aware seizure; feedback loop; euphoria; journeys we don’t understand; initiation points; seizure pathways; 2 golfballs of brain; seeing connections; Caddyshack; Unitarian Universalism; Kobe Bryant; Lower Merion High School; Lower Merion, Pennsylvania; Star-Spangled Banner; Haverford v. Lower Merion; NBA scouts; putting people on the map peripherally; RNS responsive neurostimulator; pacemaker; shocks; magic wands; early stage cyborg; fairies; not magic, just science; large heads; Tony Coelho; American Disabilities Act; ADA; mothers in law; human sexuality; UTEC; Merrimack Valley, Massachusetts This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Billy Collins’ poem Shoveling Snow with Buddha has been evocative and essential to my life since Ashley Elisabeth Smith introduced me to Sailing Alone Around the Room in 2006 or 2007.my Billy Collins collection, this morning, 10 Feb 2025Ashley & me, circa 2007my favorite poetry-memorizing perch - end of Ocean Street in Salem, MA, 2007 (photo credit Ashley/wideeyedstudios)same Ocean Street perch, different angle, 17 December 2019: the final day of my first semester - Master of Social Work, Salem State University (the SW building was a block from where we’d lived in Salem all those years before)2011, Beverly, MA: first shoveling sesh in my new polar bear hat (thanks for the hat, big bro Isaac) … photo credit David Draperwith niece Lydia, age 11 months, December 2012, introducing her to Grandma Jean & Grandpa George’s magical garden … one of my last photos from that home in Newtown Square, PAmid-shoveling with David in Beverly, MA, the walls-of-snow winter of 2015David & Birdie the dog, 2017, at the Draper/Todd homestead in Rowley, MAme at the end of a shoveling session: Rowley, MA, 2018fresh snowy hike day, 2022: photo credit Aunt Juanita or Uncle Dirk fresh snowfall in Rangeley, Maine, 3 weeks agoyesterday’s shoveling session, David in the background This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Early morning, pouring rain.Coffee, shower.Karaoke machine.Book of quotes; bag of cookies.I ask Hannah if there is anything she needs.“Organic half & half please.”During a slight lessening of the rain, I rush into the store and get the last carton.I arrive a bit late and give Hannah a soggy hug.People slowly filter in as I put the dairy on ice.Hannah gives me spoon duty, with unspecific requirements.I meet new people, all wondering how they belong.I estimate the mean & standard deviation of the ages of muses.I am an outlier. More than three standard deviations from the mean.More coffee and a croissant.I look at the books on the shelves.Always more comfortable with books than with people.I am talking with Hannah’s brother.Hannah asks if I completed spoon detail, schoolteacher style.In the kitchen, Hannah gives me a cup to hold the spoons.I grab all the spoons, vexed by silverware.There are pictures on the bed we are to use for the soul collage.I grab three of them and we head upstairs for instruction.On request, Hannah’s brother and I bring two chairs along.There is a circle of ten seated on cushions on the floor.Nate and I take the chairs (smoke’em if you got’em).I wonder why I chose the chair.Is it simply comfort? A power position?Because it lets me be with the group but also above the fray?We go around the circle, sharing our reasons for being there.And the states of our beings.It is striking that so many talk about wanting to change their lives.And that there may be casualties in going through with those changes.Mostly the talk is positive with an undercurrent of woundedness.They are here because they see it as a safe space.I am last to speak. About the new worlds Hannah has opened for me.It is all true but is less revealing than what others shared.I could have spoken to my own need for change.Better to share too little than too much. Old habits.We get instructions and head off to gather materials.In the bedroom is a wall of kids’ pictures.A baby picture of me wearing a straw hat is front and slightly left of center.Friends and family unadulterated.It could be a poster of lost children.I am trying to reconcile the pictures I collected (a lone horseman, angry BLM marchers, kids holding a “united” sign). These represent American myths. There is an expectation that I would ask myself the question:What do these pictures want from me?My instincts took me to the social, the political, rather than the personalThe larger question is what does my rage at the abuse of power say about my own journey? My own failures. My own wants?Trying to process this in just a few minutes seems too daunting.I am suddenly very tired.Lack of sleep, the rain, the task, and the immersive extroversion.I can do without a third cup of coffee.I long for these connections and yet I resist.It feels good to be in the presence of so many kind people.And yet I am distant.I am organic half and half.I say my goodbyes.Hannah is disappointed but gracious.On the ride home I reflect on the experience.Trying not to judge myself for my unease.Is it ok to be in a group and not be of it?Is it ok not to perform? To not focus on making an impact?Is it ok to just be there and take in the view?The equivocal musings of an old lion. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

