Grief Doesn’t Have to Suck: Lessons from Nikki the Death Doula

Get "Liberate Your Business" by Becky Mollenkamp https://liberateyourbusiness.com/Death isn’t something most of us are taught to face with honesty, compassion, or ritual. In this episode of Messy Liberation, hosts Becky Mollenkamp and Taina Brown sit down with Nikki Smith, The Death Doula, to explore what it means to navigate dying, grief, and collective loss with more humanity.Nikki shares how her personal experiences with loss led her to become a death doula and grief coach, and why she believes grief doesn’t have to suck. Together, we talk about how our culture fails us in grief (three days of bereavement leave? really?), the myths of the “stages of grief,” what collective grief looks like in moments like COVID and global injustice, and why rituals matter.We also touch on end-of-life dignity, hospice care, and what Nikki has learned about her own mortality from walking alongside others in their final days. This conversation is real, tender, and surprisingly hopeful—it’s about love, legacy, and finding joy even in the hardest moments.If you’ve ever felt alone in your grief, questioned how to support someone through loss, or wondered what it means to prepare for your own death, this episode will meet you right where you are.Discussed in this episode:How Nikki became a death doula and grief coachWhy toxic positivity is harmful in griefThe many forms of grief, including disenfranchised griefThe limitations of bereavement leave and how workplaces fail grieversRituals and cultural approaches to deathThe myth of “stages of grief” and why grief is nonlinearCollective grief in times of crisis (COVID, genocide, natural disasters)The dignity (and indignity) of dying, and hospice careTalking with kids about deathFinding joy, ritual, and love inside griefResources:Nikki Smith’s website (and podcast info)Nikki and Taina’s upcoming session on collective grief (Sept. 25)🎤 PROUD MEMBERS OF THE FEMINIST PODCASTERS COLLECTIVE