Grief, Holidays & Healing After 50: You’re Not Broken

December is supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year,” as the old song goes... but what happens when your heart just isn’t in the holiday spirit? In this solo episode, I invite you into an honest conversation about grief, loss, and the pressure to feel merry when your soul feels heavy. I share my own personal stories of navigating Christmas without family, discovering that grief doesn't follow a timeline, and it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong either. We explore the many faces of grief: death, divorce, empty nests, lost dreams, changing identies, and the quiet ache of what might have been. Show Notes | Transcript In this episode, you'll get practical, tender advice on handling gatherings, managing the pressure of “holiday happiness,” and giving yourself grace. You're reminded that it’s okay to grieve, to feel joy and sorrow together, and to do the holidays in whatever way feels right this year. Key insights include: Understand why the holidays can intensify grief, from traditionals and family gatherings to cultural pressure to "be happy" Discover the power of self-compassion, boundaries, and saying “no” as acts of self-love during the holidays Remember that you can feel grief and joy at the same time—laughing, smiling, or enjoying a moment doesn’t mean you’ve “moved on” or betrayed anyone Hear how community, retreats, counseling, and support groups can offer steady ground when the waves of grief feel too big to handle alone As you finish this episode, take one slow breath, place a hand on your heart, and ask yourself: What is one small, loving thing I can offer myself today as I walk with my grief? Resources: If this episode speaks to your experience of grief - whether from death, divorce, transition, or lost dreams - you’re invited to take one small step of support: Download my free PDF "How to Respond When You're Grieving" guide: https://gloriarand.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/How-to-Respond-When-Youre-Grieving.pdf Learn more about our upcoming Good Grief Retreat: goodgriefretreat.net Take what resonates and leave the rest. No pressure. I'm just offering an open door if your soul is nudging you toward more support. Connect with Live Love Engage: Send Gloria Grace a message ☕ Support the podcast ❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand Facebook: Gloria Grace Rand YouTube: Gloria Grace Rand TRANSCRIPT Grief, Holidays & Healing After 50: You’re Not Broken Welcome to Live, Love, Engage Namaste. The holiday season is upon us. Joy to the world and all that, right? Well, not necessarily. The sad truth, I guess, is that it's also a time when grief can rear its ugly head. And that's what I want to talk about today. So sit down, if you're not already, pour yourself a cup of tea, maybe a glass of wine, or a glass of water, because we're going to have a heart-to-heart talk about this subject, because it is one that's near and dear to my heart. So first, in case this is your first time here, or you happen to have stumbled across the Live, Love, Engage podcast, welcome. I am Gloria Grace. I'm a confidence catalyst and self-love advocate who empowers women over 50, through my love method and energy healing, to boldly live life on their terms. Why the Holiday Season Can Amplify Grief And as I said, you know, this year, this time of year, it's, you know, it's supposed to be joyful, you know, and everybody's supposed to be happy and gay. Okay, not that, nevermind, you know what I mean. I'm showing my age when that word meant joy. And you know what? I think for some people, it still does. But anyway, if you've experienced a loss in the past year, maybe even the past five years, whether it's death of a friend or a loved one, or even a beloved pet, it can be tough to feel merry and bright. And I know firsthand what that's like. My Personal Story: Losing My Sister Two Days After Christmas It's nine years ago, but I still remember it like it was yesterday. My sister, older sister Michaela passed two days after Christmas. And yeah, and I tell you, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I like, I could feel the end was near. And so, yeah, it was not easy. And it was not easy in the several years after that, you know, when Christmas would come up, and this time of year. And even now, still, I mean, even now, it was like little tears are coming up as I remember. Gosh, yeah, it's amazing. You know, our brains and our emotions are really powerful things and how they hold on to memories. Even, you know, things, and in fact, I even, you know, I could even go back farther and remembering where I was and when I heard about my older brother when he passed. How Holiday Memories Can Trigger Grief Unexpectedly So, and then, you know, when you come up with the holidays, it's like, and especially if you do happen to lose someone at this time of year, it's like every year, you