k, so this is the beginning of my multi-media series on the direction(s) in which we need to move as a species. I’m finding that re-examining an earlier period of my life (in this case, content&comments I posted to YouTube over a decade ago) allows me to better understand where I’m at now.I’ve been saying recently, “we need to move from attention to attunement.” This is because I realized that the word tension is inside of the word attention (tho’ technically it’s not the same letters, so I never noticed before). Every time I say “pay attention” to myself or someone else, I’m asking them to pay the price of “a tension” … say the words aloud and you’ll hear what I mean. “Pay… a… tension.” And I’m like, -no thank you, Self, not anymore.I’m already a good listener (I have to be, I’m a musician/dancer/foreign language lover)I’m also a highly sensitized nervous system (I’m a trauma therapist and a trauma survivor)[*]Just yesterday, I flinched when I watched a meme (or maybe it was a Facebook reel/TikTok-vid-recently-migrated-to-Facebook)* of a black man moving to look at his black wife’s phone while their child is sitting between them … this content comes from a gorgeous black family (even their names are fab, “Orlando & Sparkle Wash”) … and the little boy humorously slaps his dad’s hand away, saying, “don’t be jumpin’ at my mama.” I’m honestly a little confused - to me, it seems like maybe they’re training their child to protect his mom from a bigger male body that might harm her. Or maybe it’s an inside family joke? In any case, the caption says something like, “If you flinch, your husband is abusive.”Well, I can guarantee you that my partner David is as gentle/sweet/kind as they come (our inside joke is that we’re “squishy souls”), but I could feel my body react to this playful moment in a joyful family. So does that make me a …a) total Karen, white privilege up the wazoo?b) failed anti-racist?c) subpar companion to my beloved friends/family/muses/clients of different ancestries?d) bipolar bear recovering from the trauma of 4 inpatient hospitalizations in 2 years?*****e) perimenopausal woman watching TikTok for (sort of) the first time (in the form of a Facebook reel) at 4:45 AM, fascinated but also wishing she could just go back to sleepf) survivor of intimate partner violence?****g) clinician at a top notch org serving/passing-the-mic/making art with survivors of DV/IPV? h) some inscrutable combo/all of the above?Okay, I could go on and on, but are you seeing what I mean about paying the price of a tension (er, attention)? There are so many identities that I have - so much skin in the game - and if I overthink it … if I lean into the tensions present … I will go down a rabbit hole (cue pertinent Taylor Swift song here**)I don’t want to pay this kind of attention any more, my nervous system is hella fried.-this pic inserted to remind you to take a deep breath if listening to me is making YOU feel fried right now-Instead, howzabout we attune to one another? When I watch this old video (thanks for your permission to share, Ainsley***), I see me doing a lovely job attuning to Ainsley (age 4, methinks? correct me if I’m wrong, Deena & Ainsley) and what she needs in the moment (I was a fairly passable music teacher prior to becoming a therapist). But moreso, I see Ainsley attuning to me, to the presence of the camera, and to certain things that are unseen … in the classroom where we filmed it, outside of the frame of the laptop I used to film this. I watched and rewatched this video and it kinda blew my mind.If you like to nerd out on the subtleties of social interactions as well as the interactions (both conscious and unconscious) of humans with tech, please feel free to watch and rewatch it yourself! and if you wanna get meta, make a video of yourself watching it. humanity may thank you later. kiddingNotKidding). I’m gonna nerd out with a friend about this in a future episode. Stay tuned! In the meantime, here’s your master class in attunement.*note, when I tried to rewatch the meme via this link, I didn’t get to The original reel, but it brought up something else interesting, so maybe it will do the same for you.**if you thought of a different Taylor Swift song, please put it in the comments … one of my baseline life philosophies is, “there’s a tSwift song for that”****seriously, if you think you might be experiencing abuse/coercion in an intimate relationship, please contact the National DV hotline … please don’t contact Jeanne Geiger unless you’re in Northeast Massachusetts, it’s important that we keep people fairly close to their local area with these calls due to state/federal funding [boringest asterisk on a Substack post ever, methinks]. Also, if everyone who happens to see this post calls Jeanne Geiger, my beloved coworkers will scold me.***Ainsley doesn’t do a lot of social media as a 20-something studying to be a teacher [which -side note- makes me so flippin’ proud of her], but I was lucky to catch her mama Deena on Facebook messenger and got permission to share this old video *****[you may note that these asterisks are out of order. totally intentional, tho perhaps hard to track, sorry ‘bout that.] Lots of recent and future posts examine my experiences of vicarious trauma (and joyful creative release) while being part of the system[*] I’m trying to heal while doing my own healing work. refrain of my year so far seems to be: We’re all survivors. We’re all in some combo of recovery/uncovery/discovery. Let’s chillax and enjoy the ride.[*]hate to break it to ya, baby, but we’re all part of the system. now we get to figure out how to recreate it.Thanks for attuning to Monday Morning Muse! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

True Covers: For me, a “true cover” is a song that I love enough to revise: I alter the lyrics so that it feels more true to me. When I sing something repeatedly, I want to make sure I’m sending out vibrations that are in full alignment with who I am becoming. (“True Covers” also sounds like “True Colors;” shout out to the luminous Cyndi Lauper.)Postscript on this one: I never did write more notes, but what I say in the video is important. I’m about to post my next “true cover” almost six months later, and the “shadow side of empathy” that I allude to here feels more important than ever.Monday Morning Muse is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

True Covers: For me, a “true cover” is a song that I love enough to revise: I alter the lyrics so that it feels more true to me. When I sing something repeatedly, I want to make sure I’m sending out vibrations that are in full alignment with who I am becoming. (“True Covers” also sounds like “True Colors;” shout out to the luminous Cyndi Lauper.)The original: This song comes from the great Sara Bareilles, featured on her 2007 major label debut album Little Voice as well as performed with her a cappella group at UCLA prior (how cool is that?). Read more about the song on Wikipedia or watch the official vid on YouTube. If you don’t already know the original, I highly recommend checking it out as a correlate to this true cover! My version makes sense in the context of Sara’s.Dedication: This song became important to me in the fall of 2015, when I began to reckon with the energy of the Wounded Mother as it related to me personally and as I saw it in the world. I grew up in conservative Christianity and in the systems of white supremacy and patriarchy; in these contexts, the mother may be celebrated as a healing presence, but she also becomes the dumping ground for whatever “shadow” energy/emotion/experience those around her don’t want to encounter. Sara Bareilles wrote this song about her first major heartbreak (what sounds like an emotionally coercive relationship) … for me, this song captured the way I have felt toward my own precious mama at times and how I have felt “held down” sometimes by my physical body (so now we’re getting into the Mother Earth/Divine Feminine wound). Over the past few months, a new version of this song - a song for healing the mother wound - has been gradually unfolding in me. Last week, I sang it for a group of soul sisters (and one soul brother!) at my SoulCollage® Facilitator Training. Huge thanks to Dr. Isabel Phillips, our trainer; Genesis Spiritual Life & Conference Center, our cocoon; Eileen West, who recorded/edited/compressed this video; and to all my soul companions, in particular my community at Jeanne Geiger Crisis Center, where I learn every day that healing is possible and it doesn’t have to be pretty or perfect.I dedicate this to all of us as we engage in healing and in defending every mother, our Mother Earth, and every kind of body. This is a time of great gravity for our nation and for our shared Home.The rewrite:Something always brings me back to youIt never takes too longNo matter what I say or doI'll still feel you here 'till the moment I'm goneYou heal me with a touchYou seek me without claimI never wanted anything so much than to drink in your sun And dance in your rainSet me free, help me be,And I might lay here for a while in your gravityHere I am, and I standSo tall, just the way I'm supposed to beBut you're on to me and not over meOh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragileAnd you taught me to be strongIf we linger for a little whileWe might both see a new dawnI am free, you see meEverything we do is held within a perfect gravityHere I am, heart in handSo true, and it’s all in thanks to youYou’re holding me and releasing meYou know I’ve tried to please but you don’t need that from me You only want to see me keep my feet on the groundWe’re neither friends nor foes, though we might need to let things goThe one thing that I sure know is that you won’t keep me downOooo…You won’t let me downYou’re holding me, holding me, and releasing meSomething always brings me back to youIt never takes too long This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

True Covers: For me, a “true cover” is a song that I love enough to revise: I alter the lyrics so that it feels more true to me. When I sing something repeatedly, I want to make sure I’m sending out vibrations that are in full alignment with who I am becoming. (“True Covers” also sounds like “True Colors;” shout out to the luminous Cyndi Lauper.)The original: This song is from the marvelous Dan Wilson’s 2007 album of the same title.Dedication: This true cover goes out the morning of Jeanne Geiger’s Walk Against Domestic Violence; the song came into my heart and goes out to all those who are walking - whether literally or metaphorically - the walk of healing, creativity, discovery, and freedom. If you’d like to learn more about the walk, check out this link. This morning, I pulled a page out of a May 1978 National Geographic article that showed the Hawaiian fairy tern. The image of this beautiful bird that doesn’t build a nest resonates with the courageous beauty of many survivors I work with. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

True Covers: For me, a “true cover” is a song that I love enough to revise: I alter the lyrics so that it feels more true to me. When I sing something repeatedly, I want to make sure I’m sending out vibrations that are in full alignment with who I am becoming. (“True Covers” also sounds like “True Colors;” shout out to the luminous Cyndi Lauper.)The original: This song is from the 2012 musical Dogfight, which is based on the 1991 film by the same title; it’s composed by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul. I changed the lyrics of the first half significantly.Dedication: This true cover goes out to three incredible women who served as advocates at Jeanne Geiger, Kelly Coffey, Rosie Pagerey, and Kelly Surette. I highly recommend checking out Kelly Coffey’s marvelous comedy podcast Bitter Coffey.Note: If you’re interested in learning more about my “Walk for Aloha” team for Jeanne Geiger’s Walk Against Domestic Violence on October 6th, check out this link. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