know, even when you've gotten past, you know, that initial really tough stage of grief, and you're into the acceptance, it can still trigger things. In fact, I remember actually, last year, now that I think about it, last year at this time, I was driving somewhere, and I don't know, something happened. I just started tearing up, but I let the tears flow. And, you know, and then it passed, and I was okay again. But it was just that, those memories. But it's not even, you might not even be, that might not be what you're grieving. Grief Goes Beyond Death: The Many Types of Loss It might not be actually death of a person, specific person. It could be grieving your identity. Maybe this is your first year as an empty nester, and maybe your kids even, maybe they're away at college, and they're not able to come home for the holidays. Or maybe, like my daughter who lives in Europe, so thankfully she was home a couple months ago, but she won't be home for the holidays. I haven't spent Christmas with her for five years, and I've had to deal with that. Sometimes it might be that you're grieving, maybe the business you poured your heart into didn't make it. Or, you know, or some other dream that you had has died. Maybe a friendship ended this year, that one that you, maybe a long-held friendship, and for whatever reason, you know, it's over. Could be a marriage ending as well. So all of these things, all of these things can cause grief. And then the volume, the volume, I'm thinking ahead, it got ahead of me. The holidays can pump up the volume, as it were, on it. You're Doing Better Than You Think So, you know, loss and loneliness and longing for what was or could have been. So if any of you listening to this or watching on YouTube can relate to this, do what I did just then. Take a breath. Because here's the thing. You know what? You're doing better than you think. And you know how I know that? You're here. You're listening to me talk on this podcast right now. So that shows that, yeah, you're hanging in there. You're even looking for support. And we're going to talk more about that in a little bit. So pat yourself on the back right now. You know, go ahead. Say, yes, I'm here. I'm surviving. And I, this too shall pass, let me tell you. Why Grief Feels So Much Harder During the Holidays But so why does this time of year feel so much harder when you're grieving? Well, you know, there's the songs. Actually, I was just at a concert last night. And I don't think they did this song. But you know, it's the most wonderful time of the year. No, what is it? It's the most wonderful time of the year. There we go. I knew the song would come back in my head. Well, sure. Yeah, for lots of people. The Pressure of Holiday Cheer When You're Struggling But hearing all those songs about, you know, joy, like I said, joy to the world. And you know, all of these happy, wonderful songs. It can, you can start feeling some pressure from all that. And it can be quite exhausting. So guess what? You don't have to fake happiness. Because the people who love you are going to be able to handle your real feelings. Holiday Traditions and Rituals Can Bring Up Painful Memories Now, the holidays are also, it's all about, maybe not all about, but it's a lot about rituals and traditions, you know, the, maybe it's that holiday meal that you serve, or it's a religious service that you attend, or, you know, it's, you know, and no matter what religion you are, there's, there's a lot of holidays that come around this time of year, you know, not just Christmas, I'm, that's when I celebrate, but there's Hanukkah, there's, I know Kwanzaa, there's, there's, there's lots of them. So with all of those, there are traditions, like I know for Hanukkah, there's what the menorah, you like the menorah. And, and let's say if it is someone that you spent time with, you know, whether it was a loved one, or whether it's your spouse, or whatever, and they're not, you're not going to be spending the holiday with that person this year. You know, it's going to bring up memories, like, like, like, for me, when my sister was going through cancer, and I was out there, before Christmas, I was with her while she's going through treatments. She wanted to bake Christmas cookies. And that's something we always did in our family, is we every Christmas, my mom would go crazy sometimes, when I was really little, baking all these different, different kinds of cookies. The Pecan Crisps Story: Cherishing Memories Through Grief But my sister had a particular favorite, which is also my favorite. And they were these lovely, basically a sugar cookie with pecans sprinkled on top. So good. Just thinking about it now, I actually, actually made them for my daughter when she was here. So she would kind of kind of celebrated the holidays a little early with her. But anyway, so, so she wanted the cookies. I was like, okay, I'll bake, I'll bake these Christmas cookies for my sister....