True Covers: For me, a “true cover” is a song that I love enough to revise: I alter the lyrics so that it feels more true to me. When I sing something repeatedly, I want to make sure I’m sending out vibrations that are in full alignment with who I am becoming. (“True Covers” also sounds like “True Colors;” shout out to the luminous Cyndi Lauper.)The original: The seed of this song came to Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin when the band was in South Wales, stargazing during a nighttime break as they recorded their first album (check out more about the song in this Wikipedia article). Dedication: This true cover goes out to the incredible Clara Gaudette, our Survivor Services Coordinator at Jeanne Geiger. I say much more about Clara after I sing through my cover of the song. Clara exemplifies courage, compassion, and Universal Mother energy that provides a space where healing is possible. I offer this song with deep gratitude to Clara and to each person who dares to access the limitless love and healing potential available to us.Note: I give Sherri Mitchell-Weh’na Ha’mu Kwasset (She Who Brings the Light)-another shout-out today; so grateful for the Wabanaki understandings/languaging of spiritual warriorship that she describes in her book Sacred Instructions. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

True Covers: This is the first “true cover” that I’m putting out into the world; these will come when the whim strikes. For me, a “true cover” is a song that I love enough to revise: I alter the lyrics so that it feels more true to me. When I sing something repeatedly, I want to make sure I’m sending out vibrations that are in full alignment with who I am becoming. (“True Covers” also sounds like “True Colors;” shout out to the luminous Cyndi Lauper.)The original: The song’s lyrics are by Mindi Dickstein; music by Jason Howland. Sutton Foster originated the role of Jo March in Little Women the Musical on Broadway in 2005. Here’s a vid from a televised performance. You can find many versions of this song out there; I particularly like this one by Natalie Weiss.Dedication: This true cover goes out to my beloved muse/voice teacher Caroline Khella-Hope, a thunderous force of nature (“astonishing” finds its root in the Latin word for thunder). Caroline draws forth the authentic fullness of many others. Happy belated birthday; may you continue to live into all aspects of who you are. In the video, following the song, I explain a couple of the tweaks I made to my version, but I forgot to mention that I changed the line “I can feel it [the life I’m meant to lead] and it’s far from here” to “I can feel it; it’s not far from here.” I also want to be sure to link y’all to the amazing Malala, since I invoke her in this true cover. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Mom, me, and our mutual friend Danika ponder how our “where” affects who we become in this life. Our varying perspectives (from ages 72, 43, and 30, respectively) make for a wide-ranging conversation. I’m so grateful for the refreshment both of these humans bring to my heart. I have yet to master the art of editing Substack podcast transcripts, so I recommend listening rather than reading! Thanks for reading Monday Morning Muse! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

I’m deeply grateful to be joined by my voice teacher, Caroline Khella Hope, a font of wisdom, whole-heartedness, and wonder. I began working with Caroline almost a year ago, at the suggestion of my wonderful uncle Andrew, a fellow singer (thanks again, Andrew!). Caroline has been a central muse in my life ever since, offering insights in our monthly sessions that resound through the rest of my life. A comment like “Breath is a let-go” gets jotted into my journal and gradually metabolized. I hope you dear muses o’ mine savor a taste of Caroline in this conversation. I’ll admit that I have not yet studied the art of editing Substack transcripts, and I’m aware that this one is far from perfect. (One of my favorite Caroline-isms is “Perfection is an insult to God.”) I recommend listening rather than reading if you can, especially since this episode is all about the voice.Blessings and enormous thanks to Caroline! If you’re curious to learn more about working with her, feel free to comment or message me so I can put you in touch.Thank you for reading Monday Morning Muse. This post is public so feel free to share it.Thanks for reading Monday Morning Muse! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe

Back in February, when my beloved parents were visiting, I recorded an after-dinner conversation on the subject of healing. (You can hear ice cubes clinking from time to time in the recording!)My dad Bill and my husband David bore witness rather than chiming into the conversation. Both men provide gentle, grounded energy that was felt by those of us who spoke.This conversation required some editing, and that’s the primary reason it’s taken me so long to actually post it! I’m glad to be sharing it now to honor both Greg’s birthday (5/4) and Mother’s Day (5/12). While the recording ends a little abruptly, I trust listeners will feel some of the tenderness and connectivity we shared between dinner and dessert. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mondaymorningmuse.substack.com/subscribe